On my recent trip home to Rochester for Christmas, I took Jet Blue for the first time on my way back to Los Angeles. I’m a frequent American Airlines, U.S. Air, Virgin America flier, so taking an airline that many people I know rave about was exciting for me. Little did I know it was going to be this exciting.
2:15pm Making my usual last stop to get coffee and snacks before going to the land without Dunkin’ Donuts.
2:30pm Don’t have a seat. Need to check in with desk at gate. Hoping it’s on the aisle and not in the exit row.
2:50pm Get to my seat. It’s on the aisle – in an exit row.
2:55pm There’s a dog barking somewhere. It sounds small. It’s not stopping.
3:01:10pm Guy comes on and has a seat diagonal from me. Looks vaguely familiar. Comedian of some sort. Need to keep sneakily looking at him for clues as to his identity.
3:01:20pm Woman follows shortly behind and also looks familiar. Realize it’s Kathy Najimy of Hocus Pocus and Sister Act fame. Sister Mary Patrick goes too far back, and her daughter, holding a California flag iPhone case, tells her to come back. Confirms it’s SMP. Put together that generic comedian guy is SMP’s hubby.
3:10pm My TV isn’t working. Ugh. Have to look around at surrounding televisions for entertainment.
3:11pm Generic Comedian Guy is checking is Facebook, and I see that his first name is Dan. Finally recognize him as Dan from The Dan Band .
3:12pm Amy, one of our flight attendants, comes to give us the Exit Row speech. She also does the safety instructions directly in front of my person, and for the first time in a while, I actually pay attention. We take off.
3:15pm Wondering when it’s a good time to tell Amy about my dysfunctional TV.
3:17pm Wondering why SMP was in ROC in the first place.
3:25pm Amy and her co-attendant Sarah start coming down the aisle with bevs and snacks. FREE SNACKS? Jet Blue is great.
3:26pm Decline free snacks.
3:28pm Sarah recognizes SMP and crouches down to tell her something. All I hear is “I love that movie.” Then she goes to Dan and crouches again and says, “I recognize you too… Are you a comedian? The singing one? What’s your name again? Oh yeah Dan Band!” oh my gah Sarah, smh in second hand embarrassment. You’re not a Los Angeles or NYC based flight crew, are you?
3:30pm Decline free bev – tell Sarah about dysfunctional television, she slams my armrest up and down (high-tech stuff, guys). She apologizes, says we’re a full flight, otherwise she would move me. Offers a free alcoholic beverage or a voucher. I also decline alc. I just wanted to watch TV, really.
3:32pm Play Kelly Clarkson’s Catch My Breath four times in a row on my iPod.
3:36pm Sarah comes back to give me and my seatmate a $15 voucher since the TVs don’t work. The first time I ever voluntarily speak to the person sitting next to me on a flight, I say, “Good thing I said something, huh?” Seatmate gave me a thumbs up.
3:45pm Take note of programs I’m missing because of janky TV: House Hunters, iCarly, the history of donuts, Seinfeld, Dr. Phil, and some rando TV therapist named Bill with a large black woman definitely doing the z snap with head move to some other irate woman.
3:46pm Really wishing there was a Boingo hotspot on this plane (for free) so I could watch The West Wing.
3:47pm Overthinking why anyone would name a wireless airline hotspot ‘Boingo’
3:50pm Sarah comes back to Dan, and he goes to the back of the plane with her. Really wishing I could see what happened back there, but I’m assuming she took a picture with him. S.M.H.
3:59pm Why doesn’t Jet Blue have SkyMall? That’s like, the best part of flying.
4:01pm We start our descent. Thinking about investing in motion sickness meds, even though I’ve always been ok. But I’m getting old, and on the way to ROC, there was a lot of turbulence and I almost vommed (kinda like the six year old girl behind me on that flight).
4:11pm The dog barks as soon as we touchdown. And a baby starts crying. Good timing, people.
4:15pm Get into Jet Blue’s rad JFK terminal. I lost SMP and Dan, hoping they’ll be on my flight to LAX.
4:40pm Check iMDb and apparently Dan is from Bath, NY (small town near Roc), AND AND AND he went to Emerson (the college I went to)!! Def going to try to strike up convo if they’re on my flight.
4:45pm Spend the next four hours blogging, drinking as much Dunkin Donuts’ iced coffee as humanly possible, all while watching The West Wing. Sans Boingo hotspot.