Slurp. I don’t think I have to elaborate on this. I’ll just add that it’s even worse if the object of the slurping (I’m SORRY, okay?) is a gross or slimy food. Slurping oysters? We have a winner… If by winning, I mean everyone loses.
Hunker down. I know this is just me. It makes me picture a family huddled in their basement, in squat position, scrunching up their faces in worry and contemplation. God, they’re probably even playing dominos or something similarly pathetic, all ‘hunkered’ like that.
Duty. In law school, this was my word-nemesis. My person-nemesis was a guy in my trial technique class who made me cry because he was mad at how much better than him I was at fake trials, but I digress. Try not giggling as you discuss a “serious duty.” Say it aloud if you have to.
Poop, you guys. It sounds like you’re talking about poop.
[Law school word-nemesis runners-up: Taint, tortfeasor.]
Juices. This one is context-specific, and is only horrible when it’s not referring to actual, acceptable, fruit-derived liquids. I was grocery shopping with a friend once who said he couldn’t find the aisle with the “juices” for his Swiffer. I think I hit him. But that was six years ago and he’s doing fine. I promise. More importantly, he’s learned to never talk like that again because it’s disgusting and everyone hates it.
Smear. See also, schmear.
What’s that? Do I want a schmear on my bagel? No. Never. Because I’m not awful.
You’re telling me to liberally smear sunscreen on my skin after swimming? Well, I’m telling you to liberally shut up. This word’s only acceptable in the context of making sure that you don’t have HPV.