Things I’m Willing To Believe About Rosie O’Donnell

It’s Day 2 of Everything’s Coming Up Rosie Week, and we’re bringing back a recurring series, Things I’m Willing To Believe About ___, where we compile fake facts that seem… sort of plausible. Today we are spotlighting the Queen of Nice, Rosie O’Donnell. We are willing to believe that Rosie:

  • Had an early showbiz dream to appear as either the newest Brady Bunch kid or newest Partridge Family member.
  • Secretly sells art on Society6 under the pseudonym Katie Morosky
  • Hasn’t been able to let go of all the cassette tapes of Ryan’s Hope she recorded from the ’80s (she didn’t have a VCR back then so she recorded the audio, duh).
  • Has a permanent reserved seat at Hamilton, like how people in the 1800s used to have reserved pews at church. The only reason she hasn’t been MORE times is that she keeps giving the tickets away.

  • Is a generally peace-loving person, except that she can hear a North Shore vs South Shore argument from seemingly blocks away and will jump in.
  • Has not one but TWO dedicated craft/art studios in her home
  • Once had a house decorated with 100% decoupaged furniture. Made a concerted effort to scale back. Occasional pieces still surface at the Commack Volunteers of America Thrift Store.
  • Has had so many millennials come up to her telling her that her show “practically raised me” that she has had to stop agreeing to be listed as their emergency contact, after two such millennials were injured in trust falls on the same day.
  • Didn’t actually sign this autographed headshot that still sits in a frame on my childhood bed headboard

true story: i made my mom take a photo of this and send it to me. she doesn’t know how to take a pic on her phone and text it, but DOES not how to take a pic on her ipad and email it. hence the reflection. WOOF.

  • Auditioned to play the lead of Polly in Crazy For You on Broadway but lost out to Jodi Benson (aka Ariel of The Little Mermaid fame)
  • Her deepest secret: “not really a cat person.”
  • Steven Pasquale would be her modern day/Broadway Tom Cruise-esque crush if she still had her talk show
  • Turns out to be A.D. in the series finale on Pretty Little Liars as a favor to Marlene King (who wrote Now and Then)
  • Knows that Now and Then is an American classic, she just doesn’t want to make a big deal about it.
  • Despite the movie being questionable, Rosie secretly took home her Exit to Eden costume “just in case”

  • Lobbied extensively during the filming of Harriet The Spy to have Harriet’s beloved tomato sandwich swapped for something “less disgusting.”
  • Owns Donald Tr*mp voodoo doll
  • Super tempted to pull a Michael Jordan and take back her talk show from Caroline Rhea after six months
  • Caroline Rhea was her second choice for a replacement. Kristin Chenoweth was first.
  • Geena Davis taught her archery on the set of A League of Their Own
  • Still texts/emails/calls A League of Their Own & Sleepless In Seattle homeboy Tom Hanks for advice

  • Asked British boy band BBMak if they wanted to do a duet with her on her Another Rosie Christmas album, but they respectfully declined citing an “effort to protect their brand”
  • Kangol sent Ro hundreds of free hats that she couldn’t possibly wear herself, so that’s why anyone who shopped at Goodwill or Salvation Army in the Greater New York City area between 1996 and 1999 are owners of said accessory
  • Had Mormon missionaries visit her house weekly for YEARS in an attempt to capitalize on her love for Donny Osmond. It didn’t take.
  • Goes without saying, her Tom Cruise obsession caused similar problems. She does not want a free personality test, thank you very much.
  • Secretly made the Internet with Al Gore and sneakily popularized it with her show

  • Is still really good friends with Madonna, and is (secretly) the only person allowed to shorten her name to “Maddie.”
  • Tom Cruise is on her Christmas card list, but every year she worries it could be some sort of Scientologist faux pas.
  • Forced John McDaniel to spill all the juicy details on working closely with Patti LuPone, and wouldn’t give him the job of musical director on her talk show until he caved
  • Still keeps in touch with Kathy Del Bel Baluz (sp?) from Toronto, Canada and they exchange notes about wall stenciling.

  • Once prank called Elisabeth Hasselbeck and asked if her refrigerator was running
  • Gets free bus rides from the MTA ever since Riding the Bus with my Sister aired
  • On the days she misses being a talk show host, she makes her kids be her guests, and acts it all out in the replica of her Rosie show set in her home
  • Yes, it IS cute when they change “Tommy Can You Hear Me” to “Mommy Can You Hear Me,” thank you very much.
  • Sent Jimmy Fallon a care basket and heartfelt (yet funny) note after his ring finger accident, since a staph infection nearly cost her her own finger too
  • Since childhood, Rosie has maintained a complex, multi-factor ranking of supermarket snack cakes – and has a curious aversion to the Swiss Cake Roll.
  • Single-handedly revived Pepto Bismol’s brand by constantly singing “plop plop fizz fizz” on her show
  • Found  Oprah’s secret poop bathroom while filming The Rosie Show at the Queen’s studios in chicago
  • Secretly hated Tickle Me Elmo and all that he stood for

We’ll Never Love Anything As Much As Rosie O’Donnell Loved….

Rosie O’Donnell may be one of the most famous talk show hosts of the 90s and early 2000s, but we like to think of her as one of the most famous FANS, too. So deep was Rosie’s fondness for her favorite things that when we were discussing this post, we came up with dozens of musicians, games and foods that Rosie adored – even though it has been nigh on 14 years since The Rosie O’Donnell Show left the airwaves. While we like to think we share some of Rosie’s gusto, the fact is that we will never love anything as much as Rosie O’Donnell loved:


M: Rosie thought kids were punny (other thing Rosie loved: puns), but most of all, she was the ultimate kid-friendly adult. She actually LISTENED to kids, acted like their opinions and stories were legitimate, and didn’t ask them condescending questions. There’s a chance I’m conflating Rosie with Golly, her character in Harriet The Spy, but probably not.

I also always loved that Rosie seemed like a parent who genuinely got a kick out of her own kids, and I refuse to believe that Parker is a grown man because I still can hear Rosie’s Parker imitation.


M: You know when you’d get a cast recording and listen to it over and over again? And maybe you still do that (ahem – Hamilton)? Rosie was a TV-sanctioned adult who did the same thing. Rosie adored showtunes and musical theater actors, and all of the hottest shows of the 90s and early 2000s performed on Rosie. It didn’t seem weird at the time, but there are very few talk shows that you can count on to feature up-and-coming musicals. There’s a lot to say here, so we’ll be revisiting this topic later in the week.

Of course, no mention of Rosie and Broadway would be complete without a nod to her tenure as Rizzo in Grease.

T: Remember right after her show ended, she invested in a musical called Taboo loosely based off of Boy George? Don’t worry, it got mostly bad reviews and closed after 100 performances, so unless you’re a crazy person like we are, you wouldn’t have remembered just how deep her Broadway love runs.

Broadway Kids

M: Rosie loved Broadway, and Rosie loved kids, so it stands to reason that Broadway Kids were Rosie’s jam – to the extent that she created Rosie’s Broadway Kids (now called Rosie’s Theater Kids), an organization that gets kids involved in the performing arts. However, during our childhood the Broadway Kids were at troop of polished musical theater kids who sometimes performed on shows like Rosie. I remember watching them through a lens of admiration mixed with envy. I feel like Lacey Chabert was always involved, but that can’t be possible.

T: Lacey Chabert – that bitch be everywehre.


M: Entenmann’s baked goods reminded Rosie O’Donnell of the Long Island mom-types during her childhood playing bridge or whatever it was that Long Island moms did in the 60s. And now, Entenmann’s baked goods remind me of Rosie O’Donnell. I don’t know her position on TastyCakes.

T: I do know her position on Ring Dings, because audience members got that and milk before the show.

Koosh balls

T: There are few talk show hosts who can get away with launching rubber balls into the audience and make it look cool. Just imagine Oprah doing this for a second. And that’s OPRAH. When Rosie flung these into the crowd, it suddenly became an interactive show and added a sense of innocent fun unlike any other talk show on TV. It became so synonymous with her show that Koosh sold a special Rosie O’Donnell Show version of their Koosh Fling Shot, as seen here and the one sitting at my home collecting dust.

M: I got one of these at the store after the NBC tour, c. 1998. I don’t keep things so I got rid of it sometime in high school, but I sort of wish I still had it.

Tom Cruise

T: If there’s anything you took away from watching Rosie in the 90s, it’s that she had an obsession with two people: Tom Cruise and Barbra Streisand. If you recall, Rosie had a soundboard that played audio clips next to her desk, and anytime she’d talk about her deep love for her celebrity crush, she’d play “Tommy, can you hear me?” a line from a song of the same name by The Who. She campaigned for him to be on her show, and when he finally made it, it was like watching Jim and Pam kiss for the first time. Rosie invited fans into her life by sharing personal anecdotes that made it seem we had been friends growing up in Commack, Long Island, and we were cheering her on as she lived out life long dream. I mean, while rewatching this clip, I legitimately said out loud (to no one), “THIS BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY!” Especially if you forget about all of Tom Cruise’s persona.

M: When we were doing our Rosie Week research this summer, we were both floored by how quickly into the show’s run Tom appeared (plus a few others, like Donny Osmond). The buildup was so huge that at the time, it felt like years before “my Tommy” was a Rosie guest.

Barbra Streisand

T: As mentioned, Rosie’s other love was Barbra. She had loved the icon ever since she was a kid, not only because she enjoyed her music, but it was a common interest she shared with her late mother, who died of breast cancer when Rosie was just 10. She even used to amuse her mom by impersonating Barbra, so it was always like a maternal fan relationship with her.

In that first interview with Babs in ’97, I distinctly remember tearing up because Rosie was tearing up, but I feel like anyone would after watching Ro interview/meet her lifelong idol.

“For every boy and girl out there watching, dreams do come true, please welcome Barbra Streisand… You were a constant source of light in an often dark childhood. You inspired me and gave me the courage to dream a life better than the one I knew. I am profoundly grateful to you in so many ways.”

McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys

M: Rosie seemed so genuinely delighted by McDonald’s toys that it didn’t occur to me until I was writing this post at age 30 that it could have been a marketing tie-in. And honestly? I still think she really liked the toys. Rosie always had ALL of the Teeny Beanie Babies, even the “rare” ones.

T: Rosie probably had the Princess Diana one, LBR.

M: Thing from my childhood I DIDN’T KonMari: My Princess Diana Bear. That thing was gonna pay my college tuition.

Chub Club

T: When you’re living in America, at the end of the millennium – you are what you eat. Which is why Rosie started the Chub Club, a campaign to get herself and viewers in shape. The motto was “Eat Less and Move More” and basically served as a virtual support group to lose weight. Over 300,000 people joined, and was a staple on Rosie’s show. She’d invite Chub Club members to the show, discuss the right foods to eat and try out exercise tips. If I wasn’t a tween at the time, I definitely would try to do this for the swag alone (I think there was swag, at least).

M: I love how no-fuss this idea is. There are no weird things with tracking carbs or fats (it was the 90s) and you didn’t have to do Billy Blanks. Everyone on a diet in 1999 had to do Billy Blanks workouts before this. That’s just how it was.

Being Kissable

M: Doesn’t ring a bell? Here, let me help. Scope did a poll that named Rosie one of the least-kissable celebrities. Yeah. If you think the media is nasty now, the 90s were possibly worse. Anyway, Listerine disagreed and donated $1,000 for every celebrity guest who kissed Rosie. In the end, it was a lot of money.

Being Crafty

T: This video includes two of our favorite people in the world. And if you’re wondering what the timeline is here, LG appeared on Rosie’s very last episode in 2002 aka season two of Gilmore Girls. Yeah, I know it’s weird. BUT THIS IS A DELIGHT. “Shells are very big for Summer 2002”.

Anyways, Rosie was so cool during this time that she made even crafting hip (amongst the suburban mom demo and kids under the age of 14). She even had a segment called Rosie’s Craft Corner, and she’d usually have either her official show crafter named Christina, I think? Or a celeb guest, as seen above. No lie, I bought Mod Podge solely because Rosie decoupaged all the things, so natch, I did too.

Being Irish-American

M: Rosie freaking loved being Irish-American, and it was so refreshing to have a celebrity cultural spokesperson who wasn’t a Kennedy. (Yeah, lots of celebs are part-Irish, but there’s a difference between being raised doing Irish dance and going to the AOH verses just knowing some great-great-great grandparent was supposed to be from there). So did Rosie sometimes say things were “Irish” things when they were really just her family (I recall cold sores and having a short upper body)? Sure, but who cares? She helped maintain the Irish reputation for being hilarious and affable, and we all owe her a Guinness for that.

Donny Osmond

T: Donny Osmond, former teen heartthrob and longtime Mormon singing icon, made a cutting joke about Rosie’s larger figure, and she got on the outs with him. In an effort to apologize, he dressed as a large puppy and sang his signature song, Puppy Love. It was obviously rude of him to make the joke, but the result is great, and I can’t say that I didn’t have a crush on him twenty years too late during this era.

M: Thanks to Rosie, I saw Donny Osmond appear at the Hill Cumorah pageant, a big Mormon to-do. Readers? I am not Mormon.

Her BFFs Jackie and Jeanie

M: When we watched Rosie as tweens, we imagined (a) that we’d be friends with our childhood besties forever and (b) if we ever got famous, they were coming with us. That’s why we loved how Rosie would bring her buddies onto her show and chat about them in the same way one might name-drop a celebrity.


M: OK. It was a 90s thing. But the fact remains that the woman loved a pantsuit with big lapels. Do you remember those giant brooches that moms and teachers would wear back then? You NEEDED those lapels.

Her Barbie

M: Can you blame her?

T: Is that a card deck labelled “Activity Zone!”??? Because I need it.

Having A Footrest

M: Rosie’s desk had a slide-out footrest for short guests. She LOVED offering it to people, and it came in handy because a lot of Rosie’s guests were children or, for whatever reason, small adults.

When people did her desk

T: I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Rosie had a contest in which different people would design her desk and it lasted maybe a week or two. Here’s one featuring a real habitrail with real hamsters. Other themes included Star Wars, Hot Wheels and an entire desk made out of Legos. As a 12 year old, this desk was #goals.

Everything’s Coming Up Rosie Week

We’re not afraid to proclaim this – we love Rosie O’Donnell. And it’s admiration that has been running deep for two decades. 20 years ago this past June, it marked the anniversary of The Queen of Nice’s talk show premiere, and all this week, we’re celebrating the show and the iconic comedienne that is Rosie O’Donnell.

Join us, won’t you?


Cheers Chats #10: Indoor Fun With Sammy And Robby

Welcome back to Cheers Chats! We’re almost to the end of the series (and that is a good thing for both of us), but we have a couple more before we get to the finale. Here’s a stop in season eight, when we definitely are wondering why we are still doing this.

Episode 8.19: Indoor Fun with Sammy and Robby

Originally aired: February 22nd, 1990

Previously on Cheers

(Brief synopsis of what happened prior to this episode)

T: I’m not gonna lie to y’all – I have NOT been enjoying this season. It’s probably because this show aired in 1990 and society has shifted since then, but BOY is this show not friendly towards women. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but in the 11 seasons of Cheers, only 10 or so of the writers were women. Plus, there are only 2 main female characters, and Carla tends to side with the guys in general (or is always pregnant). The blatant misogyny and lack of respect for women in the show has bugged me so much that if I wasn’t *doing it for the blog* I would stop watching.

M: We have hashed out the idea of doing a full post dedicated to this particular frustration, and stay tuned because it’s coming as soon as I can distill my thoughts into something more than an angry rant punctuated with the sentence “DIANE DOESN’T EXIST.” It’s almost as if, in addition to containing almost no women, the writer’s room of Cheers had also never met one.

Like Traci, I’ve been surprised to find that things got worse as we entered the 90s. Or maybe we’re just tired.

T: Rebecca finally sleeps with her forever crush and boss Robin Colcord in a two-parter called “Finally”. Sam (who’s still trying to get in Becky’s pants) finds out Robin is seeing another woman. Robin, in an effort to prevent Becky from finding out about his infidelity, offers to sell Sam the bar back if he doesn’t tell her. Being the semi-good guy he is, Sam decides to tell her anyways. She confronts Robin but apparently they’re still together?


Netflix synopsis

Robin takes a day off work to spend some romantic time with Rebecca, but he ends up getting into a competition with Sam that takes all day.

What Had Happened Was

(Basic recap of the episode’s main plot)

Rebecca – Rebecca has big plans for Robin’s rare day off- they’re going to live out every “fantasy” she’s ever had, which includes walking on the beach, having a picnic in the park, paddleboating, going to the zoo, and seeing Phantom.

Cliff – A pool ball ricochets off Cliff’s head and he may or may not have a concussion.

Frasier –  Frasier keeps playing darts and wants someone to beat him.

Little Ditty About Sam and Becky

Sam fuels the Robin fire by continuing to engage in bar games with him as he continues to put off going out with Rebecca. Part of this includes a game of chess, which Sam does NOT know how to play. So he gets the assist from Norm, who is talking to him through a headset while he plays it out via a game on the computer. So much masculinity.

Becky with the Good Hair

T: Despite knowing that Robin has another girl in his life, Rebecca “doesn’t care” because she is “winning” and “not jealous” because he “prefers” her to “Jeanne Marie”. WOOF.

Rebecca, going through a rack of different outfits for the day: “This is for the beach walking hand in hand, picnic in the park, paddle boats, zoo, seventh row Phantom of the Opera, and this is for the end of a romantic evening…” holds this up:


M: Oh, Bex. By the way, Outfit To Wear To Phantom was a staple in the wardrobe of every fine woman of 1990.

T: Robin gets caught up with the darts tourney and Rebecca ends up going to the beach with Woody. Robin continues to face-off with Sam in bar games. Rebecca continues her day of fun with Woody instead of Robin. I don’t get why she is continuing her day. Besides the Phantom tix, she can do everything else with Robin at another time.

M: Except that Robin NEVER TAKES A DAY OFF, a fact that is very emphatically repeated at the beginning of the episode for no real reason.


The moments that made us literally laugh out loud

T: Literally did not laugh one bit of this episode.

M: Not even a chuckle. We’ve fallen so far since the pilot.

Say It Again, Sam

(Memorable lines from the episode. Not exclusively from Sam Malone.)

Rebecca: “That chick is in Paris.”

Carla: “Oh, I thought Robin was in charge of that.”

“Being a progressive couple…” Fraiser and Lillith are splitting time waking up in the middle of the night to feed their baby. Which is a thing that happened.

“Hey, no one calls me ‘adroit’” Sam. Bless.

Frasier: So, where did you get all this expensive listening equipment, anyway?SO, WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THIS EXPENSIVE LISTENING EQUIPMENT, ANYWAY?

Norm: Oh, this is Pete’s stuff. He uses this all the time. 

Frasier: Pete, are you a surveillance expert?

Pete: No. My wife sleeps around a lot. 

Sam: You shouldn’t have moved your cardinal, bub!

Robin: Bishop. It’s called bishop. 

Sam: I never like to nail a guy twice in one afternoon.

Carla: You haven’t LIVED. [This feels like a very 1990 joke right?]

Cheers Queries

Woody irons all of Rebecca’s clothes for her multiple dates. Why does he keep agreeing to do personal work for her?! He’s the bartender.


How long did it take Norm to boot up that computer? It was always like the first entire 15 minutes of computer class in the early 90s.

Do people sing “na na nana, na na nana, hey hey-ey, goo-oodbye” to taunt people anymore? They do in this episode, and it happened in my childhood, but I can’t say I’ve heard it for years.

Have they always had this room with a giant rococo computer table? Heck. Have they always had a computer? All you could do with it at this point was play minesweeper.

Carla’s My Boo

Bless Carla for at least calling out that Robin’s got a side chick. Or maybe Rebecca’s the side chick.

Barfly Fashion

Rebecca’s mint green pant suit is a lot


This is exactly the type of sweater Frasier would wear.


Rebecca gives Robin “beachcombing” wear aka a matching sweater and yellow bucket hat. WHAT IS WRONG WITH

Sam on his headphones, pretending he’s listening to a basketball game on his walkman


Carla’s shirt with… fruit?


Also, Rebecca’s outfit to wear walking on the beach is a big Aran sweater. Presumably they will meet a golden retriever and take part in a Land’s End shoot.

Final Thoughts

T: Is it season 11 yet?

M: I totally would have tagged along for Rebecca’s day of yuppie fun, but I don’t think the Cheers writers know that female friendship is a thing.

Next Up: We are basing our watch list off of AV Club’s 10 Episodes That Show How Cheers Stayed Great For 11 Seasons. We’re going chronologically, so stop by next month when we’ll discuss season eleven, episode 22, It’s Lonely at the Top.

HamilTour in the Greatest City in the World

It’s finally happened. You bought your Hamilton tickets,  and if you’re like us, you were willing to wait for it (we booked ours 11 months in advance). You’re finally in the Greatest City In The World and by 8pm you will be in the room where it happens. Assuming you’ve already been to New York a number of times and don’t need to hit the biggest tourist attractions, you might want to take in some A.Ham-based sites. Here’s a slate of activities that you can fit in before showtime, answering the ever-important HamFan questions: would it be a good place for a duel? Is it a good place to cry? And, should you throw away your shot to see it?

Alexander Hamilton: Striver, Statesman, Scoundrel at NYPL


Would it be a good place for a duel?

NO. It is very small and crowded, which means you would hit somebody, A, and also couldn’t get the requisite steps apart, B.

Is it a good place to cry?

Pretty good, yeah. We both got emotional looking at a letter from Alexander to Eliza strictly because an informational plaque contained the word “orphanage.” Also libraries are quiet and respectful, so it sort of feels like crying at church which is not at all an unusual comparison to make, right?

a letter from alex to angelica aka MY DEAREST,

a letter from alex to angelica aka MY DEAREST,

Should you throw away your shot?

No. It’s FREE and primary sources are a total riot. Plus I think the makers of the exhibit threw in some sly Hamilton refs in some of the documentation.



Also, if you’re looking for Hamilton-based books and tchotchkes, the library store is A+.

Alexander Hamilton statue in Central Park

Would it be a good place for a duel?

It’s not bad.  There are people around but it’s not packed and there’s a lot of space. In terms of places to duel within Manhattan, it’s probably one of the better ones.

Is it a good place to cry?

It didn’t make us emotional and we wouldn’t necessarily cry there.

Should you throw away your shot?

If you happen to be nearby at the MET or something, swing on by, but otherwise it’s just a (nice) statute.

Trinity Church

Would it be a good place for a duel?

You know, we talked about it and we felt that it would feel disrespectful to the dead to duel there. On the other hand, at night it would be a good place for a duel for spooky atmospheric reasons, if you’re going to really go for it.

Is it a good place to cry?

Listen. We cried at  the word “orphanage” on Eliza’s plaque and the pennies on her grave and on her being placed in front of Hamilton’s and the marker next to them explaining that Philip is buried in the same cemetery but the location is unknown and at Angelica being around the other side of the church.

Also it’s a cemetery. That’s probably the most normal place anyone could ever cry.

angelica RIP

angelica RIP

Should you throw away your shot?

No, we found it emotionally gratifying to see where Hamilton lies and it connects you to the real history of real people.

Hamilton: An American Musical

Would it be a good place for a duel?

It would kind of be redundant, no?

Is it a good place to cry?

If you DON’T cry at the Richard Rodgers, I’m seriously concerned for your mental health.

Should you throw away your shot?

If you even get a shot to be inside the room where it happens, you’re more than lucky to be alive right now. So, the answer is and always will be a resounding no.

Non-Hamilton Side Trips

A few bonus places we made it to this trip:

The Best Pizza – Rubirosa

Would it be a good place for a duel?

OK you know those restaurants that are really hip in the front, then there’s a back room that’s for, presumably, less front-of-house appropriate customers (ahem, us), then somehow MORE rooms after that? That was this place. It was deceptively large so there is probably enough space to duel. Plus, this pizza would make a phenomenal last meal. Also the cruelest thing I can think of is to shoot somebody right before they were able to eat a slice from here.

Is it a good place to cry?

No, it’s like Pizza Disney. I have never heard so many people refer to something as “the best” of ANYTHING. I bet it’s an honor just to work there because you know that you are helping people to have the best pizza of their lives. You could cry happy tears like at a wedding, I suppose.

Should you throw away your shot?

Absolutely not, this was the best pizza I could ever hope to have.

New York’s Finest…. Audio Tour – Central Park

We’ve both been to Central Park, but neither of us have done any sort of a tour or read any sort of a guidebook. This time we pulled out our cell phones, resigned ourselves to racking up a ton of data, and listened to the audio tour narrated by notable New Yorkers . It’s extra fun to guess who is going to be up next.

Would it be a good place for a duel?

This really depends. Would I duel on the bow bridge, about which Julia Louis-Dreyfus made a Beau Bridges joke in her segment? Probably not. Too crowded, and a raucous group of schoolchildren who wouldn’t SIT DOWN in their paddleboats would really tempt me to throw away my shot.  But would I duel at The Mall, about which Jerry Seinfeld did not ask what the deal was? Yeah, maybe. Once I stopped recreating key scenes from When Harry Met Sally.

Is it a good place to cry?

It didn’t make us want to cry. However, if you were adjacent to Central Park and had to escape somewhere to cry, I think you could find a good spot. Maybe from the audio tour.

Should you throw away your shot?

If you have time, get there and do some sort of tour or guidebook thing. We couldn’t believe how much we missed on other visits.

All the Art – The Met

Would it be a good place for a duel?

The Met is one of the more popular museums in NYC, so there would be a lot of witnesses. But also, due to the high number of valuable pieces of art, if you accidentally shoot a bullet through a Degas, that might be worse than losing the actual duel. If you live, that is.

Also, if you are going to duel first you need to decide how much you’re going to pay to get in (there’s a “suggested donation” and we are not the kind of people who would stiff a museum, but also $25 was a lot since we could only spend a few hours there, so it is a very stressful situation for a very particular kind of person). Do you tell the ticket lady you’ll pay $0 and face the shame of it, or do you pay $25 and hope that you live to take a leisurely stroll through the 19th Century European Impressionist galleries?

PS, it’s also an excellent location to take photos pretending that you’re Blair Waldorf on the front steps. We did so for a WHILE.

Is it a good place to cry?

I think in general, people don’t frown upon being emotional and moved by art, so it’s acceptable here.

I should note that I actually did tear up when a class of 8-year-old schoolchildren was discussing a mural, and it was honestly just because this one little girl was so smart and articulate that I was just very happy for her.

Should you throw away your shot?

No! We were sad we didn’t have enough time to go through the entire museum and thoughtfully look at all the pieces. Like Disneyland, The Met needs one of those two-day passes so you can see everything.

Working on my (To)Night (Show) Cheese – 30 Rock

Would it be a good place for a duel?

No. Security is so tight at 30 Rock that they won’t even let you take a picture inside the screening room where they show you a video on the history of NBC before the actual tour. 

Is it a good place to cry?

Yes, if you’re the type who gets emo at seeing the Saturday Night Live set IRL.

Should you throw away your shot?

Meh – the tour is fine, and worth the $30ish ticket. If you plan ahead, you can get into a taping of Late Night or the Tonight Show like we did, and that was a lifelong dream come true.  The taping was free, but getting a high five from Jimmy himself – priceless.


Pop Culture Blind Spot: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Tomorrow, October 20th, we’ll be introduced to another TV musical, and just in time for Halloween – The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Unlike Sound of Music, The Wiz, or the best of them all, Grease Live!, this is NOT live. But it does feature a lot of stunt casting with Victoria Justice and Adam Lambert and Laverne Cox as Dr. Frank-n-Furter. Now I have no emotional ties to this movie/musical, so I could care less. But I imagine there are folks out there that do. But you fall into the same category as I do, here’s a post from last year, when I watched the movie for the very first time. Spoiler alert: I did not enjoy it.


Pop Culture Blind Spot: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

It’s been 40 years since The Rocky Horror Picture Show was released and for the past four decade’s it’s been a cult classic. It’s spawned countless stage productions, midnight dress-up movie sing-a-long showings and even a Glee episode. But it’s only been a few weeks since I’ve watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time.

If you’re just joining us for our Pop Culture Blind Spots series, we basically live blog our first viewing of something we’ve never seen before but we probably should have. So let’s start by sharing my knowledge of Rocky Horror:

  • Susan Sarandon plays an innocent girl
  • Tim Curry is in drag
  • Time Warp is a song. So is Touch a Touch a Touch a Touch Me.
  • I somehow confuse this show with Little Shop of Horrors in my head and often picture Tim Curry with a talking venus flytrap.
  • I guess I don’t really know the plot?

Alright, so here I am, about to watch Rocky Horror and in full disclosure this might not end favorably for Rocky fans. You’ve been warned.

Haven’t even started the movie yet, and I have to decide whether or not to watch the US version or the UK version… apparently the Brits get an extra song called Superheroes, because America hates heroism. Also there’s an option called “I’m frightened”, and I didn’t pick it because WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OPTIONS JUST TO PLAY THE DAMN MOVIE. 

I already hate these talking lips. Literally it’s talking to me during the DVD menu selection. “Everything is in readyness, we nearly await your selection”, it says to me. SHHH.

I feel like we’ve gotten off to a bad start. Let’s collect ourselves and calm down.

Did movies made in 1975 still have credits in the beginning or was this a style choice made specifically for this film? Either way, I appreciate it

The side of the car said “WAIT TIL TONITE SHE GOT HERS NOW HE’LL GET HIS” …. she got her… sex? I’m too young for this movie.
Photo Nov 07, 10 04 14 PM

I was not aware this movie was in black and white.

Janet’s boyfriend is proposing right after a wedding and defaced church property. Poor form all around.

I’ve never heard Susan Sarandon sing before? Gosh she’s pretty and hasn’t aged.

Who is this Hitchcockian character breaking the fourth wall??

Photo Nov 07, 10 05 02 PM

Janet is using a newspaper to cover herself from the pouring rain. First of all, she is completely drenched. Second, the newspaper is made out of some type of waterproof paper because it’s not soggy at all.

Photo Nov 07, 9 56 02 PM

Maybe it’s because it’s 1975, but TBH, if I walked up to a rando house in the middle of the night in a storm and this dude with the balding hair with Dracula voice answered the door, I’d be all, ‘Oh sorry, wrong house BYE’. NOT TONIGHT SIR. 

Is American Gothic a theme here

Photo Nov 07, 10 06 24 PM

There was a star wipe effect. Did someone edit this on Windows Movie Maker

Oh it’s in color now.

This Time Warp scene is like if Cabaret met Grease and they were meeting in Jeckyll and Hyde’s home office. Also, Eyes Wide Shut.



Is my DVD doing something weird because now the credits are in color, as opposed to black and white when I started this shit 20 minutes ago… OK lit’rally this movie just restarted from the beginning to be in color is this what really happens because I’m fast forwarding.

We’ve managed to move past the 20 minute mark without going back to the beginning. Never have I been so excited to see Tim Curry as a transvestite *apologies for saying ‘in drag’ earlier*. Also, Tim Curry has a huge mouth. take that as you will. I’m already obsessed with him.

Also Barry Bostwick was a babe??

Photo Nov 07, 9 55 53 PM

What kind of fuckery is this? A mummy in formaldehyde? Maybe not formaldehyde. But might as well be.

This is horrible but my other prior experience with Rocky Horror is the Glee episode, and I distinctly remember Chord Overstreet in these tight gold lamé underwears.

Guys, TBH I’m like paying half attention and have no idea what’s happening. Why did Meatloaf just crash through the wall of the Tim Curry’s Willy Wonka laboratory on a motorcycle??

Photo Nov 07, 10 08 53 PM

Yoooo did Tim Curry just murder Meatloaf with an axe

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Why is Janet sleeping in a malaria tent?

Photo Nov 07, 10 10 51 PM

Now the Igor hunchback is walking around with a candelabra and throwing the wax on the gold lamé naked guy. Honestly have no idea what’s going on.

Brad just had sex with Tim Curry? And Brad was okay with it? Oh I guess it’s fine because Janet just sought out Gold Lamé to have sex with her.

Dr. Scott is here. It is someone’s birthday. They’ve been having dinner on a table with a dead person in a coffin underneath it. So that’s another normal thing going on at this mansion.

Funniest thing to happen so far: Igor and busty maid laughing hysterically then Igor suddenly reprimanding her: SHUT UP

I’m gonna be honest with y’all – I lost interest around this point. I got distracted, decided not to pause the movie, but didn’t understand what was happening anyways and I probably skipped a a lot of things moving forward.

They’re in a pool now. Having a huge orgy while the dude in the wheelchair is watching from afar. Because at this point, why the hell not.

Why are there lazer guns involved now?

Photo Nov 07, 10 12 13 PM

Are these aliens?

Photo Nov 07, 10 13 37 PM

Oh it’s Igor and what’s her name?? Gold lamé shorts just shook his fist as he’s trying to carry Tim Curry on his back.

Photo Nov 07, 10 14 16 PM


Photo Nov 07, 10 14 47 PM

I give up y’all. This isn’t for me. I don’t get it. But respect for those who do. 

Unpopular opinion I’m assuming most people will disagree with:

Rating of Rocky Horror: 1 spear shaped lazer gun (out of like 20)

Some Questions I Have About #RepealThe19th

Just, like, some housekeeping* before we get going on this:

*Ha. I know.

  • Are we still allowed to vote for Dancing With The Stars?
  • … America’s Got Talent, too?
  • Can we keep the Sister Suffragette song from Mary Poppins? I think we can all agree that song is good.

Last thing I want is a big hole in the middle of Mary Poppins. That is TOO FAR.

  • If I choose to stop paying taxes since I can’t vote, did I just join the Tea Party?
  • If so can I wear a tricorn cap, because that would be a plus:
  • Do women’s votes since 1920 un-count? What I mean is, is Mike Dukakis or somebody going to retroactively win once we take half the votes out of it?

    That's PRESIDENT Mondale to you.

    That’s PRESIDENT Mondale to you.

  • If so, do we need to hire that guy who writes those books about, you know, what would have happened if George Washington drowned in the Delaware River or whatever so he can let us know where America should be?

    It's honestly a pretty interesting book.

    It’s honestly a pretty interesting book.

  • What happens if we retroactively un-elect some of the guys who voted to repeal the 19th to begin with? How many times do we have to do this?
  • Are we going to rename everything that’s named after the suffragettes? I ask because I live in Western NY where a bunch of our roads and bridges are named after people like Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Let’s figure this out ASAP, because I’m bad enough with directions as it is. Women drivers, am I right?
  • Wait, can we still drive?
  • How much trouble am I in if I vote? Let’s say I show up at the polls. Is it jail time or more like a parking ticket type situation? And once I’ve put my ballot in the machine they can’t tell whose it was, so it still gets counted, right?

    Also if we wear these to vote, nobody will ever know, right?

    Also if we wear these to vote, nobody will ever know, right?

  • Once we figure out the laws penalizing female suffrage, what are we going to call them?
  • We’re calling them Jane Crow laws, right?
  • Jill Crow laws? 
  • How exactly are we going to repeal the 19th?
  • I mean, I know HOW an amendment gets repealed, because it’s in the 5th amendment (by the way, you would have to use the 5th amendment to repeal the 5th amendment. That’s some inception shit there). But logistically, what chain of events could lead that to happen? Here’s the 5th, for reference:

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.

  • Women make up roughly 20% of most elected bodies (yeah, still not great), ergo at least some women would have to vote to repeal the 19th in order to reach the ¾ majority. But then wouldn’t their votes… uncount? Meaning the ¾ majority could never be reached?
  • Let’s just grab that last clause for a minute, with no state without its consent being deprived of equal suffrage in the senate. Since our female representatives are useless at voting, they’re out of the legislature, right? But then a state is deprived of its equal suffrage in the senate if they, prior to the repealer, had sitting female senators. Wouldn’t those states have to consent to that?
  • I mean, the men in those states? Sorry.
  • Actually, since they’re only trying to REPEAL the 19th, not enact affirmative federal legislation BANNING female suffrage, isn’t this up to the states after the fact? Can’t we all just live in the states that let us vote and leave North Dakota and Oklahoma or whatever empty if they choose to abolish female suffrage?
  • Do we automatically revert to which states had female suffrage before the 19th amendment was enacted? If so, lots of us are in luck (less so in the South and the weirder parts of New England, sorry.)

    Or, I mean, thanks for the local school election voting privileges, New Hampshire and Louisiana.

    Or, I mean, thanks for the local school election voting privileges, New Hampshire and Louisiana.

  • Let’s say female suffrage goes away entirely. I would guess we’d go back to that thing where your husband votes for both of you. But say you don’t have one… can I pick which man is my voting proxy, or are we randomly assigned? And are we sure that we want to make U.S. voter turnout even worse than it already is by (a) getting rid of half the voters and (b) adding GROUP WORK?!
  • Can anybody who wants to “repeal the 19th” name 10 amendments other than the 19th and the 2nd? Heck. 5 amendments. And I already gave you the 5th.

Pop Culture Blind Spot: The Sandlot

Before you say anything, I KNOW. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW.

In my defense, I think I actually have seen The Sandlot, but wasn’t paying attention because I don’t really remember anything about it. And I’m three decades old. I also confused all the 90s baseball movies (Little League Angels of the Year and the Rookie in the Outfield of Dreams) together, so it bears some refreshing. Plus it’s coming off Netflix streaming and I thought I’d watch it (again?).

Knowledge of this film:

Baseball with kids. A backyard. Something about ‘You’re kiddin’ me Smalls’.

Actual IMDb description:

A new kid in town is taken under the wing of a young baseball prodigy and his team in this coming of age movie set in the summer of 1962. Together, they get themselves into many adventures involving rival teams, lifeguards, and a vicious dog.

*I did not remember this was set in 1962.

Question I always ask before talking about one of those 90s baseball movies: Is this the one Scott Patterson (Luke Danes) is in?

Answer: No. He was in Little Big League.

little big league scott


Denis Leary is in this? And James Earl Jones?

Mike Vitar plays main character Benny ‘The Jet’ Rodriguez, and in the back of my mind I knew the name sounded familiar, but he hasn’t acted since 1997. Why did I know his name when this movie has no relevance to me? Oh, because I legit wrote about him being arrested for assault.

Mike quit acting and became an LA firefighter, and last Halloween, he and two other off-duty firefighters allegedly beat up a man. They all plead not guilty in January, but it’s unclear what the verdict if there has been one yet. Yikes.

This movie takes place in the San Fernando Valley aka “The Valley” aka where I live!! …It was all filmed in Utah.

In my head, “The Sandlot” was someone’s backyard and it was next to a crochety old lady like Ellen Burstyn in The Baby-Sitters Club movie.

“Don’t be a goofus!” Scotty Smalls but also my new motto in life.

Scotty ends up in the far outfield in The Sandlot, but when the ball comes flying towards him, he misses it. To make matters worse, it lands right next to the fence with the Cujo-type dog barking and when he throws it back to the pitcher… well, he doesn’t and all the boys laugh at him. At 9 years old, I would’ve found this funny. As a 30 year old, I call this bullying. #Adulting.

We’re eight minutes in, and Scotty has used the phrase “got into the biggest pickle” twice already. Take a shot.

Mom: Honey, I want you to make some friends this summer, lots of them.

Smalls: Yeah, I know. But I’m not good at anything, mom. Face it, I’m just an egghead.

SMALLS IS SO ADORABLE I JUST WANT TO EMBRACE HIM. He also keeps hesitating on what to call his stepdad (Denis Leary) either Bill or Dad and it’s 2QT. I hope BillDad is a good guy. At least he agrees to play catch with Smalls. Except he ends up with a black eye.

Denis Leary looks perfect for the 1960s here

Benny shows up at Smalls’ door and invites him to play ball this is the MOST TENDER.

The kid who’s in The Big Green is in all the 90s sports movies, no? His name is also Hamilton and they all call him ‘Ham’. There’s an opportunity for a crossover here. I just don’t know what it is yet.

SQUINTS: No you don’t. It’s stupid, Benny. The kid’s an L-7 weenie. <<< What does this mean.

Benny has the patience of a saint. After Smalls couldn’t catch the ball, he hits the ball directly at Smalls and tells him not to move and just keep his arm up. And then later:

Benny: You got a fireplace?

Smalls: Yeah, why?

Benny: Throw that hat in there, man. (I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO SAY THAT)

Smalls: Oh, yeah. You know, it was the only one I had.

Benny: Not anymore. Wear my old hat.

What a dream. He is a hero among boys. We all need a Benny in our lives.

“You’re killin’ me Smalls” is in reference to him not knowing what a s’more is? THIS SENTENCE IS JUSTIFIED. I know he’s from out of state but s’mores are an American (??) institution.

Basically this Cujo junkyard is described as a “true killing machine” per this Are you Afraid of the Dark? story from Squints.  Is the neighbor going to turn out to be a really nice dude IRL?

Wendy Peppercorn (IT’S Peffercorn NOT Peppercorn!?!?) slow walks through the town to The Drifters’ There Goes My Baby and I remember this is set in the 1960s. Also, Wendy is the typical babe who is probs 15 and inapprop

“Aw, Squints was pervin’ a dish.” AKA Squints was checking out Wendy Peffercorn?!

Ham also used the word “pop” for “soda”, which is not a think Californians say colloquially.

Squints pretends to drown in order to have Lifeguard Wendy save his life. I really hope kids didn’t try this at home.

This movie is rated PG and they used the word “shit”. Is that a thing? That must be a thing.

“On the 4th of July, the whole sky would brighten up with fireworks, giving us just enough light for a game. We played our best then because, I guess, we all felt like the big leaguers under the lights of some great stadium. Benny felt like that all the time. We all knew he was gonna go on to bigger and better games, because every time we stopped to watch the sky on those nights like regular kids, he was there to call us back. You see, for us, baseball was a game. But for Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez, baseball was life.” Narrator Smalls says, as the boys watch the slow motion fireworks in the night sky with awe. That is some good *shit*.

“You make your Wheaties with your mama’s toe jam!” LOL WHAT, HAM?


Benny treats the team to a free ride at the carnival. Seriously, what a dream.

Uh oh. One of them brings chewing tabacco. This isn’t going to end well. It’s so gross I can’t even watch it.

First of all, “Tequila” is playing LOL Second of all they go on a spinning tilt-a-whirl type thing and they all vom. On the other riders.

Minute 53 – Narrator Smalls says “pickle”. Take a shot.

Ohhhh no. The boys are in need of a ball after Benny lit’rally smashes it into bits. Smalls saves the day by grabbing the (Babe Ruth) ball from BillDad’s office. Prediction: it flies into the Cujo junkyard and he has to go get it.

Bertram: “Maybe the shock of his first homer was just too much for him” LOL this is a great line coming from a 5th grader.

The ball flies into the Cujo junkyard and Smalls has to go get it.

Cujo’s paw is out of CONTROL.

The boys devise a plan to fake Babe Ruth’s autograph on a separate ball to put in BillDad’s trophy case while they try to get the real one back, and it’s a real case in support of teaching kids cursive in elementary school.

Squints: She ain’t gonna buy that, Benny. It doesn’t look anything like the Babe’s signature.

Benny: It doesn’t matter what it looks like. His mom’s never gonna know the difference. This’ll just buy us some time, ya dorks!

Cujo’s being a real bitch not letting them have this ball back. What’s he gonna do, sell it on eBay? Or whatever it was in the 1960s? A… yard sale?

The dudes actually come up with a pretty ingenius plan involving three vacuums and a catcher’s mitt. That is until it blows up the tree house. Anyways, that didn’t get the ball back either.

“We’ve been going about this all wrong. I blame myself.” These kids, I tell ya.

CUJO IS HUGE-O.  Also he may or may not have rabies.

I can see why this movie was popular with kids aka my generation growing up, particularly with the scenes in which they come up with different ways to get the ball. From the vacuums to an aerial attack using a lever/pulley situation and military style robot they create, it shows creativity while making you sit on the edge of your seat

Hologram Babe Ruth shows up to tell Benny to just go over the fence and get the ball back. He is played by the diner owner in that one Boy Meets World episode where Shawn attempts to run away after his dad dies.

Babe Ruth says “pickle”. Take a shot.

Benny saves the day by jumping over and grabbing the (now mangled?) ball. Except Cujo breaks free from his chain and begins chasing Benny through the streets. Cujo even breaks through a glass window, in a movie theater, through a Founder’s Day festival and underneath Uncle Sam just to follow Benny. This is exhausting.

They end up back in The Sandlot and the fence falls on Cujo, but Smalls, being the good kid that he is, attempts to lift the fence off Cujo, and only Benny helps.

Why does Cujo look like it’s a CGI dog?

Cujo has been secretly hoarding their baseballs! And the owner of the junkyard is a blind James Earl Jones!

They all gang up on Squints because James Earl Jones says he would’ve just gotten it for them if they knocked and didn’t believe the stupid urban myth.

JEJ calls Babe Ruth “George”, so obviously he knows him. He offers to trade Smalls and Benny a ball signed by the 1927 Yankees. Wait IS he blind?? Or going blind?

You guys come by here once a week and talk baseball with me and we’ll call it a deal.

Thank GOD Denis Leary is a nice guy in this.

So we get an epilogue of sorts telling us where each kid ended up, and each one slowly disappears. It’s making me tear up a little? Bertram got really into the 60s and no one ever saw him again (lol), the twins invented mini mall Squints married Wendy Peffercorn?! AND HAD NINE KIDS?!


When one guy would move away,
we never replaced him on the team with anyone else.
We just kept the game going like he was still there.

Well, that final scene made it for me. I get it, you guys. I get it now.

The Witches Is Our Aesthetic

New month, new aesthetic… same author? Last month we explained why the 1996 film Matilda is our aesthetic. This month, I have another Roald Dahl adaptation on the brain: the 1990 classic The Witches. It has all the best of Halloween spookiness, Scandinavian middle class life and early ’90s British coziness.

The cobblestone-y Norwegian streets

The first part of The Witches was filmed on location in beautiful Bergen, Norway, with quaint winding streets and Scandinavian houses that look like something out of a Jan Brett book or Colonial Williamsburg.

Helga’s hygge-ified kitchen

Helga has the perfect cozy grandmother’s kitchen to hear a story about witches in.

Flashback Erica’s knit woolens

Very Kirsten Larson, if you know what I mean (and I’m sure you do).

Helga’s tiny bed

It seems so simple and old-school European to sleep on a minimalist, space saving bed but also I’m a greedy American and I need a queen bed so I can sleep diagonally across it.

This hotel

Look. If I drove by this hotel in real life and I needed a place to stay, I wouldn’t even stop. I’d just assume that it was already fully booked for a witch convention and keep going.

This witch’s super conspicuously witchy outfit

Very motorcycle meets Audrey Hepburn meets mean rich lady.

Convalescing by the sea

Just in general, it is 100% my aesthetic to be sent to convalesce at the sea-side when you’re sick. I don’t want to be sick ever, it’s just that WHEN I am I wish the treatment plan involved “sea air” and not, you know, amoxicillin. I imagine I’d have a lap blanket and go on strolls that weren’t too strenuous. What I think I’m saying is that I’d only do a sitting-down type vacation if I had a disease.

This Married With Children-looking witch

On the right. Imagine her trying to act like a normal human at either a New Jersey deli or a Steel Magnolias-style southern beauty parlor.

This whole Mary Kay General Meeting-style convention

Don’t even try to tell me somebody isn’t about to get awarded a pink Cadillac.

PS, my favorite witch is mustard yellow, front left.

This nice pram

This scene is seared into my memory from childhood and that’s not great, but goodness, what a beautiful baby carriage.

Cute rat children

Riddle me this: I don’t find rats cute, but somehow I find children even cuter when they’re morphing into them.

Luke as a rat muppet

An actual rat would have lost me, but this Jim Henson’s Workshop version of a rat is my aesthetic.

The topsy turvy dinner scene

…because it fixed what otherwise was an incredibly boring dinner. It gets better after this but you’ll just have to watch the move.

Also my aesthetic: cress soup.

This grand high witch outfit

Feat. the BEST hat.

Luke’s room when he’s a rat

It’s probably rough being a rat-boy, but a Rube Goldberg-y setup with THIS FREAKING TRAIN and conveyer belt and toy Ghostbusters firehouse softens the blow and sort of makes a human want to get turned into a rodent by a witch.

Keeping the grand high witches’ names in a black filofax

Both for how early ’90s it is, and how ordinary and practical.



Best of Hams & Best of Ham4Hams – TAKE 2



In honor of this epic day, we’re revisiting some of our favorite Ham4Hams. In all honesty, part of the reason we’re seeing the show on a Wednesday was in hopes we could see the live Ham4Ham show. But because they did away with them a couple months ago, we’ll be missing out. But we’ll always have these videos.

Since compiling the original list, there have been a few more that need to be added to our faves, so here they are. You enjoy this, we’ll be inside the Richard Rodgers crying at everything. Seriously. We are emotional humans.




It had been a long time coming for Broadway’s heartthrob Aaron Tveit to show up at Ham4Ham, but you know, he’s been busy with Grease Live and his new TV show and in general just being handsome. But like it was well worth the *tveit* because his surprise appearance sent theater nerds screaming all over the world. On top of that, he sang a mash up of I’m Alive from Next to Normal with Rory’s version of Turn It Off from Book of Mormon ALL while Lin played the tambourine in his T-Birds jacket. WE ARE SO BLESSED.

Happy Trails

July 9th was a day to remember in Hamilton history, with Lin, Pippa Soo and Leslie Odom Jr. all saying their final goodbyes to the show. A few days before, Lin hosted his final Ham4Ham and ruined us by reading a letter Alex wrote to his dearest Eliza. As if we needed to be any more emotional that week.

Queen Sings the Queen

It’s already a known fact we love Tony winner Cynthia Erivo, and that sentiment is pretty much universal among anyone who’s ever heard her sing before. Here she is singing Beyonce like it’s no big deal, because this is just how queens are.

I’m Not Here For You

To be clear, we are here for Renee. She also said goodbye to Angelica this summer, and for her final Ham4Ham, Lin insisted she sing Congratulations, a cut song from the show, which has only been available to #Hamiltrash who know how to search the bowels of the Internet for a bootleg audio. But here we are with a much clearer version of this harsh burn of a song, solidifying that Angelica was the truest HBIC of them all.

All The Mimis

Ever since Hamilton fever hit last year, it’s been compared to Rent in terms of the insane phenomenon that’s reached. Not only that but a number of the cast members have ties to Rent, including Renee and new Eliza Lexi Lawson, who have both played Mimi in their past lives. To celebrate this, the Schuyler sisters did their rendition of Out Tonight using the wooden rafters in place of a NYC fire escape. If you can hear that noise in the distance, it’s millennials (like me) screaming at the perfection of this video.

Talk Less, Sign More

So many things to love about this Ham4Ham. The fact that ASL is in the spotlight is great enough. But on top of that, there’s the added gender reversal PLUS our first look at Michael Luwoye as A.Ham. I wish to be as sassy speaking as these women are signing.

Welcome to #Hamilweek! The Tony Awards are this Sunday, and until then we’re going to write like we’re running out of time (sorry). Hamilton is one of the first hit musicals of the social media era. Lin-Manuel Miranda and the cast realize that a majority of the fans can’t make it to the show, so they try their best to bring an up-close experience to their supporters through the magic of the internet. Case in point: Ham4Ham. Originally intended to give people who don’t win the ticket lotto a consolation prize, it has grown into a must-watch YouTube sensation. We could easily put every damn Ham4Ham on the list, but we tried to narrow it down a bit. Here are some of the best of Hams and best of Ham4Hams:

We Three Kings

Hamilton has been #blessed with three (now four) very talented men to play King George – Brian d’Arcy James, Jonathan Groff and Andrew Rannells. The great tragedy is that they never get to grace the stage at the same time. So it was invevitable that a Hamilfan suggested the three of them get together to sing The Schuyler Sisters. Request on Twitter and ye shall receive, so Lin organized this lip sync version featuring royalty. I love this because someone actually cut all the best angles together to create the best supercut. The fandom is great. – T

Star Techs

An amazing example of the behind-the-scenes coordination and dedication needed to produce a single number in the show. Ladies and gentlemen, I present stage manager Jason Bassett calling cues with the rhythm and timing of a star performer. -M

I Don’t Own Emotion, I Rent

For the 20th anniversary of Rent, we dedicated a week of posts to the revolutionary rock musical. Similarly, Lin sang What You Own with a very special guest (still not over this). -T

Patti LuP-owned It

Whenever I’m tempted to half-ass something from now on, I’m going to remember that Patti LuPone does the whole damn introduction to Give My Regards To Broadway that NOBODY DOES. -M

I’ma Compel Him To Include Women in the Sequel

First the Kings take over for the Schuyler Sisters, then the fierce women take over for A. Ham and the rest of the squad for My Shot. There was a rumor a while ago that the touring production was auditioning females for the male roles and vice versa – it proved to me false, but this video alone shows the ladies are more than ready to go. – T


This is one of those Ham4Hams that has nothing to do with the show – not the performers, not the music, just members of the New York City ballet making my brain explode by performing on the sidewalk so beautifully that it made me want to cry. -M


For one day, the #Ham4Ham turned into #Bam4Ham, as the the cast took a field trip to Washington D.C. to perform for the president. Naturally, Lin took advantage of the setting and recorded three digital Ham4Hams, including this one, which again features the ladies of the show. I still get chills every time I watch it. Which is a lot. It’s a reminder that the story they’re telling at the Richard Rodgers stemmed from real events, not just made up characters for a Broadway show. That Hamilton and the rest of the founding fathers built this nation from the ground up, and these beautiful actors have the privilege of telling their story.  -T

Fun Ham

If you’ve read Chernow’s biography, or just engaged in some deep-Googling, you probably know that Alexander and Eliza had eight children. And if you’re a youngest or middle child, you won’t be surprised that everyone only talks about the oldest. The Fun Home kids bring the other Hamilton sibs to life and tell you a little about their accomplishments. Is Oscar Williams old enough to play Phillip when Anthony Ramos leaves (long may Anthony Ramos remain, though)? -M

Minamahal Kita

This Ham4Ham holds a special place in my heart because it was the video that informed me Lin’s longterm girlfriend in college was Filipino. And like the type of Filipino that taught her boyfriend conversational Tagalog. And that Lin is the type of person that would compose a song in Taglish (Tagalog and English) to mack on his girl. My brain exploded and all that came out were the emojis with heart eyes. Oh, also Queen of the Philippines Lea Salonga is in this too. -T


Chances are if you love Hamilton, you loved Lin’s first venture, In The Heights, as well … and this miniature ITH reunion was better than I even hoped for. Karen Olivo, everyone! -M

Funny Girl

Has anyone proven that Jasmine Cephas Jones ISN’T magic? At least a little bit?

Silky Strikes Again

Leslie Odom Jr. could me the McDonalds value menu and I’d be so enthralled by it that I’d buy every damn thing. But when you mix my fave track Wait For It with an emotional song like Stars from Les Mis – forget it. I am undone. -T


I love Jimmy Fallon. I love Lin-Manuel Miranda. They are both equally cinnamon rolls too precious for this world. So when they get together it’s sugar overload. What? Yes. Just watch. – T

If I Was A Schuyler

Tevye’s daughters from the Fiddler On The Roof (including Lin’s former intern!) make their best case for appearing as the Schuyler sisters. I’m sold. -M

Kyle Jean-Baptiste

Summer 2015: in addition to the diverse cast playing the founding fathers in Hamilton, Broadway had its first black Valjean in Kyle Jean-Baptiste. You could, and can, feel theater changing. This is bittersweet now: Kyle died tragically at just 21 years old, but thanks to this Ham4Ham we can still appreciate his talent.