Saturday Spotlight: Sometimes You’re The Capitol, Sometimes You’re District 12

With Mockingjay out this week, we have Panem on the brain. Did you ever notice that you can categorize just about every real-life person, place or thing by district? Solange Knowles and her pristine wedding fashion, for instance: capitol. Will Smith’s kiddos: one of those wealthy districts that’s living the easy life. Ramen donuts: those belong in one of the garbage districts, for sure.

Solange Wore A Cape To Her Wedding And We Can All Stop Trying

Solange Knowles – sister to Bey, aunt to Blue Ivy, daughter to Tina, kicker to Jay Z – tied the knot to music video director Alan Ferguson yesterday in New Orleans. Because nothing is private, pretty much their entire weekend was documented, including the happy couple rolling up to the wedding venue in style on white bicycles.

Unlike her sister, Solange decided to share her big day with us peons, releasing exclusive photos to Vogue of her and her bridesmaids (yes, including Queen B & Miss Tina & a very happy Janelle Monae) of her all-white wedding that would make Billy Idol proud. I have so many things to say about this but I don’t think it would be appropriate for the entire post to consist of emojis that look like this:IMG_1009.JPG


#LifetimeBeLike : Recasting 90s R&B Stars

If you were a teenager in the early 2000s, you probably knew at least one girl who took Aaliyah’s untimely death really hard.

After Saturday’s Lifetime biopic/crap festival/ snooze jamboree Aaliyah: Princess Of R&B, you should probably reach out and check on her.

Aaliyah fangirls aside (and aren’t we all, at least a little bit?), we all sort of love when Lifetime movies are awful. That’s why we live blog them so often. The Aaliyah movie was terrible – of course it was – but something good did come out of it: the Twitter reaction, specifically the #LifetimeBeLike hashtag.

Here are a few of our own takes on Lifetime’s attempts to cast 90s R&B artists:

Many Tonies, Much Excitement: The Tony! Toni! Tone! Story
Lifetime casting: Mary Mary

Lifetime’s reasoning: We thought that’s who that was?

Salt N Pepa: Pushin’ It Real Good: A Lady Of Danger Story
Lifetime casting: Tia and Tamera Mowry

Lifetime’s reasoning: We’re pretty sure they’re twins. Also nobody told us about Spinderella. Does that mean we have to rewrite the movie?


Ramen Donuts: WE HAVE TO GO BACK

Last week, I came across an article which featured someone’s experiment of combining ramen with a donut and this is what it looks like:

Now, I’m all for creativity and innovativeness, but the first thing that came to my mind when I saw this was WE HAVE GONE TO FAR. Were regular donuts not enough for us? I don’t know about you, but donuts are just fine as they are. I mean, the fact that there are donuts out there topped with bacon and cinnamon toast crunch and snickers bars is, like, pushing it, but still, they’re donuts. They’re delicious. Do we need to improve on it with ramen? RAMEN. In its defense, I have no idea if these ramen donuts are good or not, but to me, they don’t look appetizing at all. And I blame the cronut (which I do find appetizing).

Chef Dominique Ansel may not have started this hybrid craze, but he certainly brought it back to the zeitgeist thanks to his flaky croissant-donut. Fact: when Molly & I went to NYC in September, we failed to realize that cronuts are still a thing and got to Dominique Ansel’s bakery too late and they were sold out. Still got good food there, so I suggest stopping by. Anyways, experimenting with hybrid food is like what Glee did with song mashups and now I fear that we’ve gone too far (just like Glee’s sixth season). Look, I’m all for letting your creative juices flow, but maybe things like ramen donuts are a one and done thing. Here are some other hybrid foods people from the internet and businesses alike have conjured up. You decide if we need to go back or not…

Spicy Tuna Sushi Corn Dog

In full disclosure, the ramen donut was made by a blogger who is a bro. Like a college athlete, hates hipsters, drinks excessively at frat parties bro. But his blog is like, actually really good and his food presentation is fantastic. So props to him. His thing is creating hybrid foods (that are usually not the healthiest). Enter this giant fried sushi roll. The fact that he calls it a corn dog turns me off. Basically I just want that spicy tuna roll.


Quotes From Jaden & Willow Smith’s Crazy Interview – Reimagined As Tumblr Cliches

1) Quote in sans serif font superimposed over a picture taken by a space telescope:

2) Quote in shaky hand-lettering of varying sizes and styles:

 


Capitol Couture: Real or Not Real?

Sometimes, I wake up in the morning and imagine myself as one of Panem’s glittering skyscrapers—and dress accordingly. I totter on my eight-inch Lucite heels and refresh my chrome-flecked lip gloss every hour on the hour. In the Capitol, fashion is a chance to role-play as animals or architecture, to assume grand proportions in outlandish silhouettes and even to express a tendency to unravel. {designs by Thom Browne}

“If jewelry isn’t your thing, take a cue from our suave Victor Peeta Mellark and incorporate those metallic elements elsewhere, like a sculptural gold pocket square.”

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