Thank You, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Guys, today is Friday, and that’s usually when I catch up on some personal stuff. Check my inbox, return some e-mails, and of course send some thank you notes. I was running a bit behind, so if you guys don’t mind, I’d like to write my thank you notes right now, that cool? Great.

Rando YouTube guy, can I get some thank you writing music please?

Thank you, Joking Bad,

For making me go crazy over the amount of easter eggs included in this Breaking Bad-inspired digital short. This proved just how dedicated, smart and detailed the LNJF staff is when it comes to making parodies.

Thank you, Funkin’ Gonuts,

For inadvertently making me (a native ‘medium iced french vanilla with cream and sugar’ east coaster) turn my beloved DDs into a solo dance party any time I hear the phrase “Dunkin’ Donuts”

Thank you, A Cappella version of We Can’t Stop,

For making me picture Jimmy’s adorable face everytime I hear “forget the haters because somebody loves yaaaa”.

Thank you, office supply version of Your Body,

For making me like this version better than the original and making me daydream about Jimmy’s hat and dance moves.

Thank you, Brian Williams Gangster Rapper

For making the dreams I never thought I had come true.

Thank you, Evolution of Mom Dancing

For letting my one of my favorite First Ladies show off her Sprinkler and Dougie skills in a matter of minutes.

Thank you, Hurricane Sandy

(But not really thank you), For being so horrible that there was no audience for the show and helping to prove Jim Jam is so talented and funny that he can make what could have been the most disasterous episode into one of the most memorable ever in late night TV.

Thank you, Jersey Floor,

For making me question whether I am DTF with guidos or if it’s just because Jimothy, Tina and Poehlstar made the overtanned/overhairsprayed look legit attractive.

Thank you, 6 Bee,

For finally letting the world see Ron Swanson shimmying to a Twisted Sister song.

Click HERE to watch the vid!

Thank you, California Dreams reunion,

For reminding everyone that this theme song was one of the greatest in TV history, despite its utter 90s cheesiness.

Thank you, the men of Full House,

For being so game not only for a rendition of Teddy Bear, but also for this Jesse and the Rippers reunion. It made me feel like I was actually in San Francisco and hanging out at the Smash Club.

Thank you, Mike DiCenzo (aka Mets Bucket Hat Guy),

For being the LNJF staff writer behind this brilliant appearance by Zack Morris. Like the REAL Zack Morris, not Mark Paul Gosselaar. You included dialogue that only true Saved by the Bell fans would get, like referencing Indiana/Good Morning, Miss Bliss, Stansbury ‘The Harvard of the West’, “preppy”, stupid slimeball JEFF, druggie Johnny Dakota, and of course Zack Attack. Basically, I feel like between our mutual love of 90s TV shows and Gilmore Girls, we could be friends. #BabetteAteOatmeal

Thank you, Weekend Update Charades

For bringing together my favorite Weekend Upadte anchors/human beings for the most epic game of charades network TV has ever seen.

View Part 1 here and Part 2 here!

Thank you, Lip Sync Battle with John Krasinski

For causing me to swoon, literally almost swoon after seeing my beloved JKras mouth the words to I’ll Make Love To You while nearly taking his clothes off. I still CANNOT.

Thank you, Timberweek,

For everything you have been, everything you are, and everything you will be in the future. I miss you every day.

Finally, thank you, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,

For providing us with five years of constant laughter and unadulterated joy. Good things happen to people who do good, and that’s exactly what Jimmy and the entire crew of Late Night deserve. While it’s sad to see this era come to a close, I can’t wait to see you blow everyone’s pants off on Monday when you start your journey on the Tonight Show. Thank you, pal.

Virtual Smash Club: Top Full House Musical Performances

If there were some sort of Make A Wish-style foundation that granted the dreams of 20- and 30-somethings, I’d put Jimmy Fallon in charge of it. After all, if you were born between about 1975 and 1992, that man has probably already found a way of making your dreams come true. First, there was his campaign for a Saved By The Bell Reunion. Last week, Fallon topped that — he staged a Jesse and the Rippers reunion. At the Smash Club. With Danny and Becky in attendance.

Actually, if we were creating an early ’90s Living History museum experience, I’d put Jimmy Fallon in charge of that, too.

Jesse and the Rippers were just part of the Full House musical menu. For such an (admittedly) medicocre family sitcom, Full House was very music-heavy. Here are a few of the best:

Forever

My high school used to hold a vote for prom song. One year, a bunch of people voted for Forever as a joke. It won. Truly, nothing says “young love” better than the song Jesse wrote for his favorite Nebraskan tv journalist.

 Teddy Bear

When I re-watched this video, I thought it was a little over-the-top that Michelle got sent to bed by three men singing in harmony. Then, I remembered that when I was that age, I went through a phase when I couldn’t sleep if I thought the rest of my family was awake. My mom had everyone create a decoy bedtime – pajamas, prayers, everything. So, that’s probably worse. By the way, I didn’t find out about this until years later and I felt filthy that everybody was working together to trick me. It’s probably why I hate surprise parties.

The Sign

When I think of The Sign, I don’t even think of the Ace of Base version. I think of Stephanie, Gibbler, and that brazen hussy Gia totally butchering the pop song at a talent show, teaching us all a valuable lesson about the importance of practice. By the way, mashup artist Girl Talk named himself after this very band.*

Motown Philly

We never really heard about Stephanie’s dance classes. They never mentioned that someone had to drive her to a dance competition. You never saw her practicing or anything. But all of a sudden, there was a massive plot point that Stephanie was some kind of semi-professional child hip-hop dancer. She was up for a master class or camp or whatever good dance kids go to. I’m picturing something like Bela Karolyi’s gymnastics training center, but for dance and in San Francisco. Or, like Abbey Lee maybe. The point is, Stephanie pretended she didn’t know how to dance because she was scared of success. Funny, because “imposter syndrome” didn’t set in for me until I graduated law school – but then, Tanner was advanced. However, once she decided to sell the Motown Philly routine, that shit was sold.

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart

Whenever the Full House writers didn’t know where to go with the plot, they were like “okay, let’s just do a talent show, I guess?” These were Michelle’s friends, Derek and Lisa, who we wrote about in Where Are They Now: Minor Full House Characters. Did you know that after this episode, Elton John and Kiki Dee wrote a letter to the kid who played Derek, commending him on his performance — but snubbed Lisa?**

That stupid lollypop song

I’ve never watched a telethon on purpose. Nobody has. However, I’m pretty sure even for a telethon, this is bad. Somehow, the Tanners had to take the whole thing over. TV viewers were treated to Joey’s “comedy,” Steph’s hip hop dance stylings, and this – a teenage girl singing about buying candy. As a child, it made me want one of those giant Shirley Temple-style lollypops really bad. As an adult, it makes me cringe for Candace Cameron’s misspent teen years.

All those times The Beach Boys showed up

Inexplicably, the Tanners were friends with The Beach Boys. Every once in a while Brian Wilson would show up at that short-lived basement recording studio they had, or on the family’s Hawaiian vacation. I think the sister-dads were supposed to be superfans or something.

Oh, also, Little Richard was Jess Meriwether’s Denise’s uncle, because why not? Full House had given up on realism back when super-dedicated Motown Philly Steph became a girl who wouldn’t even practice her guitar for The Sign.

* That’s probably not very true.

** This is also, technically, untrue.