Our neighbor to the north. Our frigid-weather friends. The land of maple and honey. Ladies and gentlemen, today is all about Canada. Or more specifically, Canadian Thanksgiving.
Like most things, Thanksgiving is a situation where Canada looked at what the U.S. had done, considered it carefully, then did it more rationally and logically. An earlier Thanksgiving means that you don’t have to travel in a snowstorm, that you can play that post-dinner football game without your fingers turning blue, and that you have an entire extra month-and-a-half between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
So today, when Canadians give thanks, we give thanks for Canadians.
Nelly Furtado – Say It Right
Important: where is Nelly Furtado? In Canada? Am I missing something? I know she had a kid but like, that was a while ago, right? Am I just not hearing her new stuff? IS SHE JUST LIKE A BIRD AND JUST WANTED TO FLY AWAY?? Well she needs to come back and make more songs like Say It Right, because this song was my JAM back in ’06.
soulDecision – Ooh It’s Kinda Crazy
If you’re not Canadian or a die hard TRL teenybopper like I was, you might not know who soulDecision was. The band made of boys (*not a boy band) had a – you guessed it – soul sound to their music, and it was more along that genre, despite the fact they were white dudes from Vancouver. Not gonna lie, I sometimes listen to this song and their other hit Faded, because I think they’re just that good.
Drake – Find Your Love
Ah, Aubrey. From wheelchair-bound Degrassi star to hip-hop superstar, you have done your country proud, sir. Can’t say the same for other current popular artists *cough*bieber*cough. It’s hard for people to take you seriously if they know you as the disabled kid from the most famous Canadian teen drama, so props to Drake for proving to everyone that a half-Jewish kid from Toronto can make it.
The Weeknd – Wicked Games
I had always categorized The Weeknd as an R&B singer, but according to Wikipedia, he’s a “PBR&B” artist, which is a term coined by music journalists to describe a new subgenre of R&B that uses more synth and indie beach rock sounds. Also, PBR stands for what you think it does – Pabst Blue Ribbon. Aka the beer of hipsters. Aka PBR&B is slang for hipster R&B (think Frank Ocean, Theophilus London, Jhene Aiko, Miguel, etc.). I’m learning so much! Anyways, it doesn’t matter what genre The Weeknd is, he is dope and has great music, including this song that sounds incredibly sexy but I’m pretty sure it has to do with drugs.
Robin Sparkles & Jessica Glitter – The Beaver Song
Let’s Go To The Mall? Played out. Sandcastles in the Sand? Overrated. The Beaver Song is where it’s at. You guys watched Space Teens as a kid, right? Starring Robin Sparkles, Jessica Glitter, and Canada’s favourite dad Alan Thicke? Of course you did. And what is better than a song aboot friendship? Absolutely nothing.
Barenaked Ladies – Jane
In the 90s, BNL was a big favorite in our hometown – probably because we were right across the lake from Toronto. I pondered over which BNL song would be the most Canadian, and settled on the one named after a girl named after a Toronto intersection. You can also listen to If I Had A Million Dollars, because they say “chesterfield.”
Alanis Morissette – Head Over Feet
I really could have kept going with the 90s artists: Bryan Adams, Sarah McLaughlin, Crash Test Dummies. The 90s, with all of their flannel, outdoor activewear, and left-leaning social policies, were probably the U.S.A.’s most Canadian decade, so this comes as no surprise. We really fell head over feet for you, Canada, didn’t we?
Neil Young – Rockin’ In The Free World
The freest world of all? Why, that would be Canada, of course.
Tegan And Sara – Back In Your Head
When I lived 10 minutes from the Canadian border, I never knew when I was listening to Canadian radio and when I was listening to American radio. But years later I’ve learned that some albums I thought were ubiquitous – like The Con – were only all over the Canadian airwaves. I’m still thankful for these Canadians, because a few of their tracks are on rotation at my gym and it’s some of the only good music they play.
Zit Remedy – Everybody Wants Something
Degrassi is a Canadian treasure. This song is not.
Canada Can Keep The Following Artists:
Avril Lavigne, Justin Bieber, Nickleback, Celine Dion, Sarah McLaughlin.
But thanks for these guys:
Joni Mitchell, deadmau5, Gordon Lightfoot, I guess Shania Twain. In exchange for your troubles, you can have this fine piece of Canadian art by my small nephew. The tests haven’t come back, but I’m pretty sure this kid came out Canadian.