Let’s All Speculate About Lemonade

Beyonce, the Queen of wig snatching, revealed last weekend that she’s releasing something called Lemonade on HBO this coming Saturday.

Beyonce being Beyonce, she’s revealed little to no details besides subconsciously telling us to quit all our plans to watch whatever this is on Saturday. At this point, we shouldn’t be surprised by her unexpected moves. From the iconic pregnancy reveal at the 2011 VMAs to the “Where were you when Beyonce dropped her album in December 2013?” phenomenon to randomly releasing Formation earlier this year, the Queen has made pulling a “Beyonce” a verb.

In fact, this time around, she’s been trolling us for months. MONTHS. Last year, she posted a string of Instagram photos of her with lemons and/or lemonade, but of course with no explanation. No one questioned it at the time because it is BEYONCE SMELLING A FRESH FRUIT WHO ARE WE PLEBEIANS TO QUESTION HER ACTIONS?

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

So while we have three more days until we find out exactly what Lemonade is, let’s speculate based on logical clues (and some not so logical) as to what it could possibly be, because let’s be honest, we have nothing better to do until then.

A new song

This seems like the most reasonable assumption, no? Or rather the most non-disappointing expectation? If she hit us with the music video for her new song Lemonade, we would be fine with it, but just leave us wanting more.

A new album

There have been rumors swirling over the past few weeks that Beyonce is releasing another surprise album later this year, this time around with some special guests, including Adele. Since she’s kicking off her Formation world tour (which she also unexpectedly announced after her Super Bowl cameo this year) next week, a full new album would be the reason she’s going on tour – not like she needs a reason.  But that’s cutting it close for all those Bey Hive members in Miami. An album on Saturday, concert on Wednesday? Hope everyone has a good memory because you’ll need to learn those lyrics real quick.

A new visual album / film

This is my true, honest guess for what her Lemonade HBO special is. It’ll be like all the music videos from Beyonce (2013) but on the TV. In trailer for Lemonade, she’s wearing the same outfit/has the same look as her Formation video, so it could just be a continuation of that theme in the new special.

The name of her next baby

… Because she’s pregnant again. She’s not, BUT what if she was and the HBO special is 30 minutes long and a sonogram video of her unborn child Lemonade (gender TBD).

A new restaurant venture

Bey is becoming a franchise owner of Lemonade, a chain of restaurants in Los Angeles that’s basically healthy cafeteria-style food. They have stuff like vegan Red Quinoa & Fuji Apples with Arugula, Toasted Sunflower Seeds,& Pistachio Vinaigrette or Roasted Chicken with Pomegranate Tzatziki or their famous truffle Mac and Cheese. Of course they have a million kinds of lemonade including Blood Orange and Coconut Apple and maybe even a new flavor flav – BLUEIvyBERRY and HoneyBEY??

A new lemonade cleanse partnership

She’s the new spokesperson for a lemonade cleanse. Ok, on the real, I came up with that idea before I each started searching “Beyonce juice cleanse”, but apparently it’s a thing and she reportedly used this lemon detox diet to lose 20 pounds. I do not suggest doing this. I do suggest Beyonce making a legit juice cleanse that I will regettingly partake in.

Mexican Lemonade

IDEK IT COULD LIT’RALLY BE ANYTHING

Blue Ivy’s got a lemonade stand

She’s Periscope-ing Blue Ivy’s lemonade stand for an entire hour. Her lemonade stand is outside their Bev Hills house and Jay’s just paid a bunch of people to drive by and buy the drinks she’s peddling.

It’s a secret Destiny’s Child project

In the Lemonade teaser, Bey is heard saying,”The past and the present merge to meet us here.” Using that as a hint, one can guess her past (DC3) is meeting the present (HBO) with a special Destiny’s Child project. And by project I don’t mean a new one, I mean it’s a re-airing of Destiny’s Child Live in Atlanta from 2006.

It’s a secret Bey/Jay project

She also says in the clip, “You are the love my life.” Gathering from this line, she and Jay will renew their vows. However, the catch is that only Tidal subscribers can see the actual ceremony. The rest of us HBO folks will have to settle for seeing people sit in their seats and 10 minutes of the reception. For everyone without HBO, you can find all of it in its entirety on that one (illegal) streaming website with a million pop-up ads. Worth it.

A testimonial movie about being vegan

Facts:

“I’ve been drinking, watermelon” Drunk In Love, 2013.

“I can’t wait ’til I get home so you can tear that cherry out
Turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out” Blow, 2013.

“He like to call me peaches when we get this nasty” Partition, 2013.

Lemonade, 2016.

THIS IS A PLOY TO MAKE US ALL TURN VEGAN.

Just Bey

Literally just Bey sipping on lemonade for an hour. And we’d still watch.

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One thought on “Let’s All Speculate About Lemonade

  1. Pingback: Beyonce Is Here To Save 2017 | Cookies + Sangria

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