Saturday Spotlight: The Week The Royal Baby Wasn’t Born

It’s July 20, and Kate Middleton’s uterus is still chock full o’ baby. We spent the week trying not to dwell on it, but let’s be serious, if the sun rises and sets on the British Empire one more time without a future prince or princess, I’m going to explode. Well, Duchess Kate will, anyway. She’s been pregnant forever.

Here’s how we distracted ourselves during the wait:

We couldn’t get our minds out of the British Isles, so we figured we’d bring a review of an Irish sitcom. Yes, Hulu is pushing Moone Boy pretty hard, but here’s why you should add it to your internet TV schedule:

Shows You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Moone Boy

As we’ve mentioned, summer is the perfect time to start up a new tv series, since you have plenty of time to catch up on episodes before the new season starts. I just wrapped up Orphan Black (watch it!) and Hulu was promo-ing the heck out of Moone Boy, so I figured why not?

If you’re not already, you should be watching this show. It’s the perfect light summer tv fare – like the sitcom version of strawberry shortcake, but made with more of a biscuit base so it’s not TOO sweet. Let’s review:

This show is about Martin (David Rawle), a 12-year-old boy growing up in Ireland with his parents, older sisters, and imaginary friend. Yes, an imaginary friend, who actually appears on screen and is an adult man. This sounds horribly twee, but it really isn’t. The reason? Kids having imaginary friends isn’t cute to begin with. It’s weird and kind of creepy. One of my nephews has a whole gaggle of imaginary friends. He can tell you their birth dates, the age they were at any given year, their eerily realistic-sounding life stories (Sara got married when she was 17, but got divorced in 1979). None of the details ever waver.

Guys, I think my nephew sees ghosts.

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If you’re trying to distract yourself – like, say, while waiting for-freaking-ever for Duchess Catherine’s water to break – it’s usually pretty fun to stop by Buzzfeed for some of their fantastic lists. However, there is no good reason that these 19 lists exist. Yes, this is a list about lists. Meta.

19 Buzzfeed Lists That Are Absolutely Unnecessary

Chances are the in the past few years, a friend has e-mailed, tweeted, Facebooked, texted, MySpaced you a Buzzfeed link that fits your interests. But if you’ve ever browsed the actual site, there are a lot of random lists that you would never even think of making in the first place. And then there are ones that shouldn’t have even been made at all. Here are some that are just a waste of internet.

38 Signs You’re A Basset Hound
Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I a basset hound?” Well, here are some telltale signs that you do, in fact, have the best genes around.
– Socks are better for warming ears than warming toes.

12 Sounds You Need To Hear Before You Die
These will change your life.
– A tortoise having sex with a shoe:

… and 17 more at the link.

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What’s another thing where you just feel like you’re sitting and waiting and wasting your whole life forever? Jury Duty. Even worse, actually ending up on a Grand Jury for an entire month. Don’t worry, it was not all-the-way awful:

Jury Duty: Law And Disorder

Think about things that come in the mail. Now, rank them into levels based on desirability. The top level is clearly anything with money or a present in it. Below that, things that you’ve paid for and ordered. Real letters are pretty high up there. Now, travel far down the list – below the Nigerian bank scams, below your student loan statements. There, at the deepest, darkest level, is the jury summons. We all hate that damn jury summons.

I was able to put off my summons twice, and I’m pretty proud that I didn’t even have to lie about it. I was genuinely studying abroad the first time, and in school out of state the second time. By the time the third summons came, my only excuse was “I don’t want to,” which is I guess not recognized in New York.

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By Friday, we couldn’t hold it in anymore (but you know what could hold things in really really well, apparently? Kate Middleton’s cervix). We just had to discuss the Duchess’s flawlessly dressed baby bump. Also, sorry for saying “baby bump:”

Fierce Royal Baby Bump Is Fierce

March 15 – Odds are that no other young royal has ever work boots quite like the Dutchess. She may be wearing borderline fishnets, but the rest of her ensemble prove she knows how to keep it classy for a public event. Kate’s sporting a Joseph coat, Lock & Co Betty Boop hat, Stuart Weitzman Zipkin boots, Emmy Natasha clutch bag, and Cornelia James wool bow gloves

March 17 – How cute is this look for St. Patrick’s Day?! I feel like this is the first real time we saw her bump, and what a great reveal it was. For next St. Paddy’s Day, grab an Emilia Wickstead dress coat for St Patrick’s Day with a hat by Sylvia Fletcher for Lock & Co.

Luckily, there was at least some good baby news. Two of our good friends from way back welcomed their new little guy on Wednesday, and we love him already. On the same day, I was sorting my pills for the week because I’m an old lady. When I pulled out my prenatal vitamins (I take them because they’re good for your hair!)  they were covered in mold. I didn’t even know that could happen. It was the most disgustingly poetic moment of my life.

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