ICYMI: Royal Bump Watch 2014

Princess Catherine is preggo, y’all!!! We’re super excited for it like any good American, but we’re already a little biased – no disrespect Prince George – but we may have already picked a favorite royal baby.

The New Royal Baby Is MAGIC

Wow, what a bummer summer that was. It was a three-month crap festival: Ebola and Ferguson and Robin Williams and ISIS and Joan Rivers and shootings and Supreme Court and Beyonce/Jay-Z breakup rumors and bad movies and sort of cruddy weather. But summer’s over now, and not a moment too soon. Not only can you buy any food or beverage infused with pumpkin spice, and start wearing sweaters, and go from 8am to 3 pm without having to see a single child between the ages of 5 and 18, even the news is better! The positivity pepping up your CNN homepage?  Duchess Catherine of Cambridge is pregnant! Summer’s over, fall is here, and I’m so sick of bad news that I’ve decided that the new royal baby is magic.

The new royal baby is going to fix this whole Scotland thing.

Scotland’s trying to be like Pacey in that one episode of Dawson’s Creek I guess?

Next week Scotland will vote on its independence, and I’m not saying that this royal baby announcement is England’s Hail Mary pass to keep Scotland in the Empire, but I’m also not not saying that. You know how sometimes a couple will have a baby trying to fix a failing marriage? Well, what better way to fix a possibly failing national union? How could Scotland possibly vote to leave when there will be a new royal baby to take care of in fewer than nine months? Makes no sense. This royal baby is going to result in literally trillions of galleons staying in the United Kingdom, keeping the international economy stable for generations to come.

It is galleons, right?

Prince George? Not that great.

I find that a lot of people claim that they “can’t even” when honestly, they could if they really wanted to. This is especially true when people squeal over Prince George, the old royal baby. Everybody knows that the main reason parents have a second child is because the first one was disappointing. And honestly, Will and Kate could do better than Prince George. Sure, he’s totally adorable. He’s absurdly well-dressed. He seems smart, for a baby. Fine, he is more or less flawless.  But just look at this non-royal stuff he tries to pull:

This is why royals always have an heir and a spare. Because sometimes the heir is squirmy as hell. It’s about time Will and Kate try for another baby – this time, maybe one that’s not always flailing and stuff.

The New Royal Baby might be a girl baby.

This Swedish princess, guys.

The only way to make a boy baby’s outfits look cute is to dress him like he has a job. If you put him in a sailor suit or a farmer’s overalls, that’s cute –  or a little dark suit like he has a meeting, or a tweed blazer like a little professor, or distressed jeans like the world’s tiniest hip megachurch pastor – but other than that boy clothes don’t really offer much.  But there’s a 50/50 chance the New Royal Baby will be a girl baby, and those outfits are going to be cute. We’ve done a whole post on the fashions of lesser baby princesses, but this baby will be outfitted with all of that Scotland money. And possibly Scottish clothes. A little plaid kilt? We really will be unable to even.


One thing everyone can look forward to is how the lovely Kate will be dressing her bump this time around. She’s the epitome of class and sass, and if I ever get pregnant with a royal baby, I want to look like her.

Fierce Royal Baby Bump is Fierce

IDK if you guys are aware or not, but we are on official royal baby watch!! At this very second, dozens of reporters are camped out in front of St. Mary’s hospital waiting for the first glimpse of the next heir. Funny story: a new report says they might be at the wrong hospital and Kate and Wills are going to a different one across town. Kind of hope this is true.

To preface, when Prince William and the Dutchess of Cambridge tied the knot two years ago, at first I couldn’t care less. But then I found myself watching it go down live at like 2am, and I legit couldn’t stop watching. I was so entranced by their love, Kate’s beauty, the official-ness of it all. It was fascinating to me.

I guess I didn’t realize that Kate was a normal girl who happened to fall in love with a future king – and is also gorgeous and flawless and can do no wrong. Ever since, I’ve kept an eye on the two. Especially Kate and her wardrobe choices. She always manages to stay classy yet fresh, royal yet modern, all while infusing her own personal taste. And that’s what made her one of the best dressed pregnant Dutchesses ladies in the land. So while we eagerly anticipate to find out if it’s boys or girls who’ll run the world, here are some of her best looks from over the past nine months.

January 11, 2013 – It’s obviously early on in her pregnancy, and while she still looks like she’s werking that Dukan Diet, she looks great in this crimson Whistles Sophie Rae dress and Episode black heels.

February 19 – There are very few people who can pull off the wrap dress look. Besides Lorelai Gilmore in DVF, Kate looks stunning in this MaxMara dress.

March 5 – Looking delightful in chocolate brown, both the Hobbs Celeste coat and Great Plains floral dress sold out under AN HOUR after she was seen in this outfit!

March 15 –  Odds are that no other young royal has ever work boots quite like the Dutchess. She may be wearing borderline fishnets, but the rest of her ensemble prove she knows how to keep it classy for a public event. Kate’s sporting a Joseph coat, Lock & Co Betty Boop hat, Stuart Weitzman Zipkin boots, Emmy Natasha clutch bag, and Cornelia James wool bow gloves.

March 17 – How cute is this look for St. Patrick’s Day?! I feel like this is the first real time we saw her bump, and  what a great reveal it was. For next St. Paddy’s Day, grab an Emilia Wickstead dress coat for St Patrick’s Day with a hat by Sylvia Fletcher for Lock & Co.

March 22 – What else makes a royal more down to earth than ‘normal’ people clothes?! Hat, leggings, and wellies? The second People’s Princess, y’all.

April 5 – Again with the fierce boots. Love these black suede Aquatella ‘Hi and Dry’ boots, especially paired with the scarlet Armani coat.

April 26 – This is for sure my absolute favorite outfit Kate has worn during her pregnancy. The fun and flirty Topshop polka dot dress was matched with a Ralph Lauren jacket. I legit tried to find this dress hours after these photos were taken, and it was already sold out. The Kate Effect is real. To make this particular scene ever better, she, Wills, and third wheel Prince Harry were visiting the Harry Potter Studios in London.

i mean can you even ❤

April 29 – Peachy Keen, jelly bean. How glowing does she look in this outfit!?

May 22 – Continuing her streak of Emilia Wickstead Marella coats, the Dutchess looked striking in sunshine yellow and a Jane Corbett hat. Really tho, not a lot of people can pull those hats off.

June 4 – I feel like a designer like Jenny Packham was made for the Dutchess, and this lace dress is a perfect example. She paired it with a perfect light peach coat that doesn’t cover up the bump too much. And see what I mean about the hat??

June 4 – I think seeing royals out in the wild wearing normal people clothes excites the commonfolk in all of us, but to make it even better, she’s wearing an Asos dress that costs approximately $34. Plus she knows how to color block like a pro.

June 13 – Kate went out with a bang for her final public appearance until the royal baby is born, donning a saucy animal print Hobbs coat and an edgy ‘facsinator’. Can’t wait to see what she puts the baby in!


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