Saturday Spotlight: We’re All Adults Here

We started college a full decade ago. Prince George, who was born like 30 seconds ago, is going to be a big brother. Nick Carter is a grown-ass man with a reality show. We understand concepts like net neutrality, and don’t understand the stuff the kids are sporting at fashion week. Good heavens. It happened. We’re adults.

Catch the posts that led to that conclusion under the cut:

Orientation Express: Revisiting College Move-In Day 10 Years Later

The rest of orientation week was filled with icebreaker games (THE ABSOLUTE WORST) at this event called Hooray!, a guy nicknamed the “Dating Doctor” who talked about dating and sex, and as a girl coming from a Catholic education for all the previous years of my life, this was quite a change. There was a boat cruise, an epic dance where all the OLs dressed up in various costumes and busted moves along to popular songs of 2004 (similar to this, but imagine it being 10 years ago), and this 1980s safety video for everyone that had never lived in a city before. Honestly, they showed this, and in my opinion, it’s the greatest tradition our college has. A Bahston cop, dramatic reenactments, horrible acting, I mean, really.

“ATMs: probably the greatest invention ever to exist.”

In the end, Orientation week was a good way to transition into college life and not feel so scared about the daunting task of “being in college”. So for you freshman out there who still feel scared or uneasy about your new life, just know that the next four (or five or eight+, depending on the interest in furthering your education or level of long-term commitment)  years of your life will be some of the greatest you’ll ever have. You’ll make lifelong friends, you’ll learn things about yourself, about others, about LIFE. Just enjoy yourself. If those crazy OLs can let go of their inhibitions and wear tutus and banana costumes on the streets of Boston, you can make it through your freshman year.


The New Royal Baby Is MAGIC

The new royal baby is going to fix this whole Scotland thing.

Scotland’s trying to be like Pacey in that one episode of Dawson’s Creek I guess?

Next week Scotland will vote on its independence, and I’m not saying that this royal baby announcement is England’s Hail Mary pass to keep Scotland in the Empire, but I’m also not not saying that. You know how sometimes a couple will have a baby trying to fix a failing marriage? Well, what better way to fix a possibly failing national union? How could Scotland possibly vote to leave when there will be a new royal baby to take care of in fewer than nine months? Makes no sense. This royal baby is going to result in literally trillions of galleons staying in the United Kingdom, keeping the international economy stable for generations to come.

 

It is galleons, right?


Things I’ve Learned From Heart-ing Nick Carter

Lauren’s BFF is A Girl Who Got Screwed Over by a Boy Bander…?

Lauren has a heart to heart with her best friend named Natalia, who, as Lauren says, she met when their boyfriends were on tour together years ago, and they became BFFs. But Natalia’s unnamed boyfriend broke up with her after five years and it ended horribly. He even took all the money out of their joint account, and that’s exactly what Lauren is afraid will happen to her. After some research, it seems as if Natalia is the ex-girlfriend of newly married (always shirtless) New Kids on the Block bad boy Donnie Wahlberg. He obvs kept it on the low for five years, but yikes!


Net Neutrality, As Explained In Gifs

Internet speed is largely in the hands of internet service providers (ISPs), mega-conglomerates who are probably full of just lovely people (I have to say that, because they’re in charge of how fast our site runs).

You may have a personal customer service vendetta with any one of these providers, such as AT&T or Comcast.

Under a proposed F.C.C. rule, ISPs would be able to compel companies like Google to pay extra to get “preferential treatment.” The result is that websites and companies that have the big bucks will run on the speedy, smooth internet superhighway we’ve all come to know and love. And the underdogs will be like:

In this scenario the obese cat is, say, Comcast, regular ‘net users are the folks stuck in the traffic jam, and mega-sites like Netflix are that one A-hole zipping through the lanes on a motorcycle. Or, more accurately, flying above all of this in a private jet, although to bypass the traffic they have to, you know, pay for that private jet.


Questionable Outfits At New York Fashion Week

Rihanna at Alexander Wang

Are bucket hats back in? Are these poncho/rain slickers back in too? Are we secretly looking at the first image of RiRi in a Missy Elliott video? WHAT YEAR IS IT, PEOPLE??

Ciara at Polo Ralph Lauren

But Ciara doesn’t actually have her name embroidered on the back of her shirt, does she? Like she thinks she’s been out of the game that long? Maybe if she puts her Members Only jacket back on it will be better. No. Probs not.

 

 

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