Alright, kids. Time for me to be a cynical old hag right about now. It’s prom season. You’re gearing up for what could possibly be the biggest dance, nay, event of the year. Picking the perfect dress, choosing an elaborate hairstyle, getting your nails did, and possibly even splurging for that fake tan.

However I’m here to tell you, as someone from the future, prom isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

Picking a dress

What you think will happen:

Finding a dress wil be soooo easy, and you will absolutely be the best dressed one at the prom!

What actually happens:

Your mom will judge you for your choices while trying dresses on.

The one you love the most doesn’t fit like you want it to.

Fuck it, all this stress is not worth it.

Figuring out limos and table assignments with friends

What you think will happen:

BFF4L!!!! We’re going to have so much fun planning the events leading up to and after the prom!

What actually happens:

Bitches be annoying and don’t want to sit at this table because of this person and why are we going to this person’s house after I wanna go here. STFU. How are we still friends rn?

Day of Prep

What you think will happen:

Celeb for a day with everyone doting on you.

What actually happens:

I literally cried while getting my hair done for junior prom because it wasn’t exactly how the picture I tore out from Teen People: Prom issue looked. But you know, everything worked out okay.

Taking pre-prom pictures with family

What you think will happen:

What actually happens:

Oh, parents taking pix of their kid before going to prom.

Dancing at prom

What you think will happen:

What actually happens:

You’re Britney for 10 minutes and then you realize you hate everyone else you go to school with.

After Party

What you think will happen:

What actually happens:

Over it.

So in summary, have fun, kids! You’ll have the time of your life that you’ll never get back again. Enjoy!