Ramen Donuts: WE HAVE TO GO BACK

Last week, I came across an article which featured someone’s experiment of combining ramen with a donut and this is what it looks like:

Now, I’m all for creativity and innovativeness, but the first thing that came to my mind when I saw this was WE HAVE GONE TO FAR. Were regular donuts not enough for us? I don’t know about you, but donuts are just fine as they are. I mean, the fact that there are donuts out there topped with bacon and cinnamon toast crunch and snickers bars is, like, pushing it, but still, they’re donuts. They’re delicious. Do we need to improve on it with ramen? RAMEN. In its defense, I have no idea if these ramen donuts are good or not, but to me, they don’t look appetizing at all. And I blame the cronut (which I do find appetizing).

Chef Dominique Ansel may not have started this hybrid craze, but he certainly brought it back to the zeitgeist thanks to his flaky croissant-donut. Fact: when Molly & I went to NYC in September, we failed to realize that cronuts are still a thing and got to Dominique Ansel’s bakery too late and they were sold out. Still got good food there, so I suggest stopping by. Anyways, experimenting with hybrid food is like what Glee did with song mashups and now I fear that we’ve gone too far (just like Glee’s sixth season). Look, I’m all for letting your creative juices flow, but maybe things like ramen donuts are a one and done thing. Here are some other hybrid foods people from the internet and businesses alike have conjured up. You decide if we need to go back or not…

Spicy Tuna Sushi Corn Dog

In full disclosure, the ramen donut was made by a blogger who is a bro. Like a college athlete, hates hipsters, drinks excessively at frat parties bro. But his blog is like, actually really good and his food presentation is fantastic. So props to him. His thing is creating hybrid foods (that are usually not the healthiest). Enter this giant fried sushi roll. The fact that he calls it a corn dog turns me off. Basically I just want that spicy tuna roll.

Ramen Poutine

We’re continuing with the bro’s recipes because I’m seriously impressed. Look at that egg tho. It actually makes this ramen poutine look edible. I am a product of a Filipino mother who sometimes didn’t feel like cooking me a real dinner and made me ramen soup a lot. It was never really a college thing for me, it was a childhood thing for me. Which is why I think I don’t want to associate ramen with hybrid food that could possibly ruin my idea of childhood ramen. But poutine tho – if you’ve never had poutine – don’t start with this.

Spaghetti and Meatbwaffles

No, that wasn’t a typo. Blogger bro actually named this dish Spaghetti and Meatbwaffles. He basically took a chunk of meatball and put it in a waffle maker and came out with this. Is it sad that my only complaint about this is that the ratio of spaghetti to meatbwaffle isn’t equal?

Ramen Burger

Alright, enough of the bro dude. We’ve seen this one before. It came after the cronut and I still don’t understand how this is any easier to eat than a regular hamburger. Also why do people tend to put more shit in ramen burgers than regular burgers??

Ramen Pizza

Again, like donuts, pizza is fine as it is. Stop trying to make pizza better.

Cragel

Did you know that a bagel is the equivalent to eating five slices of toast? Well it is. And IDK what the croissant equivalent is but when you have half a croissant and half a bagel you get a whole stinking loaf of bread.

Pizza Cake

Remember this from a few months ago? And how you said you were going to try to make it? Did you? Okay.

Lays Flavored Anything

 

In all fairness, I’ve never tried any of these. But that’s because they all sound disgusting. A *kettle cooked* Wasabi Ginger flavor?? Those are the two things I avoid (ok, maybe a little wasabs) when eating sushi. Why would I want the FLAVOR of those two things on a potato chip. A POTATO CHIP.

Chocolate Eclair Hot Dog

WHAT HAPPENED TO US, AMERICA???

Mac and Cheese Pancakes

 

I’m still debating whether or not I think this is a good idea. On one hand, I love pancakes. On the other, I love mac and cheese. However, I’m not quite sure if I put them together, I’d love them as a whole. It’s like the time Rachel screwed up the Thanksgiving trifle and it tasted like feet. Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooood.

Pizzabon

 

Sometimes sweet and savory things belong together. Like chicken and waffles good lord, chicken and waffles. But again, pizza is fine on its own. And don’t even get me started on cinnamon buns. Anyone ever been to a Holiday Inn Express? Those cinnamon buns are worth every penny.

Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe

 

Just… no.

 

Faux Cronuts: NAILED IT.

By now, most of you have heart about the new food fad called the ‘cronut’. In short, it’s a mix between a croissant and a donut. NYC-based chef Dominique Ansel is the man behind the craze, who developed 10 different receipes before perfecting the cronut that it is today. Having only been in production since May, the delicious dessert has become so increasingly popular that people have even slept at the steps of the bakery overnight to nab one of the only 300 cronuts they make each day.

While many report that it is in fact worth getting up early, waiting in line, and paying the $5 for a cronut, it still seems silly that anyone would spend so much of their precious sleep time for a pastry. But food fads (and any other fad, really) are like that. You hear about something amazing, it becomes viral, and the next thing you know, it’s all over the news, and you’ve heard about it so much that the only logical next step is to drink the kool-aid and go.

But for those who aren’t in spitting distance of Ansel’s bakery, there are many imitation recipes for you to try out a cronut at home. With the help of my baker friend Eva, we attempted to recreate this magical pastry, using the following recipe from the Los Angeles Times. Check out how we absolutely nailed our very first cronut attempt…

Recipe by “Home & Family” Chef Hayley Christopher

1 tube of any refrigerated crescent roll dough

cinnamon sugar (1 cup sugar plus 1 tablespoon cinnamon)

or just eye it like we did until it looks pretty

1 stick melted butter

4 cups vegetable oil (for frying)

  • Unwrap the dough and separate it into four square sections, fixing the perforations with fingers.

Easy enough. Also, this event happened in my kitchen, not baker Eva’s so we did the best we could with what we got. AKA my cutting board wasn’t big enough, AKA I don’t bake.

  • Brush three sections with melted butter and cinnamon sugar. Stack the dough squares with plain square on top.

Also didn’t have a brush so used a tablespoon. 

  • Roll it out then brush with melted butter and sprinkle cinnamon sugar mix on top. Fold the dough over and roll it out again.

Also slightly modified it by making two cronuts and did not roll them out enough. We are experts.

  • Cut circles with a biscuit cutter. Let the dough circles sit for 20 minutes.

We had a biscuit cutter. Decided we didn’t need it. Skipped to the 20 minute wait.

  • Partially bake the dough circles at 400 degrees for five minutes, until Cronuts puff up. Set them aside to cool.

And then realize you should probably clean your oven when it starts to get rulll smoky up in your kitchen.

To fry

  • Heat the vegetable oil to medium heat.

Read: put a disgusting amount of oil into a pan and prepare to be disgusted and never want to eat fried food ever again

  • Fry the Cronuts for 60 to 90 seconds, until golden brown. Place them on a paper towel to drain.

It may be disgusting, but it is cool to see the dough all friiiied up. SCIENCE.

  • While warm, roll Cronuts in cinnamon sugar mix.

Roll/sprinkle, whatever.

  • If desired, pipe in whipped cream. Enjoy!

NO. Don’t enjoy this yet. Next step that is not written is to cut open the cronut and discover it’s not fully cooked, only to put it back in the oven for another 10 or so minutes so it IS cook and pretend everything went smoothly. Then it will come out like this:

And you will have a project that turned out just like those Pinterest NAILED IT projects that you laugh at at 1am on a Friday night by yourself.  We discerned that we need to actually roll out the dough more when we were making the cinnamon sugar layers so the pre-cook in the oven before hitting the fry bucket actually you know, cooks it. But I mean, it was still edible and tasted okay. We just need Dominique Ansel to come to LA.