Monthly Archives: May 2015

Welcome to the SH, Bitch!

Posted in Miscellany by

Okay friends – it’s time for another exciting theme week here at Cookies + Sangria, and we’ve been looking forward to this one for a while. All this week, we’ll be dedicating our posts to one of our all time favorite shows – Gilmore Girls! Yes, that’s right, the next seven days will be all about Stars Hollow, dissecting characters to an unhealthy level, questionable 00s fashion choices, and in-depth conversations about which boyfriend was really best for Rory.

Besides the fact that we have a deep passion for the Lorelais (yes, even the first Lorelai), we’re also gearing up for the ATX TV Festival in Austin next weekend, where we’ll be watching history in action (that is if we don’t pass out first) when the Gilmore Girls cast reunite for the first time since 2007. It’s going to be EPIC (in the most dramatic sense of the word), and we’ll be reporting live from the reunion on Twitter and Facebook. You can also join us throughout the weekend, when we attend the other awesome panels and screenings of some of our other favorite shows, using the hashtag: #CandSTakeATX !

But before all that goes down, grab your coffee coffee coffee and get ready for all things Gilmore coming at ya this week! Copperboom!

See Y’all In Austin! C&S Take #ATX

Posted in Entertainment, Saturday Spotlight by

In just days, tv enthusiasts, Texas enthusiasts, and just generally enthusiastic people will be descending on Austin, TX for the ATX Television Festival. And we’ll be there, too!

ATX features screenings and panels – like a film festival, but for television. When we looked at this year’s lineup, with a Gilmore Girls reunion, a discussion with the Dawson’s Creek writers, the creatives behind Empire and Orphan Black, and tons more, attending was a no-brainer. In fact, we’ve already written about a majority of this year’s participating shows on the blog! If you’re as excited about ATX as we are, prep yourself for the festival by reading our posts about the 2015 attendees. You can also track our travels throughout next weekend with the hashtag #CandSTakeATX or by following us on Facebook or Twitter.

If you STILL need more TV talk, we’ll be doing a theme week about one of this year’s ATX shows all throughout the next week! Can you guess which one? Probably!

On to the posts:

Boy Meets World

‘Boy Meets World,’ Meet ‘Girl Meets World’
Whatareyoudoinghere: Unexpected Guest Stars Of Boy Meets World

 

Brooklyn 99

TV Characters I Need Back In My Life
Shows You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Last-Minute Binge-Watching Edition

 

Empire

Show You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Empire

 

Gilmore Girls

Whatareyoudoinghere: Unexpected Guest Stars Of Gilmore Girls
You’ve Been Gilmored: Tips For Binge-Watching Gilmore Girls

 

Dawson’s Creek

The Dawson’s Creek Virgin Diaries: Season 1
The Dawson’s Creek Virgin Diaries: Season 2
The Dawson’s Creek Virgin Diaries: Season 3
The Dawson’s Creek Virgin Diaries: Season 4
The Dawson’s Creek Virgin Diaries: Season 5
The Dawson’s Creek Virgin Diaries: Season 6
Doing Lines: Dawson’s Creek

 

Marta Kauffman (Producer, Friends, Grace and Frankie)

Live Blog: The Friends Finale, 10 Years Later

 

Orphan Black

Show You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Orphan Black
Woman Crush Wednesday: Tatiana Maslany

 

Younger

Show You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Younger

 

 

Can You Use That In A Sentence? Wacky Words Of The 2015 Scripps Spelling Bee

Posted in Entertainment by

It’s no secret: I love the Scripps National Spelling Bee. A few years ago I live blogged the event, and last year spellebrity Amber Born even stopped by to tell us what the bee is really like – if you are at all a bee enthusiast, it is a must-read! This year I couldn’t confer superlatives because – gasp! – I missed it. If you read the post a few days ago about cutting cable, that’s no surprise. But as we celebrate dual winners Vanya Shivashankar and Gokul Venkatachalam, we can still look back on the 2015 words that were.

bouillabaisse

Meaning: a traditional Provençal fish stew originating from the port city of Marseille

Can you use it in a sentence? At the 4th of July picnic, Rhonda – and her entire extended family – learned that bouillabaisse is a dish best stored out of the hot sun.

cerastes

Meaning: a North African viper that has a spike over each eye.

Can you use it in a sentence? George’s cerastes costume did not strike fear on Halloween night, because everyone thought he was some sort of weird unicorn.

hacek

Meaning: a diacritic mark (ˇ) placed over a letter to indicate modification of the sound in Slavic and other languages.

Can you use it in a sentence? In a bid to distinguish baby Isabella from the other girls with the same name, her parents placed an unnecessary hacek over the a.

cytopoiesis

Meaning: production of cells

Can you use it in a sentence? Nina’s mother called the teen’s acne “excessive cytopoiesis of oil cells,” because Nina’s mother is the worst.

 crannog

Meaning: an artificial, fortified island

Can you use it in a sentence? I think the island on Lost was a crannog, but I’m not sure because I stopped watching after the third season.

 bacchius

Meaning: a foot of three syllables consisting of one short syllable followed by two long ones, or one unstressed syllable followed by two stressed ones.

Can you use it in a sentence? “Rumor has it that Drake’s next mixtape contains a rap in which every verse begins and ends with a bacchius.” — This is actually Jacques Bailly’s sentence.

cocozelle

Meaning: a dark green variety of zucchini

Can you use it in a sentence? The cocozelle is an especially bland food, considering it sounds like it is named after an especially sassy French lady.

samadhi

Meaning: meditative concentration

Can you use it in a sentence?: In math class, I would frequently feign a state of samadhi so that the teacher would think I was paying attention and wouldn’t call on me.

Albumblatt

meaning: a short composition for the piano

Can you use it in a sentence? Mozart hinted to his followers that a new albumblatt was dropping next summer.

billiken

Meaning: a squat smiling comic figure used as a mascot

Can you use it in a sentence? I avoid standing next to tall friends in photos, lest I look like a billiken.

Hippocrene

Meaning: poetic inspiration

Can you use it in a sentence? The hippocrene – ATTACKED – my braaaaain – and speech …… and now… I saaaay everything like a slam…. poem.[Raise arms above head dramatically]

backfisch

Meaning: immature adolescent girl

Can you use it in a sentence? Move, backfisch, get out the way – your Zayn memorial is blocking the entire hallway.

poikilitic

Meaning: relating to the texture of an igneous rock in which small crystals of one mineral occur within crystals of another.

Can you use it in a sentence? These Billy Crystal Russian nesting dolls are especially poikilitic.

gnathostome

Meaning: jawed vertibrates

Can you use it in a sentence: Marge, who has a very weak jawline, lamented that she “barely even looks like a gnasthostome.”

población

Meaning: the center of a municipality or city in the Philippines

Can you use it in a sentence? When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go to the población.

commissurotomy

Meaning: an open-heart surgery that repairs a mitral valve that is narrowed from mitral valve stenosis.

Can you use it in a sentence: Broken-hearted Phil said that he felt like he had undergone a commissurotomy, but it was just a nasty breakup and he should probably deal with that.

réclame

Meaning: public attention or acclaim not necessarily based on or proportionate to real value or achievement

Can you use it in a sentence: Did you hear that they’re thinking of putting a portrait of the Kardashian family in the dictionary next to the word réclame?

Tartarean

Meaning: the regions below Hades where the Titans were confined; an infernal region; hell.

Can you use it in a sentence? After Whitney proclaimed that middle school was “positively tartarean,” she found that her classmates made it a lot more tartarean.

oflag

Meaning: a German prison camp for officers

Can you use it in a sentence? Fresh out of the oflag, Albert asked Whitney to remind him again what was so tartarean about middle school.

Bayadere

Meaning: a Hindu dancing girl, in particular one at a southern Indian temple.

Can you use it in a sentence: Bridget had dreams of becoming a bayadere, but her parents pushed her into Irish dance instead.

iridocyclitis

Meaning: inflamation of the iris and the ciliary body

Can you use it in a sentence? The pickup line “Do I have iridocyclitis? Because it almost hurts to look at you” was a big hit at the ophthalmologist convention.

Canossa

Meaning:  place or occasion of submission, humiliation or penance

Can you use it in a sentence? Brad told Whitney that public middle school might be tartarean, but Catholic middle school was a virtual canossa.

tortillon

Meaning: cylindrical drawing tool, tapered at the ends and usually made of rolled paper, used by artists to smudge or blend marks made with charcoal, Conté crayon, pencil or other drawing utensils.

Can you use it in a sentence? Angela felt that her kids’ classroom supply lists had grown too demanding when her kindergartner was instructed to bring a box of crayons, colored pencils, and a tortillon.

minhag

Meaning: a Jewish religious custom

Can you use it in a sentence? Rose claimed that her inability to use the stove on the Sabbath was a minhag, but her family suspected that she just hated to cook.

cibarial

Meaning: related to food

Can you use it in a sentence? Like 90% of Wanda’s instagram posts are cibarial and her food always looks gross; should we tell her?

zygoneure

Meaning: a connecting neuron

Can you use it in a sentence? “I’m drawn to you like a zygoneure between neurons” was a less-successful pickup line at the neurologist convention.

acritarch

Meaning: any of a group of fossil one-celled marine planktonic organisms of uncertain and possibly various taxonomic affinities held to represent the earliest known eukaryotes

Can you use it in a sentence? After learning that his friends did not share his enthusiasm for acritarch research, Ross was one sorry polontologist.

bouquetière

Meaning: garnished with vegetables

Can you use it in a sentence? If you eat pizza with bouquetiere presentation it’s totally healthy.

caudillismo

Meaning: the doctrine or practice of a caudillo

Can you use it in a sentence? Under Brittany’s iron fist, the sorority operated under a system of caudillismo and only pre-approved Vera Bradley designs were permitted.

thamakau

Meaning: a Fijian outrigger canoe

Can you use it in a sentence? In the Fijian version of Dawson’s Creek, Dawson drifted to Joey’s house on a thamakau to whine at her like a stupid baby.

scytale

Meaning: a method of cipher writing used especially by the Spartans in which a narrow strip of parchment was wound on a rod and the message written across the adjoining edges

Can you use it in a sentence: Diane spent English class perfecting her scytale and Ella was all  “damn, Diane, can’t you just pass notes like a normal person?”

tantième

Meaning: a percentage or proportional share especially of profits or earnings

Can you use it in a sentence? Fergie argued that she should receive a tantieme of the Scripps Bee profits because she “put spelling on the map” and it is “kind of her thing.”

cypseline

Meaning: of our relating to the swifts

Can you use it in a sentence: Some of the nerdier Taylor Swift fans wanted the group to be called “the cyspeslines” but honestly, that was ridiculous.

urgrund

Meaning: a primal cause or ultimate cosmic principle

Can you use it in a sentence: After much soul-searching, Earl said that he had discovered the controlling urgrund. Maxine replied “Gesundheit.”

filicite

Meaning: a fossil fern

Can you use it in a sentence: After complaining that she hated getting flowers because they always died, Becky received a filicite for her anniversary, but she hated that too because Becky sucks.

myrmotherine

Meaning: feeding on ants

Can you use it in a sentence? After the picnic was invaded by ants, Janet discovered that she had inadvertently become myrmotherine.

sprachgefühl

Meaning: the character of a language

Can you use it in a sentence? The existence of the word “sprachgefuhl” pretty much sums up the German sprachgefuhl.

zimocca

Meaning: a flat sponge from the Mediterranean sea.

Can you use it in a sentence? Norm only shops at Whole Foods now and I have to wash my dishes with this scuzzy zimocca.

nixtamal

Meaning: limed kernels of corn that is ready to be ground into masa.

Can you use it in a sentence: Doug is a few nixtamal short of a tortilla, if you know what I mean.

hippocrepiform

Meaning: shaped like a horseshoe

Can you use it in a sentence? Remember how we all bought hippocrepiform necklaces because Carrie Bradshaw wore them? Most of the spelling bee contestants weren’t even alive for that.

paroemiology

Meaning: the subject of proverbs

Can you use it in a sentence? If Claire reblogs one more hand-lettered inspirational quote I’ll think she’s working on a degree in paroemiology.

scacchite

Meaning: some kind of mineral?

Can you use it in a sentence? No.

pipsissewa

Meaning: a North American plant of the wintergreen family, with whorled evergreen leaves

Can you use it in a sentence? After giving their 11 daughters botanical names from Violet to Daisy to Ivy, the Jones family was thrilled to welcome baby Pipsissewa to the clan.

Bruxellois

Meaning: patois language of Brussels

Can you use it in a sentence? Brenda told her professor that she was speaking Bruxellois, when really, Brenda was just very bad at French.

pyrrhuloxia

Meaning:  songbird of Mexico and the southwestern US.

Can you use it in a sentence? Harper Lee’s editors informed her that her working title, “To Kill A Pyrrhuloxia,” required a little tweaking.

scherenschnitte

Meaning: the art of cutting paper into elaborate designs

Can you use it in a sentence? Do you ever see those DIY websites with all their scherenschnitte and just think “nobody’s got time for that?”

nunatak

Meaning: a hill or mountain surrounded by glacial eyes

Can you use it in a sentence? Climb every nunatak, ford every stream.

 
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Why We Need More Sisterhoods of the Traveling Pants

Posted in Entertainment, GSOY (Gratuitous Story of Yourself) by

Guys, I’m not ashamed to say it – I loved Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. The first one, the second one, the third one, probably, if they ever make it. I’m always for any movie that features a strong friendship between females, stars great actresses, features hot guys, and passes the Bechdel test.

If you can believe it, the first Sisterhood film was released 10 years ago this coming Monday, and I clearly remember going to the theater with my girlfriends (including Molly) to see it. It was 2005, the summer right after the first year of college. We all came back home after spending our first year as ‘adults’ on our own, making new friends, living new lives. Anyone who’s ever been to college can relate to this, which is why I think Sisterhood resonates with not just tweens, but young adults and even adult adults. As the girls in the Sisterhood spent their summer away from each other, they planned on staying connected by sending each other a magical pair of pants, along with a note updating each other on their lives.

Pants = love. Love your sisters and love yourself.

The idea was so inspiring that we decided to do something similar – obviously a pair of jeans that fit everyone wasn’t an option, so during a trip to Niagara Falls, we bought a yellow, white and orange floral printed scarf, and deemed it the Traveling Scarf. It lived on for a while, being sent from school to school on its Northeast college tour throughout our sophomore year. (If anyone’s wondering, I have it currently in my closet. Sorry.) While the Sisterhood films and magical pants seemed lame at first, it gave me and my friends a creative way to keep in touch when school and our lives as college kids got in the way.

ah, college.

The mere fact that we, as 19 year olds, were left inspired by a film to be closer to one another when we couldn’t be physically and geographically close, is a testament to the movie, books, and franchise as a whole. This is exactly why we need another movie and movies like this need to keep being made. Aside from the whole more films made by and for women debacle (which is obviously important and I hate that it’s even an issue), movies and books and TV shows, etc. about women supporting each other need to be put out for public consumption.

Tween and teen girls need the Sisterhood and the ilk to use as a type of guide them between finding themselves and finding friendships with other girls. Women our age need it because sometimes we need to be reminded of what’s really important. We get wrapped up in worry – worry about our jobs, what we’re going to wear to that event, financial problems – but movies like Sisterhood remind us that we ultimately need to be happy with ourselves and how we are as human beings, and to surround yourself with people that will lift you to be the best you, instead of bringing you down.

So, in saying all this, the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 3 movie needs to be on its way. And while we’re at it, how bout making other movies like this one, Hollywood? There’s a Bechdel Test waiting to be taken, and I can’t wait until there’s a handful of movies for teen girls that pass with flying colors.

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Palme d’Or Fashion at Cannes 2015

Posted in Entertainment, Outfit Girl by

The 68th Cannes Film Festival came to a close over the weekend, and while some might be focused on how the new movies fare at one of the most important movie fests in the world, I’m more concerned as to what people wear while walking the red carpet and going up the iconic Cannes staircase. Since Cannes is a coastal French city, there are some great shots of celebs posing near the stunning waters, but again, because of the epicness of the red carpet and staircase, stars tend to up their glam game just for the festival. Here are some of my favorite looks (in reverse chronological order) from this year’s red carpet.

Sienna Miller in Gucci {Macbeth Premiere}

At first glance, this dress may seem odd and perhaps a bit ugly. But the more I look at it, the more I love it, and appreciate it for its intricacies and unique design. Especially love the collar with the red and black accents!

 

Nikki Reed in Azzaro Couture {Youth Premiere}

I’m a sucker for a cape or anything that looks for a cape. Nikki’s flowing navy blue dress is perfect for Cannes. Sleek, sexy and a stand-out from the crowd. So much so that you almost forget to ask what she’s even doing at Cannes.

Marion Cotillard in Dior Couture {Le Petit Prince Premiere}

One of France’s best exports of course had to show up in Dior, and per usual, she looks flawless.

Kendall Jenner in Calvin Klein Collection {amfAR Gala}

There are a lot of models that show up at Cannes, and Kendall was on hand for the annual amfAR Gala, which again, judging by the articles, was predominantly attended by models. anyways, at 19 years old, Kendall is wearing a dress perfect for her age, and something you’d expect her to wear. The gala isn’t AS fancy as the red carpet, so she gets away with showing this much skin. Plus, I bet this color looks even more gorgeous in person.

Emily Blunt in Stella McCartney {Sicario Premiere}

Ugh. Stop being so freaking perfect, Emily Blunt. She’s wearing one of her fave designers, so it’s no surprise she’s rockin this, but it’s so perfectly shaped to her body, and is so hot, without showing that much skin. The emerald earrings and sweeping updo is the perfect match for the sparkling dress.

Cate Blanchett in Armani Prive {Sciario Premiere}

Good ol’ Cate looks classy as ever in this chic black dress, but what makes it for me is the oversized belt that shows that it’s more than just an accessory but akin to real art.

Emily Blunt in Peter Pilotto {Sicario Photocall}

This dress has a lot going on and while I like it on its own, what I love is the overall styling. By pairing it with complimentary shoes, red lips and relaxed hair, she kills this look.

Aishwarya Rai Bacharan in Oscar de la Renta {Jazabaa Photocall}

Aishwarya is like the Angelina Jolie of India. She had a baby five years ago and has been on hiatus ever since. Her new movie at Cannes marked her return to film, and throughout her time at the fest, she’s been proving that she’s back and better than ever. This gown fits her well and I love the random mismatched pleats in the skirt that give it character.

Mindy Kaling in Salvador Perez {Inside Out Premiere}

The Mindy Project costume designer Salvador Perez often makes Mindy dresses outside of the show and he knocks it out of the park with every one (he made this dress for her at the People Magazine awards and I still covet it to this day). This dress is Indian inspired, and like Mindy Lahiri, Mindy Kaling pulls off bright color blocking like a mf’in boss.

Salma Hayek in Gucci {Rocco And His Brothers Premiere}

In addition to calling out Hollywood sexism at Cannes, Salma also showed off her *ahem* assets in this simple and beautiful purple gown.

Marion Cotillard in Balmain {Trophee Chopard}

Marion is reppin yet another French designer with this African-inspired Balmain dress, which – I mean this in the best way possible – reminds me of boondoggle/lanyard that you would make designs out of during arts and crafts at summer camp.

Rooney Mara in Alexander McQueen {Carol Photocall}

Like many of Alexander McQueen’s designs, this dress is weird yet beautiful, edgy yet classic, and Rooney is just the type of celeb who can pull this off.

Diane Kruger in Dolce & Gabbana {Maryland Photocall}

Usually I’m not into these types of dresses, but for some reason I am so into it. It looks so perfectly tailored onto Diane’s body, so maybe that’s why? Or maybe it’s Diane herself that’s hypnotized me into believing this dress is great.

Emma Stone in Dior {Irrational Man Premiere}

This girl. Hollywood glam right here. Up close, you can see the dress is a pale blue color with impressive embroidering on it. What you can’t see is the fantastic open back and her hair is swept up in some kind of french bun. ALSO, she’s wearing a choker, reminiscent of the black tattoo ones from the 90s. Except this one is probs made out of diamonds and wayy classier.

Lupita Nyong’o in Gucci {Le Tete Haute Premiere}

I just want this caption to be 10,000 emojis with heart eyes. Pretend that’s here. This look is inspired by Uganda’s ‘cricket season’, in which the insects come out after it rains in droves and locals capture them and fry them. They’re considered a delicacy, and I’m considering this to be on of Queen Lupita’s best looks.

BONUS LUPITA JUST BEING A QUEEN IN THE WILD

This freaking ethereal goddess.

AND MY TWO FAVES TAKING A CASUAL SELFIE

https://instagram.com/p/20wXEzpQ_s

 

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It’s 1995: Let’s All Decorate With Pastel Southwestern Stuff

Posted in GSOY (Gratuitous Story of Yourself), Miscellany by

Welcome to another edition of Let’s All Decorate!, where we explore the baffling interior design trends of days past! Today we look into a craze that swept the nation in the 1980s and 1990s, when pastels reigned supreme and appropriation was king. Long before we were all wearing “tribal print” shorts and flats, our parents were decorating in “Southwestern” style. Today, my friends, our walk down memory lane is lined with cacti.

It’s 1995. You’re a mom shopping out of the J.C. Penney catalogue, and you’re looking to revamp your home’s current look. All of those geese in bonnets and powder blue gingham are so 1890 1990. It’s 1995, Clinton is in office, TLC is on the radio, and “Navajo” motifs are all over page 178 of the fall Sears catalogue. You are modern, you are edgy, you are worldly, and now you own peach and seafoam lamps based on Native American vases. You are my mother. Hi, mom.

I think there were a few months when ducks in bonnets and “Southwestern” lamps lived in harmony in my childhood home. That’s before the Southwestern lamps killed themselves. One day one of my brothers knocked over one of the lamps. It was made of powdery terra cotta, and it shattered. The lamp was quickly replaced. Months later, we broke another one. My mom declared that the next person to break one of those lamps was going to pay for it themselves. Not a week later, she knocked one over dusting. Elizabeth Bishop had it right: “so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.” Those lamps were freaking ugly, and eventually, they lost the will to exist.

It wasn’t just my family: plenty of middle-class Americans – some from the Southwest, but just as many from the Northeast like us – wanted to paint our living rooms with all the Colors of the Wind. Possibly in Benjamin Moore’s Blue Corn Moon.

This living room from Ugly House Photos is peak Department Store Southwest. Note the pastel teal, the Native American porcelain doll, and what appears to be a Horn Of Plenty on the side table:

And how about this bedroom? America: where we will take your sacred land and build a strip mall on it, then fill the strip mall with a Pottery Barn that sells knockoffs of your art and furniture. I do really appreciate how they incorporated both a canopy bed and tiny rodent pelts.

 

Faux painting was a 90s decorating trend I’d rather forget. We all remember sponge painting and marbling, but this home, featuring faux primitive cave etchings, really takes the cake.

Is this a set from the smash tv hit Hey Dude? No, it’s a house with dehydrated cow skulls. If it looks like clip art scenery from Oregon Trail, maybe it doesn’t belong in your house. Or maybe it does.

 

I believe the following look combines the 90s penchant for Southwestern motifs with our brief love affair with Magic Eye paintings:

 

Falling under the category of “well, at least it’s less bad than the trail of tears, but then again so is just about everything:”

 

You don’t see Southwestern interior decorating much anymore, at least not outside of the bona fide Southwest or actual Native American homes. In those cases, it’s great! But I like to think that in white, northeastern homes, all of these teal and peach monstrosities made like my mom’s J.C. Penney lamps and offed themselves while they could.

2015 Unofficial Guide to Your New TV Addictions

Posted in Entertainment by

It’s that time again, folks. Time for me to dole out my picks for the shows you need to carve time out for this fall. I’d to start off by saying that I really didn’t find many of the new shows appealing, and thanks to the slaughter of shows that happened a couple weeks ago, in which a lot of the shows I watched got kicked to the curb, it’s difficult for me to trust some of these networks again cough*NBC*cough. But, there are still a ton of new shows that recently got picked up to series and will be heading your way in September. To help you sort through it all, I’ve picked a few of my early favorites. Did I miss your potensh fave?

The Comedies

Life in Pieces

Mondays (moving to Thursdays), 8:30pm • CBS

In full disclosure, I went into this trailer not expecting anything and not knowing any details. It is by far one of the strongest and funniest trailers I’ve watched in a while (let’s hope the pilot stays the same. Life In Pieces follows a family  as told from a point of view of each character based on their own version of events. It’s kinda like Modern Family meets Parenthood meets any ep of TV that shows the timeline of a story from three different perspectives. Plus, it has a bunch of big names in it, like James Brolin, Dianne Weist, Colin Hanks, Breaking Bad’s Betsy Brandt and a number of others. This show could be an underdog.

The Muppets

Tuesdays, 8:00pm • ABC

One show that’s not an underdog but rather the complete opposite is The Muppets – a contemporary mockumentary style show following the daily life of our favorite furry friends.. Think The Office if it was run by Muppets. Sign me up immediately.

Scream Queens

Tuesdays, 9:00pm • Fox

TBH, I’m probably not even going to watch this show, but it has enough Ryan Murphy buzz that mades me think it can actually last more than a season. It’s Mean Girls and Scream combined, featuring a sorority and the hunt for a person killing of the characters one by one. Also, Nick Jonas.

Honorable Mentions:

Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris (NBC) – NPH is getting his own variety show! What more can you ask for?

Grandfathered (NBC) – If you can’t wait for the Full House reboot, check out John Stamos’ new show in which he finds out he has a son – and a granddaughter at the same tim.

The Grinder (Fox) Rob Lowe is giving it the old college try yet again with his show which features an older actor who is famous for his role as a TV lawyer, but when the show ends, he attempts to become a lawyer IRL. Rob has another show on NBC, which gives him hope for at least one of his shows sticking around this season.

The Dramas

Heroes Reborn

Thursdays, 8:00pm • NBC

Guys, remember how good the first two seasons of Heroes was? Heroes Reborn is the show you want to be as good as those early episodes. A few familiar faces will return (Matt Parkman, HRG), but there will also be new heroes on the block (hello Zach Levi).

Supergirl

Mondays, 8:00pm • CBS

Everyone is hyped for this because it’s a superhero show. That’s all.

Containment

Midseason • CW

Again, I’m not totally convinced I’m going to watch this show, but it actually looks really good. From Julie Plec, the woman who brought you Ian Somerhalder as a vampire (is that even right?), Containment tells the the story of a deadly mystery virus that spreads in Atlanta and kills 100% of the people that contract it.  If it sounds disturbing and horrifying, that’s because it it probably is.

Honorable Mentions:

Chicago Med (mideason, NBC) – I watch Chicago Fire and have managed to keep Chicago PD off my docket because I have restraint, but I might have to cave for this one. I love a good medicalshow.

Limitless (CBS) – This is already getting a lot of buzz, mainly because it’s based off the 2011 film of the same name, starring Bradley Cooper. And B Coops is actually supposed to be in a few eps, so that’s enough star power to get it going.

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Wedding Season Survival Kit

Posted in GSOY (Gratuitous Story of Yourself), Miscellany by

It’s that time of year again – wedding season is officially here. Yes, that’s right happy couples, you get to attend your friends’ and family members’ nuptials, while looking on knowing that you too are in love, and for your single people, it’s a gentle reminder that you don’t have a designated slow dance partner at the wedding, or in life.

If you’re in your 20s or early 30s, you’re probably all too familiar with wedding season already. It spreads on to social media, when it seems as if every weekend someone is going to a bridal shower or bachelorette party or wedding. With the sheer amount of weddings that occur between now and like, the end of September, it seems almost necessary to have at least some sort of survival kit to make it through months of newlyweds’ happiness. Here are just a few tips I’ve come to discover on my travels that might help you come out of these next few months alive.

Declines with Regret is an Option

Photo Apr 30, 2 42 15 PM

First things first – you don’t have to go to every wedding you’re invited to. It’s always tempting to accept every single one, but be realistic. Do you have the funds to attend? More importantly, do you even care that the two people who invited you are tying the knot? Declining and saying no to invitations is not only a good thing to learn for weddings, but for life in general.

What Not To Wear

If there’s one thing we know about weddings, is that there are a lot of pictures taken throughout the day/night. Because of this, you dress to impress. And if you’re like me, wear a dress perfect for the particular wedding you’re going to – then never wear it again. Are you kidding me? I can’t be photographed in that ensemble again after there were 10 FB albums posted! Sort through your closet and find dressy pieces you wouldn’t usually put together and create a mix-and-match outfit without having to buy new clothes. Or do something like Rent the Runway, where you can get a designer dress for more then half off the original price, and simply return it. I’m doing this for the first time for my friends’ wedding in June and I’ll report back on my findings.

Make Wedding Weekend a Vacation

If you’re traveling somewhere for a wedding and have the time, don’t just stay at the final destination for the weekend, make the most of it. When my friends got married in their hometown of Sacramento, me and my groomsman friend planned a trip to nearby San Francisco, because, why not? If you’re gonna take days off from work, might as well make it worth it.

Score a Present Early in the Game

Get the couple a present off their registry as soon as possible, because if you wait too long, you might end up with the super expensive items like 100-piece china or an X-Box. If you do happen to find yourself in dire straits and know friends who are going to the wedding as well, ask if they want to chip in and buy one of the big ticket items. I’m pretty sure this is kosher.

Don’t Go Hard Right Away

Weddings can last forever. Not the actually ceremony – those can sometimes last only 15 minutes. So if you start taking shots before the bride goes down the aisle, you might need to take a nap sometime during dinner. Or maybe that’s just us old folk. The temptation of an open bar forces you to get all the drinks ASAP, but just steady yourself so you can have fun and not vom. Unless the open bar ends at a certain time, and stock up on drinks so you have some alc throughout the rest of the reception.

Hire a Designated Driver

Speaking of alcohol, don’t be dumb. I’m sure you’re all responsible adults, so this might be a moo point (a cow’s opinion). Again, if you’re going with friends, a party bus might be the ideal situation for a wedding, or plan on taking Uber to and from the venue.

Don’t Give In To Bouquet Toss Pressure

I hate the bouquet toss/garter tradition. I feel like it’s outdated and provides for an awkward situation between the person who grabs the bouquet and the person who grabs the garter. I’ve been to weddings where they practically force all single people on the floor to participate in the bouquet toss and I’ve wanted to toss myself out the window. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. It’s your life, bro.

Enjoy Yourself!

This goes without saying, but sometimes, especially if you’re involved with the planning of the wedding, that you focus on what could go wrong as opposed to truly enjoying yourself. At the end of the day, weddings are a great celebration of love between family and friends, and that’s all that matters.

 

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They Were Astronauts: Mad Men, Time Travelers

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In season 4 of Mad Men, school-marmish secretary Ida Blankenship died in the offices of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. Bert Cooper remarked that Miss Blankenship wasn’t just a fusty old lady:

She was born in 1898 in a barn. She died on the 37th floor of a skyscraper. She was an astronaut.

Ida was not even 70 years old, but her lifetime stretched from an era of horse-drawn transportation to one of live television broadcasts and international flights.

If Mad Men characters were real people, most of them would be much older than Ida Blankenship. Don Draper is now roughly 90 years old – give or take a few, because, you know, Dick Whitman and everything. Joan is 84, and Peggy is about to turn 75. At 61, even little Sally Draper is getting AARP mailers and gearing up for retirement.

That’s right: Sally Draper is only a few years younger than Miss Blankenship.

The magic of old-fashioned style: Peggy actually looks younger in 1970 than she did in 1960.

The Mad Men crew witnessed as much change in the second half of the 20th century as Miss Blankenship did in the first. Contrast the first scene between Peggy and Joan with the last. In 1960 Joan told Peggy that the way to be indispensable at work was knowing what kind of liquor to stock for your boss. Working as collaborators was out of the question. By 1970 (spoiler!), Joan proposes that she and Peggy become partners in a production company. In 1960, Joan told Peggy to “always be a supplicant;” in 1970, they’re both bosses.

During the first seasons, Mad Men’s costuming reflected early ’60s style — which, of course, owed a lot to the straight-laced 1950s. Men wore suits, women wore skirts, and pillbox hats were a hot accessory. By the last season, we saw glimpses of the fashion world we live in now. Characters wore casual clothing – jeans, even! – in settings they wouldn’t have dreamed of in 1960. Early on she dressed like a cat from a Richard Scarry book, but the Sally of 1970 could almost be mistaken for a teenager of today. Some of Mad Men’s 1970 styles look dated to us now – Pete Campbell has the semi-Medieval haircut of every man in my family’s 1970s photo albums – but most wouldn’t look out of place in a hipster neighborhood. By 1970 our modern fashion culture had emerged: much less formal and easier to maintain than the early ’60s looks, owing at least in part to all of the Joans and Peggys who were now working and didn’t have hours each week to press laundry.

RIP Sally’s knee socks.

Then there’s advertising. A few years ago I saw an old diner sign for pie. It said: “it is so good!” That’s it. That was advertising of the 1940s or so: tell them the pie is good. By the early seasons of Mad Men, more sophisticated targeted advertising had materialized. Pitch meetings involved discussions like “what kind of person uses this product?” and “who does the person using this product want to be?” By the finale, the public’s aspirations had changed. No longer striving for the middle class, suburban post-war ideal, the consumer of the 1970s wants to be enlightened, free-spirited and original. He wants to buy the world a Coke. With an ad concept that’s sure to get people talking, by 1970 we’re even looking at the start of viral marketing.

When I look at how the changing world affected these characters from 1960 to 1970, I have to wonder what would have happened to them after that. Throughout the 1970s, the firm probably focused on the youth-oriented marketing that was so successful in the Coke pitch. After all, the baby boomers had aged into that lucrative 18-35 demographic. Don Draper, at least trying to be a steady presence in his kids’ lives, stayed away from hardcore ’70s drug use. Sally had a misspent youth, as was the style of the time, and was just about the right age to hit the Studio 54 scene. Joan would have been hard at work at Holloway Harris. And Peggy… I can see the 1970s being Peggy’s decade, with the world finally getting a little closer to catching up with her. She and Stan would have made a great team both at work and out of it, and I’m sure Peggy got really into macrame decor, the ERA and oversized lapels. She would have spearheaded the firm’s pitch for a public service spot during the Oil Crisis. Baby Kevin probably ended the decade very wealthy indeed, because I can’t imagine Roger Sterling lasting that long.

The 1980s is when most of our characters would have seen a big payout. Most of our former “young professionals” would be in their 50s, the prime of their careers. Pete Campbell is still a weenie in the ’80s, because “Pete Campbell is a weenie” is an immutable truth. As a company man at Learjet, he probably made major bank targeting the Reagan-era business travel demographic. Don would find himself going back to the all-American family advertising of the early 60s, now that boomers were settling down with kids. Can’t you just see Joan getting really into ostentatious 1980s fashion as her production company booms?  Trudy is absolutely the kind of ’80s woman who decorated with ducks in bonnets. And of course, little Tammy Campbell would have graduated from Dartmouth in 1986.

Think of the popular advertising of your 90s childhood – all the neon and weird surfer slang. Some of it was coined by young ad execs, but there’s a good chance that those Nickelodeon Magazine and Sunny D spots were pitched by an aged Don Draper type. By the 1990s, the clunky typewriters are all replaced with computers, and 60-something Mad Men sat in front of desktop monitors waiting for the dial-up to turn on. This is probably the decade when most of our characters retired. 1990s Joan may be the world’s fiercest grandmother, with Kevin hitting his 20s and 30s. If Holloway Harris is a success, though, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Joan keep working into her 70s.

With the 2000s recession, most of our characters would be relieved to have left the work force. But maybe someone like Peggy would have kept working into the information age. All of these characters who used rotary phones are now face-timing their grandchildren on iPads. 90-year-old Don probably gets a kick out of online advertising.  If you’re reading this as a 20- or 30-something, Sally is probably close to your mom’s age. Can you picture a middle-aged Sally moving her kid into college in the 2000s, or an adult Sally tuning into Oprah every day after work? Or maybe her trips into the seedier parts of New York City are a sign that she ended up living the Bohemian lifestyle that Betty never had.

Back to 1970: in the Mad Men finale, Don was hanging out with his weird friends and I saw something unmistakable. It was the same exact cooler that accompanied my family on every road trip throughout my whole childhood. Then I did a little math. Let’s say one of my parents got that cooler in 1970 – reasonable, since they were college students at the time – and I remember traveling with it in 1992. The duration between 1992 and now is greater than from 1970 to 1992. In other words: I’m as far from my own childhood as my childhood was from the Mad Men era. The show was set in another time, but I’m from another time, too. When we were kids, the world was full of a lot of the same people, attitudes, and even tangible objects that had been there in the 1960s and 1970s. The other day, my dad mentioned that when he was a kid, all of the “old people” were folks who were alive in the 19th century – and now there are only 5 people left from that century. My brother added that the year he was born is as long ago today as the Korean war was when he was born.

It’s not just Ida Blankenship, and it’s not just Mad Men: we’re all time travelers. We’re all astronauts.

 

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In Search Of: Mad Men Characters’ Closure

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Last night, we said a final farewell to the folks on Madison Avenue, or rather the folks who ran away from the grind of the advertising life and the ones who decided to stick it through.

I personally was pleased with the way everyone’s story was wrapped up, as that was one of the main concerns of mine as we counted down to the final episodes. Would the last installment be just about Don? Would we ever get a Don/Sally scene? Or Roger/Joan? Or even Peggy/Pete? Luckily, we got all of those, and despite the fact a lot of people might not think enough “happened” in the series finale, I thought it was the best way to shut the door (and have a seat) with the characters we’ve been following for almost eight years.

And even one-liners about other characters like Dr. Rapist Harris/Joan’s ex-husband (lived through the war, is married with twins) and Margaret Sterling (still in that cult), gave us some sort of ‘cherry on top’/’tied with a bow’ ending.

But what about the characters that have been long gone? What happened to the ones who didn’t get a carefully crafted montage in the finale? I realize Mad Men/Matthew Weiner’s whole M.O. is that sometimes people leave without saying goodbye (see: series finale), but I just can’t help but wonder what happened to some of the people who used to be in the Mad Men inner sanctum.

Carla

HONESTLY, STILL MAD ABOUT HER LEAVING. Still mad at Betty for the way she fired her. Still the number one character I love to this day and held out hope for a return in the future. I bet she’s doing great things with her life. Honestly, any boss after Betty is an upgrade.

Sal Romano

Oh Sal. His storyline was heartbreaking – a closeted gay man who couldn’t come out and his homosexuality was ultimately what led to his firing from Sterling Cooper. Sal was a fan favorite and many still hoped he would make at least one appearance in the later seasons, but that never came to fruition. Is he still with his wife Kitty (played by Sarah Drew/April Kempner from Grey’s!), or by 1970 is he out and proud? Was he a part of Stonewall? Let’s just say yes.

Jimmy Barrett

Jimmy Barrett was an annoying son of a bitch. To this day, if I see that actor in another show, I’ll immediately hate him (**series finale mild spoiler***** kinda like that older woman just shoving Don at the retreat. They didn’t say a word, but she still felt like he needed a push (in the right direction?). I hope he and Bobbie called it quits. He should be single and doing his act in a bar in old Las Vegas.

Joyce Ramsay

Remember when we thought Peggy was gonna be a lesbian? Lezbehonest, it totally could’ve happened, and it totally could’ve happened with a pre-Girls Zosia Mamet. Joyce, and I think Peggy probably thought this too, was a breath of fresh air, the type of person she didn’t normally encounter during her corporate advertising travels. She was sure of herself and confident enough to wear a blazer in the 1960s. Did she become super feminist activist or just Shoshanna Shapiro’s mom?

Helen Bishop

If you forgot how Creepy Glen got into Betty’s life, it’s because his mom, Helen, was friends with her. Glen and Betty’s relationship got super weird, and by the time Betty gave young Glen a lock of her hair, Helen refused to let Glen get anywhere near her. Of course, he managed to avoid her stern request and met with Betty anyways. We get to see Glen as an 18 year old adult in one of the final episodes, right before he shipped off to war. Does Helen still hate Betty? Is she supportive of Glen’s decision to fight on the frontlines? Is there any possibility of a Mad Men/Scandal crossover-spin-off show?

Lois

This is the person who drove the John Deere tractor over someone’s foot. Where is she now??

Paul Kinsey

It was bound for one of the mad men to become a hippy dippy/granola/crunchy/spiritual type, considering the era. That person became Paul Kinsey and I solely correlate Hare Krishnas to him now.

Beth Dawes

Pete’s affair with the woman on the train ended up in crazy town – literally. She was sent to the looney bin, and that’s the last we see of her. I don’t think she was ever right for Pete anyways, but you always hope for an ending that leaves the character at peace. But I guess Alexis and Vinny lucked out IRL, since it turned out they were right for each other all along.

Stevie Wollcott

***series finale spoiler alert***

I am totally on the Peggy/Stan (Steggy) ship, but when I thought there was no hope for them, I was kind of rooting for Peggy to date Stevie, aka Mathis’ brother-in-law. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy, whose proposal of going to Paris didn’t seem too insane, but just crazy enough. But again, this is all moot because OMGZ STEGGY FEELS!! Also, he apparently was on My So-Called Life.

Bob Benson

Like Sal Romano before him, Bob Benson had a lot of hide. He even went so far as to propose to Joanie in hopes of living a ‘typical’ 1960s family, but she knew his secret, and luckily for him, said no. TBH, I don’t care where Bob Benson is now, I just think this exchange with Pete is one of the most iconic in Mad Men history.

Chauncey

No, but really. Where in the world is Duck’s dog Chauncey???

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