Musicians I Thought Would Look Totally Different

You ever hear someone on the radio, conjure up a whole mental image of the artist, and eventually find out that you had it very, very wrong? There are some singers whose faces just do not match their voices. Sometimes you can’t even get used to the real person after you’ve seen them. It feels like after you’ve read a book and imagined all the characters, then you see the movie version of it, and it’s just… not. Here are some of my top cases of face-voice disconnect. In 2009 language, I got Susan Boyle-d.

Amy Winehouse

I don’t know what I was expecting, but can you blame me for not conjuring up this exact image? I mean it would have been pretty hard to think up. I don’t think I realized that she was British at first. I was picturing some smooth-coiffed, 60s looking lady, but less Winehouse’s beehive and more of a tidy flip a la Hairspray.  RIP. Too young.

What I thought she looked like:

Ed Sheeran

Like most 20-somethings with a serious YouTube habit, I was not surprised to see The A-Team take off. Come on, it was only covered by EVERYONE for the past year or so. But what I was surprised to see was Ed himself. Somehow I didn’t catch his face until March, when he was photographed with Taylor Swift. I was expecting someone sort of James Blunt-y. What I saw was a Weasley.

What I thought he looked like:

So… they’re not just all Robbie Williamses over there?

Justin Bieber

It’s hard to even remember a time when we didn’t know what Biebs looked like, but God, it was beautiful. Think back to before his iffy tattoos and sagging jeans. Before the hoodies and flat-brimmed caps. Even before his awful front-swishing hair do. Think back to the first time you heard Baby on the radio. You didn’t think it was a girl? I thought it was a girl. I know there’s the whole “girl quit playin'” part and the whole “she woke me up daily,” but I guess I just thought that’s where we all were now, as a people.

What I thought he looked like:

Jack Johnson

I don’t think I knew what Jack Johnson looked like til I went to his concert. I had his album, but the cover photo was sort of unclear and I knew he was Hawaiian, so I assumed he was like … of Hawaiian descent, I guess.

What I thought he looked like:

So… they’re not just all Israel Kamakawiwo’oles over there?

Hanson

We all did this, right?

What I thought they looked like:

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