We’re posting a July 4th Missed Connection ad from every state in our great nation, and a few weeks ago we brought you the first half of our cross-country Craigslist road trip. Let me tell you, it teaches you a lot about this America of ours. It’s like the 50 Nifty United States song in that sense, except with more strangers from the internet writing about their own boners.
Here are reasons 26-50 why, if America were a person, it would be single*:
does heaven get wifi? – m4w (helena)
We were friends for a few years.we watched eachother go through numerous bad relationships and talked eachother through tough times if we had anything in common it was bad luck .I always loved you and kept it to myself…then one December morning we parted ways but you didn’t make it home,I say hi every time I see your cross on the road,but a part of me has been so empty since that day.I don’t live in regret for not trying, I just miss you…and I love you
- Oh shit this is the saddest missed connection ever. The title alone – it’s like a modern take on that song from Whatever Happened To Baby Jane. Let’s all use this guy as a reason to not let your Missed Connections stay missed. I mean he loved her for years! Kept it to himself! Didn’t think it was possible, but Montana just got a little bleaker.
27) North Carolina
Thurs afternoon at gym – m4m – 29 (Clt)
We sat in steam room briefly then I left to shower and you came shortly thereafter. Made eye contact a couple times, but that’s about it. You have a nice bod, prob in your 30s – I’m prob slightly younger and in good shape wm. If you want to grab a beer sometime, hmu. Tell me what gym and whats on your left arm, so I know it’s you.
- You know what’s on MY left arm? A teardrop that rolled off of my face after that damn Montana Missed Connection.
28) New Hampshire
I’ll be your huckleberry – w4w (Newfields)
I always thought that I’d see you again You headed West as I went South
Just had weird feeling your up this way they do say Every Things bigger in texas
- HUCKLEBERRY. This lady will take you a-raftin’ down the Ol’ Mississip’. I guess. This is so confusing – she feels like she’s in New Hampshire? Texas? West? South? – that I feel like it’s a clue in some sort of mystery.
Incredible Hulk – m4m – 45 (Max)
OMG! you were standing at the bar in Stosh’s Saloon/Arena. You are a tall, thick, bulky burly man. I walked up to you and just said a few words and walked into the main bar. What was on my shirt? What did I say? Hit me up. Would love to chat in a non bar scene.
- I have a lot of business contacts in Nebraska, so I just picked one that’s almost definitely NOT one of the judges or law professors I roll with.
cute blond at home depot henderson – m4w – 55 (mens bathroom)
hi you made a mistake and entered the mens bathroom i meet you just inside the door and pointed out your mistake you said excuse me i’m in the wrong place i said YOU MADE MY DAY you laughed flashed a great smile. i like a dope did not get your number can i have it now
- Nope. Nope nope nope. Never giving my number to a man I meet when I accidentally walk into a men’s room.
31) New Jersey
went to dentist – concordia to ? – m4m – 40 (monroe)
i drove you to dentist cause you lost your License. It was a while back. You are tall older straight guy but very sexy and you like sex but having trouble finding willing girl. If a guys mouth and/or ass will do I’d love to help you pop a load. I picked you up in your developement you walk to front entrance. if this is you, where did we stop before going to dentist and where was dentist office? If I am right your initials are SD!
- Putting the “dirty” in Dirty Fucking Jersey.
32) New Mexico
fiestas – m4w (montgomert and carlisle)
To the girl at the front desk:
I just want you to know you are super cute. I wish i had the guts to talk to you. When I walked away i realized how stupid i sounded askin u if u were bored, but i didnt know how to even start to talk to you.
If your confused i was the biker wearing all black clothes, vest with patches, and i black flat bill hat.
I hope u get this!
33) New York
Its me your wife 53 – w4m – 53 (male 50 Greece new york)
I am you’re wife , we got married in 2009 , I want you to know I still love you , we both made mistakes , its are first july 4th without each other , why didn’t we just go get are own place , I miss you , I dont trust you thou , please dont stand so close to me I have trouble breathing I am afraid of what you will see all my broken heartbeats , I let you go so easy , because I wanted you to be happy , had I been there none of this would have happened ! You made it so hard and difficult, I wanted you to get help , that’s all I am going to say , not sure why you have not filed for are divorce , I don’t blame her ! Kind of hard for me to move on and date when you’re still my husband be happy , you will always be in my heart , I am not sure why you could not help me out when i needed it ! Most husbands do that , you did it for you’re last wife until she passed , you hate me not sure why . I am moving , in new York state its uncontested , so you wont need my signature .. if you have not done the paperwork I am going to file once I am on my feet , take care and be good , what hurts the most is we both has a agreement if we crossed the lines we could never go back . we both crossed those lines i sure wish you had come and got me in may .out there , one last time I wanted you to get help you were not emotionally available for me 😦
- I had hoped this would be like The Pina Colada Song – which, by the way, when you really listen to it is the most depressing song ever. But, no. I think by the time you’ve put a ring on it, the connection was actually made.
34) North Dakota
Stormtrooper – w4m – 23 (Watertown 4th of July parade)
I was sitting listlessly on the curb during the parade, the sun slowly roasting my skin, watching the tractors tractor by. Just another fourth of July in Codington County.
Until you walked by.
You were being mobbed by fans, mostly small children and their moms armed with iPhones. The heat was intense but you were cool as a cucumber, gamely posing for pictures with grubby suburbanite spawns and marching alongside a coterie of clowns. Unless they were juggalos. Your armor glinted in the sunlight, a smart white color that gave you a Messianic aura, saving me from the boredom of small-town festivities.
Eventually you made your way to my section of the crowd. Heart all a-flutter, I joined my aunt and her toddler in a photo op with you, my elbow brushing the smooth plastic of your uniform. “Thank you,” I whispered tremulously after the picture was taken, gazing deeply into your helmet. You said nothing and made no sign of even hearing me, but I know I made an impression.
- We can all go home now. I’ve found our winner.
Giant Eagle Solon – m4w – 50
About 2 pm or so today. You 45-50 blonde flower big purse looked like you were buying everything for the cookout. Stated how crowded it was.. I was behind you in line . Your very pretty and so sensual and married! Wanted to chat but feared rejection. Just wanted to say.
- “So sensual and married!” Is something a gentleman should probably only say about his wife.
plaid shorts – m4m – 53 (okc)
I watched you walking around tonight. You looked really hot in your plaid shorts and white tee shirt.
You seemed to notice me but I think you think I am not into you but I really am. You are hot and looked especially good tonight.
- Plaid shorts are many things. Casual, golf-appropriate, seasonal. In Oklahoma, at least, you can add “really hot” to the list.
yer hot! – w4w (Darimart River Road)
Kinda weird posting this, but giving it a shot….blonde K at driveup window at Darimart Thursday Thursday morning the 4th….you family? Single? Wanna go out sometime? Pooch loved the cookie. I liked yer smile. 65 WAS a very good year. 🙂
- It’s like if an old-timey prospector from a cartoon wrote a Craigslist ad.
Fourth of July Comcast technician – m4m – 51 (hawrhorne and cc)
you came in around 9am to replace my cable modem. I thought you were very attractive. I kept checking you out behind your back. (I know, creepy.)
- There’s a map for this one, and I lived literally a 20 second walk from this guy. And the only thing Comcast repairmen inspired in me was frustration and despair.
39) Rhode Island
Sitting outside the Stable Wednesday – m4m – 45 (Back patio)
You were there with friends… had grey wife beater showing amazing hairy chest, and beige pants. Your friends kept feeling you up, and you were adjusting yourself when you were leaving. I kept staring at you because I find you so totally sexy and handsome… anyway, if you read this and know who I am… and are interested, let me know
- I guess this is because I’m not a man for a man, but when I see a guy adjusting himself I think “Jeez, learn how to conduct yourself in public!” and assume that he probably also chews with his mouth open and tells people how much his house cost. Just because you were “sitting outside the stable” doesn’t mean you were raised in a barn.
40) South Carolina
Surfer Girl – m4w – 40 (West Ashley)
I met you today around 0630 on your way to surf.
Amazing young woman…. wanted to tell you that it was nice to meet you….
41) South Dakota
French Creek Guide – m4w (Brookings)
Hard to believe it has been 22 years since we hiked French Creek. Still harder to believe it has been three years since we last spoke. Not once in all that time have I ever stopped loving you.
You punched my nutz! – m4w (Nashville)
I was walking downtown Nashville minding my own business when you came up out of nowhere and punched me in the nutz. When my head cleared and I got up off the ground there you were like an angel then you punched me in the nutz again. You told me to give you my wallet so I did because I knew that you would be able to find me again and then we could pursue this romantic tryst in earnest.
I don’t normally go for nut punching without first knowing someone but I could tell this was something special like love at first punch if you know what I mean. Anyway you know where I live so what’s up. Oh and hey could I have my cell phone back too I kinda need it. And by the way my name is not Justin Otherjon and although you do look familiar I never played spank the monkey with you tied you up gave you my banana and then left. I don’t even own a banana. Call me oh wait you can’t. Come see me I think I could fall madly in bed with you. I’ve been a bad boy. Spank me! Or punch me. In the nutz.
- I don’t know. Maybe a dare to use the word nutz a lot. Maybe.
Costume party: The Park at the Domain – m4w (The Domain)
Tue night. As I left I asked, “Can I get behind you.” and I wish I had at least gotten your name. You were wearing a red corset and had an amazing body. You were very friendly and funny and I wanted to talk with you but I had just ridden 15 miles and was feeling ripe.
If you see this contact me, I want to come to your next costume party.
- Well that’s a pickup line.
4 the july…party…im ready and u? – m4m – 33 (downtown)
Hey I’m good loking guy…I wanna hqve same fun with bi guy an curius guy …party with my frien tina…so guy letm know asap.
- First of all, I almost forgot that not everyone in Utah is Mormon. Second, I’m assuming that tina is the street name of some kind of drug.
Starbucks – m4m – 30 (Williston )
Sitting alone studying at around 6pm on July 4th. I think you had on green shorts. I looked at you a bunch of times but not sure if you caught me or not. Let me know if you think this might be you.
- Studying on July 4? I’m going to say bar exam. So, I’ll repeat my advice from last time around – just do whatever it is you think you have to do.
I am a 31 year old single mother of 2. This is my first time posting an ad, but I’ve been trying to find a nice female that I can hang out with. I find myself looking at women with Nice BOOBIES and BUTTS. Is it crazy to feel like this?? The older I get, the more curious I am about being with a woman. I would love to get to know you, and I wish I could post a picture, but there are so many fakes and men on here, so please reply. I look forward to hearing from you.
- No, what’s crazy is you’re 31 years old and can’t figure out how to post in the correct section of Craigslist.
I miss you SJW – w4m (North Spokane)
I still don’t get what happened, you were perfect in my eyes… I’ll be waiting for you.
- I hope everyone out there realizes that when someone says “perfect in my eyes” they mean “okay, but not actually perfect.”
48) West Virginia
Looking for girl to text nude pics – m4w – 17 (Charleston wv,)
I am looking for almost any age young or oldish…, but please no one over 45 email me your number…
- He says he has email, so he has the internet, so can’t he find naked people there? Also this kid is 17, so all you West Virginian Mountain Mamas should know that this is just a trap to get you to make inappropriate sexual contact with a minor.
Harley summer fest – m4w (Milwaukee)
Your name is Harley and you were very pretty and easy to talk to. I was happy to have the chance to talk to and share some chicken strips and fries. In till your friend ran over and stole you away from me
- Based on the name and meal choice I think this man’s missed connection is seven years old.
You still make me nervous lol – m4w – 27 (Cheyenne Wyoming)
we met over a year ago on plenty of fish.com and then went on a few dates. i saw you today where i work and i got way nervous and walked away. if you do see this. tell me your name it starts with a K. and my name starts with a G.
- He writes lol but I don’t think he’s really laughing out loud.
*(Canada is married with kids; France has a mistress)