The world is full of bad ideas. About 10% of those are bad business ideas. And about 99% of THOSE originated from terrible puns. Here are just some of the terrible – but punny – business ideas I’ve thought of lately:
One Trick Ponytails
Salon that just does ponytails but they’re really good at it.
Lickety Splits
Banana splits in a cone.
RoTots
Toddler robots. Disobedient and really stubborn. Leave fingerprints everywhere. Hands always a bit moist.
HogsMediation
Couples therapy for couples who think they are from different Hogwarts houses – can a Slytherin-Hufflepuff marriage survive?
¡Pasta Ya!
All-you-can-eat pasta. It comes out of dispensers, like soft-serve ice cream. Pasta pasta pasta. Sauce everywhere. It comes in dispensers too. Like ketchup does. But it’s sauce.
Puppy Tents
It’s a pup tent, but for dogs. Like a dog house, but one that your dog will immediately knock over.
Baby Baby Boomers
A baby clothing boutique where all of the clothes make the babies look like tiny 60-year-olds. If you’re hipster enough to name your baby Barbara or Linda or Ron, you’re hipster enough to shop here.
Li-Beary
A library, but where a child can check out teddy bears. Everyone will surely get bed bugs.
Or: a library, but where an adult can check out actual bears. Insect infestations are really the least of your worries.
Dime A Dozen
This is a cheap but very specific sort of dime store, where they only sell things that you can get a dozen for for a dime. It’s mostly bulk bins full of things like individual Skittles, dried spaghetti, and dog kibble, for instance. You’re going to hate painstakingly counting out everything in denominations of 12, but not as much as your cashier will!
A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words
It’s like a photo studio, but instead a “word-artist” will write a 1000-word essay about the impression they get from your family. You ever wondered how someone would describe you in a magazine celebrity profile – those kinds where they make much ado about what an actress orders for lunch? Now you don’t have to, I guess.
Prime Time Flies
Imagine a public living-room type set up where you can watch TV with strangers, sort of like your college dorm’s common room that nobody used. Okay, but instead of playing regular TV, it plays the exact prime-time lineup of whatever day it is… but from times past. Including commercials. Will you get a classic ’90s TGIF night, or a classic ’90s SNICK night, or a classic ’90s Must See TV night? Sure, it COULD be from any era, but they know what people like.
Cookies + Sangria 