Next week, Neil Patrick Harris, one of the greatest entertainers of our time, will release his very first autobiography. And it’s about damn time. From Doogie to NPH to Barney to Hedwig, he’s lived a life enough to span 10 million lifetimes, and that’s exactly what he’s writing about in his new book. However it’s not just any kind of memoir, it’s a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Yes, that’s right, akin to those from your childhood. Because he’s just that awesome.
I only read a few Choose Your Own Adventure books growing up, but as an adult, you bet I’ll be reading this particular one. Since I didn’t read as many CYOA books as other kids, I decided to do some research on them, and what I found was that a lot of them had interesting titles. And by interesting I mean a lot of them had exclamation points at the end of them! I don’t know, I don’t see many books these days with such enthusiastic punctuation marks, but this seemed odd to me. It was like a lot of them were those horrible science fiction or horror films from the past. In fact, to put you to the test, below are a mix of both CYOA books and horror films from the 1980s, so it’s up to you to figure out which one is which. A choose your own adventure/fate in winning, of sorts! Enjoy!
Don’t Answer the Phone!
Plot: “A deeply disturbed photographer and Vietnam veteran terrorizes Los Angeles by going around strangling lingerie-clad young women in their homes while also taunting a young psychologist by calling her on a radio call-in show to describe his sexual hang-ups and misogynistic ways.”
Choose Your Own Adventure Book or 1980s Horror Film?!
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Kidnapped!
“When Allen visits his friend Jason after school for the first time, he’s surprised to find that he is extremely wealthy and lives in a mansion. During a race in Jason’s go-karts down the driveway, a stranger suddenly approaches and gestures for them to get in his car. The two notices a security guard lies wounded on the ground, and soon realize they’re about to be kidnapped.”
Choose Your Own Adventure Book or 1980s Horror Film?!
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Typhoon!
“After a 40-year career on the high seas, Captain Michael Polanski sets out for his final trek, but runs into some trouble when his ship is assailed not only by pirates but a deadly typhoon.”
Choose Your Own Adventure Book or 1980s Horror Film?!
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Maniac!
“A psychotic man, troubled by his childhood abuse, loose in NYC, kills young women and takes their scalps as trophies. Will he find the perfect woman in photographer Anna, and end his killing spree?”
Choose Your Own Adventure Book or 1980s Horror Film?!
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Possessed!
“A teen’s parents go out of town for the weekend, leaving her with the entire house to herself. She has a big blowout bash but after everyone leaves, two sinister spirits from past lives take over her body. In the process she learns of a family curse that has wrought havoc through the centuries.”
Choose Your Own Adventure Book or 1980s Horror Film?!
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Help! You’re Shrinking
“A chemist stays up late in the lab working on a secret experiment, but a strange bottle mysteriously shows up that he’s never seen before. While he tries to figure out what it is, the blue liquid splashed on his arm and suddenly he shrinks to the size of a blade of grass.”
Choose Your Own Adventure Book or 1980s Horror Film?!
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Beware! Children at Play
“After several children have gone missing, a writer and a cop decide to get to the bottom of the problem once and for all. As they find more and more leads they discover that their children are being brainwashed into zombified cannibal killers by a disturbed teen.”
Choose Your Own Adventure Book or 1980s Horror Film?!
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Eaten Alive!
“A young woman teams up with an adventurer to find her missing sister in the jungles of New Guinea and they stumble upon a religious cult led by a deranged preacher whom has located his commune in an area inhabited by cannibals.”
Choose Your Own Adventure Book or 1980s Horror Film?!
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Stampede!
“Sam Kinnard is spending his last summer before his senior year of college at his uncle’s ranch in Utah, going on cattle roundups and breaking young mustangs. But when a number of cows turn evil, Sam has to fight for his life against the angry bulls.”
Choose Your Own Adventure Book or 1980s Horror Film?!
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