Ridiculous Pretty Little Liars Plot Lines You Forgot Happened

It’s been a very long, twisty road, PLL Army, but we’re finally at the end of the road.

Season 7(B) of teen drama Pretty Little Liars kicks off tomorrow, and honestly, it’s about time. Regular viewers got sucked into the mystery of “Who Is A?”, the mysterious person who stalked, tortured, and harassed teenage girls for years. Everyone became a professional conspiracy theorist, taking every single hint on the show and turning it into their own personal A lair.

And fans can attest that throughout the seven years there has been more than enough red herrings and insane moments that either made us question what the eff was going on, or why the eff we’re still watching this show. And there are so many of them that it’s hard to remember every single one. Before we dig into the final 10 episodes, let’s take a look back at the previous 150 episodes and see just how many ridiculous plot lines we’ve had to accept as canon over the past seven seasons.

  • Before Emily came out as a lesbian, she had a boyfriend named StraightGuy. At one point, he attempted to assault her in the girls’ locker room, but Toby came to rescue and beat him up. Tender is the Toby/Emily friendship.
  • While glamping, A hits Hanna with a car. At this point in the timeline, Mona is A. Mona aka Hanna’s BFF, hits her with a vehicle.
  • Spencer, the most scholarly of the liars, willingly takes off her bra in order to get back on the Decathlon team. It’s the Sixteen Candles underwear scene of Rosewood.
  • Rando You’ll Never Meet Again #4 is Duncan Albert, a dude who used to be Alison’s secret summer boy toy. He arrives to Rosewood in hopes of meeting with “Vivian Darkbloom” (TL;DR) and ends up meeting Aria. He happens to have his pilot’s license, so natch he invited her up in his two-seater for a romantic fly over Pennsylvania. And then he LETS ARIA, WITH NO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE, STEER THE GD PLANE.

  • Caleb just lived in the school. IN the school.
  • Mona falls off a cliff. And lives.
  • Emily gets a gift from A, and instead of a Tiffany’s necklace, she gets a necklace made of out teeth – teeth that belonged to her dead girlfriend.
  • Speaking of teeth (BECAUSE THAT’S THE TYPE OF SHOW THIS IS), instead of giving a teeth necklace to Hanna, A decided to play dentist by performing surgery on her while she was unconscious, and then left the world’s tiniest message in her tooth.

  • The girls became models for a bridal show (again, they’re teenagers), and Spencer finds out that her corset wasn’t the most comfortable because it had finger bones in it. Duh.
  • Ravenswood.
  • In order to relieve stress for a v important swim meet that could determine her collegiate future, Emily rubs muscle lotion cream on herself to make her calm down. Except the cream was actually poisonous steroid cream that A obvs had a hand in. At the hospital, Em got even more bad news, because doctors discovered the steroids in her blood, which is never good for someone who wants to be a professional swimmer.
  • Aria’s dad’s mistress (and later Rosewood High teacher) Meredith, tends to a sick Aria, not in a ‘let me make you chicken soup’ kind of way, but in the ‘i’mma slip drugs into her hot tea’ kind of way. And then she locks her inside her bedroom, but when Aria tries to get out, Meredith knocks her unconscious. Hanna and Emily arrive to help save Aria, but then Meredith locks them up too. Reminder: all these girls are high schoolers.
  • Spencer gets trapped in a sauna:

  • Spencer and Aria get trapped in a freezer:

  • Emily and Jason get trapped in an elevator:

  • Emily gets trapped in a coffin (which is on a conveyor belt closing in on a chainsaw):

  • Aria gets trapped in a box on a Halloween train (with a dead body):

  • Spencer, Aria, Emily, and Hanna all get trapped in a dollhouse (complete with replicas of their own real bedrooms):

  • Not only does Spencer have an Adderall addiction, but it’s actually a relapse since she was hooked on the drug before. There’s even a scene where Maddie Ziegler shows up in Spencer’s drug-addled dream:

  • During one of PLL’s famous Halloween episodes, a little girls shows up at Hanna’s house looking for her mom. Instead of, I don’t know, calling the police (which everyone in Rosewood apparently has an aversion to), Hanna’s mom Ashley leaves her alone in one of their rooms, but when she comes back to find her, little girl is gone – BECAUSE SHE WAS A GHOST.
  • There was a bird named Tippi who repeatedly sang a phone number
  • And this. This is what Toby looks like in jail:
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My Fantasy Comic-Con

Nerds unite! San Diego’s annual Comic-Con kicks off today, and thousands of folks are swarming the city to talk comic books, graphic novels, TV shows, TV shows based on comic books, movies, movies based on comic books and more. I personally am not one to enjoy big crowds and waiting in line for hours, so I don’t get the appeal. Ironically, I am in San Diego on a visit for pleasure, and am an idiot for picking the one week to go to SD when lit’rally everyone else is here. But that’s besides the point.

If Comic-Con was smaller and involved more things I liked, I would totally be for it. So if you’re waiting in line for whatever is in Hall H right now, take a minute to read my ideal line-up for a personalized Comic-Con, because let’s face it, you’re gonna be there for a while anyways, so why not read our blog?!

Orphan Black

I know there’s already going to be a bunch of OB events throughout the weekend, but what if there was one panel that was just Tatiana Maslany, and she would pretend to be everyone. Including all the clones and her fellow cast members. This might not be physically possible, but it is Comic-Con, everyone has an imagination there, right?

HBIC

Every year, Entertainment Weekly holds a Women Who Kick Ass panel, featuring ladies who do a particularly good job of showing people who’s boss with their physical and mental prowess. Similarly, I propose a HBIC panel (that’s Head Bitch In Charge for you plebs), expanding the list of women who not only kick ass in entertainment, but who also exude qualities of great leadership, a positive role model, and is an all-around BO$$. Panelists include, but are not limited to: Emma Watson, Tatiana Maslany, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Poehler, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kerry Washington, Mindy Kaling.

Sizzling Superheroes

Like Magic Mike, but of the superhero world. Including Chris Pratt, Michael B. Jordan, RDJ, Chris Evans, basically all the Avengers.

Heroes Season 1

Remember how good Heroes was? Specifically the first season? I’m not particularly attracted to sci-fi shows until a bunch of other people tell me to watch it. However, Heroes had the added value of Milo Ventimiglia being in it, of course from Gilmore Girls fame. I quickly became one of the millions of other viewers who became obsessed with the show and even managed to stay with it until the end, despite basically hate-watching it. If the cast of the first season could just come together and talk about that and maybe the WGA Strike second season, that would be ideal.

Teen Witch

I watched this 1989 classic for the first time a couple years ago, and I fell in love with it. It captures the essence of the ridiculous fashion sense of the time, the corniness of teen romances, and there’s also a horrible/amazing rap scene. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and get acquainted with it. But in a nutshell Louise (Robyn Lively/Blake’s older sister) turns 16 and gets magical powers, and has to decide if she wants to use them for good. It’s been just over 25 years since the movie came out, and it’s been a cult hit ever since. I don’t necessarily need a sequel, I just want to see what these folks think of its popularity all these years later.

Pushing Daisies

Pushing Daisies was a short-lived, three-season show that found a cult following, but not big enough for it to stay on the air. It was romantic, critically acclaimed, well acted, and unique, perhaps so much so that it was too high-concept for the viewers at ABC and middle-America to follow. The main plot is that pie-maker Ned (the wonderful Lee Pace) has the ability to bring things and people back to life with his touch. It definitely falls under the Cancelled Too Soon category, and perhaps bringing the cast back together can muster up some sort of Netflix mini-series event?

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

I’m not gonna lie to y’all – Are You Afraid of the Dark? actually managed to scare me. I played it off when I was talking about it in school, but in reality, I could basically only watch the campsite scenes and parts of the ‘reenactments’. What’s impressive about the show is that it’s been a pop culture staple in many millennials’ lives, whether you were frightened or not, and because we tend to forget details as children, many of us may not know that there were a lot of now-stars to get their start on the show. People like Elisha Cuthbert, JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Vanessa Lengies and Clueless TV star Rachel Blanchard were all in the Midnight Society, while guest stars included Ryan Gosling, Neve Campbell, Hayden Christensen, Jay Baruchel and Emily VanCamp. Let’s get all those folks together with a fire and some sand, shall we?

The Event

watermarks be damned – this pic still makes my brain explode

Did I watch this show because our best friend Scott Patterson was in it? Yes. Was it weird to me that two of Lauren Graham’s former onscreen gentleman callers (Scott/Luke and Jason Ritter/Mr. Cyr from Parenthood)? Yes. Do I want this to be a panel at comic-Con just so they can explain to me the plot of the show? Also yes.

Early Edition

Coach Taylor before he was Coach Taylor, when most of the masses were introduced to the extreme talent that is Kyle Chandler. This was one of the shows I probably was a little too young to watch, but luckily for CBS, the only things I really remember about the show are Kyle Chandler getting the newspaper a day early, the blind woman, and a cat. Plus, any excuse to be in the presence of Kyle Chandler is worth it. PS – you can watch full episodes on the YouTube!

Community

Because #SixSeasonsAndAMovieAndAComicConPanel

Pretty Little Liars

Stop fucking around and just get to who Charles/-A is and WHY and HOW he is tormenting these high schoolers.

Tres Por Tres and Other TV Shows Lost in Translation

I was recently having a conversation about Full House, as you do, and my one friend, who is originally from Colombia, mentioned that when she watched it back home, Full House was called Tres Por Tres. Translated, this means Three by (for) Three, which quite literally is the premise of the show – three daughters and three men raising them. We obviously proceeded to look up YouTube clips and found out that in the opening credits, there’s a woman introducing each actor. Is this necessary? Probably not, but it’s entertaining.

And then she remembered that while everyone else’s name is the same (and Kimmy is ‘Kyyymmeee’), DJ is “Dejota” and we simply could not get over this. In fact we made it into a hashtag because Deej’s name en Español is so fun to say. You can hear Kyyymmeee say her name quickly at 1:55 in the clip below:

Either I’m fluent in Spanish or I understood all that because I’ve seen that episode so many times it’s almost embarrassing (a combo of both). Of course Full House isn’t the only show called something completely different in another language. Here are a few other programs that aren’t exactly what you’d expect they’d be titled around the world.

Arrested Development

Sweden: Firma Ruffel & Bygg  = Company Monkey Business & Construction

To be fair, “Company” and “Construction” are probably giving too much credit to The Bluth Company.

Six Feet Under

Russia: Клиент всегда мертв = The Customer Is Always Dead

It’s actually the customer’s family member that’s always dead, but vodka/vodka, right, Russia?

Breaking Bad

Bulgaria: В обувките на Сатаната = In The Shoes Of Satan

Creepily accurate.

The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Brazil: Um Maluco no Pedaço = A Crazy in the Area

Fortunately, the Crazy in the area turned into the permanent crazy in the neighborhood.

Murder, She Wrote

Germany: Mord ist ihr Hobby = Murder Is Her Hobby

I’ve actually never seen an episode of Murder, She Wrote, so is this title right, or not? What am I missing here???

Two and A Half Men

Germany: Mein cooler Onkel Charlie = My Cool Uncle Charlie

The Germans probably weren’t expecting Charlie Sheen to go all Tiger Blood and die (twice) *spoiler alert?? ugh who cares* when they chose that title.

Pretty Little Liars

Finland: Valehtelevat viettelijät = False Seducer

DOES FINLAND KNOW SOMETHING WE DON’T KNOW?? IS -A FINNISH?? IS ARIA -A BECAUSE SHE USED TO LIVE IN ICELAND AND THAT KINDA NEAR FINLAND?? THEORIZE, LIARS!

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Poland: Tajemnica Amy = Mystery Amy

Is Poland doing an ABC Family crossover with PLL? What’s the mystery with a girl who got knocked up at 15?

Gilmore Girls

Poland: Kochane klopoty = Dear Trouble

I know Gilmore Girls backwards and forwards and I still don’t understand why it’s translated into “Dear Trouble”.

30 Rock

Brazil: Um Maluco na TV = A Crazy on TV

Just ONE crazy on TV? There’s too many to choose from.

Beverly Hills, 90210

Brazil:  Barrados no Baile = Barred From the Dance

Again, I’ve never seen a full episode of Bev Hills, but I’m assuming like many teen dramas, there are a fair share of dances, and I’m under the impression these kids were cool enough to at least attend one spring fling.

How I Met Your Mother

Finland: Ensisilmäyksellä = At First Glance

OKAY but Finland is up to something here. Based on what happened in the finale, did Finnish Craig Thomas and Carter Bays purposely title it At First Glance as a call back to the pilot when Ted first puts his eyes on Robin?? Because At First Glance is wayyyy less misleading of a title than How I Met Your Mother.

Scrubs

French: Toubib or not toubib = Doctor or Not Doctor

The answer is: ‘Barely’.

Everybody Loves Raymond

Israel: Mishpacah Lo Bochrim (משפחה לא בוחרים) = You Can’t Choose Your Family

While the Israelis have a good grasp of the concept, Everybody Loves Raymond executive producer Philip Rosenthal took his efforts to Russia in hopes of creating a version of the show in Russia called Voroniny, a play off the family name. He documented his journey in a documentary called Exporting Raymond, which is a great watch if you’re into this stuff and have read this far.

Married… With Children

Estonia: Tuvikesed = Pigeons

Estonia thinks they’re pigeons, and Hungarians call them “A Terribly Nice Family”… which one is the real show??

Bottoms Up: Our Favorite TV Baristas

It’s National Coffee Day! Normally I skip over these made-up-sounding holidays, but when I think about things that really make a difference in my day-to-day life, coffee is at the top of the list. A few weeks ago I had to go to a lake house with a janky coffee maker (my life is hard!) and waiting 15 minutes and jostling the machine to get the coffee to brew was the worst thing ever – particularly because, cruel fate, I had to do that before I’d had coffee. Not to mention the few times I’ve started my Keurig without a cup under it – again, a harmful byproduct of having to make coffee before you’ve had coffee.

That’s why, although teachers and administrative professionals and dental hygienists all deserve their respective fake holidays, people who make us coffee so we don’t have to are the real heroes. They’re the ones who keep our streets safe (because they make coffee for police officers), our population healthy (because they make coffee for doctors), and bring joy and laughter to our world (by making coffee for comedians or, if you’re into that, clowns). And how about the baristas who keep our favorite TV characters going? Today, I raise my mug to them:

Gunther, Friends

Gunther – full name Gunther Centralperk? – is a barista with “hair as bright as the sun” who did not father Rachel’s child (“that hair on a baby?”). He was full of hope – an aspiring actor who once appeared on All My Children, chronically enamored with Rachel, and ever expectant that he’d be let into the Friends clique. Ah, Gunther. You may not have been part of the primary crew, but you did something even more important: provided laughter, coffee, and – briefly – employment to the people we really cared about. Fun fact: James Michael Tyler was a real barista who earned his role, in part, due to his ability to operate an espresso machine.

Luke Danes, Gilmore Girls

At Luke’s diner, coffee was made with love – years and years of unrequited love – and served with a little bit of judgment. But as much as Luke scoffed at the Lorelais caffeine habit, he knew that it was important and was always ready with a mug of coffee and a tousled baseball cap. October 1, guys. We’re almost there.

Larry The Cook, Seinfeld

Sure, Monk’s Cafe was a full service restaurant – I mean, any restaurant that doesn’t serve a Big Salad can get out – but let’s not forget that the characters frequently referred to it as a “coffee shop,” so we all know what the main attraction was (other than the Big Salad). Larry (Lawrence Mandley) was the owner, but we can’t forget the supporting players who brought coffee to New York’s finest: checkout lady Ruthie Cohen and weird temporary owner, Mr. Vilaski.

The Waitress, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

I don’t think there’s a good way to explain The Waitress’s storyline on It’s Always Sunny if you’re not already familiar with the tone of the show. Just know that she’s a career waitress – after a Starbucks opens across from her cafe, she also gets a job working at a Ruby Tuesday-esque chain restaurant.

Roseanne, Bonnie, Jackie, and Nancy, Roseanne

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. And sometimes, you just want to go where nobody cares at all what your name is, they just sort of gruffly serve you black coffee and pie.

Kit (and the full cast of Cafe Nervosa employees), Frasier

Frasier, more than any show, reminds me of the aspirations of the 90s. I watched this and – when I understood what was going on – felt like some day I, too, could order cappuccinos, own a laptop, and have my hair cut into The Rachel. Cafe Nervosa was really serving up that dream. The cafe was a Seattle coffee shop during that magical age when Starbucks still felt sort of special, and all of the employees – mostly randoms, but also Frasier’s one-time girlfriend Kit – kept our favorite tv psychiatrist well-caffeinated in true 90s style.

Emily, Pretty Little Liars

A teen can’t just run away from/towards A all the time – she’s got to make money, too. This has worked well for plot devices like having Emily working at Jenna’s party, because what high schooler didn’t want to have her birthday party at a coffee shop? Although, doesn’t working as a barista seem like more of a Spencer thing? It’s only a matter of time before someone serves up a latte with a cursive A squiggled into the foam.

Ruby/ Red, Once Upon A Time

If there’s any job that’s cuter than working in a cozy little diner, it’s working at a cozy little diner… in small-town Maine … in a village populated entirely with fairy tale characters … and also you are Little Red Riding Hood. Seriously, though, everything here looks amazing, and Ruby is the perfect coffee shop worker/ waitress who always remembers everyone’s orders (cinnamon hot chocolate, amIright?) and is super nice, even though she looks sort of scary because they dress her like she bought the Hot Waitress Halloween costume from Spencer’s Gifts.

The Coffee Shop Workers Of Portland, Portlandia

I think everyone’s been to that coffee shop that has so many rules for how to order (which Italian word meaning “large” is the large, again?) or how to behave (no laptops??) that you feel like someone must be playing a trick on you. But no, some baristas just take their work that seriously. This Coffee Shop Manifesto penned by the baristas of Portland is one of those “funny because it’s true” TV moments.

Actors That Have Tricked You Into Thinking They’re American

Listen, we can’t all have a keen ear about these things. It happens to the best of us. One minute, you’re trusting the hardass CIA deputy director to Claire Danes, and the next thing you know he’s a classically trained British chap, who (semi-spoiler?) may or may not be a bad guy . What’s with all these actors and their constant lying? Shouldn’t we have a right to know if the people on my TV are American citizens?!?

Well my friends, I’m here to help you find out the truth. We don’t deserved to be lied to any longer and it’s coming to an end right now.

Hugh Laurie

British <- click to reveal their real accents!

Let’s start off with a pretty obvious one. Most people know him from House. I didn’t really watch House, but I had seen him and his convicing dribble as a psychopathic doctor. But when House became really popular, I realized I had seen Hugh Laurie before his breakout role. BECAUSE – he was the guy who sat next to Rachel Green on the plane when she was heading to London to break up Ross’s wedding. Hugh Laurie saying “Pheebs” is all you need in life.

Idris Elba

British

tall drink of water, amirite ladies??

First of all, smokeshow. Second of all, I was introduced to Idris when he was guest starring on The Office as Charles Miner. Incidentally, the gals of the office all fawned on him, especially Kelly & Angela (for some reason) that it was like they were thinking exactly what every woman at home was thinking. Then I found out he is British and it made him even hotter.

Ed Westwick

British

“I’m Chuck Bass.” Now imagine that with a British accent. The part was always an American, but when Ed came in, as seen in the video linked above, they asked him to use his natural accent as well. And for some reason, it’s just so much better as an America.

Damian Lewis

British

Nick Brody, terrorist? If you’re not caught up with Homeland, I won’t answer that question. But one thing we d know is that while he may not be a terrorist, he’s most certainly not originally from the U.S. And to make your mind blown even more, he’s married to Helen McCrory, the woman who played Narcissa Malfoy in Harry Potter!

David Harewood

British

This lit’rally blew my mind when I found out he wasn’t an American. I mean the deputy director of the CIA’s counterterrorism department isn’t actually from the U.S.?! Isn’t that illegal or something? This dude went to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. No wonder he’s successfully tricked us into thinking he’s one of us.

Matthew Rhys

Welsh

Oh Kevin Walker. You were 1/2 of one of my fave gay TV couples of all time with Scott MacFarlane’s Scotty Wandell. After five seasons with the crazy Walker family in California, he moved on to being a Russian spy in the 1980s with Felicity in The Americans. He’s played such convincing Americans that I still can’t believe his accent when he starts talking.

Rachel Griffiths

Australian

Speaking of Brothers and Sisters, Matthew’s on-screen sister is also not born and bred in Southern California. Her other iconic roles in Six Feet Under and the cousin in My Best Friend’s Wedding were so flawlessly American that I legit almost forgot to to put her on this list.

Kevin McKidd

Scottish

McDream, McSteamy, McKidd? Surprise – Cristina Yang’s on-again, off-again hubby has a seriously thick Scottish accent. Like they recruited him to be a voice in Brave.

Jesse Spencer

Australian

Hugh Laurie wasn’t the only trickster on House. Smokeshow Jesse Spencer is now off being a smokeshow in Chicago Fire. He doesn’t even have to talk to get my attention. SIDENOTE: JESSE PLAYS VIOLIN.  AND SINGS. LIKE LEGIT. HELLO?!

Sam Palladio & Clare Bowen

British & Australian

What’s more American that being a country music star? Nothing (ok, maybe being President.). Which is why I feel jipped knowing that Nashville’s power couple are BOTH not ‘Mericans!

Tammin Sursok & Sasha Pieterse

Australian & South African

These two don’t really get along on Pretty Little Liars,  but they do have one thing in common – they’re not originally from the U.S. Maybe that’s part of the reason why they’re toururing the PLLs??! Could they actually be working together? OMG  I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON IN THIS SHOW.

Georgia King

British

Most convincing American accent by a female actress goes to Georgia King in The New Normal – RIP. You should’ve watched it when we told you to.

Dominic West

British

I’m currently watching The Wire for the first time, and did not put it together that Dominic West, who plays Jimmy McNulty on the show, is the same guy from 300, John Carter, and The Hour. AND he’s British? Never would’ve guessed.

As Seen on TV: The Fashion of Pretty Little Liars

HAPPY PLL DAY, Y’ALL!!!!

Pretty Little Liars is back for a fourth season tonight, and we’ll find out who SPOILER ALERT IF YOU’RE NOT CAUGHT UP is in the back of the trunk dug out of the pond, if that was really Ali in the red coat, and if Aria’s brother Mike still exists (no but really, where IS he?).

One of my favorite things about PLL is the fashion. Not only do I covet most of the things the girls wear, but I find it fascinating that these four girls from a suburban Pennsylvania town have that much style and money to feed their fashion addictions – yes I know it’s only a TV show, shut up.

Here are a few of my favorite looks from over the seasons for the main PLLs. Bonus: links to where you can purchase their attire! Shout out to Worn on TV, Fashion of Pretty Little Liars, and Fashion of PLL for the links!

Aria Montgomery

When my friends and I get together to watch PLL, we take on each of the characters from the show (ugh, again, shut up), and I am Aria. Personally, she’s a little more edgy and out there than I am, but I still love a lot of her looks.

Season 3, Episode 21: Cardigan from Urban Outfitters – sold out 😦

Season 3, Episode 21: Chiffon Skull Shirt from Bloomingdales – also sold out

Season 3, Episode 8: Pins & Needles Jeweled Collar – again sold out folks. Sorry I keep picking bad ones!

Season 3, Episode 10: Karen Millen Lace Print Blouse

Season 3, Episode 11: Anthropologie Meticulous Floribunda Chemise

Asos Genetic Denim Studded Mini Dress

Emily Fields
Emily’s the sporty, more tomboy one of the group – and yes, she’s a lesbian too. So her style is usually more comfortable and laid back compared to the other PLLs.

Season 3, Episode 12: Urban Outfitters ByCorpus Acid Wash Chambray Button Down Shirt

Season 3, Episode 13: Staring at stars Maxi Tank top dress

Season 3, Episode 24 : Anthropologie Goldleaf Cocktail Dress

Season 3, Episode 19: Urban Outfitters BDG Leopard Print Chambray Button-Down Shirt

Spencer Hastings

Spence is probably my favorite character out of all the PLLs, she’s wicked smart, witty, and willing to put her friends in their place when need be. Natch this comes across in her style.

Season 2, Episode 25: Free People Gianna’s Limited edition leather and lace gown – out of stock 😦

Season 2, Episode 12: Coast Rosa Ribbon Dress – No longer available

Season 2, Episode 4: pins needles strapless lace dress – no longer available

Season 3, Episode 15: Pique Blazer from Zara – sold out

Season 3, Episode 8: Urban Outfitters Staring at stars Ikat Pencil Skirt

Season 3, Episode 24: Anthropologie Harlequin Cord Shirtdress

Hanna Marin

Hanna is the ‘girliest’ and most feminine out of all the PLLs, and she’s super in to shopping and style, and if you remember – shoplifting too.

Season 3, Episode 16: Karen Millen Colorblock Sculptural Dress

Season 3, Episode 22: Zara studded jacket  – sold out

Season 3, Episode 23: Sparkle and Fade dress from Urban Outfitters

Season 3, Episode 19:  Sparkle & Fade Georgette Sleeveless Shirtdress – sold out

Season 3, Episode 19: Zara blouse- out of stock (i actually just love what the costume designer decided to do with layer the black tank top and necklace!)

Season 3, Episode 23: Citizens of Humanity Avedon Jean in Cream/Gold (love the black leather peplum top too! It’s from Urban but sold out too CÖ Vegan Leather Peplum Tank Top)

Finally, what PLL fashion roundup would be complete without redcoAt???

Via Spiga Fall Rain Trench Coat

TV Characters’ Bedrooms That I Covet

As a kid, your bedroom is an important place. It’s the only place that’s really YOURS – or maybe shared with one or two other people, but still. It’s a no-grownup zone, and though your parents probably made you clean it and set some parameters, you had a bit of free reign as far as decorating went. I seriously went with it – in fifth grade, when I got a new bedroom, I went antiquing to pick out the right accessories, and pored over catalogs for months until I found the right bedspread. Even now that I’m older, I love seeing character’s home spaces on tv. Like a child’s room, the way these people decorate their bedrooms – the place in their house that outsiders wouldn’t usually see – tells you a lot about their character. Plus, the set designers just make them look really, really cool. Until I was preparing this post, I didn’t realize that set decorator would probably be my dream job. Here are some of my favorites.

Clarissa Darling Obviously, right? Clarissa’s bedroom had everything! Her own computer game system. An amphibian named Elvis. Multicolored, hand-painted furniture. Mismatched quilts. A hat collection. Partially painted-over wallpaper. Hubcaps. License plates. SAM.

Carrie Bradshaw

I know Carrie’s apartment is pretty unobtainable, but I love how her bedroom wasn’t TOO perfect. It was cozy, with bookshelves and a big comfy duvet. Even her radiator was cute. I remember reading an interview with the set decorator back when Sex and the City was still on, and she said that Carrie’s apartment was done in the shades of a bruise, since she was a little brokenhearted when she moved in. While that sounds grody, it’s actually a really pretty color scheme – soft gray, light green, and shades of blue and violet.

Jess Day

While the word “adorkable” could go away forever, this bedroom kind of IS adorably dorky. I love the bright teal wall contrasted with the brick, the clustered prints over the bed, and the fun printed bedspread. I could actually see Jess picking out all of these items. While Jess has some ditzy moments, she’s a teacher so we know she isn’t dumb. I’m happy to see some books in here to remind us of that.

Literally All of the Main Teens in Pretty Little Liars

I like how dark Aria’s room is, actually. Plus the gumwood gives it a craftsman vibe, and all I really want right now is to own a pre-1940s bungalow. My dream Arts and Crafts house is on the market now, about 10K too high and 4 months to early for me to buy it, so this is all a little fresh for me. Anyway.  The window seat is to die for. I’m usually not too into bedroom wallpaper, but this is so soft and pretty with the light furniture and white  french doors. I wish I could find a picture of the whole bedroom, because while the decor is pretty dainty, Spencer has a hardcore desk/bulletin board situation. So Type A! I know at some point we’ll all be over gray as a neutral (we got there with taupe, after all), but Hanna’s bedroom is just so nice. I’m less jealous of the bedroom and more of the adjoining bathroom with a clawfoot tub. I’ve always sort of wanted a white iron bed, so of course I love Emily’s bedroom. Plus an alcove AND a window seat!?! Between that and the cheerful, but not to bright, yellow and green color scheme, this is a winner.

Cora, Countess of Grantham

This image is from http://chameleon-interiors.blogspot.com/2012/02/downton-abbey-putting-downton-to-bed.html, which has a great analysis of Downton Abbey bedrooms, if you’re so inclined.

Really, I love all of the bedrooms in Downton, but I especially like how, despite the heavy furniture and being in a stone castle, this feels breezy and airy. I love the fireplace, too – so cozy! I expect that this bedroom comes fully equipped with a lady whose job it is to brush and braid my hair before I go to sleep. It goes without saying that I picked Cora’s bedroom over Mary’s because a Turkish houseguest didn’t pass away in the bed.

Based on the above list, I think I have some criteria for a perfect bedroom. Sloped ceilings or an alcove, mixed prints, giant plush bedding, books, and some kind of windowseat or built-ins. When I was a kid, I loved kids’ rooms with multiple sets of bunkbeds or rows of beds. Like Madeline, except that I don’t want to live with a dozen French orphan children. Basically, if I end up in a tiny house with a ton of kids, I’ll be all set, decorating-wise. Otherwise, I’m screwed.

Show You Should Be Watching If You Aren’t Already: Pretty Little Liars

Before you judge, just know that this may be on ABC Family, but it rivals the likes of any teen suspense/drama (think Gossip Girl circa season one). Every episode keeps you guessing – to an almost upsetting insane person faux detective-like manner.

In a nutshell, PLL (as it’s known affectionately by its viewers) centers around four teenage girls, Aria, Hanna, Spencer, and Emily, in Rosewood, Pennsylvania. In the pilot episode, we discover that their BFF, and leader of their clique, Alison, mysteriously disappeared the year before. Their group started to fall apart after her disappearance, but they soon begin receiving cryptic, and usually threatening, messages from an anonymous source using the name ‘A’.

The girls begin to think it’s Ali, until police find her body and proclaim her dead. Which obvi means that someone else is targeting them. The weird thing is that A knows the PLLs secrets, including the ones they thought only Ali knew. They find out that Ali was in fact stalked by A too, so the girls set out to find out more about Ali’s death and who A is, but they risk their lives and the lives of their loved ones, in the process.

Now that you have the basic plot of the show, here are the main reasons why you should watch. Season three ends on Tuesday, March 19th, but comes back on June 20th, so you have plenty of time to catch up on Netflix instant before the fourth season begins!!

Conspiracy Theories

me, being a creeper during the season 3 summer finale party

Unlike any show I can think of, every episode of PLL leaves you with questions. You want to know why so and so said that misleading comment, or why this person is talking to this person, and most importantly, you want to know who A is. In saying this, sometimes, shows are just better when you watch it with friends. For about the past year, a group of friends and I meet to watch PLL, and talk about our thoughts and theories about the show. There are so many clues and plot lines that it’s just easier to try to solve the mystery if you have multiple minds working together. And we’re not the only ones who watch together and come up with theories – just ask the internet. Plus we’ve taken to picking out characters for ourselves and playing a fantasy PLL game, which makes it even more fun to watch!

Fashion

i wanted that tribal sweater, but it legit sold out!!

All the PLLs have their own distinct style, which makes you wonder where these girls get the money to pay for such nice outfits. But on every episode, I am frantically searching the webz to find out if there is an affordable version of what the girls are wearing. My favorite sites to find the fashion seen on PLL (and TV in general) are Possessionista and Worn on TV.

Unexpected comedic moments

I’d say 80% of this show is suspenseful and dramatic, 15% is romantic, and 5% hilarious. I was never good at percentages, so don’t quote me on that. But once in a while, one of the four main girls will say something ridiculous that comes out of nowhere and it’s great. Here’s one of my favorite moments, that might not be funny if you don’t know what they’re talking about, but in context it was hilar. They’re talking about this girl who they’ve suspected to be working with A, and she’s been blind since the beginning of the series. Until she magically got her eyesight back…

The Men of PLL

As much as the show focuses on the PLLs themselves, it’s also about the men in their lives who have a huge impact on them. I mean from a British doctor to shirtless Toby to Paolo from Lizzie McGuire. And Mr. Fitz. Ohhh Mr. Fitz (I’m the Aria in our group, can you tell?)

Is this for a Tween or just Fashion Forward?

I am an adult.

I am an adult who has tween like tendencies.

I am an adult tween.

Sometimes when I’m shopping, I just can’t help myself from veering into the Juniors section because there is some legit cute stuff there. But in the crazyness of the shopping haze, I don’t realize it until a week later when I wear said purchased items out that I realize I might be too old to wear it.

My latest conundrum comes into the form of this sweater, purchased at Kohl’s (which has the ultimate Juniors black hole of clothes).2013-03-01 15.26.30

Here is Pretty Little Liars star Ashley Benson wearing a similar, yet much more expensive ($229 at Wildfox Couture) version on TV. She plays a teenager.

stop cramping my style, bitches -A

However, here is Dr. Mindy Lahiri on The Mindy Project wearing the same sweater in a different color and still looking cool.

BTW, watch The Mindy Project. It’s good.

This is the constant struggle in my life, and I can’t believe it’s actually a big enough problem that I felt like I needed to address it on the inernets. But I can’t be the only one, right? Ugh, being a girl.

Where Are They Now: American Juniors 10 Years Later

American Juniors (album)

This was actually the first album cover to be partially funded by the Power Line Council Of Southern California (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

During the summer of 2003, a ragtag group of moppets competed on an American Idol spinoff.  American Juniors were a musical group, and one child would be voted into the group every week. This was less harsh than American Idol because no one was voted off, per se, but ultimately it was pretty brutal. Everything was fine til the last episode, where you had to see all of the kids who didn’t make the cut watch their dreams die, all at once. Fox just couldn’t get the “children’s reality show” thing down, and this was no Kid Nation. Not to mention, a lot of the song choices were better suited to people over the age of consent. Alas, nothing quite says “throwaway summertime reality programming” like 9-year-olds singing about one night stands.

I can’t quite figure out who this was marketed to — kids? old ladies who think every little child reminds them of their grandchildren? creepy people?– and apparently Fox couldn’t, either, because the show never reappeared after that summer. Traci and I loved it, because even at 17 we were watching series that we were technically too old to be interested in (see also, Lizzie Maguire, Degrassi). In Young Adult, Charlize Theron’s character watches American Juniors – you can see a frame of it in the background at one point, but what can I say,  I have a good eye for this type of thing – and at that moment, I knew I’d have an affinity for her character. Intentionally or not, this show does have a certain appeal for a certain kind of person. And if I had to wager, I’d imagine that this type of person still cares a little bit about what the American Juniors are doing, a decade down the road:

Taylor and Tori Thompson

This looks like those flashcards they use to teach people how to read emotions.

From my fascination with the Olsen twins, I have learned that siblings reach an age where they want to be considered individuals. Once their WalMart line launched, you were supposed to call them Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen, not Mary-Kate and Ashley. And even at the time, I was kind of like “you guys, it’s WalMart, though, you know? Maybe save the individual billing til you start designing for realsies.” And they did.

The point is, I probably should be giving these two separate entries, but I’m not. Taylor was older and had brown hair, and Tori was younger and blonde. I vaguely remember their mom saying something about how Taylor always thought her sister was prettier, but they were both cute kids and looked really similar, actually. Besides, Taylor got voted in first, so booyah, Tori!

  • Age Inappropriate Songs Performed: Love The One You’re With: a celebration of one-night-stands and infidelity. [Lyrics: Don’t be angry – don’t be sad/ Don’t sit crying over good times you’ve had/ There’s a girl right next to you/ And she’s just waiting for something to do […] If you can’t be with the one you love honey/ Love the one you’re with

The Thompson Sisters Today

This really happened.

The Thompson Sisters really love reality singing competitions, I guess, because they appeared on The Voice in 2011. They auditioned jointly, acknowledging that no one is going to view them separately anyway, a lesson that MK&A should probably just learn already. CeeLo turned around during their Stuck Like Glue performance, and the rest was history.  A brief history — they were off the show early into the live rounds,  but not before performing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy (with a posse of swing-dancing “Bugle Boys”), and voice battling to Unwritten (which I love because it makes me feel like I’m about to watch The Hills). Find them on Facebook, YouTube,   and Twitter.
As we could have predicted in 2003, the sisters are still good singers and have nice hair.

Chauncey Matthews

This little kiddo was cute as a bug’s ear. He didn’t make much of an impression on me, though, because that’s really all I remember about him. Chauncey was the only boy to make the group, meaning Fox failed to even deliver a few viable pre-teen heartthrobs to keep ratings up.

  • Age-Inappropriate Song Performed: Hey There Lonely Girl: Chauncey didn’t perform anything too egregious, but we all know that the guys who go after the lonely and insecure gals are bad, bad news, and this tune is a pretty shameless rebound attempt. [Lyrics: You think that only his two lips can kiss your lips/ And make your heart stand still/ But once you’re in my arms you’ll see/ No one can kiss your lips the way I will]

Chauncey today

From Matthews’ twitter; click for link.

According to the twitter account of someone called @therealCHAUNCEY, who I am assuming is the real Chauncey, he is a singer/songwriter/arranger and a student at Berklee. Impressive! In my two-minute scroll through his Twitter feed, Matthews uses the words “stoned,” “sex,” and “Hennessy,”  but I’m pretty sure he’s still like nine years old so I’m just gonna go ahead and forget about that.  On January 2 he tweeted that “these grades suck,” so hopefully that’s going better for him by now. You can also find him on Facebook, so check there if you’re in Boston and are creepy enough to want to see him perform live.
Anyway, I commend Chauncey for continuing to follow his dreams, and also for maintaining a strong web presence so that I didn’t have to try too hard for this one.

Lucy Hale

Before the search for A took over her days and nights.

Lucy was the elder statesman of the American Juniors — with the current age requirements on American Idol, she practically would be eligible for that these days. But things were different in 2003. American Idol claimed that it was going to create a bona fide pop sensation every season, and for that reason it didn’t allow contestants to be too young or too old. Lucky for Lucy – come on, lucky for America – she barely squeaked into American Juniors’ age range, and looked like Chauncey and Tori’s cool babysitter.

  • Age Inappropriate Song Performed: Call Me: I’m glad Blondie pointed out that ladies can make booty calls, too, but I just don’t think that’s an appropriate activity for 13-year-olds. [Lyrics: Cover me with kisses, baby/ Cover me with love/ Roll me in designer Sheets/ I’ll never get enough.]

Lucy today

I don’t really understand what Aria’s wearing or how it resolves itself under the cut, but all the other pics were HUGE.

I don’t feel like I should even have to do this. If you ever actually cared about American Juniors, you’d know that Lucy plays Aria on the hit ABC Family show “Pretty Little Liars.” Hale is indisputably the most successful American Junior. She also signed with Hollywood Records this year.

Danielle White

Last to be voted in, but first in my heart. Danielle was just a sweet, sensible kid in upper elementary school with musical talent and parents willing to take the gamble that reality TV wouldn’t screw her up too bad. Like Chauncey, I can’t remember much about her.

  • Age Inappropriate Song Performed: None, really, but I suppose Daydream Believer. She sang that she woke up with a gentleman old enough to be shaving. So much for puppy love? [Lyrics: The six o’clock alarm would never ring/ But it rings and we rise, wipe the sleep out of our eyes/ The shavin’ razor’s cold and it stings]

Danielle today

According to Wikipedia, Danielle appeared in several high school productions, in which she probably showed those kids how it was done, if my memory of her S Club 7 cover serves me. She also apparently was in a movie called Beautiful Noise in 2011. I never heard of it, although I was briefly excited when I got it confused with Joyful Noise. In any event,  it sounds like a winner if key phrases from the IMDb summary are to be believed. “Rollicking, modern-day musical drama?”  “Free-spirited young singer?” “Searches cross-country?” “Reclusive, aging pop-rock icon from the sixties?” Clearly relevant to my interests.

Keep checking Cookies + Sangria for an update on some of the losers, or, because they were just kids, I suppose “the ones who didn’t win!”

UPDATE: Bios of the non-winners are up here!