The Best Of: Kelly Clarkson Cover Songs

KC did this awesome thing on her recent Stronger tour where she asked fans to send in their requests for songs they would like to see her cover during every single stop on the tour. The result was fantastic, as she murdered pretty much every song she performed. Entertainment Weekly compiled a list of  all of them, but here are my favorites if you want the abridged version.

*PS: Note to ALL YouTube uploaders: It is absolutely annoying when you talk during the video and the viewer can hear every single word out of your damn mouth. Shut it.

I Know You Won’t – Originally by Carrie Underwood

Fix You – Originally by Coldplay

Gravity – Originally by Sara Bareilles

Crazy For You – Originally by Madonna

Poison and Wine w/ Duets contestant Jason Farol – Originally by The Civil Wars

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Show You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Catfish: The TV Show

I watch an embarrassing amount of television. I take that back. I just watch a lot more television than the average person. Given my real life job is revolved around TV, but in addition, I am, and always have been obssed with television. So in saying that, I have seen a fair share of good and bad programs, but I’ll be sharing some shows here that I think everyone should pay more attention to, because they are well worth your time.

PS: Watch this space, because I liveblogged a recent episode, and it was good. Oh it was good.

Catfish: The TV Show


Cat·fish [kat-fish] noun — a person who pretends to be someone they’re not,
using social media to create a false identity, particularly to pursue deceitful online romances

When I first saw the Catfish movie about 2 years ago, I freaked out because it was so good. It was so good that I watched it twice before returning it to Netflix HQ. Like those who had seen it before me, I also refused to let up on the plot and outcome, because giving it away would ruin the entire point of the movie. HOWEVER, it’s nearly impossible to not ruin it without telling you about the consequent TV show that came out of the movie.

This show is hosted by Nev Shulman, who was the creator and subject of the movie. He basically helps people who have been in an online relationship with someone, but the trick is that they’ve never met in real life. And as things get serious between the internet daters, questions may start to arise like – why the hell haven’t we seen each other IRL yet what are you hiding from me are you wearing pants while we talk?

So basically Nev helps them solve the mystery if their online beau is legit or not, and they go to their house to see if they’re the real deal. 99% of the time, they’re not who they say they are. CHRIS HANSEN, WHERE ARE YOU? jk, not shit like that. But I mean, like you never know who’s on the other side of the screen.

Also, Nev is the best. Like the cutest. Like I’ll create a fake profile for him, I will.

Pretty Like It’s 1999: Late 90s Tween Fashions — And Their 2013 Adult Equivalents

Are you a lady in your mid- to late- twenties? If so, congratulations! You were also a tween or young teen in the late ‘90s and early 2000s! Half your life ago you were part of a tween cohort in its golden age. The society that produced the Lost Generation may have been the perfect environment for budding artists and poets, but the tween renaissance of 1997-ish was a cultural tempest, too. There were just more sparkles, is all, and instead of Ernest Hemingway, it produced Lalaine and Aaron Carter. Here are some of the greatest fashion staples of that magnificent era– and a modern adult equivalent that you could actually get away with wearing today.

glitter eyes

1999 tween style: Body glitter. Like so many wholesome children’s and teen’s fashions of the late ‘90s, this was borne of rave culture. But you don’t need to be on ecstasy to enjoy a little sparkle! Body glitter was popular with tweens because it was like makeup for people whose parents wouldn’t let them wear makeup yet. I used to roll glitter across my cheekbones and sweep it over my eyelids, I guess so that people would look at my face more. If you read YM  or Seventeen, you might have learned to apply glitter to your collarbone, to draw the eye to where you hoped your cleavage would eventually come in.

Gold Leaf Eye Makeup

2013 adult style: Metallic eyeshadow. Like roll-on body glitter, this is a fun and glitzy look. Unlike roll-on body glitter, if done properly it will not make you look like you store hallucinogenic drugs in your pacifier necklace. I like the heavy gold-leaf look, but let’s be serious, I cannot figure out how to do it myself. Best to take your advice from YouTube makeup gurus.

Maddy's jeans - front leg

1999 tween style: Embroidered jeans. When I bought these (from Limited Too, naturally), my aunt told me that I should save them because my kids would get a kick out of them someday. Even at 13 I took this as a not-so-subtle suggestion that I looked completely ridiculous.

green pants

2013 adult style: Colored jeans and cords. Listen, I love my colored jeans. I think they’re great. But I also acknowledge that while bright pants can add interest to an outfit, I’ll eventually feel like they looked really stupid. Luckily, I still have plenty of older relatives who will remind me to save my magenta skinny jeans for posterity.

Example of baggy "JNCOs"

1999 tween style: Enormous JNCOs. These were probably your pants of choice if you were really into Korn and Marilyn Manson, or at least were not terrified of them like I was. These were a unisex style: I had a huge crush on a boy in my tween acting/improv classes who wore JNCOs and had a mushroom cut, which is the hairstyle that all of the cute boys voted to adopt by secret ballot in 1995. I never would have worn JNCOs myself, but they probably were really useful because they had pockets, and also if a friend’s pants ripped or were lost, they could climb in one leg and you could climb in the other, and you could share.

j brand cargo pants+cargos

2013 adult style: Skinny cargo pants. With giant pockets and a slim fit, these pants are entirely useless (except in that they cover the fact that you’re naked under your clothes). Like JNCOs, I do not wear these — not because I’m afraid of Marilyn Manson this time, but because an enormous pocket bulging from the hip area is not awesome on me. If you don’t mind adding a couple inches to your legs, width-wise, these are actually pretty cute though.

Sixteen.

1999 tween style: Butterfly clips. These were the best. You would twist back rows of hair from your face, creating a butterfly meadow on the top of your head – the effect was a little more special than a headband and just barely less special than a freakin’ tiara. Of course, you would coordinate your butterfly clips with your outfit, and they were usually a little bit glittery. Theoretically, you could use even more butterfly clips to secure a bun into a fancy updo, if you were into that sort of thing or if you had a mom who did your hair.

Woodland crown-boho headpiece

2013 adult style: Fun hair accessories that don’t look like insects. I wish that I could be more specific, but the fact is, there are a lot of great hair accessories on the market right now. If you were a butterfly clip afficianado because you found it to be a fun and feminine style, you might like a hair flower,[1] especially if your hair is long and wavy. If you admired butterfly clips for their sheer functionality in getting hair out of your face, headbands have been back in for several years and are, in my experience, less painful and less poofy than they used to be.  You can even find them in semi-fascinator styles, thanks I’m sure to Beatrice and Eugenie. If you were one of those girls who created over the top, eye catching styles with your butterfly clips, try a headwrap like this or, because you’re probably pretty good with accessories, a turban. You probably won’t screw it up the way those of us who could barely manage a butterfly-headband would.

1. But if you have a baby, or know some babies socially, please rethink the obligatory baby girl giant head-flower thing. I was a super-bald baby and my mom used to try to make me wear those baby head garters that they sold in the 80s, and I ripped it off every time. I like to think this is because I developed an early sense of when things look absolutely damn foolish.  BACK TO POST

Gay men I’d marry to be their beards

It’s no secret that I’m a fag hag. I say that lovingly, mostly because my gay friends insist that I am one. So in saying that, there’s only a handful of men I’d be willing to give my life to in order for them to hide their homosexuality. Clearly, I’d much prefer for people to come out and live their life freely, but in an alternate universe where these formerly closeted gay men were somehow looking to wife someone up and I was BFFs with all of them, these fellows top the list.

Anderson Cooper

The Anderson Coopers!!

The silver fox is of course super smart and knowledgable of the current haps in the world, but the man is actually really hilarious. He has a very dry sense of humor that come across on his now cancelled talk show, that gives me pure joy.  And did you know that he loves reality tv? I mean when you think about it, coop’s not gonna go home and watch the news. He watches trashy tv. Nene leakes is his favorite housewife which h has publicly professed his love for her before. Clearly this reason alone is why we’d have a lot to talk about at home.

Jonathan Groff

I’m just gonna say it now. Pretty much any musical theater nerd I am available for. But j groff is such a cutie. Loved him via stalker videos of spring awakening, but loved him even more after I saw this video of him with Susan Blackwell, and the follow up video at his family’s goat farm. What? Yes.

Neil Patrick Harris

English: Neil Patrick Harris at the 1st Stream...

No list of awesome gay men is complete without NPH. He literally can do anything. You know he’ll make you laugh, be a good father and bring home the bacon. AND he’s the president of the magic castle, which is somewhere I’ve always wanted to go.

Adam Shankman

Adam Shankman

I really just want to be his best friend, but they say you should marry your best friend, right? If you’re not familiar with Adam Shankman, you’re probably familiar with his work. His IMDb reads like a theater tween’s dream (i.e. me), he directed Hairspray, A Walk to Remember, and The Wedding Planner, a producer on 17 Again and The Last Song, and most importantly, a judge on So You Think You Can Dance. The guy just seems like a good time, and I just want the possibility of going to a Zefron house party.

Matt Bomer

Basically he’s pretty. He looks like a really good dad. Plus he’s a really good singer. And he’s pretty.

Things My Mom Has Said To Her 26-Year-Old Daughter

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I wanted to. These were all things told to me during a recent trip home.

– “What do you remember from your childhood?”

All of it? A specific time frame? A particular event you care about? Give me something.

– “Do Mormons celebrate Christmas?”

This question posed while we’re watching the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing Christmas songs on their Christmas Eve TV Special.

– “Traci doesn’t know how to dunk bread into coffee.”

Loose Filipino/Tagalog translation

– “Did Jennifer get married?” Me: “Jennifer Who?” Mom: “Jennifer Aniston.”

Ok, in her defense, a picture of her face flashed across the movie screen, but I’m not on a first name basis with the woman.

– “Is Sarah pregnant yet?”

Sarah is Molls’ and my good friend who got married 2 years ago, but no one should ever ask this question about anybody. 

– As we’re passing by the lingerie section in Kohl’s: “Do you need to buy panties?”

UGHHH. This is clearly self explanatory.

– “Were you scared?”

Re: my flight being delayed in deplaning because the jetbridge was malfunctioning so they had to tow us to the next gate over. My answer was obviously no, because it wasn’t the first time I’d ever been on a plane. You know what I was scared of? The two children and three adults in a 5ft radius of me that sneezed and coughed the entirety of my 6 hour flight. It was like the world’s worst game of Minesweeper.

Bonus Dad statements:

– “What do you eat for breakfast?” Me: IDK, eggs, toast, bagels… Him, incredulously: “Do you make it??”

– While on the phone with my aunt/his sister: “He was wearing flip flops… like ‘beach walk’.

WHAT. Again, loose Filipino/Tagalog translation.

The Theater Angel

Wang Theatre

Wang Theatre

One year for lent I decided that instead of giving something up, I’d do one nice deed for someone each day. I did well for the first week or so, but then I kind of made stuff up as the days went on. Like, “I said ‘thank you’ to the T driver, so that definitely counts as my good deed.” I found it surprisingly hard to go out of my normal routine to find a nice thing to do.

But one day, I was the recipient of the ultimate act of kindness, and it was something I will never forget.

The year was 2009, I was still living in Boston, and my good pal Brian and I went on one of our regular dates to the theater, because spending time together working at a theater meant needing to go out and enjoy it once in a while. Per usual, we opted for the lowest priced tickets to see The Color Purple at the Wang Theater. Now the Wang is one of the largest, oldest, and most majestic venues in Boston. Marble, chandeliers, and epic staircases – actually, we had our commencement in that very theater.

Anyways, we made our way up to the balcony – not the complete nosebleed seats – but high enough. We got settled in, looked through our programs, noticed LaToya London from S3 of American Idol was in it, laughed at that fact as one would, and I broke open my bag of CVS peach ring candy that I hid in my purse.

Just as Brian was reaching across and into my lap for the prohibited candy, a man came up to us asking if we wanted tickets to sit in the orchestra. B and I looked at each other quizzically, then at the man the same way. He was tall, dark, and handsome, yes, in a cliche way. He had a great smile and I asked if he was serious. He said “Yes, absolutely. Come follow me down and I’ll explain.”

Obviously the appropriate response to this was to follow the good looking stranger down, because we clearly won’t be killed just before watching The Color Purple, as I assume people have some courtesy when it comes to uplifting African-American musicals. As he was walking us down, he nodded to the ushers to say, “They’re with me,” in an extremely VIP way. I looked behind me at B and gave him the “WTF” face and responded with a “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON, BUT I LIKE IT” face right back. Theater Angel, as we dubbed him, led us down to the orchestra, probably about 10 rows from the stage, which you know cost the big bucks. He guided us to our seats, sat us down next to this pretty woman who turned out to be his date, and said, “Good seats, right?”

Um, yes sir. He explained that the first time he ever went to the theater was with his mother as a kid. They couldn’t afford expensive seats, so they always sat in the balcony, where the cheapo seats were, aka where we were sitting. But it was that first show that made him fall in love with theater. He continued going to play after play, made a career out of his passion, and now has become successful in the industry. Theater angel said, “One time, a man came up to me and offered me tickets to the orchestra. It changed my life. And I promised myself, that when I had enough money to buy not one pair but another pair of tickets, I would go up to the balcony and give a couple of people the opportunity I never had growing up, and sit near the front next to all the action. I’m paying it forward.”

I could’ve cried right there and then. But I had to keep it together, and could only mutter out thank you over and over again, just as the lights were dimming for the show to start. I remember we used our box office skills to find out his name via the ticket stubs, and we found our guy. Basically, he turned out to be some big shot theater producer, so clearly he had enough money to use on us.

I’ll never forget our theater angel, and the extremely random act of kindness bestowed upon us that day. If I ever have the opportunity to do so, I will absolutely bring some crazy candy munching theatergoers up to the good seats. Because who knows, one random act of kindness might actually change their lives.

Retitled: What High School Required Reading Books Should Have Been Called, According To My 17-Year-Old Self

Wakefield High School Summer Reading

If you reach into the shadowy recesses of your memory, brush off the cobwebs, and are over the age of 22 or so, you probably remember taking class notes longhand. If so, you are lucky, because there’s a good chance that some of your high school musings have made it into this millennium. Unless you are one of those people who actually backs up all of their work on a flash drive or has had the same computer for a very long time, your electronic files probably haven’t survived so long.

I recently came across a notebook I kept in high school English. I was preparing for the AP Lit exam, and made a list of books I’d read that I could discuss in the essays. In brackets, I wrote a short summary (maybe 5-10 words) to jog my memory of the book. I can’t help but think that these would make excellent alternate titles.

I got a 5 on that AP, making this the best study method ever.

Here are some of my favorites:

The Great Gatsby: [Good Parties and Car Crashes]

The Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man: [Run-On Sentences That Don’t Make Sense (Irish)]

The Once And Future King: [Probably Interesting If You’re Into D&D]

The Catcher In The Rye: [Whiney Bitch Gets Kicked Out Of School]

The Bell Jar: [Mad Electroshock]

Something Wicked This Way Comes: [Watched The Movie Instead]

The Crucible: [I Saw Goody __ With The Devil! (POPPETS)]

Great Expectations: [Cobwebbed Wedding Cake & Unrequited Love]

Wuthering Heights: [Moors (Geographic)]

Othello: [Moors (Ethnic)]

The Scarlet Letter: [Mores (Social)]

Death Of A Salesman: [Salesman Totally Dies]

One Day In The Life of Ivan Denisovich: [Reading It Felt Like 10 Years In The Life Of Me]

SkyMall savvy: The best (read: worst) of high-flying shopping

One of (if not the best) parts about flying is getting to your seat and seeing a brand new issue of SkyMall in front of you. An excellent way to waste time before you can used your approved electronic devices, the most eccentric shopping catalog in the world always is a good source of entertainment. SkyMall is known for its … unique items, so here are just a few that caught my eye the last time I was on a plane.

PS: A fun game to play is ‘guess how much this item costs’, and then be severely disappointed and astonished anyone would pay that much money for a ridiculous item.

Upright Sleeper

 “Sleep like a baby while sitting up. Innovative invention lets you sleep where you are.”

But who is actually going to have the balls to pull this out and sleep with it on the plane? 

One of a Kind Shirt

“A One Of A Kind shirt allows you to show that you’re an individual, that you’re a little different than everyone else and you want them to take notice of who you are. These shirts are great for a night on the town, frat parties, bachelor parties, stag parties or any other time you want to stand out in a crowd… Because these shirts are a piece of art, the color and pattern is not revealed until the package is opened.”

Oh people will most definitely notice you when you’re out at a party with this gem. I mean, look how happy this guy is just wearing it.

Armadillo Beverage Holder

“Our rough-n-ready armadillo, Tex, is a sure-fire conversation piece from his textured armor to his whiplash tail.”

Ross would be proud.

Flair Hair Visor

“For instant smiles, wear a shady visor with a built-in ‘doo. It’s a laugh a minute with this spiked hair hat! What a great hair-raising idea! The Flair Hair Visor will give everyone a good laugh with its realistic spikes. They won’t be able to help themselves.”

Bob over here from XYZ Technologies can’t wait to hit the links with his colleagues in this number.

Spirit of Nottingham Wood

“In the woods near the artist’s Nottingham home, old men still tell tales peppered with fairies and tree people coming to life.”

Gather round, kids. This tree’s going to tell us a story of yore. Or scare the living hell out of you.

Bigfoot Garden Yeti Sculpture

“Ever wonder where those strange noises in your garden come from?… With his characteristically big feet, our more than two-foot-tall Garden Yeti Statue will have guests doing a double-take as they admire your creative decor style!”

WHY. JUST, WHY?

King Tut CD-Rom Cabinet

“What looks like the sealed ancient Egyptian Sarcophagus of the beloved King Tut is actually a CD-ROM Cabinet that holds up to 56 CD’s on four shelves.”

Ah yes, things that are still relevant: King Tut and CD-Roms. Also, sarcophagus.

BONUS:

What item is SkyMall trying to sell here:

A) Skull Brimmed Hat

B) Sunglasses from Snoop Dogg’s collection in 1996

C) A gold chain made out of what looks like old Italian lira coins

D) A white mannequin with identity issues

(If you guessed A, you’re correct. Or the secret answer, All of The Above, is acceptable as well)

Seriously, You Guys, Catholic School Was Fine

At a party in college, a friend from my city asked me about the high school in my suburb. “Well, I lived there, but I actually went to Catholic school.”
“Oh God,” he answered, “I’m sorry.”

But the thing is? I’m not sorry at all. People sometimes assume that, because I grew up into a politically liberal adult who likes outfits, my Catholic school years were probably unbearable — a wasteland of conservative repression and hideous uniforms. Or that since I don’t regularly go to a Catholic church these days, I’ve probably turned against it and am all bitter about it.[1] It’s true that I could go my whole life without wearing another jumper or hearing On Eagles’ Wings[2] again, but for the most part, it was a pretty non-traumatic way to grow up. Here are some misconceptions I’ve run across, and how things actually played out for me:

A nun named Sister William Gerald[3] probably hit you with rulers. First of all, most of my teachers weren’t nuns. They were middle-aged married women[4] wearing adult jumpers. And the nuns that were there were actually pretty nice, usually. True, they didn’t take crap from anyone, but generally in a typical old-lady sense. And I’d be stern too, if I were them. My piano lessons were in the convent, and they had the saddest, smallest, antennaed black and white t.v. – and this was in the mid-90s. Vow of poverty and all that. I mean, you all know how we feel about t.v. around here, right?  Also they had to listen to 6-year-olds play Hot Cross Buns and Ode To Joy all day long. They had a tiny chapel with stained glass windows in the convent, and that was pretty cool, though. But having my own personal, tiny church would not make up for a sub-par television experience. I guess that’s what you get for marrying a famous guy who is also invisible (read: Jesus).

You were denied self-expression because you had to wear uniforms. This probably is just me being a nerd, but I loved my plaid uniform. I liked that I didn’t have to think about what to wear every day. Before a dress-down day, I would look through my entire wardrobe and consult with 2-3 friends by telephone to plan my outfit. There is no way I could have handled that pressure on a daily basis. In retrospect, it was nice that you never knew which kids had tons of nice clothes and which ones didn’t.  Everyone, rich or poor, tall or short, fat or thin, had an equal opportunity to look shapeless and terrible. In terms of creative expression, I had things like crayons and school plays, you know? I creatively expressed myself through clothing in my off-hours, and let me tell you, the results were less than spectacular. Lots of stirrup pants, really, as was the style of the time.

By first grade, this uniform hadn’t stopped me from becoming 39 lbs of concentrated sass.

Your teachers were unqualified, and you only learned about Jesus(/Mary/Joseph). This is the only misconception that I take sort of personally: first of all, I know I received a really good education, and second, my mother is mega-educated and is a Catholic school principal. All of our teachers had masters degrees, just like yours. The graduation standards of my high school were well above my state’s regents diploma. I started college credit courses my sophomore year, and I think senior year was an all-AP schedule for me. I swear we learned about evolution and all of that.[5] We just had religion classes on top of it. This paid off in college, when I entertained friends with Bible Story Time With Molly, where I’d share ridiculous, gruesome, or filthy stories that actually appear in the Bible. In high school I developed a theory that some of that stuff was written by ancient Israelites who ate bad desert mushrooms, etched their musings on stone tablets, then stashed them in a bunch of holy scrolls where they assumed nobody would ever look.

My former elementary is now a public school, but there’s still a cross on top, which I guess is allowed??

You didn’t know about any other religions. In college, I remember meeting classmates and friends who had gone to public school and didn’t know the difference between Catholics and Protestants (or “Catholics and Christians,” as a few maintained that the two were mutually exclusive. Ugh.). I’m not saying that public schools do a bad job of teaching about world religions, I’m just saying that going to one is no guarantee that you are better-informed than a Catholic schooler. My schools did a great job teaching about other religions, and my class even had an awesome partnership with students at a school in Israel. I’d also like to point out that (1) not everyone in my school was Catholic, or even Christian, and (2) like public schoolers, I had … you know, neighbors and friends from outside of school and stuff.

Those were the kids who got beat up in my neighborhood. Yep … okay, yeah. I can’t refute that, because that’s potentially very true. On Sundays, public school kids from our church used to use our classrooms for religious ed. Those punks used to mess with our desks every single week! They even left the cover off of our incubator when we were hatching baby chickens. Luckily the teacher checked on them right after, so no harm there. We were so pathetic that we got out our big classroom chart paper and wrote them a letter asking them to please stop taking our things, if you don’t mind.

1 I would absolutely go to a friendly, non-judgmental church! But do I have to memorize the new mass responses?
2 On Eagles’ Wings is engineered to make people cry at funerals, and vows that God will “make you to shine like the sun,” like a new car or a Twilight vampire.

This song was part of the “contemporary” Catholic music movement of the 70s and 80s. Usually this kind of music is performed by a “folk group,” which is comprised of 4-7 elderly people, one of whom has a guitar. All of the ladies have wavery old-lady church voices. In many churches, the “folk group” is still a “hip” attempt to “reach out to the youth.”

3 My parents have verified that, in the ‘50s and ‘60s, nuns with men’s names were all-around more terrifying that nuns with ladies’ names. So, if your substitute was Sr. Damian Louis, you knew you were worse off than if you had Sr. Margaret Elizabeth.
4 One time someone asked if my mom was a nun since she’s always worked in Catholic schools, and I was all, I don’t think you really get how this nun thing works…
5 In the interest of transparency, our health class was lacking. It was one semester long, and sex ed was basically just graphic descriptions of STIs, and a warning that condoms had tiny holes for AIDS to get through (maybe it was just my teacher? When talking about the id he pronounced it “the I.D.”. He was only on staff because he was a coach, and I think this kind of thing happens at public schools too, maybe? I am basing this opinion entirely off of Mean Girls.) That lasted for about a week, and the rest of the time we watched outdated TV movies about Tracy Gold overcoming things. On a related note, there were like 3-4 pregnant girls my senior year.

Doing Lines: The Best of Gossip Girl Plots

Gossip Girl poster featuring critical review

Gossip Girl poster featuring critical review (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Why did I watch Gossip Girl until the very end?

No but really, can someone explain to me why I stuck with it? I think I jumped on the bandwagon circa mid-season one, when it was bad in a good way. Five seasons later, it’s just bad in a bad way.

I gotta be honest, towards the end of season five and all of season six, I was just watching out of habit. Like it was on in the background but I was playing Bingo Bash on my phone instead, only to look up every once in a while to be like, “wait why is B doing this? How come S is in rehab again?” There were so many new characters and plot points hit in the final season that not only was I confused about them, but I was wondering how it was all going to come together come the finale.

And in the end, I was actually surprised that the writers managed to wrap everything up so quickly, and make it easy to follow. I was quite satisfied with how everything turned out, even the reveal of SPOILER ALERT GG being Dan Humphrey, someone who was not a total surprise behind the mysterious blogger. Plus, exec producer/The OC creator Josh Schwartz even managed to get Rachel Bilson and Kristen Bell in a scene together. Worth it.

But just to recap on the entire six season tenure of the show, here are some of the most ridiculous storylines to ever have made the airwaves/make me question yet again why I continued watching the program.

  • S1: Blair’s parents get divorced, her father brings home a new boyfriend, while her mother brings home the teacher from Clueless in a later season
  • Georgina reveals a man died in Serena’s presence under the influence of drugs, while being videotaped
  • S2: Nate hooks up with a married woman who turns out to be Sherry from Gilmore Girls
  • Georgina comes back from Jesus Camp
  • Bart bass dies in a car accident
  • Rufus finds out that for years, Lily has been hiding the fact that she gave birth to their one and only son years ago, gave him up for adoption, and he currently goes to school in Boston.
  • S3: Dan has a threesome with  Vanessa and Lizzie McGuire
  • Jenny Humphrey becomes a drug dealer, assisting the kid who was in Air Bud
  • Chuck basically prostitutes off Blair to his Uncle Jack in order to get back the hotel his father owned
  • S4: Serena has a new found relationship with her former teacher Ben, who later is jailed because her mom has him arrested for statutory rape, but Serena has no idea she did it
  • Georgina tricks Dan into thinking  he is the father of her child
  • S5: Dan buys depressed Chuck a dog named Monkey
  • Blair and Chuck get into a car accident where Blair suffers a miscarriage, Chuck nearly dies, and Blair eventually marries French Prince Louis
  • S6: Serena dates Matt Camden from 7th Heaven, while Nate coincidentally dates Matt Camden’s 17 year old daughter, Sage.
  • JK, Bart Bass is actually alive
  • Ok, but really, Bart Bass actually dies because he gets in a fight with Chuck, falls over the edge of a NYC high rise, and Chuck doesn’t help him.
  • Gossip Girl turns out to actually be Gossip Guy


Whew. Like I said, why and more importantly, HOW did I watch all this?