Taste of a Poison Paradise: Best of Britney Spears Covers

IT’S THE PRINCESS OF POP’S BIRTHDAY TODAY, Y’ALL!!

Brit Brit turns 32 years old today, and my what a life she’s had. Let’s put aside our dark memories of B circa 2007-2010 and focus on the good things. Whatever side you’re on of the spectrum of hating and loving Britney, you can’t deny how much of an impact she’s made on pop music. Let’s be real – she’s the closest thing our generation has to a Madonna or Michael Jackson. From dance moves to music videos to belting out her songs at the top of your lungs and maybe wondering why you know all the lyrics, Britney has managed to become of of the most influential artists of all time, whether you realize it or not. You think pop star, and you think Britney Spears.

And because imitation is the highest form of flattery, many an artist has attempted to cover Brit Brit’s catchy tunes over the years, but few have succeeded. In honor of one of my personal favorites, here are a few select covers of some of Britney’s most popular songs. Happy birthday Britney Jean!

Toxic by Alex & Sierra

As you can tell by this video, Alex and Sierra are a super cute couple who are currently vying for the (5?) million dollar record deal  on The X Factor. This was their very first audition and frankly, it’s probably my favorite cover of Toxic. Their voices blend so beautifully that’s it’s annoying. Plus they’re genuinely adorable.

Toxic by Melanie Martinez

Can you tell I used to watch/write about reality TV for a living? This is teenager Melanie Martinez who was a finalist on The Voice. Like Alex & Sierra, this was her audition song and blew the judges away, especially Adam Levine, who scooped her up on his team. Trust me, her singing is better than her choice of hair due.

Everytime by Kelly Clarkson

Queen Kelly Clarkson spend her entire summer tour covering a fan requested song each night, and the people of Las Vegas got a treat when she sang B’s most emotional song, Everytime. Honestly, KC can do no wrong.

Everytime by Glen Hansard

You might now Glen Hansard as the guy from Once or The Swell Season, but he’s apparently also a member of the Britney Spears Appreciation Fan Club. Who knew?

Gimme More by Sia

Listen. B obviously had some difficult times, but to be honest, the album she made during said dark ages, Blackout, is actually a really good record. The lead single is fantastic which is why it’s no surprise one of the most acclaimed singer/songwriters, Sia, decided to sing it with her beautiful, haunting voice.

Womanizer by Lily Allen

Is it just me or does Womanizer just sound like it should have been be sung by a British in the first place? Or should I say WomaniSer???

Circus/Just Dance by Boyce Avenue

Boyce Avenue is a band that made it big after posting covers of songs on YouTube and this is just one of the great versions of popular songs they’ve done. They’re really good at mashups, sometimes even better than Glee. Usually better than Glee.

Hold it Against Me by Sam Tsui

Yet another YouTube sensation, Sam has a voice that is smooth and pitch perfect and kind of sounds like he belongs in a Disney movie. This cover was so popular that it even was featured on Ms. Spears’ official website. If that’s not a stamp of approval, idk what is.

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Playlist of the Month: Songs for Single People

Welcome to the inaugural Playlist of the Month post! Every month, we’ll present to you some jams that go along with a common theme, but are also top-notch tunes. This month, in honor of everyone’s favorite (least favorite) holiday, Valentine’s Day, we present to you our top songs for single people on this, the day of love.

PS: If you want to listen to all these songs, check out the playlist on Spotify HERE!!! Enjoy 🙂

Traci’s Picks

Me, Myself, and I – Beyonce

Queen Bey has a knack for those independent women songs (see: Independent Women Part 2), and this is no exception. If you’re just getting out of a relationship or just plain old single, B reminds us that a lot of times in life, the only person you can rely and trust on is you.

I realized I got Me myself and I, That’s all I got in the end, that’s what I found out.  And it ain’t no need to cry, I took a vow that from now on I’m gonna be my own best friend.

The More Boys I Meet – Carrie Underwood

I actually used to hate this song, because it’s a typical country, tractors and beer type of storytelling song. But the more I listened to it, the more I liked it, and appreciated it for its sheer ridiculousness and earnest lyrics. Well of course you’re going to meet your fair share of useless men, so find companionship elsewhere.

It’s not like I’m not trying, cause I’ll give anyone a shot once… And I close my eyes, and I kiss that frog. Each time finding the more boys I meet, the more I love my dog.

Desire – Ryan Adams

For those looking for a good wallowing song, sorry about your life, but here’s a tune to help you out. If you want a real “kick you in the gut – forever alone – crying into your extra large glass of wine” song, this is the one for you.

You know me. You don’t mind waiting. You just can’t show me, but God I’m praying, that you’ll find me, and that you’ll see me, that you run and never tire.

Some Things Never Seem to Fucking Work – Solange

We fall in love, we fall out of love, and some things are never meant to be. My motto has always been, everything happens for a reason, because I really like cliches (not really, I’m just a victim to believing it to be true). But Solange puts it best in a very blatant way. Not everything can go your way. Deal, move on, find something better.

I’m thinking of some time off. I’m dreaming of a time that you knew me. So maybe then we’re better off So maybe if it’s all you wanted it. Leave me alone. Some things never seem to fucking work.

Fuck You – Lily Allen

Pretty sure this is self explanatory.

Fuck you. Fuck you very, very much. Cause your words don’t translate, and it’s getting quite late, so please don’t stay in touch.

Molly’s Picks

Marriage Is For Old Folks – Nina Simone

I have married friends and relatives who are (a) not old folks and (b) very happy, but you know what? If they’re allowed to spend all of today talking about how happy they are with their lives, we’re allowed to discuss how happy we are not to be married right now, too. Also, couples get all of the jazzy, old-timey songs today, so here’s one for the rest of us.

Marriage is for old folks/ Cold folks, not for me/ One married he, one married she/ Whaddya got? Two people watchin’ TV

My Life – Billy Joel

I love Billy Joel as much as Billy Joel loves crashing his car into private residences, which he must like a lot because he did it like three times. This is a classic, late-70s, ‘I’ll do what I want and don’t even try to tell me what to do’ anthem (in Billy’s case, what he wants to do is marry much younger women and engage in some reckless driving. Don’t judge).

I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life, Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

Runaway – Kanye West

The theme of most Valentines-y songs is “I’m so wonderful, you’re so wonderful, let’s be so wonderful together!” But what if you’re not wonderful? And what if you’re single because you think nobody should have to put up with you? Yeezy addresses this sentiment.

Let’s have a toast for the douchebags/ Let’s have a toast for the assholes, Let’s have a toast for the scumbags,/ Every one of them that I know/ Let’s have a toast for the jerkoffs/ That’ll never take work off/ Baby, I got a plan/ Run away fast as you can

A Cause des Garcons – Yelle

Every once in a while, my inner 12-year-old isn’t above listening to a good, old-fashioned, ‘boys suck’-themed pop tune. Particularly when it’s a French electropop cover of an ’80s novelty song.

À cause des garçons !/ On met des bas nylon/ On se crêpe le chignon/ À cause des garçons !/ Et du “qu’en dira-t-on”/ On pleure sur tous les tons/ À cause des garçons !

I’m Good I’m Gone – Lykke Li

Lykke Li brought us the messy bun on the tippy-top of her head long before anyone was doing that. As an aside, I had my hair like that at work and everyone treated me very gently, as though I might be hungover. Anyway, this song is all about leaving your haters and unsupportive gentleman friends in the dust, because you’re a hard worker on your way up in the world.

If you say I aim too high from down below, Well, say you’re not ’cause when I’m gone, You’ll be callin’ but I won’t be at the phone