Well, y’all – the baby the U.K. and most of the world has been waiting for is finally here. Prince George Alexander Louis appeared on the steps of St. Mary’s hospital, swaddled in the finest cloth, and held by his royal parents. And while I was grinning like an idiot watching Prince William carry the future king in a baby carrier and putting him in the car, news editors around the world were putting together their front covers and headlines for the #royalbaby. I’m assuming they’ve been thinking of these puns for a while now, which makes it even more embarrassing for those whose names are attached to the publications. Here are a few quality covers from newspaper around the world.

The editors at The Sun have probably been waiting to use this pun headline for a realllly long time.

Unlike The Sun, the Daily Mail didn’t give the impression that they’ve been planning a #royalbaby headline out for a long time. Also, is there a reason why Prince Charles is on the cover and not the couple that actually became parents? Like, does the “Prince Charles fandom” exclusively ready the Daily Mail?

Apparently the Metro couldn’t get rights to a pic of the couple with said ‘boy’, so they opted for a stock photo. And that ‘a prince, an heir, and a precious child’ line sounds like three different people. Also the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Sorry lady, but does anyone really care that you gave birth to a girl within minutes of Prince George? It’s kinda like how local news reporters find the first baby born into the new year and ambush the parents at the hospital. Does anyone besides that baby’s family care that they’re on the TV? No. Scotland doesn’t care that this couple had a baby either.

Well played Courier Mail. You get second place in Traci’s pun contest 2013.

The New Zealand Herald, however, does not. It doesn’t even make sense. You tried.

The New York Post always delivers an amusing cover, and they didn’t disappoint with this one. Who else would photoshop a crown and silver spoon on an unnamed white baby?

Oh Boston Herald. What are you doing. A ‘King’ sized baby? Really? Was this child really sized like a king??

Philly editors try to master the British slang, while also providing readers with ‘fun facts’ about the royal birth. Hey, maybe one of the ‘fun facts’ is ‘lady in Glasgow has a baby girl MINUTES after Kate!’

Again, this pun doesn’t work. Just because the word starts with a ‘H’, doesn’t make it a pun of ‘Heir’.

Why the Philadelphia Daily News didn’t think of this first, we’ll never know.

Edmonton didn’t even try.

File under: STILL DOESN’T WORK AS A PUN.

Toronto, you win. You win all the pun awards. Celebrate at Arizona’s B-Bar and Grill for me.

BONUS:

Because, irony.

In full disclosure, this is a satirical newspaper. Don’t worry, no paper is that ridiculous.