#LifetimeBeLike : Recasting 90s R&B Stars

If you were a teenager in the early 2000s, you probably knew at least one girl who took Aaliyah’s untimely death really hard.

After Saturday’s Lifetime biopic/crap festival/ snooze jamboree Aaliyah: Princess Of R&B, you should probably reach out and check on her.

Aaliyah fangirls aside (and aren’t we all, at least a little bit?), we all sort of love when Lifetime movies are awful. That’s why we live blog them so often. The Aaliyah movie was terrible – of course it was – but something good did come out of it: the Twitter reaction, specifically the #LifetimeBeLike hashtag.

Here are a few of our own takes on Lifetime’s attempts to cast 90s R&B artists:

Many Tonies, Much Excitement: The Tony! Toni! Tone! Story

Lifetime casting: Mary Mary

Lifetime’s reasoning: We thought that’s who that was?

Salt N Pepa: Pushin’ It Real Good: A Lady Of Danger Story

Lifetime casting: Tia and Tamera Mowry

Lifetime’s reasoning: We’re pretty sure they’re twins. Also nobody told us about Spinderella. Does that mean we have to rewrite the movie?

U.N.I.T.-ed We Stand: All Hail The Queen… Latifah

Lifetime casting: Grumpy Cat

Lifetime’s reasoning: Accidentally signed 3-picture deal with Grumpy Cat. Look for Nighttime Terror, Daytime Running Lights: Scandal In The Suburbs starring Grumpy Cat, debuting in May 2015!

The Boy Is Mine: The Brandy And Monica Story: A Moment Of Forever Movie

Lifetime casting: Loretta Devine (Brandy), that cute little girl from blackish (Monica)

 Lifetime’s reasoning:Under threat of lawsuit from the Norwood camp, this movie must bear no resemblance to persons living or dead. Brandy and Monica are now grandmother and granddaughter. Eh… close enough?

Mya: Reaching For The Stars

Lifetime casting: M.I.A.

Lifetime’s reasoning: Come on. We’re doing the best we can.

Lil Kim, Big Dreams

Lifetime casting: Latoya Jackson

Lifetime’s reasoning: We were casting Kim’s 2014 face.

The Ginuwine Article: A Pony Ride To Remember

Lifetime’s casting: Michael Strahan

Lifetime’s reasoning: appealing to Lifetime’s original baby boomer lady demographic

The Fugees Story: I Heard They Sang A Good Song

Lifetime casting: “Deb from accounting” (Lauryn Hill), “my cousin Erik who’s a really good singer” (Wyclef), and Pras Michel as himself.

Lifetime’s reasoning: Spent whole budget on Pras.

Believing, Life, Achieving, Quest, Unity, Everything: Blaque, A Life In Acronyms

Lifetime casting: En Vogue

Lifetime’s reasoning: We expect increased demand for En Vogue after airing An En Vogue Christmas

Boyz II Men: Doin’ A Little East Coast Fling: A Concert Experience

Lifetime casting: Blackstreet

Lifetime’s reasoning: this is a song-for-song recreation of a 1992 Boyz II Men concert in Newark, New Jersey. But with Boyz II Men played by Blackstreet. Because even in 2014, everybody knows that Blackstreet is just a poor man’s Boyz II Men.

 

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2 thoughts on “#LifetimeBeLike : Recasting 90s R&B Stars

  1. Pingback: Saturday Spotlight: Sometimes You’re The Capitol, Sometimes You’re District 12 | cookies + sangria

  2. Pingback: Foxy Brown – Gotta Get You Home (Feat. Blackstreet) |@Blackstreet_Ent #TBT | Paparazzii Ready

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