So Your Mayor Smoked Crack

This week, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admitted that he was guilty of smoking crack cocaine while in office – but refused to resign. He said:

“Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine. But no, do I — am I an addict? No. Have I tried it? Probably, in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago.” {x}

Apparently, he had been denying this accusation for the past six months, but enough was enough and he finally told the God’s honest truth. That, and he said journalists weren’t asking the ‘correct questions.’ Honestly, the correct question didn’t come up in six months? Ok Robby.

But hey. Listen, we all make mistakes. One time I ordered a plate of cheese slices for dinner in Spain, when I thought they were going to be scrumptious empanadas. This is the same situation.

In fact, I applaud Mayor Ford for finally coming clean. First of all, it takes a lot of guts for a person in public office to admit to their constituents that they’ve doing something wrong that could potentially be used against them and their career. Second of all, if he really only did crack that one time, no harm, no foul, right? Third of all, it’s about damn time Canada and Canadian politicians got in to some trouble! These U.S. folks are getting all the attention, it’s about time our neighbors to the north had a little political shakeup.

Also, let’s face it, there are worst things that a Mayor could do. So buck up, Toronto. Grab some Timbits and head to the Eaton Centre for some stress relief shopping because life with a crack Mayor isn’t that bad.

People that are worse than Rob ‘Mayor of Crack’ Ford:

Idi Amin

Note that this photo is NOT of the real Idi Amin, but rather Forest Whitaker in the Last King of Scotland, and he won a Best Actor Oscar for playing Idi Amin. This is how I learn history.

Basically any tyrannical political leader who did more harm than help for their people is worse than Mayor McCrackerton. Obvi Hitler is an obvious choice, but he always trumps everyone for being the worst, so I thought I’d shake it up a little.

For those who need a quick history lesson, Idi Amin was the President of Uganda in the 1970s, and notorious for his obscene rule over the country, which included corruption, human rights abuse, ethnic persecution, etc. etc. During the eight years of his reign, an estimated range of 100,000 to 500,000 were killed.

Your mayor smoked crack.

Ben Wyatt, Mayor of Ice Town

Fictional character Ben Wyatt, played by Adam Scott in Parks in Recreation, was just 18 when he was elected the mayor of his small town in Partridge, Minnesota. However his immaturity and lack of experience led to him to make some poor decisions – including when he bankrupted the city after creating a winter sports complex called Ice Town. Ben was  unofficially banned from his hometown.

Your mayor smoked crack.

Actually being the one to make crack a la Walter White

Rob-ster allegedly only smoked crack once. It may have been caught on video, but he did it once. At least he’s not using his skills as a Mayor to make crack and build an entire drug empire. Because what insane psychopath does that?

Your mayor smoked crack.

Amanda Bynes

Once Nickelodeon’s starlet, Amanda has gone absolutely bonkers, and she apparently isn’t even on drugs or alcohol. While she may be getting help, 2013 wasn’t a great year for Amanda, who thought getting cheek piercings was a good idea. CHEEK. PIERCINGS. PLURAL.

Your mayor smoked crack.

Anthony Weiner

Sexting. Sexting with ladies on Twitter. Sexting with ladies on Twitter under the name Carlos Danger.

Your mayor smoked crack.


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