7 People Who Should Say: “Live From New York – It’s Saturday Night!”

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by Traci

My earliest memory of watching Saturday Night Live was sometime in seventh grade. It was around the time I first got a TV in my bedroom, and since I only had basic cable, there was very few programs to choose from. But I stayed up late on Saturdays because of this All That-like show that was way funnier than its Nickelodeon counterpart could ever be.

And this was the “Golden Age” of Will Ferrell, Tracy Morgan, Cheri Oteri, Molly Shannon, etc. etc. Needless to say, I came in at a good time. From there, it wasn’t before long that I fell in love with Jimmy Fallon, saw Corky Romano in the theater because of Chris Kattan, and memorized the cheerleader songs.

Basically, what I’m trying to say here is that I love SNL and here are some celebrities I also love that should host the show, thereby making me the happiest person alive.

John Krasinski

JKras is most definitely number one on my list -the rest are in no particular order. If you only know him from his work on The Office, take the time to check out some TV interviews (like this one as a marionette, and this one with Time). He’s the most charming son of a bitch ever, and obviously comedy comes easy to him.

Adam Scott

Parks and Rec. Party Down. The random episodes of Boy Meets World. Adam Scott is one of the best straight men out there. He’s already proved he can act alongside some of the best SNL-ers in the biz, obvi Queen Amy, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, so why not throw him in with the newbies?

Donald Glover

I’m a little biased because I’m a Filipino girl in love with Childish Gambino, but hey, Donald Glover also used to write for 30 Rock. In fact, he was working there when the show won one of it’s 30 million Emmys. What I’m saying is that 30 Rock and SNL are obviously one in the same, so can Lorne just get the guy to host?

Joel McHale

If this man can host The Soup in front of a green screen and an audience of 30 people, I’m sure he can take on SNL. Think of all the Housewives sketches he could be in…

Lauren Graham

My girl crush/favorite actress/imaginary best friend is obviously on this list. She, just like John Krasinski, is hilarious in interviews. My love for her of course started with Gilmore Girls, but it was pushed over the edge when I saw her on Ellen. I then proceeded to YouTube every LG interview available because she is just so awkward and hilarious. And I might actually die if she graces the SNL stage.

Blake Shelton

Ok, so country music isn’t usually in my normal song rotation, except for Carrie Underwood. So like a lot of people, I was introduced to him on The Voice. The dude is actually hilarious. He’s drunk and he’s honest and he’s hilarious. Watching his Christmas special just confirmed that the guy legit has talent, not only as a singer, but a comedian too.

Anna Kendrick

Slowly moving up the list of my girl crushes/favorite actresses/imaginary best friends is Anna Kendrick. Again, she won my heart watching multiple interviews with her quippy, sarcastic humor. Basically I believe we could actually be friends. And not only would she bring her humor to SNL, she can also bring her singing talents too. I mean, legit tears with her singing. She’s aca-awesome.

4Jan2013

Beyond Moist and Panties: Five Words That Are Awful

Posted in Lists by Molly

Slurp. I don’t think I have to elaborate on this. I’ll just add that it’s even worse if the object of the slurping (I’m SORRY, okay?) is a gross or slimy food. Slurping oysters? We have a winner… If by winning, I mean everyone loses.

Hunker down. I know this is just me. It makes me picture a family huddled in their basement, in squat position, scrunching up their faces in worry and contemplation. God, they’re probably even playing dominos or something similarly pathetic, all ‘hunkered’ like that.

Men of the community of Pie Town, New Mexico e...

These public domain New Mexicans look pretty hunkered. (Photo credit: The Library of Congress)

Duty. In law school, this was my word-nemesis. My person-nemesis was a guy in my trial technique class who made me cry because he was mad at how much better than him I was at fake trials, but I digress. Try not giggling as you discuss a “serious duty.” Say it aloud if you have to.
Poop, you guys. It sounds like you’re talking about poop.
[Law school word-nemesis runners-up: Taint, tortfeasor.]

Juices. This one is context-specific, and is only horrible when it’s not referring to actual, acceptable, fruit-derived liquids. I was grocery shopping with a friend once who said he couldn’t find the aisle with the “juices” for his Swiffer. I think I hit him. But that was six years ago and he’s doing fine. I promise. More importantly, he’s learned to never talk like that again because it’s disgusting and everyone hates it.

Smear. See also, schmear.
What’s that? Do I want a schmear on my bagel? No. Never. Because I’m not awful.
You’re telling me to liberally smear sunscreen on my skin after swimming? Well, I’m telling you to liberally shut up. This word’s only acceptable in the context of making sure that you don’t have HPV.

Wouldn’t this taste better if you just called the stuff on top “some cream cheese?” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

3Jan2013

Five 90s Pop Songs You Missed While Listening to Dashboard Confessional

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by Traci

Listen. If you know me, you know that I make it no secret about my love for pop music. I mean, I’m going on a Backstreet Boys cruise later this year.

So I feel like it’s my duty to share with y’all some classic songs you may have not heard before, or at least in a very long time. Also, since I’m not in 7th grade anymore, I feel like I can freely share my favorites without being judged. Too much, at least.

A*Teens – Sugar Rush

If you were to open my iTunes right now, this Swedish pop band would be the very first artist in my library. Why did I have two of their albums? And why did I delete all but 4 of their songs from my computer? I haven’t listened to this song in about 5 years, and upon re-listening to it, I realized just how perfect a pop song it is. Catchy melody and lyrics that don’t really make sense = classic pop song. Well done, Abba reincarnate.

Best line: “I got a sweet tooth and a taste for you… you’re the sweetest thing I ever tasted. Baby you’re my sugar rush.”

Hoku – Another Dumb Blonde

Original iMac! Cute boy with floppy hair! Single from the 2000 movie Snow Day OST! All the items needed for a quality 90s one hit wonder. Oh, and get ready to have your mind blown. Hoku is the daughter of Don Ho!!! Ok, maybe your mind hasn’t been blown because you have no idea who that is. Don Ho was the Hawaiian singer who was made famous by his catchy tune ‘Tiny Bubbles.’ Still nothing? Maybe I know who he is because my parents used to make me watch The Lawrence Welk Show on Saturday nights #thisexplainsalotaboutmysociallife

Best line: “Last night I went to a party hoping I’d see you there, and sure enough you were hanging on some other girl playin’ with her hair.”

Westlife – World of Our Own

Of course the 90s weren’t the 90s without boy bands. And this one seemed to be the biggest one in the world – except for the States. Westlife hailed from the U.K., and only had one semi-popular song in America, called Fool Again. I think I discovered this jam when I was in the Philippines, because of course, they were the shiz there. I’m not sure if that means they were behind the times or if we were. (PS: if you understand what the premise of this video is, please let me know… creepy police/dominatrix/downtown/cgi theme?)

Best line: “You make me feel funny when you come around.”

2ge+her – Every Minute Every Hour

You’re saying to yourself, ‘But 2ge+her isn’t even a real band.’ But in a warped way, their parody of the successful boy bands made them an actual successful boy band. And I was totally to blame for their popularity. I watched the movie and was prepared to be offended, but instead, I was lured in and bought both of their albums. Irony of all ironies – this song was written by BSB member Howie D himself.

Best line: “I can’t forget when you left, When we said goodbye. I know it’s hard to carry on, Can I survive?”

M2M – Don’t Say You Love Me

Another band from across the pond, this song was probably the Norwegian pop duo’s ‘biggest’ hit. You can thank the Pokemon soundtrack for that. Their voices are a tad bit annoying and nasally, but hell if I don’t sing along to this jam.

Best line: “The next thing I know we’re down at the cinema, We’re sitting there, you said you loved me. What’s that about?”