Saturday Spotlight: There Are Things Aretha Franklin Can’t Do

We’ll admit it, we didn’t LOVE Aretha’s rendition of Rolling In The Deep (although we did respect it – and yes, I did just spell it). Hey, even Aretha can’t do everything. By my counts, she also missed out on marrying Former Bachelor George Clooney, guest starring on Gilmore Girls (even though everyone else did, practically), and getting invited to Ello. Or maybe she did get invited to Ello. We’re still not clear on what it is.

Bottoms Up: Our Favorite TV Baristas

Gunther, Friends

Gunther – full name Gunther Centralperk? – is a barista with “hair as bright as the sun” who did not father Rachel’s child (“that hair on a baby?”). He was full of hope – an aspiring actor who once appeared on All My Children, chronically enamored with Rachel, and ever expectant that he’d be let into the Friends clique. Ah, Gunther. You may not have been part of the primary crew, but you did something even more important: provided laughter, coffee, and – briefly – employment to the people we really cared about. Fun fact: James Michael Tyler was a real barista who earned his role, in part, due to his ability to operate an espresso machine.

Luke Danes, Gilmore Girls

At Luke’s diner, coffee was made with love – years and years of unrequited love – and served with a little bit of judgment. But as much as Luke scoffed at the Lorelais caffeine habit, he knew that it was important and was always ready with a mug of coffee and a tousled baseball cap. October 1, guys. We’re almost there.


Unpopular Opinions: Aretha Franklin Only Made Me Want Adele Back

Soul diva Aretha Franklin has a new album coming out called ‘Aretha Franklin Takes on the Great Diva Classics’, and if you haven’t figured out the theme of the record by now, it’s basically her covering songs by other divas. Yesterday, her cover of Adele’s Rolling in the Deep was released online, and it sounds a little something like this.

Now, I’m not sure if it’s because I’m on drugs as I’m nursing a cold right now, but I do not like this version. I even listened to it twice you guys, and I still felt the same way about it. Is it the fact that a brilliant singer like Aretha used autotune on a track? Maybe. Is it because she over-dramatizes the phrase ‘rolling in the deeEEEEEEEEP’? Probs (you should hear me trying to imitate her singing right now). Is it because the Adele version is so perfect that it’s hard to top, even if you’re Aretha Franklin? Obvs.


How To Talk To Your Mom About George Clooney’s Wedding

This past weekend, George Clooney – world’s most eligible bachelor – became just another married guy. How’s your mom doing with that news?

Seriously, you should call your mother.

There are several defining moments that broke the hearts and dashed the romantic expectations of baby boomer women: the death of JFK – nay, Camelot itself. The Beatles’ shaggy phase. Charles and Diana’s divorce. Now this: the man your mom is probably obsessed with is off the market. Yes, you should call her. But we don’t think you should go into this blind. Here’s all the prep you need.

Understand The Alternatives

Your mother may express dismay that Clooney did not wed one of his past loves. However, Clooney often dated less-famous gals, so you should also be prepared for your mother to mourn George’s failure to end up with single famous ladies who she likes. This is normal. If your mother laments that George should have married “Sandy,” “Jen,” “Meg,” or “Julie,”  just know that she means Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, Meg Ryan, or Julia Roberts/ Julianna Margulies. Matchmaker to the stars, that mom of yours.


Ello, Goodbye: Remembering Social Media Networks of the Past

MySpace

In Tom’s defense, MySpace was a big networking site for a long time. I admit, even I spent a little too long deciding what the theme to my profile page should be and who my top 8 were. But to me, MySpace always had a skeezy quality to it – like a prime breeding ground for Catfish. Not to mention the whole getting bombarded by singers and bands you didn’t know. Unfortunately for Tom, Mark Zuckerberg came along and stole all his thunder. Now MySpace is owned partly by Justin Timberlake and mostly used for what it always has been popular for – music.


 

Whatareyoudoinghere: Unexpected Guest Stars of Gilmore Girls

Madeleine Albright (Season 6, Episode 7)

Look. If you’re trying to get someone on board with Gilmore Girls, just try the following phrase: “dream sequence with Madeleine Albright.” I’ve seen the episode, but still don’t quite understand why or how this happened.

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