Towards the end of every year, magazine editors, television producers, bloggers, and miscellaneous people on the internet compile their Best and Worst of Lists. Music lovers tend to release their favorite (and least favorite) songs of the year. And unlike books or movies, songs can carry over into the next year and constantly play on the radio, thus making us want to pull out our hair and also the radios from our cars and throw it out the window if we ever hear that one hit song from last year again.
In the spirit of hating on tunes, here are some of our picks for songs that should stay in 2013 and never show their face in 2014 – or every year moving forward.
Click here to listen to the entire list on Spotify!
What Does The Fox Say? – Ylvis
Just like Gangnam Style before it, 2013 needed one of these novelty songs and Norwegian duo Ylvis filled that quota. This song wasn’t even made as a real track – if you don’t know the story, brothers Vegard and Bård Ylvisåker are hosts of a popular talk show in Norway. They created What Does The Fox Say? as a music video to promote their show, and the video went viral and here we are. But let’s just let the fox and its mysterious sounds in 2013, shall we?
Blurred Lines – Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell
I feel like we’re probably on the same page as this, so I’m not even going to explain why this is on the list.
Thrift Shop – Macklemore and Ryan Lewis
“They had a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard, I bought a skeet blanket, then I bought a kneeboard.” This song is nominated for not one but TWO Grammys, y’all. GRAMMYS.
Timber – Pitbull ft. Ke$ha
Sometimes songs grow on me. But then other times it’s Ke$ha and I know immediately that I will be utterly annoyed with the song. This song is no different. Unfortunately for us, this was a late entry to 2013 and it’s probably going to stick around until like June. Also, if Ke$ha sings a song with Pitbull in the forest, does it make a horrifying sound?
#thatPOWER – will.i.am ft. Justin Bieber
When Justin Bieber is 50 years old, he’s going to wish he could do 2013 over again. He’s also going to wish he never agreed to do this horrific song with a Black Eyed Pea.
Radioactive – Imagine Dragons
As I’ve said before, Imagine Dragons sounds like the name of a pretend band created by two eight-year-old boys who are really into Lego. Let’s allow this song to fade into 2013 and just imagine the dragons from now on.
[Note: I’m noticing a lot of these songs were released in late 2012, but they all climbed the charts in 2013.]
Can’t Hold Us – Mackelmore
This doesn’t even make sense. The ceiling doesn’t hold you. The floor does.
Don’t You Worry Child – Swedish House Mafia
Apparently my gym is a card-carrying member of the Swedish House Mafia, because this is on every time I go there. [Also, inexplicably, Miss Independent by Ne-Yo.]
Locked Out Of Heaven by Bruno Mars
So, I’m of two minds on Bruno Mars. On one hand, I think he’s a talented guy who makes catchy music. On the other, he’s responsible for Just The Way You Are, which is the musical version of a Dove Real Beauty commercial. And readers, you do not want me to get started on Dove commercials.
Wake Me Up by Avicii
I can just hear the concept discussion for this song:
Avicii Guy #1: Let’s start with a kind of 90s, alternative, folksy sound. People LOVED Hootie and the Blowfish and Counting Crows!
Avicii Guy #2: But then, let’s add some beats! Bitches love house music!
AG#1: Wait… what about the music video? Can we have an old west sequence, but also a club scene, but also a model, but also a child? With human branding and ambiguous time travel? And maybe, like, The Dust Bowl? And DIALOGUE? And RALPH LAUREN PRODUCT PLACEMENT?
AG#2: CAN we?!