After one long year, the cast of WoWP have reunited for a TV movie. It’s been a long year, let me tell you guys. But really, was this reunion necessary? Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter, because here I am, live blogging it on a Friday night. I’m a party animal, y’all!

For a brief recap: We last saw our wizards competing in the family wizard tournament. Justin (David Henrie) was a shoe-in because he’s the smartest of the fam, but right before the finish line, Justin got his foot stuck in a random tree branch that was protruding out of a cave wall. Right behind him was Alex, managed to avoid said branch, and was about to win the tourney but decided to help her brother out and let him be the fam wizard. Justin raced ahead, and officially won, but he was all, ‘no I don’t deserve this Alex does’, so she got to be the family wizard instead. But as a consolation prize, Justin was hired to be a professor at Wiz Tech school, and Max, who usually got the short end of the stick, got the family sub station restaurant.

And so we begin…

:01 I’m already missing David Henrie. He really couldn’t get it together to be in this?

:02 Oh no! Alex has been charged with treason for trying to ruin the mortal world. And sassy Alex is back, y’all!

:03 I’m confused about the timeline in this. Is this right after the competition?

:05 Justin sends his ‘friend’ Dominic to say he can’t come home for the party celebrating his professorship at the Wizard school, WizTech. Friend, huh? Is this a Dumbledore situation?

:07 They’re going to Italy? Did I know this? Can’t believe Justin’s missing this. Alex creates a door to Villa di Russo, where there’s a hot girl that Max decides to run after. Subsequently, the rest of the family + Harper follows.

:10 “There are no Italians in New York!” – Max, still stupid.

:12 “Where everyone else sees trouble, I see magic. And Beauty.” – Dominic, who is hitting on Alex, and is also the kid from MTV’s Awkward. British werewolf Mason/Gregg Sulkin comes in all pouty because he realizes Alex is being super selfish with her magic, even though she turned his lame picnic into a bucket of chicken.

:15 “Why is everything you’re wearing is from the 90s? – Alex “Oh, but when you guys wear it it’s vintage?” – Jerry

:17 The Alex/Harper BFF relationship has always been my favorite. And it’s like they never went away. Harper is back to wearing odd clambake outfits and Alex has a library full of quips.

:18 Alex conjures a spell to get all her mean parts out of her because her family keeps calling her selfish, but per usual, the spell doesn’t quite work and an evil Alex appears in the mirror (hence the title, Alex vs. Alex). Mean Alex screams, “Let me out of here you ugly hags!” DID SHE REALLY SAY ‘HAGS’ ON THE DIS CHAN?

:21 Max is chasing after a hot girl, who turns out to be his cousin. Whoops.

:24 I am loving Evil Alex’s yellow blazer! Even if she captured Max, made him 2 inches tall, put him in a vial which she carries around in a charm bracelet. I’m gonna go ahead and assume she manages to capture all the other members of her family, until it’s a showdown between her and the final vial inhabitant: Good Alex. $10 bucks, internet.

:25 This is turning into an I Love Lucy episode with Jerry and Teresa stomping grapes in a huge barrel. Oh and they disappeared – into EA’s vial. Oh shiiiiit Awkward Dominic is in cahoots with EA! How? Why?

:29 “Dominic is evil?” – Good Alex “Is it weird he’s even more attractive now?” – Harper. Girl gets it.

:30 AwkDom created a machine (the Dominic 1000) capture every mortal wizard so he can rule the evil wizard world. Naturally.

:36 AwkDom’s next target is Alex’s BF, Mason, and he gets caught in between EA & GA, but decides to trust the evil one instead, and she puts him in a vial too. And now she’s wearing this weird cape thing. Should’ve stuck with the blazer.

:38 “People should appreciate you for who you are. Not who they think you should be.” Harper, doling out life lessons since ’07.

:40 The random streak in EA hair that’s been shown in all the ads isn’t as prominent in the movie as I thought. Also why is it white?

:41 AwkDom makes Alex do the spell that will make the Dominic 1000 work, so now every mortal wizard from around the world is being captured in weird beads. She gets the vial bracelet back but just as she’s about to reverse the spell, we flash forward to the crystals of justice form the beginning of the movie who find her guilty of treason, and sentencing her to death. At first Alex thinks he ordered her a week banned from sweets, but it was the wrong sentencing. Then he changed to death, which Alex said, “Death by chocolate?” “No. Death by death.”

:45 Mason escapes the vial after AwkDom stupidly breaks it himself. He turns himself into a werewolf to help her escape, and it works.

:47 EA and GA are literally having a Harry Potter-like showdown right now. And now Selena is beating up herself. Wonder if she was taking out all her Bieber agression this way…

:51 GA is doing some gymnastic type moves up in here. literally upside down in the air. AwkDom drops the vial bracelet off the edge of the Leaning Tower of Pisa (where he placed his machine). But Mason comes to the rescue when AwkDom tries to get GA to to join him, and pushes him over the edge. Guys, there’s a dead wizard at the bottom of the Tower of Pisa. There has GOT to be some tourist taking a pic who is so confused right now.

:54 Alex just cast a spell that not only saved the world, but took away her powers at the same time. In front of the Crystal jury, her guilty verdict was overturned, and they refused to give her the powers back of all the previous times she almost ruined the world. Alex states that Harper is the only one who accepts her for her flaws and deems HArper all the magic she needs. Aw. And just as they walk away without her powers, she gets her magic back because she’s proved she’s mature with the whole I love Harper speech.

:59 And that’s a wrap folks! It ends with bloopers, which are my favorite. If you ever need a pick me up, just search for bloops on YouTube (Friends, HIMYM, The Office are some of my faves). Also there’s a preview for a DCOM called Teen Beach Movie which is like Grease meets West Side Story meets HSM…. I think I’ve hit the age appropriate limit for these things.