Things I’ve Cried About As An Adult

“I didn’t know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of the throat and I’d cry for a week.” – Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

We’ve covered all the pop culture moments that have made us cry, where the best and worst places to cry are, and today we’re focusing on the real life things that can trigger a single tear or multiple tears, rather. Look, we’re technically adults here, but to be honest, we can be a bunch of crybabies. That’s right, we’re women who are in our late 20s (ughh) who have a lot of feelings that are best treated with physically letting them go through the magic of tears.

For every legitimate reason for crying (death, break-up, etc.) there’a an equal and opposite stupid reason (forgetting the coffee you made on the counter before leaving for work). We’re here to assure you that our tears know no bounds, and if you think your emotions can’t be kept at bay, you’re not the only one. Here are just a few incidents that have made us cry – as grown ass adults.

  • Someone told me my shoe was untied (one of those weeks where you feel like everything is against you, from your own shoelaces to the stranger who doesn’t want you to trip).
  • That time my car broke down on the way to meet my friend for lunch.
  • Someone at the gym tried to tell me how to use the bicep curl machine (I already knew how to use it, but I’m also noticing that I don’t take correction well.)
  • My roommates being just annoying enough that makes me want to punch a wall, but not annoying to the point where I hate them.
  • I went to church wearing my normal face, and a stranger hugged me because he said I “looked like I could use a hug.” Apparently, what I could use is a different face.
  • Anytime a wife/husband is surprised by their spouse who is supposed to be in the military overseas.
  • Listening to people sing harmonies live. Like this song from Once the Musical.
  • Imagined scenarios. ALL THE TIME.
  • Every children’s Christmas pageant I have ever seen.
  • The part at my church’s Christmas Eve candlelight service when they turn off the lights and only the candles everyone’s holding fill the sanctuary with light while everyone sings Silent Night.
  • Dreams. Sometimes I wake up with a tear-puddle.
  • There were no dresses in my size.
  • My dad giving me $20 ‘just in case’. Which then leads into the ‘when am I ever going to have enough money’ downward spiral.
  • Old men dining alone. Though if I were an old man dining alone I’d probably just be like “yeah, I was hungry, what?”
  • Seeing an old couple still in love.
  • That old guy who carried a photo of his late wife with him everywhere he goes, even an In-N-Out.
  • Any time I think about people who don’t have any friends or family: another imagination-based cry.
  • When my computer is so slow that I literally cannot get any of my work done and then the blue screen comes up.
  • A cassette of me saying nursery rhymes and talking when I was one. You could have fit my voice in a thimble.
  • An old lady was really dressed up.
  • Pretty much any time a grown man breaks down and cries.
  • My nephew went crazy over a Caillou doll I got him for his birthday. Then I pictured him being embarrassed about what a “baby” he was when he gets older and I wanted him to stay a 2-year-old for another decade at least.
  • I forgot to put a mug under the Keurig.
  • I forgot to bring my travel mug with me before work and now it’s just sitting on the counter waiting to be consumed.
  • I took an accidental selfie while checking my phone. My face, when I haven’t prepped it for a camera or mirror? Oooh shit. Actual tears.
  • That time Wendy Davis supporters filled the Texas State Capitol.
  • When I see a picture of carefree, young, happy people from 80+ years ago. They’re all dead now and even long lives are short.
  • They cut my hair too short.
  • They didn’t cut my hair short enough and I was too afraid/lazy to ask them to fix it
  • Anytime the thought of conflict comes up.
  • Anytime the thought of being alone for the rest of my life comes up.
  • I stopped to let a car make a left into his driveway. He honked at me to keep going instead. My dog had died that day and I crafted revenge scenarios where he found out my dog had just died then felt real assy. Who honks at a nice driver with a recently dead dog?
  • Speaking of the dead dog, no one mentioned it to my out-of-town nieces and nephews. A year later, my brother had his dog over (who looked nothing like Dead Galway but kids are dumb). My visiting nephew, who we thought had forgotten Dead Galway, squeeled “oh, Aunt Molly! You got him back!” That was a heavy laugh over the top of a light cry.
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