How YOU Doin’: The Lexicon Of Friends

Let me be entirely clear. People who constantly quote lines from TV shows and movies are horrible. Still, there are those TV and movie lines that seem to crop up in everyday conversation like weeds in a sidewalk. You may try to refrain from saying them out loudbut Friends quotes are the worst TV conversation-weeds. Somehow, the following lines have found their way into my day-to-day thoughts, if not speech:

Friends Context: Joey’s revenge for Chandler hiding his underwear
Real-life context: Basically any time I’m wearing a ton of clothing.

Friends context: The answer to a trivia question about who Chandler’s TV Guide is addressed to.

Real-life context: When you see your name horribly misspelled. Also, every time my high school alumni association sent me letters addressed to Mr. Molly Lastname.

Friends context: The gang has discovered that Monica and Chandler are an item and … well, you can figure out the rest.

Real-life context: Is it just me, or do various levels of people knowing that you know something occur more often than you’d think?

Friends context: See video

Real-life context: This involuntarily pops into my head when someone mentions wanting something. Which is a lot.

Friends context: … guys. This is like the whole crux of the Ross & Rachel saga.

Real-life context: If people mention “being on a break,” you better believe I’ll be thinking this.

(Primarily the “FRONT AND BACK” part of it)

Friends context: Ross fell asleep when reading Rachel’s note.

Real-life context: When you are reading something that has gone on for far too long.

Friends context: Rachel’s first job!

Real-life context: Ever take a really good look at your paycheck?

I’m gonna have to go into the map.

Friends context: Joey is trying to negotiate a pop-up map in London.

Real life context: Folding/unfolding maps, trying to read maps, anytime I’m near a map, figuring out where you are in a strange city, etc.


Friends context: Rachel is trying to figure out how to move forward with Tag.

Real-life context: I hear the phrase “moot point,” I think of this. Every time. And yeah, it DOES kind of make sense.

Friends context: Phoebe’s brother’s triplet was just born. Next line – Chandler: Hold on, kindergarten flashback.

Real-life context: A few times I have heard of baby girls being named Chandler. No joke.

Friends context: Rachel described a man-bag as unisex. To Joey. Next line – Joey: Well, I ain’t gonna say no to that.

Real-life context: It’s okay to read the word unisex as “u-n-i- sex” thanks to this, right?

Monica: I’m just excited about being an aunt!

Joey: OR an uncle!

Friends context: Ross doesn’t want to find out the sex of his baby. Joey’s an idiot.

Real-life context: I think of this whenever I find out I’m having a new niece or nephew. Number 7 was born this week and another is due in a few months, so that’s pretty frequently, actually.

Friends context: See video

Real-life context: When something upsetting happens in a book, just think “you want to put the book in the freezer?” and you’ll feel a bit better.

Friends context: Revisiting Monica’s prom video

Real-life context: When someone says “the camera adds ten pounds;” when I see a less-than-flattering photo of myself.

Friends context: Joey is trying to fill out a form about Ross. Joey is an idiot.

Real-life context: This whole exchange (May…tember? Ross-topher?) springs to mind when I don’t know basic information about somebody that I should really know.

Friends context: Chandler has no game. In the presence of model Jill Goodacre.

Real-life context: It occasionally springs to mind when someone asks if I want gum. Also, I cannot read the name Jill Goodacre (granted, she doesn’t come up often) without hearing it in that clench-mouthed whisper: “Zhll Gducre.”

Friends context: Ross and Rachel are discussing names for Emma.

Real-life context: When a person is named Rain – or some other crunchy, kiln-y name.Friends context: A Ross and Rachel fight.

Real-life context: … whatever.

Phoebe: We ordered the Joey Special!


Friends context: Phoebe is talking to Joey, who is in London.

Real-life context: Two pizzas is, and always will be, the Joey Special as far as I’m concerned.