Well friends, this is it. The final installment of my Dawson’s Creek Virgin Diaries. It’s been a long road from Capeside to Boston and there were definitely a lot of memories made along the way. In case you want to reminisce with past seasons, you can find them here -> Season 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. It’s been sort of a struggle bus with season five, and I’m so glad the producers decided to end it at season 6, or get cancelled, whatever it was. There was a possibility Joey was going to Paris, Audrey and Pacey embarked on an epic road trip to LA – but will they still be together by the end of it, is the question – and Dawson … actually don’t remember Dawson’s storyline, nor do I care. IF THIS SHOW DOESN’T HAVE PACEY AND JOEY AS END GAME I QUIT.

Episode 1

Joey kicks things off with a voiceover, and the first scenes include Pacey and Audrey driving in front of a green screen. The cuts involved side swipes (yet again) from Windows Movie Maker and do they just not give any fucks the last season?

ATTENTION: Pacey has a goatee. A goatee. This is the most exciting plot point in the past season.

Look, a Jack Osbourne cameo because the year is 2002 and he was still relevant then.

Oh man it finally happened. Dawson and Joey had sex. I had to watch with my hand over my face.

Notable Quotes:

Dawson: Jo guess what?

Joey: You’re gay.

Dawson: Yes, that.

Episode 2

I’m probably not supposed to have this reaction but ughhhhhh it’s so awkward seeing Dawson and Joey post-sex. It’s almost incest like. AND he got her a rose hahahahahaha

Pace wants to be a stock broker now? He was better as a chef. I mean I’ve obviously never had his food, but I’m assuming. Also, he’s not real.

How’s this for meta – the movie set Dawson’s working on had to create a house and they recreated his Capeside one.

Episode 3

Joey just accidentally sent her heartfelt email meant for Dawson to the entire college, because that’s how it was in 2002 BF (Before Facebook) era. She legit had to go to her address book and click on his name.

Pacey. Just – gel haired Pacey.

Episode 4

Dawson gets called out by actress/fling Natasha in front of Joey because he dumped her via answering machine and then slept with Joey – and director Todd’s face is perfect. What happened to young, innocent Dawson?

And Jensen Ackles comes to the rescue for Jen when this stupid frat type guy won’t let her go save drunk Audrey from sleeping with some rando. Is this the show other WB actors went on before going on their respective shows? Also, I don’t watch Supernatural, but I can’t be the only one who will always associate Jensen with Days of Our Lives?

Episode 6

Oh great it’s the Halloween episode! At least it’s the last one I’ll have to sit through.

Audrey breaks up with Pacey and it’s the worst outfit he could possibly be wearing, because everyone’s at some kind of goth-type Halloween party? I don’t even know. But this breakup iss like when Snooki got kicked off Dancing with the Stars in her zombie costume or Candice on Big Brother voted out of the house as a clown. I used to write reality TV stories for a living.

Lawd the end credits looked like it was designed by RL Stine.

Episode 7

Do the producers exclusively have the rights to One Way or Another? Because that’s all they sing on this show. And might I add, Audrey is killing it. And by killing it I mean lit’rally killing the song because she is wasted out of her mind.

The song used at the end of this epuside is Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch, which I fell in loved with seven years later when it was featured on the soundtrack to one of my faovrite movies to watch on a rainy day, Away We Go. It was a weird crossover of media in my head upon hearing that song. (And apparently on The OC too?)

Episode 8

This episode is called Spiderwebs and is essentially a giant ad for No Doubt. Remember their Jamaican dance hall album? I do because I was a junior in high school and highly influenced by TRL. It’s why I had the Lit, Limp Bizkit and P.O.D. albums next to my BSB ones.

WHOA Audrey slept w Jensen Ackles while she was still dating Pacey and Jen is really into him? Can they break up already?

People who can stay together (for the mean time): Joey and Kate Hudson’s brother. Who knew he was so hot??

Also this English chippie is unnecessary. I actually find it annoying that she’s British. This coming from a girl who works for a British based company.

Episode 9

Tag! Tag with bad hair!

Oh Joey. Deciding to sleep with whatshisname/Eddie/Oliver Hudson hours before your final exam. Of course you’re gonna be late.

Pacey invites British chippie (honestly don’t know her name) to his work party and ends up kissing her when they’re back home in their apartment but he’s clearly just going from girl to girl while waiting to get back with Joey. That’s what I’m hoping for, anyways.

Speaking of Joey, the fact Eddie/Oliver Hudson/Joey’s current object of her affection’s dad works at the Worcester Arena is a huge plus because he snuck them in to ice skate after she punched her teacher in the face.

Episode 10

The description of this episode. Like who writes these?

“An out-of-control Audrey brings Christmas dinner at the Leery house crashing down – literally”

Ah, it’s Christmas in Capeside. I feel like this should’ve been an annual thing, inside of those stupid Kevin Williamson-inspired Halloween episodes.

Pacey, still trying to get get his bro Doug out of the closet, is still has a hilarious dynamic with Dougie as ever

Doug: Pacey, is that you?

Pacey: Merry Christmas, Dougie.

Doug: Yeah, right back at ya. Now, if you wouldn’t mind, could you tell me what you did with my little brother?

Pacey: I murdered that punk and stuffed his body into a dumpster behind the red lobster in Centerville.

Doug: Yeah, good to know. Well, you look, uh…

Pacey: Hip, handsome, hetero?

Doug: I was gonna slick, sleazy, and smarmy, but sure.

Pacey: Ok. Your sexuality, on the other hand, is just as dubious as ever. Good to see that some things never change, Doug.

I forgot to mention Joey’s dad got out of prison but failed to tell his family. But she found him and now he’s back with them for Christmas? Forgive and forget?

Also, this Natasha chick is still here. And in Capeside. Get out of here. At least British chippie didn’t follow everyone else to the Cape.

So Audrey is on this downward spiral, mainly because of her breakup with Pacey, but partly because she’s an alcoholic. Natch, she gets drunk at the Leery dinner and she resorted to stealing pills from the medicine cabinet. And she is causing a SCENE at dinner  – moreso than director Todd who attempted to hit on Dawson’s mom whilst saying prayer before the dinner.

Oh LAWD Audrey is lettin it allll out on the table right now!

Busy Phillips: A+. Audrey: get a fucking grip. She stole Pacey;s car and drove it into the house. Really I think the Leerys have had enough to deal with in the past years with accidents involving cars and ice cream.

This is the first episode in like 2 seasons that was actually some semblance of good.

Notable Quotes:

True facts from drunk Audrey:

Audrey: Hey! Where’s Tony and Maria?

Mr. Potter: Out on the porch.

Audrey: Ohh. Ditched for the boyfriend yet again.

Mr. Potter: What do we know about this guy, Audrey?

Audrey: Hmm. Chip on his shoulder, blue on his collar. I don’t know. Joey seems to like him.

Mr. Potter: Is it serious?

Audrey: Oh, well, like a heart attack, because you see, Eddie seems to be able to incorporate all the best elements of Pacey and Dawson, so it’s like the t-1000 of love interests.

Episode 11

This girl who’s professor’s daughter is supposed to be 15- aka the age the kids were in season 1, yet looks NOTHING like KT Holmes when they started the show.

These movie execs just gave Dawson the job of directing the movie reshoots. Now, I’m not in the industry, but I’m pretty sure they don’t just offer directors assistants/kids not even out of college an entire movie.

Jack Osbourne makes another appearance playing himself and he’s actually not that bad? Color me surprised.

Just when I thought Joey had gotten over her odd fashion choices she wears a velour bucket hat. I know it’s 2003 but like, that wasn’t in style anymore, right? Well it should’ve been.

ALERT: THE HAWAIIAN SHIRT IS BACK Y’ALL

Notable Quotes:

Pacey: Because that’s a part of growing up. Let me tell you, Pacey at 15 was a bit of a schmuck– bad haircut, bad Hawaiian shirts, broke all the time. Dumb enough to be chasing after things he knew he was never going to get, anyway.

Episode 12

What is Jen’s hair. And those bangs – are those even bangs good lord.

Audrey kissed and made up with everyone including her bandmates. Two things about British chippie: she’s old. And I was just thinking how completely unnecessary she is to this show. Whereas Gretchen was integral to advance multiple characters, this chick has no purpose.

Joey has taken up mentoring her professor’s daughter – a professor who is not Ken Marino. And why are they bringing in a new character halfway through the last season!?

Remember land lines in dorm rooms? No you don’t, children born after 1990.

Jo and Eddie are exchanging “I love yous” already? And if they really were from Massachusetts it would be ‘yous’. Too soon, guys. Toon soon.

Uh oh Audrey’s passed out in her bed. This is not a good sign. Intervention, anyone?

Episode 13

Audrey’s alive. And she’s heading to rehab. Except she’s not. Joey finds Audrey in Seth Rogen’s apartment taking a bath and think she’s dead and it’s hilar.

CLIFTON SMALLS IS JEWISH AND WANTS GRAMS TO CONVERT BAHAHAHAHA

There is a montage of their road trip and there’s a weird handheld camera going on it’s distracting.

Seth straight up stole Eddie’s car while it was attached to the gas pump. Look at your life. Look at your choices.

Oh god Joey and Eddie are breaking up and as they kiss and say goodbye the music playing in the background has the lyrics: “I only want the best for you my love” Get out.

Notable Quotes:

Bill: All right, lady, what’s your problem?

Grams: Excuse me?

Bill: Well, you’re a real downer. I mean, you’re sitting here, staring into your soup, and every once in a while, you mumble some derisive comment, when you should be going to see your doctor.

Grams: What are you talking about? Why should I go see my doctor?

Bill: So he can remove that polar icecap you got wedged up your butt.

Episode 14

So like at the end of the series, were the producers just like, ‘let’s make money any way we can/that includes setting a scene in Best Buy and promoting Bad Boys 2 on a big screen TV?

British chippie is engaged to a Deadbeat approx 2 eps after she was about to have a thing with Pacey. I hope this mean she leaves the show to run away with this low life.

Pacey/Jack/British chippie are having a party at their apartment and Pace encourages Jo to drink and let go for once in her life since she’s safe at his apartment *swoon*. So drunk Joey pinches Pacey’s cheeks and I CANNOT.

THERE ARE A LOT OF PACEY/JOEY SCENES AND THE FEELS ARE COMING BACK DESPITE THE GOATEE STILL GLARING INTO MY SOUL.

Dawson goes to visit Audrey in rehab and they have some super tender bonding moments and I hope they have more scenes together because they’re presh.

Oh dear lord they are NOT playing spin the bottle right now. And they are NOT putting it in a montage. Who keeps writing these in?! This particular one looks like the opening credits to a sitcom.

The inevitable happened and Pacey’s spin landed on Joey. But of course they get interrupted because Deadbeat somehow ended up on top of the giant TV and broke it. This would be a good time to head back to Best Buy for another product placement scene.

Jen just had sex in either Pacey/Jack/British chippie’s bed. I will never understand how people can just have sex at a party in someone else’s bed. Rude. And disgusting. And inappropriate.

…Well… Jack is offering to marry British chippie so she can stay in America. Come on. This can’t be happening.

Pacey Witter: still a dream man. He takes drunk Joey up to his room to tuck her in, confesses what Audrey said was true about not being over her back during her meltdown at a Capeside Christmas, he gives her the long awaited kiss and leaves. STOP BEING PERFECT BYE

Notable Quotes:

Drunk Joey: She killed a girl once.

CJ: What?

Drunk Joey: Abby Morgan. Killed her with champagne. You want some?

Episode 15

Aside: I have gone the entire 6 season series without watching the real opening credits with Paula Cole’s I Don’t Wanna Wait and I think I will wait until the end as to not ruin this experience for myself.

Pacey has to make a pit stop at K MART to buy condoms for the “no strings attached” sex he’s having with a blonde chick he just met at some fancy dinner where he took Joey as his date, but told this girl that Joey’s his sister. Let’s hope Joey doesn’t find out.

I would also like to point out that Katie Holmes’ acting has gotten sooo much better since season 1. Those acting lessons (I’m assuming she’s taken over the course of 6 years) have paid off. It’s not just an awkward side smile anymore!

Pacey to Joey on the homework she has due the next day: “You’re paying $35,000 to read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?” Sounds like Emerson. I paid more than that to write a final paper on the stereotypes of cast members in The Real World. Oh also a paper about The OC.

Ohhhh shit. It’s the conversation we’ve been waiting for since these two fools broke up. They can’t talk about sex. Specifically them having sex with other people. In all fairness, both of them have really good points. Pacey’s upset Joey never really got depressed like she did with Dawson when they broke up and Joey’s annoyed that Pacey won’t let all of this go (hint: it’s because he’s not over you, you crazy person).

Joey has taken out all the books from one of those discount bins and I seriously thought she was going to reorganize it. At least that’s what my OCD brain thought.

THERE IS A WALL OF PACEYS ON THE TVS I CANNOT. HE GOT HER PAJAMAS.

OMG I AM DYING. THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST I HAVE LAUGHED AT THIS SHOW. PACEY SAID HE OWED HER ONE FAVOR AND SHE BROUGHT HIM TO THE AISLE WITH THE RAZORS. DEAD. BYE GOATEE. BYEEEEEEE.

Pacey compared his goatee to a sports beard and his winning streak. I mean, nice try. SHE JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS FACE Y’ALL.

They are making shaving someone else seem entirely sexual and that’s a lot coming from someone who hates blood and the possibility of blood. But let’s be real, I’m so into this.

{Joey grabs two cans of shaving cream from the table}

Joey: Regular… or menthol?

Pacey: Are we smoking, or are we shaving?

Joey: Pacey Witter– friend to women. I think it’s better to go with sensitive skin.

Pacey kisses Joey after they get super close whilst she shaves off his goatee. She makes him express his feelings. They set up camp – lit’rally – and Joey’s all ‘I need time to think about you telling me you basically have never stopped loving me and always want to kiss me, but I’m gonna get into this sleeping bag and kiss you anyways and fall asleep together because when we were on that boat it was my dream that we’d be castaways on some deserted island because SHE OBVIOUSLY STILL LOVES HIM TOO

Everything that is happening in this episode is perfect.

Real talk: Is it weird that I retroactively have a massive crush on Joshua Jackson now?!??!?

Notable Quotes:

Pacey: So what is the secret to our long-lasting and angst-free friendship? What is the one thing that keeps it going year after year after year after year?

Joey: We suck at meeting new people.

Episode 16

Wait. Pacey’s apartment is directly across from the bar Joey works at? Totally missed that. Something I’m not missing: him creeping and looking longingly towards the bar thinking about one Josephine Potter.

I HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO A GIGGLING OH MY GOD JAPANESE GIRL WHEN THESE TWO ARE TOGETHER GET A FUCKING GRIP (that was directed towards myself. Like, really.)

OLIVER TRASK AS A BABY. I REPEAT CRAZY OLIVER TRASK FROM THE OC AS A BABY! He’s dating Joey’s professor’s teen daughter that Jo has taken to “babysitting”. Be careful Harley – he turns out to be a gun-wielding psycho in a couple years.

Pacey’s dad has something called an exaggerated arrhythmia and Pacey rushes back home to Capeside to be with his dad at the hospital. Meanwhile, Dawson is also back in Capeside talking to a film class back at Capeside High. Full circle moment for Dawson. And also for Pacey and Dawson, since Pacey goes to Dawson’s house to check on his mom – without knowing Dawson’s home too – and the BFFs are back together again.

Notable Quotes:

Joey leaving Pacey a voicemail: I’m not gonna look at you and think of what happened. I’m gonna look at you and think of what could.

Harley: Ugh! I hate you so much right now. I hate you with the burning passion of a thousand STDs.

Episode 17

There was a mystery girl Pacey almost hooked up with at his work party, and she shows up again, only for him to discover she is a reporter. But also IRL, she was recently on Chicago Fire and looks completely different. WTF.

Well, Grams is serving as a mediator to CJ (Jensen Ackles) and Jen regarding their sex life, and as you can imagine, it’s totally an awkward teepee.

Dawson’s back in LA realizing that making a movie in Hollywood is difficult, especially if you want to make a movie about innocent teenagers who don’t have sex. He tries to backtrack on a pitch he made to this movie exec, and eventually ends up standing up for himself and decides to not make a movie that is all about sex and not what he envisioned in the first place.

Dawson: I came in here the other day because I wanted to tell a story about… something small, something personal, something I’ve been… tryin’ to figure out for quite some time. I wanted to write about growing up… and why it’s so hard. And… I wanted to write about falling in love and why it can’t last, but at the same time, how it lasts forever. And somehow, that got twisted into a story about a stripper. I–I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is, I can’t do this. I appreciate the–the offer and the confidence… but… I just wouldn’t feel right taking your money.

Episode 18

Eddie came back because he is still in love with Joey and is a successful writer in LA – and he says he needs her for inspiration? What a lame excuse. Luckily she tells him she’s moved on so peace out Oliver. Make room for Pace.

Does CJ just live with Jen now? And grams broke up with Clifton then started dating CJ’s cranky old uncle? Where is Jack? Is he seriously married to the British chippie? The whole Pacey/Joey thing has made me so distracted from any other storyline happening on this show.

Joey agrees to be a chaperone at Harley’s school dance, and Pacey subsequently agrees to be her date. He even gives her a corsage with carrots and a radish? They make those? I find this incredibly hilarious and a good way to make up for their senior prom when he gave her dried out flowers.

GRAMS HAS BREAST CANCER. MY EMOTIONS.

And now joeys “breaking it off” with Pacey because Eddie, came back even though Pace just poured his heart out to her. Ughhh but, being the dream man that he is, has put aside his romantic feelings and came back to dance with her and walk away one last time booooooo

Joey goes back to Eddie. Okay really, did she love him this much? It seemed like a really fast and non-passionate relationship? Again – I’m incensed with Pacey blinders on, so her love for Eddie is totally possible.

Notable Quotes:

Pacey: Dawson! Hi! Welcome to the dream machine, my friend. Can you smell the money growing?

Dawson: Uh, if it smells like Drakar Noir, then yeah, big time.

Episode 19

I forgot someone told me Katie Holmes mentions Tom Cruise at some point during the series, but I have yet to see the scene slash there are only 6 episodes left so it’s probably happened already and I was too busy not paying attention to Tom and put all my focus on Pacey.

Hey Joshua Jackson directed this episode. Didn’t know he did that.

Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew are like the center of this Loveline-themed episode and Dr. Drew is actually an effortless actor?… Except this is probably one of the worst episodes of the entire series. I’ve checked out.

Episode 20

Pacey just reminded us he is 20 years old and working as a successful stock broker. When I was 20 I was getting lost in Europe and losing all my money, so really, Pacey, high school graduate, is livin the life.

Speaking of Europe – Eddie has convinced Joey to spend their summer in Europe. WILL SHE GO OR WILL SHE STAY?

This convo between Jo and Eddie: real talk.

Eddie: I’m not asking you to throw your life off course, Joey. I’m talking about a summer here. All I’m asking is that you take a leap. Come away with me.

Joey: Oh, like Saul Bellow or on the road? Eddie, those are just stories–poems. Little pieces of unreality that we’re not meant to base our lives on. Eventually we always have to come back and deal with the real world.

Eddie: So what? What are you gonna do? You just wanna sit here for your entire life waiting and hoping for the world to come to you? Because the point of those stories, Joey, is that people’s lives– their real lives– only begin when they step out into the world. And when you do that, when you meet it head on, maybe you change the world, maybe you don’t, but the point is, is that it changes you. And that is what people mean when they talk about growing up.

Joey: So what? If I want to be with you, I’m supposed to just throw all of my previous life experience out the window? I’m supposed to just stop being who I am?

Eddie: Who you are, Joey, is not some scared little girl who’s afraid to take a chances on anything, who’s afraid to really love someone because of the risk or the pain. That does not define you as a person. Or maybe it does, you know? Maybe–maybe I’m crazy. Maybe you’ve just blinded me.

Wait this bitch Pacey’s been sleeping with has a fiance?! WTF he seems really fine with it too? Come on you’re better than this, Pace.

Oh no. The company Dawson (and Pacey) put (all, in Dawson’s case) their money in went under. Pacey got into a physical fight with his boss because he told him this investment was a sure thing, subsequently got fired, only has $300 to his name and now has to tell his BFF that he has no money at all to make his movie. This is horrible. Just when they were getting on so swimmingly! And only 4 episodes left!!!!

Notable Quotes: 

Rich: Ooh, ah, hey… that date with Sadia last night– did you close the deal?

Pacey: Why don’t you just ask those guys in there?

Rich: Oh, that does it, Witter. I used to be mildly impressed. Now I am in awe. Nicely done my friend. Nicely done.

Pacey: You know, that’s just what she said. (FIRST THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID ON TV??!)

Episode 21

Mimi Rogers as Jen’s mother!? Okay let’s get out of Boston/Capeside for a second. Mimi Rodgers was Tom Cruise’s first wife… and was 10 years older than him… and well, you know the rest about Katie Holmes.

Okay Jack Osbourne has gotten so much screen time I had no idea he was even on this show.

Apparently CJ’s Uncle Bill ‘loves” Grams? this the 2nd episode he’s been in. Tone it down, buckaroo.

OMG Joey going up Dawson’s ladder is legit giving me the feels. I am tearing up. Glad I can go back to reality once I’m done watching this because I’ve lost all sense of it.

Oh lawd Pacey finally told Dawson about the money and Joey is there too and I legit feel like I’m going to vomit up the salad I just ate. It’s so sad that they keep up this viscous Circle of being BFF then not then BFF then not. And Joey is lit’rally in the middle of it.

Grams CUDDLING UP TO JACK TO CONVINCE HIM TO GO TO NY IS THE MOST PRESH

Important question: is Busy Phillips actually singing? Because she’s actually really good! (Answer: yes, per this recent video of her singing a song from The Last Five Years at a cabaret)

Notable Quotes:

Joey: That’s the thing about ghosts they say that they don’t leave until they’re at peace with what they’ve left undone.

Jen’s mom: Well, you and jack are both so attractive, and I don’t know what the gays look like these days.

Episode 22

Joey’s doing a weird voice over thing and suddenly it’s like Veronica Mars sans noir right now. Pacey and Jack move out of their apartment which leads me to wonder : where is British chippie because the last time we saw her, Jack was legit thinking of marrying her so she could stay in America?? She has legitimately not shown up since. BYE GURL.

Remember when Joey decided to start wearing makeup when she went to college? Yeah she’s back in Capeside and back to her old Joey ways sans makeup or any sense of style. Is this symbolic or just lack of continuity? I guess this episode is called “Joey Potter and the Capeside Redemption”, so we should expect this? Or for her to start a rock band. Either one.

Oh God. Pacey, you’re in shambles after losing your job and your best friend. There are crumbs stuck in your face. You actually called soap operas your “stories”. He’s also back in his Hawaiian shirt. This can’t be bueno.

So basically, Joey’s Capeside Redemption is her getting everyone in town to pitch in and help Dawson make the movie he was supposed to make with the money Pacey lost, including recruiting their friends to play the real life people from their past. It’s all very meta. Joey assigns Audrey the role of Miss Jacobs, but Jen suggests she play Eve, remember that pixie-haired chick from season 3?

Audrey: Wait a second. Let me get this straight. You want me to play the slutty teacher that–that robbed Pacey of his delicate flower?

Joey: Do you have a problem with that?

Jen: You could play Eve.

Joey: Sadly, Eve didn’t make the cut.

Jen: Aw, that’s a shame.

Audrey: Who the hell is Eve?

Jack: Eh, long story. Ambiguous ending.

Literally getting dizzy from this shot spinning around Jack, Grams and Jen while everyone says goodbye to them. And it’s so poetic that they’re leaving in a cab just like Jen rolled in. It would’ve been better if they got the same cab from s1. It’s probs illegal to drive in it by now.

Audrey and douche director Todd hook up. Yes. That makes sense. Not even being sarcastic

Joey: Me, too. So how would you describe your movie? If somebody asked you, what would you say?

Dawson: I would say… it’s about a girl who wanted more than what she had… who had to grow up to realize that she already had everything she ever could’ve wanted.

YES. BECAUSE THIS ISN’T DAWSON’S CREEK IT’S FUCKING JOEY’S CREEK.

Finally, some closure between Pacey and Dawson, whom Joey sneakily sets up thinking they’re each meeting her but they’re really there so they can kiss and make up.

Pacey: We can’t go back to the way things used to be, and there’s nothing we can do about that ’cause the guys that we are now are worlds apart from the guys that we were back then. The only tie that really binds us together is the fact that we still love the same woman.

Dawson: It always comes back to that, doesn’t it?

Pacey: Yes, it does. Yes, it does, and you know what? I don’t really regret a single second that I spent with her, and I’m guessing you don’t either. In fact, I really consider us pretty lucky… that a woman like that would give either one of us the time of day.

Dawson: You know, it makes sense.

Pacey: What does?

Dawson: Why it never worked out for either one of us. All we wanted was her. So much so that we destroyed our friendship… and in the end, all she ever wanted was for us to be friends again.

Pacey: Ok, I’m gonna ask you this once, and then I promise you I’ll never ask it again. Is it possible?

Dawson: For us to be friends again? Anything’s possible.

Ugh there’s a song playing in the background and the actual lyrics include the words “butterfly girl”.

In the end, Joey goes to Paris by herself and ends up in front of a green screen Eiffel Tower. However there are still two more episodes left. WILL JOEY POTTER COME BACK TO CAPESIDE/AMURRICA?!

Episode 23

Literally had to say, ‘okay let’s do this’ outloud in order to psych myself up to watch the final two episodes. I always do this – speed towards the end then stop because I don’t actually want it to end. It’s a CATCH 22 (which was the name of episode 20).

Another random celebrity cameo and it’s Jeremy Sisto. And my first thought was, ‘Oh from Six Feet Under!’ I think I actually might have time travelled back to 2003 for a brief moment.

Meta Dawson (10 years in the future, since that’s when this takes place?) is the executive producer on a Dawson’s Creek like show called The Creek – which is what I’m convinced this show should’ve been called because it’s not about Dawson, for the 100th time.

OMG I DON’T WANNA WAIT IS USED FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I ACTUALLY SAID ‘OMG’ OUT LOUD. THEY COULD FINALLY PAY FOR THE ROYALTIES FOR THE FINAL TWO EPISODES THIS IS A CAPESIDE CHRISTMAS MIRACLE wait it’s actually kinda weird bc I was anticipating Hearts and Arrows

Wait can Sheriff Doug and Jack get together???

OKAY FOR THE RECORD I WROTE THAT BEFORE THIS KISS HAPPENED. I LOVE THIS EP ALREADY WE’RE ONLY 7 minutes in and I keep pausing bc I CANNOT

Oh Pacey. Having an affair with an older woman in the office of his restaurant AKA THE ICE HOUSE BECAUSE PACEY REOPENED THE BUSINESS JOEY’S FAM USED TO OWN.

Going back to his teacher/student ways. And Jack is a teacher at CHS who’s teaching his class about poetry – THE SAME TYPE OF POETRY THAT GOT HIM/PACEY INTO TROUBLE S2 I LOVE FULL CIRCLE MOMENTS SO MUCH.

Everyone’s back in town because Gail is getting married again. But who is this random that she’s marrying? He doesn’t even have a name! And why is Alexander not aged in 10 years, but Dawson’s little sister is so big and presh?

JEN HAS A BABY OH NOOOOO Her boyfriend apparently knocked her up and left. What a piece of garbage (him, not her, obvs).

For old time’s sake, Joey climbs up the ladder to Dawson’s bedroom and Dawson picks up his computer in order to attack the ‘attacker’. Never a manly man this one.

Welp. Pacey is getting beat up by grown ass man for sleeping with his wife. That’s what you get folks, for making whoopee.

JOEY AND DAWSON ARE SITTING IN HIS CHILDHOOD BED LISTENING TO EDWIN MCCAIN HAHAHAA

There’s a dream wedding sequence that throws me for a loop because it’s between Dawson and Joey, and their vows sound like this:

Joey: We’ve been through so much, Dawson. So many good times and bad. When I loved you, you loved Jen. And when you loved me, I needed to be on my own. So I left you for Jack, and then he realized he was gay.

Dawson: And then I convinced you to turn your dad in for trafficking cocaine, and…you said you’d never speak to me again.

Joey: But I did. I offered myself to you at that party after you crashed your dad’s boat.

Dawson: And I refused… for some reason. And so you fell for Pacey.

Joey: And years passed… until finally here we are… saying, “I do.” The way it should be… the only way it can be for star-crossed, ill-fated soul mates. So, I do.

Dawson: I do, too.

HONESTLY THIS SHOW WAS SO RIDICULOUS. But those Dawson Joey shippers must have loved this scene, which actually turned out to be a fake scene the characters were filming for The Creek.

The older woman Pacey’s been sleeping with, played by Virginia Madsen, eyes Pacey enjoying himself  at the wedding reception, and Pacey, battered and bruised since her husband beat her up, tells Joey to play along and dance with him but Virginia Madsen is all giving him the evil eye. Like, calm da fuck down. To pile it on, Pace even kisses Joey to make her jealous. Well, it worked.

Ahhhh Jen collapsed at the wedding. This is bad (I know what happens which might actually be worse. This is why I don’t like spoilers.) Turns out Jen has been battling this heart problem for a while but decided not to tell anyone.

JEN AND JACK – DID I SAY I MIGHT SHIP THEM THE MOST? Or at least almost as much as Pacey and Joey? Ugh seeing them go through this is heartbreaking. No pun intended. Jack, rightfully so, wants to know why Jen, his bestest friend in the entire world, didn’t tell him about her health problems, but all she wants to do is not talk about it and talk about possible love interests for him, but even Jack isn’t up to engage in what he calls “patented, meaningless, good-humored Jack-Jen fag-hag banter”. Gonna miss these two.

Okay, in my whole ‘procrastinating/not wanting to see the finale shenans’ I watched the episode of Don’t Trust the B- where James Van Der Beek attempts to get a Dawson’s Creek reunion episode and the only person who shows up is Busy Phillips. If you’ve gotten this far in my ramblings, you should watch it – it’s on Netflix!

Notable Quotes:

Joey: Get over it. What is the big deal? So I like a teen soap. So what?

Christopher: The way it possesses you is what frightens me, honestly. Every Wednesday at 8:00, you enter this supernatural portal of teen angst.

Joey: I have an emotional connection to it you wouldn’t understand.

Christopher: Will Sam and Colby ever get together? Will Sam choose Petey? Will Sam choose Colby? Find out next week as we continue to beat a dead dog all the way into syndication!

***

Gale: Ah! You’re here! Yay! Oh, look at you. You get handsome every time I see you.

Dawson: Mom, I look terrible. I’ve aged 10 years in the past 9 months.

***

{Pacey’s driving with Joey & Dawson to the hospital after Jen collapses}

Joey: I’m worried. This isn’t good.

Dawson: She’s gonna be fine. Right? I mean, we don’t know anything. Let’s not jump to conclusions.

Pacey: Yeah. And she’s young. She’s healthy.

Dawson: Best thing we can do is just be ourselves– carry on in our typical, usual, distracting…

Pacey: Sordid love triangle ways.

Dawson: Leave it up to you to say the most inappropriate thing possible.

Pacey: Aw, I’m always dependable, my friend.

Joey: So very not funny. {her cell phone rings} Hi, Christopher.

Dawson: And the triangle becomes a square.

Pacey: Well put.

***

Jack: Hey, what’s up with Audrey, anyway? Anybody talk to her lately?

Joey: Audrey’s singing backup for John Mayer. She’s touring Europe, and she’s got some boyfriend she calls the anti-Pacey. He’s totally boring and… really sweet or something.

Pacey: And “really sweet,” as opposed to the actual Pacey? And that from my ex-girlfriend, no less.

Joey: Pacey…thank you so much for reopening this place. I did not know how much I missed it.

Pacey: Maybe if your daddy hadn’t burned it down in the first place, it’d still be yours

Joey: Ohh, nice, Pacey. Nice.

Dawson: I couldn’t write this stuff if I tried.

Joey: How long has it been?

Pacey: Not long enough, apparently.

Jen: Oh Dawson… remember when I de-virginized you?

Pacey: What?!

Episode 24

Alright guys. Here we are. Last episode. Like, forever. I’m not emotionally prepared for this, but then again, are you really ever prepared when it comes to series finales?

Again I know what happens to Jen, but how did you people deal with not knowing if she’s going to die or not?? I mean it’s like, as a TV fan you want to believe they won’t kill off a main character because how could they? Even if it is the series finale and all.

It’s really unfortunate that Joshua Jackson has to have stitches and a black eye for the finale.

I really shouldn’t be allowed to watch shows like this because this food fight scene with Pacey and Joey is making me squeal. Literally squeal like a teenager in the nosebleeds seats at a One Direction concert.

Jen has some one on one girl time with Joey and she tells her that her dying wish is for her to stop running (aka stop running from Pacey). JEN IS SO WISE BEYOND HER YEARS THIS ISN’T FAIR.

Jen asks Dawson to videotape her leaving a final life lesson video for her daughter. I’M NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING.

Annddd Pacey is showing Jen B-roll of the footage they shot for the season one opening credits. Is this meta or am I making it meta?And I just realized Jen’s parents aren’t here. I mean they probably couldn’t fit them into the budget but still.

Just remembered that Meredith Monroe shot a scene that got cut and she looks amazing. And is a doctor in Boston?? The video below includes her cut scenes, but also the scenes where Jack calls Jen his soulmate (STOPPP) and Grams says her final goodbye by saying, “See you soon, child. Soon” (NOOOOO)

Jack and Dougie, finally out and proud, are so friggin tender I cannot. AND Jack basically adopts his goddaughter (Amy) once Jen passes away and they have an adorable little family!!!!

More full circle moments as Dawson and Joey have a heart to heart discussion at his house. Really, the will they or won’t they is right up until the end, isn’t it?

Look, as much as I ship Pacey and Joey, Dawson has in this final talk with Joey in that they’ll always have each other as soulmates and be together forever in this place beyond friends and lovers. Sometimes your soulmate isn’t necessarily who you’re meant to live your romantic life with. Which is perfect because Joey fulfills Jen’s dying wish and tells Pacey she wants to stop running, and essentially be with him. Pacey apparently leaves his restaurant behind and moves to NYC to be with Joey in her swanky apartment, which Jeremy Sisto has since vacated. The reveal is nail-biting as they don’t show Pacey as the guy Joey’s with til the very end. And he’s crying. Oh sensitive Pacey Witter I will miss you.

OMG fake Joey on The Creek just used the ‘I don’t wanna wait’ line! Just when you think it’s getting good.

Notable Quotes:

Dawson: She’s dying. Jo, she’s gonna die, and all I can think about is some frickin’ ending to some stupid TV show. I keep thinking there’s gonna be time for the rest of it, but it–it–it runs out.

Joey: Yes, it does.

Dawson: Nothing in my life feels real anymore. I’ve lost touch with my family, my friends, you… and you and me together is the only thing that ever made sense to me, and I forgot that… until I saw you, and then it came back, what we were, and we’re not even together.

Joey: Do you not watch the Creek? We’re together every Wednesday at 8:00. Dawson, you wrote a show about us.

Dawson: And that’s the problem. I’ve turned my entire life into fiction. It’s not even real life that I’m living anymore.

Joey: It is real, in the best way possible. Dawson, do you know how lucky you are? You’re a writer. You get to live life twice. Who else can do that?

***

Guys, it’s over. It’s been a great six months getting to watch this iconic piece of American teen drama from the beginning for the very first time. In the end, I’m glad I watched it, and it was definitely worth spending almost 90 hours of my life dedicated to the gang from Capeside. I can see why it’s considered one of the best examples of this genre, and despite the fact that there are undoubtedly problems riddled throughout the series, at its core, it is a fairly accurate portrayal (somewhat exaggerated at times) of life as a teenager. I mean, it’s no John Hughes, but it’s definitely a program that will go down in teen TV drama history.

ALSO: PACEY-CON GUYS. PACEY-CON.

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• The Dawson’s Creek Virgin Diaries: Season 2
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• The Dawson’s Creek Virgin Diaries: Season 5
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