How YOU Doin’: The Lexicon Of Friends

Let me be entirely clear. People who constantly quote lines from TV shows and movies are horrible. Still, there are those TV and movie lines that seem to crop up in everyday conversation like weeds in a sidewalk. You may try to refrain from saying them out loudbut Friends quotes are the worst TV conversation-weeds. Somehow, the following lines have found their way into my day-to-day thoughts, if not speech:

Friends Context: Joey’s revenge for Chandler hiding his underwear
Real-life context: Basically any time I’m wearing a ton of clothing.

Friends context: The answer to a trivia question about who Chandler’s TV Guide is addressed to.

Real-life context: When you see your name horribly misspelled. Also, every time my high school alumni association sent me letters addressed to Mr. Molly Lastname.

Friends context: The gang has discovered that Monica and Chandler are an item and … well, you can figure out the rest.

Real-life context: Is it just me, or do various levels of people knowing that you know something occur more often than you’d think?

Friends context: See video

Real-life context: This involuntarily pops into my head when someone mentions wanting something. Which is a lot.

Friends context: … guys. This is like the whole crux of the Ross & Rachel saga.

Real-life context: If people mention “being on a break,” you better believe I’ll be thinking this.

(Primarily the “FRONT AND BACK” part of it)

Friends context: Ross fell asleep when reading Rachel’s note.

Real-life context: When you are reading something that has gone on for far too long.

Friends context: Rachel’s first job!

Real-life context: Ever take a really good look at your paycheck?

I’m gonna have to go into the map.

Friends context: Joey is trying to negotiate a pop-up map in London.

Real life context: Folding/unfolding maps, trying to read maps, anytime I’m near a map, figuring out where you are in a strange city, etc.


Friends context: Rachel is trying to figure out how to move forward with Tag.

Real-life context: I hear the phrase “moot point,” I think of this. Every time. And yeah, it DOES kind of make sense.

Friends context: Phoebe’s brother’s triplet was just born. Next line – Chandler: Hold on, kindergarten flashback.

Real-life context: A few times I have heard of baby girls being named Chandler. No joke.

Friends context: Rachel described a man-bag as unisex. To Joey. Next line – Joey: Well, I ain’t gonna say no to that.

Real-life context: It’s okay to read the word unisex as “u-n-i- sex” thanks to this, right?

Monica: I’m just excited about being an aunt!

Joey: OR an uncle!

Friends context: Ross doesn’t want to find out the sex of his baby. Joey’s an idiot.

Real-life context: I think of this whenever I find out I’m having a new niece or nephew. Number 7 was born this week and another is due in a few months, so that’s pretty frequently, actually.

Friends context: See video

Real-life context: When something upsetting happens in a book, just think “you want to put the book in the freezer?” and you’ll feel a bit better.

Friends context: Revisiting Monica’s prom video

Real-life context: When someone says “the camera adds ten pounds;” when I see a less-than-flattering photo of myself.

Friends context: Joey is trying to fill out a form about Ross. Joey is an idiot.

Real-life context: This whole exchange (May…tember? Ross-topher?) springs to mind when I don’t know basic information about somebody that I should really know.

Friends context: Chandler has no game. In the presence of model Jill Goodacre.

Real-life context: It occasionally springs to mind when someone asks if I want gum. Also, I cannot read the name Jill Goodacre (granted, she doesn’t come up often) without hearing it in that clench-mouthed whisper: “Zhll Gducre.”

Friends context: Ross and Rachel are discussing names for Emma.

Real-life context: When a person is named Rain – or some other crunchy, kiln-y name.Friends context: A Ross and Rachel fight.

Real-life context: … whatever.

Phoebe: We ordered the Joey Special!


Friends context: Phoebe is talking to Joey, who is in London.

Real-life context: Two pizzas is, and always will be, the Joey Special as far as I’m concerned.


Playlist of the Month: Songs by High Schoolers

It’s back to school time for all you kids out there! However, the last September that we headed back to high school, Mean Girls was in production and I was the first person I knew to go back to school with side bangs.

So, it was a while ago. And while our memory of high school isn’t as crisp as it used to be, we can be sure that we were not internationally-known recording artists. As if we didn’t feel old enough during this, the Tenth Anniversary Of Our Last First Day Of High School, here is a playlist comprised entirely of tracks by young artists who were still in high school at the time of recording.

Check out the entire playlist on Spotify!

Traci’s Picks

Name: Lorde
Song: Royals
Age of release: 16

If it seems like Lorde came out of nowhere, she did. New Zealand to be more exact. She released this song in her home country back in March, and months later, US stations began picking it up and now here we are. I can’t believe how great of an artist she is and how her voice is so unique and distinct. If you like this song, check out her new one, Team.

Name: Birdy
Song: Skinny Love
Age of release: 14

I feel like Birdy was hoping to be what Lorde is becoming now. A teenager from England, she covered this Bon Iver song and blew up shortly thereafter. She also earned her first Grammy nomination thanks to her awesome song with Grammy darlings Mumford and Sons, Learn Me Right, from the Brave soundtrack.

Name: Aaliyah
Song: Back and Forth
Age of release: 14

Despite the fact that R. Kelly was the first one to mentor her in the music industry and they were rumored to be dating, Aaliyah and R. Kelly made a classic 90s R&B song that kicked off her too short of a career. I don’t think anyone’s really been able to create the same magic since her, and this was the song that started it all.

Name: Destiny’s Child
Song: Say My Name
Age of release: 18 (all 4 members were 18!)

Listen, guys. Say My Name is probably my all time favorite DC3 song. And to think that if we went to the same high school, I’d be looking up to them as they were Seniors, being all cool and making hit songs and shit. Seniors in high school don’t make classic records like Writing’s on the Wall – they are too focused on getting into college and acting like the own the school and stuff. I guess Beyonce & co. owned pop music at the time, really.

Name: Michael Jackson
Song: Ben
Age of release: 14

Oh Michael. Little black Michael. Ben was the first song he recorded as a solo artist, but was still in Jackson 5 at the time of the release. It was the title song for the 1972 movie of the same name, and even though it’s essentially about a rat, it’s still a good song. Just forget about the rat part.

Molly’s Picks

Name: Jake Bugg
Age of release: 18
Song: Lightning Bolt

Back in June, I almost put Lorde on our summer playlist. Then I thought “I don’t know, this song has been out for a while. It’s  great… but it’s probably on the way down.” That song? Royals. Clearly I don’t know anything. So take this with a grain of salt: I think this kid is really good and might be going places.

Name: Brandy and Monica
Song: The Boy Is Mine
Age of release: 19 (Brandy), 17 (Monica)

Everything about this is awesome. In an awful way. Who could forget the probably fake drama that was concocted between the teen singers?  While not a technically good song, The Boy Is Mine is fun because it seldom comes up alongside the other cheesy 90s R&B tunes, so it’s always a fun surprise when you hear it. It’ll make you want to wear tims and head-to-toe Tommy Hilfiger like you wanted to in the late 90s.

Name: Hilary Duff
Song: Come Clean
Age of release: 16

I’m really embarrassed by how long it took me to choose between Come Clean and So Yesterday. Feel free to include both on your next Playlist Of (no) Shame.

Name: LL Cool J
Song: Rock The Bells
Age of release: 17

Before LL Cool J was a man with a hardworking publicist… before he guest-rapped on a track about a skinhead having a conversation about race in America with his barista… before he was the tough yet dad-ish agent on NCIS, LL Cool J was a teen rap phenom.

Name: Laura Marling
Song: New Romantic
Age of release: 17

Even when she was 16-17, Laura Marling was writing wonderfully clever lyrics. The difference is that in those first years some of her music had more of a Lily Allen, Kate Nash vibe than it does now. This and Ghosts were released around the same time and it was almost as hard as choosing between So Yesterday and Come Clean.