A Stalker’s Guide to Dillon, Texas

Posted in Entertainment, GSOY (Gratuitous Story of Yourself) by Traci

Howdy y’all! I recently went to Austin, Texas for a brief weekend getaway, for a few reasons. One: I always wanted to go to Austin, since I heard it was the most un-Texas Texas city in the state. During my road trip across the country in 2009, Austin was on the list of possible cities to go, but we due to time constraints (and the fact we wanted to not drive across desert for another 10 hours), we opted to skip Austin, and I’ve put the city on the top of my bucket list ever since. Two: I attended the ATX Television Festival, which is a new festival for TV fans and those who want to break into the industry, and it was full of screenings, panels, and reunions from fave shows. You may have heard about the Boy Meets World bonanza, and I also attended the American Dreams and Party of Five reunions, and sat in on Parenthood and Veronica Mars panels! Not to mention Friday Night Lights. Which brings me to reason three: Friday Night Lights. The show was set in the fictional town of Dillion, Texas, but was shot entirely in Austin. Ever since I marathoned (and obsessed over) the series in 2010, I made it my goal to go to Austin and find all the filming locations.

So, if you’re a ~~superfan~~ stalker like me, and find yourself in Austin, here’s a guide to Dillon by way of Austin.

The Taylor House

6805 De Paul Cove, Austin TX 78723

The house were the greatest TV couple/parents lived. They should make this place a national landmark. PS: The Taylor, Riggins, and Alamo Freeze are all close to each other, so you can do it all in one fell swoop!

The Riggins House

2604 Lehigh Dr. Austin, TX 78723

No sign of Riggs 😦

Alamo Freeze

5900 Manor Rd. Austin, TX 78723

Fun fact: the Alamo Freeze is actually a Dairy Queen. So you can reenact Matt’s proposal to Julie and then grab an oreo blizzard.

Saracen House

3009 Kuhlman Ave. Austin, TX 78702

Grandma Saracen and her tiara not included.

Del Valle Field

2404 Shapard Lane, Del Valle, TX

Panther Fieldhouse still in tact!

The Panthers side

And the other side of the field was the Lions side!

The FNL fieldhouse is still in tact and on a random street near the Austin airport. The only thing still up and running nearby are a few trailers – like trailer park trailers. But you could clearly see the football field and the stands, which is pretty cool. The area was actually used for two ‘sets’, with the Panthers on the left, and when East Dillion needed a field, they built the Lions homefield on the other side of the Panthers’ bleachers!

Here’s me and my friend Suz hanging with Riggins at the fieldhouse…

PS: I didn’t just come up with these locations, it’s easily found on the internet – including here!!!

And to round out my tour of FNL filming locations, the ATX Festival also had a couple of FNL events, including an outdoor screening of State (Season 1 finale) and a panel with the cast! The screening, which appropriately took place on Friday night, was great because a lot of the cast members were there to meet with fans and introduce the ep. I got to meet most of them, and I still can’t believe it happened!

I apologized to Matt Lauria for wearing the wrong shirt, and he said, “Wrong side of the tracks, babe.” DEAD.

Smash and Tinker sandwich!

Jason Street said, “Sorry for my back sweat,” then proceeded to show me the back of his shirt. HAHAHA #deadagain

Grandma Saracen told me to go under the VIP rope to take this pic with her!

Grams and Buddy Garrity having a laugh

Grandma Saracen then offered this personal signed picture of herself with the boys. Bless.

AND THEN, the next morning was the FNL panel, where we were surprised by a couple guests:

COACH AND MRS. COACH, Y’ALL!!!!!! I think I may have started crying.Who knows. But you can always bet on me crying. I shared the same air as the greatest couple ever.

Thanks for the great time, Austin/Dillon! See y’all next time!

18Jun2013

The Kimye Pregnancy – A Retrospective

Posted in Entertainment by Molly

Over the past weeks, months, and — has it been years? — we’ve grown accustomed to the Kim Kardashian/ Kanye West pregnancy. It sort of seemed like it would always be here, you know? I mean it seemed like it would never END. But it’s over now, and maybe you’re starting to feel a little lost. Whose pregnancy couture will I judge now? Not Kate Middleton’s, because they’re putting her away until the baby comes. Whose baby names will I bet on? Again, not Kate Middleton’s, because there are like 10 acceptable Royal British Baby Names.

The only thing to do, then, is to look back at the fond memories. Grab a nice cup of tea, queue up some sentimental music (I suggest Bookends by Simon and Garfunkel), and remember the gestation that was.

Early December:

Kim Kardashian slams pregnancy rumors as “absolutely not true”.
Kim and Kanye are “just friends,” and she’s ostensibly involved with Gabriel Aubry.

Later December:

Kim Kardashian confirms pregnancy rumors as “absolutely true.”
The internet sees a spike in “I’mma let you finish” jokes — highest since 2009.

Winter-ish:

Kim and Kanye start to be sighted in public, looking like a couple who went to prom together because neither of them had dates yet.

Winter of my discontent:

Kim starts sporting “maternity fashions.” All of them are actually worse than the shirt my mom wore during all 4 of her pregnancies, a red number that read “I’m Not Fat, I’m Pregnant.” I want one of those, but only to wear when I’m looking a little fat, just to mess with people a bit.

The Longest Spring Ever:

Kim Kardashian keeps being pregnant. Forever. Never NOT pregnant. Also, Keeping Up With The Kardashians begins airing episodes that feature the pregnancy, because if there’s anything worse than going to the doctor, it’s going to the doctor with Kanye West’s fetus and Kim Kardashian.

May:

The invite to Kim’s baby shower is leaked (read: is released by Kris Kardashian). It looks like a prop from an episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark. When you’re asleep, the tiny Kardashian ballerina escapes, dances into your ear, films your insides, and licenses the footage to E!.
Rumor has it that the music box plays “Mama,” a very sweet song by Kanye. Is that really the most apt Kanye tune though? I like picturing Kanye staring into the music box, shell-sh0cked, as it chirps “18 years, 18 years, she got one of your kids, got you for 18 years…”.

June:

Kanye West cheating stories begin to surface. Kim laughs them off, but I bet it’s that kind of laughing where you’re also a little sad. And also no sound is coming out. Plus there are tears in your eyes. And your nose starts running.

Crying. She was probably crying.

While we’re talking about the Kanye West of it all, Amber Rose is pregnant, too! You may be familiar with Amber Rose from her previous work, standing near Kanye West at industry events and being photographed at basketball games.
That help? The father is Wiz Khalifa, who I just found out is younger than me. Ugh. Can’t stand people who are younger than me.

FINALLY:

The pregnancy comes to a close. Kim has a baby girl. Twitter explodes into a million pieces. They don’t release the name right away because they HATE US and don’t want us to be happy.
Despite this being the longest gestation ever, the baby was somehow actually born early, most likely to coincide with the release of Yeezy’s new album. It’s nice to have everything drop the same week, you know?
Rumor has it the baby is named Kaidence Donda. I for-real almost called Cadence but spelled weird as the name. Donda, I’ll give you, because that’s Kanye’s late mom’s name. But Kaidence though? I can’t wait to see her compete in Little Miss Southern Arkansas Glitz Supreme in 2017 or so, because that is straight-up Toddlers and Tiaras business. Who knows – Media Takeout is almost always wrong, anyway.

Wait, no. Nope. Just kidding. North West is the name. Suddenly, my parents’ naming philosophy (“let the 8-year-old decide”) isn’t so bad. It’s a better tactic than “things your great-uncle would find funny,” anyway.

Funny. Now the name Kaidence sounds almost classy and beautiful. Well done, Kardashian-Wests. I suppose.

I hope the retrospective hasn’t made you miss the Kardashian pregnancy too much already. Whenever it gets tough, just remember — we haven’t lost a celebrity pregnancy, we’ve gained a celebrity baby.

17Jun2013

The NBA’s Fashion MVP

Posted in Entertainment, Lists, Miscellany, Outfit Girl by Traci

We’re smack dab in the middle of the NBA Finals right now, and I usually don’t care unless the Boston Celtics are a part of it, and I especially don’t care this year because I hate the Miami Heat. But one person I do care about, and you should too if you don’t already, is Craig Sager.

This is Craig Sager. He is a sidelines correspondent for TNT. For the non-sports watchers, he also served as a correspondent during the London Summer Olympics.

You’re thinking to yourself, but Traci, ‘What’s wrong with this guy? He’s totally normal.’ And I say to you, reader, ‘Nay. This photo is actually a rare occurrence that actually blew a lot of people’s minds because this guy never wears normal clothes.

Craig is known for his outlandish suits when he’s on the court interviewing the world’s best basketball players. So much so that multiple people have written articles about him, started blogs dedicated to his outfits, and even my boy, Kevin Garnett has even called him out on it. But the thing is, is that he’s not even annoying about it. He’s like your dad or grandpa that wears the crazy suits for fun and doesn’t give a shit what anybody thinks. That’s why he’s the greatest, and probs the reason you should get into watching basketball.

Here are a few examples of the NBA’s most colorful character.

because, christmas

velour is always a nice option

his jacket is so bright it looks like someone adjusted the colors in photoshop

this was the boys’ option for the recital costume i had when i was 8 years old, dancing to a chubby checker song.

even craig is like, ‘why did i use my wife’s grandma’s tapestries from england for this coat?’

craig gettin’ a lil kinky with the ties…

i can’t even…

if you’re wondering why this looks familiar, it’s also the same color/pattern theme for the golden girls’ house in florida

craig goin for a three piece suit

going for an americana/barbershop quartet feel

And last, but certainly not least:

this is made out of turkey feathers. real turkey feathers. for a thanksgiving game.

13Jun2013

90s Teen Starlets Before Going Down the Rabbit Hole

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by Traci

A couple of weeks ago, Jessica Simpson posted this video of herself playing Cassie in her high school production of A Chorus Line. Much to a lot of people’s surprise – she was actually good.

But here’s the thing we forget about these child/teen stars – at some point they had talent. Long before Jessica Simpson was known for her reality TV show and “chicken of the sea,” and years before we found out the once pure virgin was labeled as “sexual napalm” by John Mayer, she could sing.

(RIP Nick & Jessica)

But what about our other favorite teen stars who went/are currently going insane? Here’s a reminder of some of the biggest Hollywood starlets and their humble, talented beginnings.

Britney

Brit is really the most tragic one out of all of them. We all remember where we were (ok, maybe not, but it was a big day) when she went insane and shaved her head then proceeded to attack a paparazzo with an umbrella. And it seems like although B has gotten better, she’s not the same as she used to be. Just watch this and listen to the Oops album on repeat and remember the good old days.

(Bonus: Full JT & Brit vid from Mickey Mouse Club)

Christina

Xtina didn’t go all the way down the rabbit hole, but she did have a few questionable years. Now she’s back on track with The Voice and her younger beau, and luckily, she still has the pipes to stay in the game.

Amanda

Who the hell knows what’s going on with Amanda Bynes? I don’t, per this previous post.

Lindsay

Lindsay is also still kind of scratching her way out of the rabbit hole… it seems like every time you think she’s out of trouble, she gets in deeper shit. Maybe she should do The Parent Trap 2?

12Jun2013

10 Catchiest Wordless TV Theme Songs

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by Molly

For years, instrumental TV theme songs were de rigour. Then, sometime in the mid-to-late 60s, somebody realized that you could sum up the entire premise of the show in a one-minute, three-verse song. Writers didn’t have to add in any exposition! Keep in mind, this was before the age of a two-minute “previously, on ____” preceding every 42-minute program. Viewers needed some way to know what they were getting into.

As time wore on, more generic theme songs took hold, usually about themes like friendship (Golden Girls) or family (Full House, Family Matters). By the mid-90s, tv themes had become chart toppers in their own right, and I still get a little giddy when the Friends theme pipes onto the radio.

Commercial breaks expanded, and run times contracted. Networks had to cut something from their shows, and theme songs were the first to go. By season 9, the Friends theme was about 12 words long. Other themes were reduced to a single line, followed by a nonsense word (Friendship is family forever…. toodles!). Don’t believe me? The Mike And Molly song is 17 seconds long. 10 words.

In tv theme songs – as in fashion and politics – the pendulum always swings back eventually. Instrumental theme songs are it again. I’ll be damned if they aren’t darn catchy, too.

Mad Men

A great title sequence calls for a great theme song. There’s a bit of a tense, Hitchcock-y buildup, so you know there’s going to be drama. But then the cymbals kick in, so you’re pretty sure there will be fun times and laughs, too. Who needs three verses explaining Don Draper’s back story when you have that? (I would actually benefit from three verses explaining Don Draper’s back story).

The Simpsons

I started watching The Simpsons almost as soon as it aired, even though I was barely a toddler. My mom didn’t approve of Bart’s attitude, but that didn’t mean we weren’t allowed to watch it. It just meant that my brothers and I had to go upstairs to do it. This really typifies my parents’ child-rearing philosophy. Like, my room could be messy for a while, but my door had to be closed. Hi, I’m half Irish Catholic, if you couldn’t tell.

Anyway, the most exciting part of the show when I was 4 or 5 was “the couch” – the sight gag at the end of the credits when the family piled onto the sofa. To get to it, you had to sit through a rollicking tour of Springfield. Danny Freakin’ Elfman, you guys. Genius.

30 Rock

Totally jazzy and New York-y. Oddly, more of an early-60s feel than the Mad Men theme. Jeff Richmond is without a doubt one of the great tv composers of our day. His wife’s pretty cool too I guess.

Parks and Recreation

Upbeat and spirited, this is like a theme song for optimism itself. Will Leslie Knope prevail? Of course she will. You don’t write a theme like this for someone who’s anything less than triumphant.

Boy Meets World

I have so much trouble finding people who remember the original Boy Meets World theme. We all remember the generic 90s tune of the later seasons (when this boy meets world — boy meets wor-or-orld – travelin down this road that we call ly-eeef –). But, do you remember the synth-y yet magestic tune of the first season? Extra bonus, the entire title sequence looks like it was created on Microsoft Paint, pre-Windows ‘95.

Because we all still love the Boy Meets World cast, enjoy this behind-the-scenes info from the filming of the later title sequence:

Law And Order

I don’t know if it’s the solid bass backbeat, the twangy guitar, or the — is that a clarinet?? — but if you blindfolded a person who had never seen Law and Order, played this sequence, and asked them what this show was about, they’d be like “police procedural set in a big city? Early 90s?” I like the moment about 50 seconds in when you think that it’s over, then the music kicks back up, like “just kidding!” Am I overthinking it if I think that’s supposed to evoke the moment ⅘ of the way through the show when you think they got the bad guy but it was a different bad guy? Yeah, I thought so.

Batman

This doesn’t all-the-way qualify, because they say Batman a crazy number of times. By the end of it, it’s like when you repeat a word multiple times and it stops sounding like a word. I also notice that the way kids sing “na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!” doesn’t sound much like this. See, I find that children are terrible at most things because they haven’t been alive very long.

What’s amazing is that even though this is a superhero cartoon, it kind of sounds like 1960s beach music, too. Except for the part where they won’t stop saying Batman.

Doug

I think in this context, “do” isn’t a word.

Babar

Oh, Babar. The show I always saw 20 minutes of because it was on HBO right before I had to leave for church in the morning. Babar was a gentle, sweet show (about colonialism), so this lovely little melody fits perfectly. Unless, that is, crazy, terrible shit always started to go down in the final 10 minutes.

Leave it To Beaver

When you listen to this peppy, spirited little tune, you just know that for the next half-hour you are going to be in a world where the biggest problem is an 8-year-old with a slingshot. If only that darn announcer would just shut up.

Honorable mention: Clarissa Explains it all

Just a cheerful, energetic number featuring a 14-year-old girl dressed like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I had to DQ it from the list proper because there were a few too many words in there.

Honorable mention: Andy Griffith Show

This theme song is iconic and completely evocative of the show. I’m not denying that. Here’s the thing, though. When I was in elementary school, our music director decided to debut a sung version of this song at the spring concert. It wasn’t even my grade doing it, but all I can think of when I hear this song is 40 eight-year-olds with recorders trying to squeak out the melody, then putting them down to sing about a fishin’ hole. It was actually way more cute when Andy Griffith sang it than when two classes of third graders did it, who would have thought?

Also, I know this makes me sound like a dour and joyless person, but I can’t stand when people whistle, and this song just encourages it.

11Jun2013

As Seen on TV: The Fashion of Pretty Little Liars

Posted in Entertainment, Outfit Girl by Traci

HAPPY PLL DAY, Y’ALL!!!!

Pretty Little Liars is back for a fourth season tonight, and we’ll find out who SPOILER ALERT IF YOU’RE NOT CAUGHT UP is in the back of the trunk dug out of the pond, if that was really Ali in the red coat, and if Aria’s brother Mike still exists (no but really, where IS he?).

One of my favorite things about PLL is the fashion. Not only do I covet most of the things the girls wear, but I find it fascinating that these four girls from a suburban Pennsylvania town have that much style and money to feed their fashion addictions – yes I know it’s only a TV show, shut up.

Here are a few of my favorite looks from over the seasons for the main PLLs. Bonus: links to where you can purchase their attire! Shout out to Worn on TV, Fashion of Pretty Little Liars, and Fashion of PLL for the links!

Aria Montgomery

When my friends and I get together to watch PLL, we take on each of the characters from the show (ugh, again, shut up), and I am Aria. Personally, she’s a little more edgy and out there than I am, but I still love a lot of her looks.

Season 3, Episode 21: Cardigan from Urban Outfitters – sold out 😦

Season 3, Episode 21: Chiffon Skull Shirt from Bloomingdales – also sold out

Season 3, Episode 8: Pins & Needles Jeweled Collar – again sold out folks. Sorry I keep picking bad ones!

Season 3, Episode 10: Karen Millen Lace Print Blouse

Season 3, Episode 11: Anthropologie Meticulous Floribunda Chemise

Asos Genetic Denim Studded Mini Dress

Emily Fields

Emily’s the sporty, more tomboy one of the group – and yes, she’s a lesbian too. So her style is usually more comfortable and laid back compared to the other PLLs.

Season 3, Episode 12: Urban Outfitters ByCorpus Acid Wash Chambray Button Down Shirt

Season 3, Episode 13: Staring at stars Maxi Tank top dress

Season 3, Episode 24 : Anthropologie Goldleaf Cocktail Dress

Season 3, Episode 19: Urban Outfitters BDG Leopard Print Chambray Button-Down Shirt

Spencer Hastings

Spence is probably my favorite character out of all the PLLs, she’s wicked smart, witty, and willing to put her friends in their place when need be. Natch this comes across in her style.

Season 2, Episode 25: Free People Gianna’s Limited edition leather and lace gown – out of stock 😦

Season 2, Episode 12: Coast Rosa Ribbon Dress – No longer available

Season 2, Episode 4: pins needles strapless lace dress – no longer available

Season 3, Episode 15: Pique Blazer from Zara – sold out

Season 3, Episode 8: Urban Outfitters Staring at stars Ikat Pencil Skirt

Season 3, Episode 24: Anthropologie Harlequin Cord Shirtdress

Hanna Marin

Hanna is the ‘girliest’ and most feminine out of all the PLLs, and she’s super in to shopping and style, and if you remember – shoplifting too.

Season 3, Episode 16: Karen Millen Colorblock Sculptural Dress

Season 3, Episode 22: Zara studded jacket – sold out

Season 3, Episode 23: Sparkle and Fade dress from Urban Outfitters

Season 3, Episode 19: Sparkle & Fade Georgette Sleeveless Shirtdress – sold out

Season 3, Episode 19: Zara blouse- out of stock (i actually just love what the costume designer decided to do with layer the black tank top and necklace!)

Season 3, Episode 23: Citizens of Humanity Avedon Jean in Cream/Gold (love the black leather peplum top too! It’s from Urban but sold out too CÖ Vegan Leather Peplum Tank Top)

Finally, what PLL fashion roundup would be complete without redcoAt???

Via Spiga Fall Rain Trench Coat

10Jun2013

Highs and Lows: 2013 Tony Awards

Posted in Entertainment by Molly

Very High [Like When You Score In The 99th Percentile On A Standardized Test Because There Is No 100th]: Matilda the Musical performance

I know as a grown adult I’m supposed to find kid actors insufferable, Broadway kid actors even more so, and Broadway kid actors affecting Mockney accents worst of all. But MATILDA! I loved the book and the movie, and my inner 10-year-old is scheming about how to get herself into the title role. Revolting Children was the most energetic Tony performance I’ve seen since Totally Fucked from Spring Awakening.

Middle-to-Low [Like When You Get Lower Orchestra Seats But They End Up Being Right Before The First Section Break]: Characters from musicals introducing numbers from other musicals

There’s a reason that, in Disney princess marketing, all of the princesses stare vacantly into different directions. You need to pretend that they’re all part of their own story. Tiana doesn’t know Ariel, you know (except probably in fanfiction).

I need the same things with my plays. The Newsies do not know Matilda, right? I willfully suspend a lot of disbelief when I’m watching a musical. Basically, we all know about the fourth wall, but now I want us to build a fifth one, too – between characters from different musicals who never the twain shall meet. What is this, that 90s antidrug video where every character from every cartoon united to keep kids off of opiates?

High [Like A Hemline That’s Not Scandalous But You Probably Wouldn’t Wear In A House Of God]: Neil Patrick Harris’s play-musical mashups

42nd Streetcar Named Desire; Children of a Lesser Godspell; Cats on a Hot Tin Roof;The Diary of Anne Frank-enstein the Musical (Justin Bieber would love it!); Cabaret-son in the Sun. I have a soft spot for grandpa humor.

Low [Like When You Make A List Of Common Denominators Then Choose The Least One]: Tom Hanks’ mustache.

For a role, maybe? I used to live in the Mustache Capitol Of America (Buffalo, NY), and I’ve seen better. It’s looking kind of Chaplin-y… and that’s me being as inoffensive and charitable as possible.

Somewhere kind of in the middle, maybe slightly more toward the high end [like a house in a suburb where the school district is good but not great]: Bring It On: The Musical

I love musicals and I love Bring It On, but It’s All Happening was not all happening for me. Does anyone know if the musical is set in the early 2000s like the movie? I ask because of the costumes. If so, that bumps this performance up to a high.

Lower-Middle [Like If It Was A TV Family’s Socio-Economic Status It Would Be The Conners from Roseanne]: Cinderella

I don’t care how 90s this makes me, I love the version of Cinderella with Brandy and whoever that smokeshow prince was. And I always love a good Rodgers and Hammerstein show. It’s sort of nice how this revival is just genuinely and unironically Cinderella. Like, it’s the difference between naming a baby Barbara because it’s your grandma’s name and naming your baby Barbara because all of the other hipsters have used the good old-lady names. I just can’t get too excited, is all. My praise is this, then: this revival of Cinderella is like a baby unironically named Barbara in 2013.

Upper-Middle or Possibly High [The Huxtables in the TV Family Class System]: Motown The Musical

There’s no good reason this should be too much fresher than Cinderella. I mean, this could be a baby unironically named Sharon. I just really like these songs, though! I Want You Back is one of my top cleaning/ chopping veggies tunes and that little boy is SO good! Plot? Who needs it!

Pretty High [Like When You’re Doing A High Five But It’s With Someone Smaller Than You Like Maybe A Child]: Cyndi Lauper winning best score for Kinky Boots

Is her accent real or just an impression of Rizzo from the Grease movie? Or a NY-area pickle vendor from the 1930s? I don’t know and I don’t need to know. I love it.

Middling [Like A Regular Five With Someone Your Same Height]: The performance from the Annie revival

Like any glitter-blooded hammy American kid, I loved Annie. Still do. But I wasn’t much more blown away by this performance than by your average good local production of it. Jane Lynch got laughs, but it seemed more like that “haha, there’s Jane Lynch” thing that happens with stunt casting, not so much her performance. Also, the adorable and talented little girls are seriously borrowing Lauper’s accent, right?

Very High Indeed [Like The Woman On The Bus Last Week Who Pulled On One Of My Curls Then Asked My Ethnicity]: Anna Kendrick

She only presented an award, but we’re fans here. I just like when she’s around.

High [Like a Thermostat On A Winter Day]: A Christmas Story: The Musical

Ladies and gents, 2013 is the year of musicals with a title followed by “colon – The Musical”. I don’t know if this musical is any good. I don’t care, either. The marriage of one of the most beloved Christmas films ever and the musical genre? I don’t object. Also, tap dancing.

Middle [Like A Christopher And Banks In The Center Of A Shopping Mall In The Middle Of The County In The Center Of The State That Is The Middlemost Point In Middle America]: Phantom Of The Opera

If Rodgers and Hammerstein is naming your daughter Barbara without irony in 2013, and Motown is naming her Sharon, this is naming her something crazy-80s yet flashy at the same time. Khrystall or Tyffani perhaps?

A Little Low [Like Realizing That Post-College You Can’t Drink Without Getting A Hangover]: The moment I realized that Billy Porter looks better in a dress than I do.

High But Trying Not To Be High [Like my friend in college who was smoking and started talking about how communist China was the best set-up in the world, and I told him “Yeah, unless you’re a baby girl”]: Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors In Memorium

This song always gets me. Remember the Dove commercial or something when a bunch of self-confident Girl Scouts sang it? Ugh. But it’s even worse when it’s played over an in memorium slideshow with Lauper on a melodium or something. I don’t want to love it, but I sort of love it.

High [Like A Beautiful Eagle Flying Higher Than You Can Dream]: Cicely Tyson

I understand that technically everyone is created equal. I just can’t help but feel that some people are actually a little better than the rest of us, though. Cicely Tyson is one of those people. Don’t think that I’m just saying that because she’s almost 80, either. Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman-era Tyson was every bit as superior to you as well.

High Because It’s Low [Like that one song that reminds you of whatever it is that makes you saddest, that you still listen to sometimes to remind yourself that you still can feel]: Once: The Musical performance

Once is one of my favorite movies that I have seen only once or twice and may not be able to bring myself to watch again. I love The Swell Season but they’re kind of a downer, in a hurts so good kind of way.

Low and Deep [Like that pit in your stomach when you check your work email on Sunday night and find out that Monday’s going to be crazy.]: The embarrassment that in 2013 we’re treating New York State Of Mind like a relevant song to parody.

5Jun2013

S#*t Justin Bieber Says

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by Traci

Remember this kid?

You might know him better now as this dude:

Young JB has grown up before our very eyes, and as of late, it seems like his breakup with Selena may have done quite a number on him. From drugs on his tour bus to reckless driving and being chased down by a NFL player, the Biebs has been pushing his limits of stardom – and this was all in the past two months!

But hey, let’s keep in mind that the kid is only 19. If he was in college right now, he’d probably be doing the same exact thing, and probably even getting into more trouble. However, that doesn’t make up for some of the dumbass things he’s said in the past. Here are a few gems from the Bieber archives…

On Prince William’s thinning hair

“I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia. I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?” {x}

On offending Italians, Catholics, and people everywhere

“Do me a favor, don’t go nuts, because more and more you see the mural, and, like, the Sistine Chapel on a guy – it’s just too much.” David Letterman on Justin’s tattoos
“Don’t worry. I’m not going for the Sixteenth Chapel look.” Genius
“Canadian high schools.” Letterman

Speaking of education…
“It’s kind of hard to balance school and work sometimes. But sometimes, like, if I’m going to the White House and I’m in there doing a tour and stuff, that’s like school.”

On being a (semi) minority in Canada

“I’m actually part Indian. I think Inuit or something? I’m enough per cent that in Canada I can get free gas.” {x}

On inspiring young World War II teen heroes

“Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.” {x}

On his ever important stance on abortion
“I really don’t believe in abortion. It’s like killing a baby.”

On making it through a long press day (kid’s got jokes)
Interviewer: “What keeps you grounded?” Bieber: “Gravity.” Interviewer: “What’s up, Justin?” Bieber: “The sky, man.”

On religion
“When life knocks you down to your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray.”

On something that still makes no sense
“I’m not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.”

On his idols
“The day I was born, March 1, 1994, Celine Dion was solid at #1 with ‘The Power of Love.’ Not a bad start to your life.”

“If I can do just one-tenth of the good that Michael Jackson did for others, I can really make a difference in this world.”

On getting that Justin Bieber swag
“I have a swagger coach that helps me and teaches me different swaggerific things to do… He has helped me with my style and just putting different pieces together and being able to layer and stuff like that.”

On Twitter, doling out words of wisdom to nearly 40 million Beliebers

“Live life full”

“Gonna take some time”

“I like to sleep. Alot”

“u gotta laugh in life”

“Sunday comes after Saturday? Weird.”

Finally…

“So remember, this is Bieber’s world. You’re just living in it. Bieber or die.”

3Jun2013

Movies That Should Be Made Into Musicals

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by Traci

Last weekend I saw Prisilla, Queen of the Desert at the Pantages here in LA. It’s part of the season subscription I have with my friend, so let’s just say I wouldn’t necessarily purchase these tix unless it came with our subscription. It was entertaining, had great costumes and was aesthetically pleasing, but that’s pretty much it. If you don’t know, it’s based on the 1994 movie of the same name, which gained a lot of popularity back then. The costume designers won an Academy Award, and it was even nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Picture, Comedy or Musical.

In full disclosure, I haven’t seen the movie, but I don’t think I really need to in order to get the idea. It got me thinking, since this musical based on a movie can run for 2 years on Broadway, and it isn’t even that good, what other movies could be good on stage? (For the record, I’m in full support of original shows first, before any producers take my ideas seriously) I recently found out that one of my favorite movies, Ever After, is back on track to hit Broadway, and a lab is currently underway starring Jeremy Jordan of Smash and Newsies. I have high hopes for Ever After, so maybe the following movies could be the next Billy Elliot or Matilda? What movies do you think would be great musicals?

Slumdog Millionaire

Slumdog Millionaire // Main on End Titles from mgfxstudio on Vimeo.

The end scene alone is why this she hit the stage. Just imagine all the Bollywood numbers!

Enchanted

I just think this movie is so great. If I was a kid I would watch this over and over again until the DVD broke. As an added bonus, Ever, Ever, After, a song by the great Carrie Underwood could be included in the show, not just the end credits. Plus, there’s even the chance that Idina Menzel could reprise her role as McDreamy’s girlfriend and sing a jealousy-belting song that steals the show.

Down With Love

This wasn’t a movie that garnered a lot of critical reception – or fans – but I loved it. Inspired by 1960s romantic sex comedies, Ewan McGregor plays a typical male lothario, while Renee Zellwegger plays a feminist who’s all about female independence. And guess what happens in the end… The music in the movie is done by Marc Shaiman, the genius behind Hairspray and Catch Me If You Can (another movie-turned-musical), so it’s perfect for Broadway. If only more people would be interested in it.

That Thing You Do

THE OH-NEED-ERS!!! This was one of those movies I had to watch anytime it was on TV when I was growing up. Just like the fictional Wonders were a pop sensation in the 60s, they were my fave fictional band in the 90s. How could you not love these guys? How could you not love this song? How could you not love Tom Hanks?!

Save the Last Dance

I basically just want to see this scene played out IRL.

Empire Records

Totally unintentional, but looks like I really enjoy movies with Renee Zellwegger, Liv Tyler, and Ethan Embry in them. This was another cult hit from the 90s that could have the potential to include some great 90s type rock songs. Or it could turn into High Fidelity.

30May2013

Live Blog: Scripps National Spelling Bee

Posted in Entertainment, Live Blogs by Molly

Good evening and welcome to our liveblog of the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Or, as I like to call it, Nerd Superbowl. Speaking of the superbowl, this is the one time every year that many of us will be voluntarily tuning into ESPN, so everyone, give yourselves a few minutes to track down the channel. Keep refreshing the blog to catch our updates, and follow our live tweets on Twitter — @cookiessangria

Like homeschooled 5th graders and NPR fans everywhere, I’ve been waiting all year for this. Literally, this time — I read American Bee: The National Spelling Bee and The Culture Of Word Nerds right after last year’s bee, and was pretty bummed I’d have to wait 12 months to see it play out.
Remember the big bee news of 2012? The youngest speller ever, 6-year-old Lori Anne Madison competed. She got dinged out on “ingluvies.” Cute kid, but can’t spell ingluvies? What are you, a kindergartner?

I honestly have tattoos older than her.

Ugh, who am I kidding. Even though she has a name from 1973 (a good thing, as Lori is 10,000 times better than Madycynne or McKaeighlah), this kid wasn’t even born until I was a few years into college. Lori isn’t here this year, but I don’t think we’ve seen the last of her. I sincerely hope that she’s being seven right now and constructing a blanket fort or making a village out of tissue boxes.

This year, the hot story is that the competitors have to take a vocab test. FINALLY. If there’s one problem with spelling bee kids, it’s that they’re dumb and lazy and don’t know enough about words. Thank God we’re finally weeding out those bozos!
The Bee begins with a kind of confusing Matilda The Musical tie-in. I can only guess that we’re trying to reach out to all distinct nerd groups, from word to theater to eventually science. I can only guess they’ll bring in Doctor Who eventually.
Really embarrassed to remember some of these kids. Favs: Vanya, whose sister won a few years back and is ADORABLE, and Arvind, who has more charm than any child since Jonathan Lipnicki told us all how much the human head weighs.
Dr. Jacques Bailly is seriously just the Tim Gunn of the National Spelling Bee. What a dream.
Do kids with misspelled names get ashamed during the bee? Or are they drawn to it to correct their parents’ mistakes? I’m looking at you, Christal Schermeister.
Guys, if I’m mean about Christal Schermeister, it’s just because she’s clearly going to grow up to be far more intelligent and attractive than me.
First ding out! Bummer. I try not to get too attached to anyone during the early rounds. I’m sure many Panem citizens used the same tactic during the Hunger Games.
A little more spelling bee background: the kids arrived in D.C. last weekend, and I guess they just go hog-wild in a hotel this week. I mean, as wild as kids who spend all day studying the dictionary can go. It’s like rumspringa for a very particular kind of Amish person.
Vanya Shivashankar knows French very well. I mean, of course she does. Best kid ever. BTW, her sister Kavya is here and she’s so grown up! Off to Colombia already.
Amber Born: “Is the sentence funny?” Amber wants to be a comedy writer. Amber, girl after my own heart. Please come by and write for us sometimes! As long as you promise not to judge our spelling which is, admittedly, not always awesome. The announcers say she’s a dark horse. Move over, Arvind, I have a new favorite.
Sriram is from kind of near me! This matters to none of you. I’ll stop. He gets singerie, which is from French. Apparently when I was taking college French I told Traci that it was the language that they speak in hell. I don’t remember saying that, but it seems like something I would do. Such weird pronunciations! Full disclosure: French was my grandma’s first language, so I’m not just being a jerk. I’m being a jerk to my own beloved family members.
Arvind’s drama teacher sees him in a red smoking jacket. I’m sorry, is he a precocious 8th grader or Hugh Hefner? I’m confused.
Here is a fantastic spelling bee video (not from today). This kid is my new comedy hero. He was totally punking her:
Oh man, I remember Vismaya from last year. She did pretty well and had a distinct air of being probably too cool for this business. Damn, Vismaya. You’re smooth. Delivered “sciomancy” like it was nothing even though she was obviously not sure of it.
Grace is pictured diving into one of those pits of foam blocks, which was a childhood dream of mine thanks to all of the gymnastics centers that opened up after the ’96 Olympics. There are also a bunch of trampolines, which reminds me that Amanda Bynes was photographed at a trampoline center at my old city, Buffalo. First of all, I never knew there was a trampoline center there. Second, I am really curious as to what string of events lead her to a Western New York trampo-gym. Buffalo’s right at the border, so maybe that.
Bailly and co. tried to recreate those commercials where kids are sitting around being asked questions. I love those commercials, but I can’t say that they’re all that effective, because I can’t remember what they’re for. Was it phones?
Grace Remmer is chronicling her various awkward stages that appeared during the bee. Listen. Like most American kids, I can remember my spelling bee downfall painfully well. I was a major bookworm with the vocabulary of a nerdy adult, but I didn’t have an exceptional spelling prowess. See, if they’d had the vocabulary test then, I might have been okay. Anyway, I made it nearly to the end of my elementary school bee, only to be struck down by “counselor.” To be fair, I don’t think we got definitions, and I spelled it councillor, which is a homophone or close to it. Whatever. Anyway, Grace reminds me that it’s not like I’d really want my 11-year-old mug visible on the internet today, anyway. I had the Frizz No Butterfly Clips Can Tame.
Christal’s little sister looks majorly concerned. Somebody didn’t study “doryline.” Oh shit. Countdown clock. Bye, Christal. It’s been real. With the sorry spelling genes that your parents passed down, it’s a miracle you made it this far. I mean, Christal?
According to the spelling bee kids via Mackelmore, the ceiling is no longer able to hold them.
Vanya, stop asking questions, you know this. I was about to wonder whether she got teased with Uncle Vanya references at school, but probably not, right? Because she’s a child?
Amber Born reminds me of Traci and I when we first became friends, except actually accomplished at something other than recording The Rosie O’Donnell Show so we didn’t miss it during our afterschool activities.
I know envoutement totally LOOKS like a word, but when you pronounce it with a fancy French accent, it sure doesn’t SOUND like one. I reiterate: The Language They Speak In Hell. With all due apologies to my dear, late Grandma. But I think there’s a reason she always spoke English with us, you know?
[The reason is my demonstrated inability to speak French properly, probably]
This may be the first time I correctly identified a history-based root. Sansculottic, related to the sans-culottes? Yeah, I KILLED AP European. That’s right.
Vismaya is from Bountiful, Utah. Was that the town with all of the plural marriages? I read a book on the FLDS but don’t really remember. She’s clearly too cool to take part in that though:There are nine spellers left. NINE. Don’t they know that ~~kids~~ stodgy 20-somethings are watching with strict bedtimes to attend to? Come on, Bailly. Stop playing so nice.
Can we talk about redshirting? When I was in eighth grade, maybe half of the kids had turned 14 by the end of the school year. I’d think with all the homeschooling happening, most of these kids would be ahead of grade level for their age. There are a few too many 14-year-olds, is all I’m saying. I’m only regular-smart**, not spelling-bee smart, and teachers even asked my parents if they wanted to skip me ahead a grade. I’m sure some of these old kids are being kept at eighth grade status just to eke out another year of eligibility.

** A cold truth to all of you precocious kids out there: eventually, you’ll be average. I may have had a sixth grade reading level in kindergarten, but by law school, I just had a law school reading level. There’s a silver lining, though. That means parents can chill out about trying to teach their babies to read and their 2-year-olds to multiply. Eventually, they’ll probably be exactly as dumb as everyone else.
FYI: When there’s an accent mark, the kid doesn’t have to say it. The more you know.
Trivia: Vismaya’s mom used to be an actress in India. She got the word right, which is nice, I guess, but I am seriously getting sleepy here. Please start being less excellent, children.
Awww. Grace Remmer just got a standing ovation after she dinged out. She’s been here 4 years in a row. Such a likable kid! She’s temporarily taken over for Amber Brown as my favorite of the moment, because SOMEONE had to get eliminated so that this thing ends.
ESPN tells me that Nascar will be on in two days. Why do I guess there’s not too much overlap in these 2 audiences?
The winner gets $2,000 worth of reference works from Encyclopedia Brittanica. I’m sorry, do people still use encyclopedias? Other than my dad, who pulls down his 1976 Encyclopedia Americana because he doesn’t remember to use Google? In case you’re wondering, my parents are also the people who still use phone books as phone books.
This kids difficulty with the pronunciation of kaburi reminds me of this gem:

BOWERY. BALLERY? Bowery. BALLERY? I don’t know if this girl has a hearing impediment or a speech disorder, but either way, I’m going to hell. I’d blame this debacle on a regional accent, but the girl is from Philadelphia. I lived there. I’d understand the confusion if they asked her to say water (“water.” “WOODER?”) or eagles (“eagles.” “IGGLES?”), but bowery should be fine. Just kidding, love you guys, send me some Tastykakes, go Iggles.

The announcers just said one kid was the most consistent speller. But, if you’re still on the stage, isn’t it because you’ve gotten everything right? So all of these kids are equally consistent? Well, it’s not a logic bee.
So long, Vanya. Unlike most of these red-shirted 14-year-olds, she has two years of eligibility left. I’d really like to see her win one of these years!
Guys, Born gets laughs just for walking on stage. Girl’s going places. The last person I remember getting laughs for a mere entrance was Cosmo Kramer.
Goodbye, Vismaya! Fortunately, she will seldom come across the word paryphrodrome to haunt her again. It is so obscure that my spell check can’t even tell me how terribly I just butchered it.
Amber Born is out. Want to know a secret, Amber? Comedy writer is a cooler title than spelling bee champion, anyway.
They just announced that this can’t go on all night. I think I may have heard all of the angels of heaven singing hymns of joy and praise. 25 more words. I can stay awake for this. Maybe.
Sriram’s out. Don’t cry, little buddy. There is no way that ptyalagogue is even a real word.
AHH WE’RE DOWN TO ONE SPELLER! I’M NOT USING CAPS BECAUSE I’M HAPPY FOR THE WINNER I just really want to go to bed.
Oh my God, Arvind could win! This kid! He gets a German word last. German is his language-nemesis. I get this. Right, French?
Guys, I just want to do something so amazing ONE TIME that ticker tape confetti is thrown all over me. One time. Other than attending a ticker-tape parade. Love his look of utter shell-shock.

That’s all, kids! Thanks for reading and thanks even more for ignoring all of my spelling mistakes. I’m a bit of an armchair QB as far as spelling bees go.

And Amber, if you want to write a guest post, we’ll be here waiting.