Fantasy Cute Animal Bowl

ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR THE BIG GAME THIS WEEKEND??? And by ‘Big Game’ I clearly mean the Puppy Bowl and the Kitty Bowl.

For the past few years, there’s been an alternate match for those who aren’t too interested in annual event which involves all the throwing of the pigskin and barbarians kicking each others’ butts (name that ref). These particular games involve cute animals playing around on a football field and captured for all of America (the internet?) to see. Since I’m not much of a football connoisseur, I figured my talent and time would be wasted on figuring out who’s going to win the actual Super Bowl (is Katy Perry an option?). Instead, I’ve made my own fantasy football-type list and drafted some of the cutest (read: best names) nuggets participating in this year’s Puppy and Kitten Bowl – if they were on the same team and playing against… IDK some goats or penguins?


Oh Chicklet, what big ears you have! The better to hear oncoming opponents, my dear. And as opposed to the gum Chiclet, this little dude lasts longer than flavor goes away in 1 minute.

Aaron Pawdgers


Aaron Pawdgers is my secret weapon. He’s a killer quarterback, but also, like Tony Romo before him, he has a gorge girlfriend, Olivia Mutt, that will probably be able to distract some of the other players.


Ok, so Cara might not be the most enthusiastic about the game, but like April Ludgate, she cares about her friends and work deep, deep deep down inside.

 William “The Litterbox” Purry


If you’re wondering why William’s nickname is The Litterbox, it’s because he’ll bury the little shits on the other team with ease.


Bryan Adams

Too bad about his divorce from Mandy Moore. Oh, that’s RYAN Adams? This is the dog that sang Everything I Do. 

Ryan Fitzcatrick


Careful of this Ryan. He’s a Halfcat. The other half is a badass.



“Papi may play coy, but he’s got a few tricks up his sleeve. Look for him to complete a few sneak plays.” This is the face that does sneaky plays.

Mr. Meowgi


Believe it or not, Mr. Meowgi has some special martial arts moves that he’s gonna defo break out during the game.


Miss Martian

IF UFOs and aliens are on Miss Martian’s side, we really can’t go wrong.



I mean. Steve. This kitty’s name is Steve.