It’s finally happened. You bought your Hamilton tickets, and if you’re like us, you were willing to wait for it (we booked ours 11 months in advance). You’re finally in the Greatest City In The World and by 8pm you will be in the room where it happens. Assuming you’ve already been to New York a number of times and don’t need to hit the biggest tourist attractions, you might want to take in some A.Ham-based sites. Here’s a slate of activities that you can fit in before showtime, answering the ever-important HamFan questions: would it be a good place for a duel? Is it a good place to cry? And, should you throw away your shot to see it?
Alexander Hamilton: Striver, Statesman, Scoundrel at NYPL
Would it be a good place for a duel?
NO. It is very small and crowded, which means you would hit somebody, A, and also couldn’t get the requisite steps apart, B.
Is it a good place to cry?
Pretty good, yeah. We both got emotional looking at a letter from Alexander to Eliza strictly because an informational plaque contained the word “orphanage.” Also libraries are quiet and respectful, so it sort of feels like crying at church which is not at all an unusual comparison to make, right?
a letter from alex to angelica aka MY DEAREST,
Should you throw away your shot?
No. It’s FREE and primary sources are a total riot. Plus I think the makers of the exhibit threw in some sly Hamilton refs in some of the documentation.
THE REYNOLDS PAMPHLET
Also, if you’re looking for Hamilton-based books and tchotchkes, the library store is A+.
Alexander Hamilton statue in Central Park
Would it be a good place for a duel?
It’s not bad. There are people around but it’s not packed and there’s a lot of space. In terms of places to duel within Manhattan, it’s probably one of the better ones.
Is it a good place to cry?
It didn’t make us emotional and we wouldn’t necessarily cry there.
Should you throw away your shot?
If you happen to be nearby at the MET or something, swing on by, but otherwise it’s just a (nice) statute.
Trinity Church
Would it be a good place for a duel?
You know, we talked about it and we felt that it would feel disrespectful to the dead to duel there. On the other hand, at night it would be a good place for a duel for spooky atmospheric reasons, if you’re going to really go for it.
Is it a good place to cry?
Listen. We cried at the word “orphanage” on Eliza’s plaque and the pennies on her grave and on her being placed in front of Hamilton’s and the marker next to them explaining that Philip is buried in the same cemetery but the location is unknown and at Angelica being around the other side of the church.
Also it’s a cemetery. That’s probably the most normal place anyone could ever cry.
angelica RIP
Should you throw away your shot?
No, we found it emotionally gratifying to see where Hamilton lies and it connects you to the real history of real people.
Hamilton: An American Musical
Would it be a good place for a duel?
It would kind of be redundant, no?
Is it a good place to cry?
If you DON’T cry at the Richard Rodgers, I’m seriously concerned for your mental health.
Should you throw away your shot?
If you even get a shot to be inside the room where it happens, you’re more than lucky to be alive right now. So, the answer is and always will be a resounding no.
Non-Hamilton Side Trips
A few bonus places we made it to this trip:
The Best Pizza – Rubirosa
Would it be a good place for a duel?
OK you know those restaurants that are really hip in the front, then there’s a back room that’s for, presumably, less front-of-house appropriate customers (ahem, us), then somehow MORE rooms after that? That was this place. It was deceptively large so there is probably enough space to duel. Plus, this pizza would make a phenomenal last meal. Also the cruelest thing I can think of is to shoot somebody right before they were able to eat a slice from here.
Is it a good place to cry?
No, it’s like Pizza Disney. I have never heard so many people refer to something as “the best” of ANYTHING. I bet it’s an honor just to work there because you know that you are helping people to have the best pizza of their lives. You could cry happy tears like at a wedding, I suppose.
Should you throw away your shot?
Absolutely not, this was the best pizza I could ever hope to have.
New York’s Finest…. Audio Tour – Central Park
We’ve both been to Central Park, but neither of us have done any sort of a tour or read any sort of a guidebook. This time we pulled out our cell phones, resigned ourselves to racking up a ton of data, and listened to the audio tour narrated by notable New Yorkers . It’s extra fun to guess who is going to be up next.
Would it be a good place for a duel?
This really depends. Would I duel on the bow bridge, about which Julia Louis-Dreyfus made a Beau Bridges joke in her segment? Probably not. Too crowded, and a raucous group of schoolchildren who wouldn’t SIT DOWN in their paddleboats would really tempt me to throw away my shot. But would I duel at The Mall, about which Jerry Seinfeld did not ask what the deal was? Yeah, maybe. Once I stopped recreating key scenes from When Harry Met Sally.
Is it a good place to cry?
It didn’t make us want to cry. However, if you were adjacent to Central Park and had to escape somewhere to cry, I think you could find a good spot. Maybe from the audio tour.
Should you throw away your shot?
If you have time, get there and do some sort of tour or guidebook thing. We couldn’t believe how much we missed on other visits.
All the Art – The Met
Would it be a good place for a duel?
The Met is one of the more popular museums in NYC, so there would be a lot of witnesses. But also, due to the high number of valuable pieces of art, if you accidentally shoot a bullet through a Degas, that might be worse than losing the actual duel. If you live, that is.
Also, if you are going to duel first you need to decide how much you’re going to pay to get in (there’s a “suggested donation” and we are not the kind of people who would stiff a museum, but also $25 was a lot since we could only spend a few hours there, so it is a very stressful situation for a very particular kind of person). Do you tell the ticket lady you’ll pay $0 and face the shame of it, or do you pay $25 and hope that you live to take a leisurely stroll through the 19th Century European Impressionist galleries?
PS, it’s also an excellent location to take photos pretending that you’re Blair Waldorf on the front steps. We did so for a WHILE.
Is it a good place to cry?
I think in general, people don’t frown upon being emotional and moved by art, so it’s acceptable here.
I should note that I actually did tear up when a class of 8-year-old schoolchildren was discussing a mural, and it was honestly just because this one little girl was so smart and articulate that I was just very happy for her.
Should you throw away your shot?
No! We were sad we didn’t have enough time to go through the entire museum and thoughtfully look at all the pieces. Like Disneyland, The Met needs one of those two-day passes so you can see everything.
Working on my (To)Night (Show) Cheese – 30 Rock
Would it be a good place for a duel?
No. Security is so tight at 30 Rock that they won’t even let you take a picture inside the screening room where they show you a video on the history of NBC before the actual tour.
Is it a good place to cry?
Yes, if you’re the type who gets emo at seeing the Saturday Night Live set IRL.
Should you throw away your shot?
Meh – the tour is fine, and worth the $30ish ticket. If you plan ahead, you can get into a taping of Late Night or the Tonight Show like we did, and that was a lifelong dream come true. The taping was free, but getting a high five from Jimmy himself – priceless.
Cookies + Sangria 