As we were drawing up our character bios for into the woods, we especially loved the Baker’s Wife, who – as we all know – “needs that shoe to have a child”:
Talents: grocery shopping without a written list
Non-talents: Staying near her damn cow
Personal gripe: Direct quote: “I have lived in my town for 15 damn years and nobody has even bothered to ask what my name is.” [It’s Wendy. No. Was it Stacy? Crystal. Probably. Wait… Lisa, maybe?]
Secret hobby: One-upping all of the other ladies on her infertility/ pregnancy planning message board. “Oh, that’s cute about your tilted uterus and IVF. I had a witch’s curse, and first we tried a cow as white as milk…” She seems sweet, but make no mistake: those broads hate her.
But after watching the Golden Globes, we felt like we were the ones who needed the shoes. And the gowns. And the gloves. Nicely dressed, (almost) everybody!
Amal Clooney in Dior
Diane Kruger in Emilia Wickstead
Honestly, though, the shoes we’ve been wearing the most have probably been sneakers, because we’re also more than a little hooked on our Fitbits.
This year, the biggest change in my life status has been a Fitbit. It’s like having a baby. Hear me out. It alters the way you go about your daily business, and you have so much to say about it, but unless you’re talking to someone else who has one, you assume they either can’t really understand or don’t really care. When someone would say “so, what’s new with you?” with that doofy grin, what I really wanted to say was “I have a Fitbit now! And…” And here are all the things that would come after that “and,” if I were being completely honest:
Sleep isn’t just sleep. If you asked me before Fitbit, I’d have told you that I probably got a solid 8 hours of sleep a night. Now I can tell you that I’m restless 16 times a night, like this:
One of the best things about movies is getting to walk in someone else’s shoes for a few hours. And with this year’s Best Picture nominees, we are all getting a chance to walk around in whatever shoes it is that white men wear (Reeboks maybe. Or Bass.)
Is Anyone I’ve Heard Of In It?: Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller … that’s about it as far as big names go. But Jonathan Groff was in it, and since Into The Woods and Annie didn’t make the cut – not that anyone thought Annie would be up for anything other than a Kids’ Choice Award – this is the best that musical theater fans are going to do this year.
Director: Clint Eastwood
In A Nutshell: A modern-day war film based on the memoir of Navy SEAL Chris Kyle, focusing on his skill as a sniper and the difficulties of returning home.
Fits Into The Stereotypical Best Picture Nominee Category Of: 21st century American warfare (see also: Zero Dark Thirty, The Hurt Locker)
Is There A Controversy Or Something? And how! Like Zero Dark Thirty, this film portrays the reality of U.S. war tactics – or, one version of that reality – and lets viewers draw their own conclusions about the morality of it
Is the protagonist a white guy? Yes.
How Can I See It? In theaters.
Our favorite shoes, though, have got to be our exploring shoes (which usually are some sort of flats). This year we hit the streets to find our favorite Friends locations:
First off, we needed some assistance on getting around parts of the Big Apple, so we consulted with a map. Joey tells us that you have to go into the map to understand it.
Natch, we tried it expecting to get a clear lay of the land:
But believe it or not, in reality – it didn’t work.
You know what’s a much more efficient way to getting around these days? Your phone’s map app. Too bad Joe didn’t have this back in London (Baby).