Doing Lines: The Best of Gossip Girl Plots

Gossip Girl poster featuring critical review

Gossip Girl poster featuring critical review (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Why did I watch Gossip Girl until the very end?

No but really, can someone explain to me why I stuck with it? I think I jumped on the bandwagon circa mid-season one, when it was bad in a good way. Five seasons later, it’s just bad in a bad way.

I gotta be honest, towards the end of season five and all of season six, I was just watching out of habit. Like it was on in the background but I was playing Bingo Bash on my phone instead, only to look up every once in a while to be like, “wait why is B doing this? How come S is in rehab again?” There were so many new characters and plot points hit in the final season that not only was I confused about them, but I was wondering how it was all going to come together come the finale.

And in the end, I was actually surprised that the writers managed to wrap everything up so quickly, and make it easy to follow. I was quite satisfied with how everything turned out, even the reveal of SPOILER ALERT GG being Dan Humphrey, someone who was not a total surprise behind the mysterious blogger. Plus, exec producer/The OC creator Josh Schwartz even managed to get Rachel Bilson and Kristen Bell in a scene together. Worth it.

But just to recap on the entire six season tenure of the show, here are some of the most ridiculous storylines to ever have made the airwaves/make me question yet again why I continued watching the program.

  • S1: Blair’s parents get divorced, her father brings home a new boyfriend, while her mother brings home the teacher from Clueless in a later season
  • Georgina reveals a man died in Serena’s presence under the influence of drugs, while being videotaped
  • S2: Nate hooks up with a married woman who turns out to be Sherry from Gilmore Girls
  • Georgina comes back from Jesus Camp
  • Bart bass dies in a car accident
  • Rufus finds out that for years, Lily has been hiding the fact that she gave birth to their one and only son years ago, gave him up for adoption, and he currently goes to school in Boston.
  • S3: Dan has a threesome with  Vanessa and Lizzie McGuire
  • Jenny Humphrey becomes a drug dealer, assisting the kid who was in Air Bud
  • Chuck basically prostitutes off Blair to his Uncle Jack in order to get back the hotel his father owned
  • S4: Serena has a new found relationship with her former teacher Ben, who later is jailed because her mom has him arrested for statutory rape, but Serena has no idea she did it
  • Georgina tricks Dan into thinking  he is the father of her child
  • S5: Dan buys depressed Chuck a dog named Monkey
  • Blair and Chuck get into a car accident where Blair suffers a miscarriage, Chuck nearly dies, and Blair eventually marries French Prince Louis
  • S6: Serena dates Matt Camden from 7th Heaven, while Nate coincidentally dates Matt Camden’s 17 year old daughter, Sage.
  • JK, Bart Bass is actually alive
  • Ok, but really, Bart Bass actually dies because he gets in a fight with Chuck, falls over the edge of a NYC high rise, and Chuck doesn’t help him.
  • Gossip Girl turns out to actually be Gossip Guy

Whew. Like I said, why and more importantly, HOW did I watch all this?

One thought on “Doing Lines: The Best of Gossip Girl Plots

  1. Pingback: Doing Lines: The Best of Grey’s Anatomy Medical Cases | cookies + sangria

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