Live Blog: Emmy Awards 2014

It’s a very exciting day for us because it’s Emmys Day, y’all!! Today is our Super Bowl, and we’re super excited to see what kind of shenanigans go down (on a school night). We’re kicking things off around 8pm EST/5pm PST, so come back and join us! Friendly reminder that we’re too cheap to update and get legit liveblogging technology, so please refresh this page every 5 to 10 minutes for our up-to-the-minute updates! Also, feel free to join us on Twitter as we’ll be updating that too.

If you want to follow along, fill out our handy dandy C+S Emmys ballot by clicking here!!

ALSO: Today also marks the start of our Back to TV Week, which means for the next four days, we’ll be discussing one of our favorite topics – television! As sad as it is to see summer come to an end soon, it also means that our fave shows are coming back and we’ll be talking about that too. So check in all this week, TV nerds!

emmys seth

M: Christina Hendricks is wearing a red sari-inspired dress. Now, I’ve heard my whole life that redheads can’t wear red – and internalized it to the extent that when we used to make fun of my friend’s Hardcore music, my fake lyrics included “I don’t think I look good in red!” But Christina Hendricks does look good in red, obviously. But the real star here is her husband Geoffrey Arend, who has the cutest little face.

Hayden Panettiere is pregnant – with, she says, a girl baby. Her boobs are way the hell out. Hayden’s, that is.

Julie Bowen is wearing a very pretty floral dress. Am I crazy or do some of the flowers look blurred out, like they were witnesses to a mafia crime?

January Jones: you know how bangs make some people look like they’ve entered the same witness protection program as Julie Bowen’s floral dress? That’s what’s going on with January Jones.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, one of my favorite humans, looks amazing in a reddish, hot pink-y dress. Her clutch goes onto the “clutch cam” and that thing is full of finger prints (it’s gold) – so in whatever crime I’m lining up witnesses for, we have some forensic evidence.

Heidi Klum is proving that “intermediate red-pink color” is really the shade of the evening! She’s also proving that next to her, everybody else looks like an actual monster.

Lena Dunham looks like she would do roller derby.

Sarah Silverman just opened her clutch to reveal a vaporizer. All the cool kids are going to be hanging out in the bathroom with Sarah and her vape pen tonight.

Jimmy Fallon gave a shout-out to his wife and baby, who he says love E! Apparently baby Winnie has inherited Jimmy’s ability to have everything be his favorite.

KATE MCKINNON. Unlike in emails from your mother, that caps lock was both intentional and necessary.

Claire Danes: also in red. Givenchy. She looks like a Christmas ornament and that’s a compliment, I freaking love Christmas.

T: Literally said outloud: “OH MY GOD TAYLOR KITSCH” and clutched my heart. Forgot it was a possibility he’d be here. Thanks, The Normal Heart.

M: I don’t understand Kerry Washington’s dress. When I was a kid there used to be an infomercial for The Infinite Dress, which was like 18 different dresses in one. That’s how I feel here. I still want the infinite dress, BTW.

T: POEHLER IS A FREAKING VISION.

M: Did I miss her?? I saw a picture on tumblr but I’ve been switching between E! and NBC.

T: They briefly showed her walking in front of photographers on E!, but alas, no interview. She is wearing all silver like a GD goddess.

M:OK, I did catch that. When I have a day when I feel extra gross looking my mental refrain is always “Ugh, I hardly look like a person.” That’s how I feel about Amy Poehler tonight. But, I mean, in a positive sense. How are you a real person??

So, I have a friend who has face blindness, basically. Like, he didn’t recognize his sister because she changed her hair. Anyway, that’s how I feel tonight. Because first January Jones, now Gwen Stefani. She looks nothing like herself.

Laverne Cox is taking a page from Amy Poehler by not even looking like a person. She looks like an ANGEL. OITNB really cleans up nice.

T: For anyone wondering why this is all going down on a Monday and not Sunday like normal entertainment awards shows, it all has to do with Sunday Night Football in September and the MTV VMAs already booked for last night… a lot of drama. Just like in TV. See what I did there?

M: Oh, I saw.

You know around Christmas or on vacation when people say that there’s “too much excitement” for little kids, like they just can’t handle it? That’s how I feel about the VMAs and The Emmys back to back like this.

T: Amy & Tina responded to “New phone, who dis?” to Seth, which is also something I hope they will text ME one day.

 “That’s right Jesse Pinkman made it. The serial killer on Dexter made it, but your mother didn’t make it kids, good night.” BUT THIS THO. #StillSaltyAboutHIMYM

 M: UGH.

Seth’s analogy between HBO and that one kid who turned out way better than you thought he would is super act. It’s come a long way from Grease 2 and Fraggle Rock.

“Duck Dynasty was the most VCR-taped”.

 T: I was really hoping Amy would give Fred the award but whatever. Ty looked really shocked. Also is the announcer doing the thing where she gives out random facts about the winner? “Ty was raised in Oregon”. Yeah, and “Amy Poehler was born as the second coming of Christ.”

M: “Amy Poehler’s first childhood memory is emerging fully formed from the sea atop an open shell.” Yeah, we’re substituting our own “fun facts” from this point forward.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Adam Driver, Girls

Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family

Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Fred Armisen, Portlandia

Tony Hale, Veep

 Traci’s Pick: Tony Hale, Veep

As much as I like JTF/Ty Burrell/Modern Family, I’m really glad Tony Hale broke their winning streak. Besides the fact Tony’s hilarious in Veep, I also just want to see what bit he’ll do if he wins this year.

Molly’s Pick: Tony Hale, Veep

Exactly what Traci said.

WINNER: Ty Burrell, Modern Family


M: Yawwwwn. Ty Burrell seems like a very nice man and Modern Family is funny. But this is starting to feel like Cheerios winning Best Cereal. It’s good and all, but isn’t there something else out there by now?

T: Peter Pan looks wicked skinny, no?

M: She does know she doesn’t have to look like an 11 year old boy who lives on an island just yet right? [That was mean. The Emmy Awards would make me either stress-skinny or stress-eat, too.]

Outstanding Writing For A Comedy Series

David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik, Episodes

Louis C.K., Louie

Liz Friedman and Jenji Kohan, Orange Is The New Black

Alec Berg, Silicon Valley

Simon Blackwell, Tony Roche, and Armando Iannucci, Veep

Traci’s Pick: Louis C.K., Louie

If this wins, it’s because of this scene right here.

Molly’s Pick: Liz Friedman and Jenji Kohan, Orange Is The New Black.

I’m not even clicking on that link because it makes me cry which I don’t think was the intent.

WINNER: Louis C.K., Louie

 T: … why was Zooey SO EXCITED for Louie to win? Are they secret BFFs??

M: I hope so!  But for an outstandingly written comedy episode that one sure did make me tear up a lot. These categories are getting pretty fuzzy.

T: “One half of the comedy team Guillermo and Kimmel. Please welcome Kimmel.” I legitimately LOLed at this.

“I mean alright alright alright already.” Remember when McConissance talked about Pluto or Venus or whatever at the SAG awards??

M: We probably should have done a prediction for what he would rant about this year.

 Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series

Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory

Julie Bowen, Modern Family

Allison Janney, Mom

Kate Mulgrew, Orange Is The New Black

Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live

Anna Chlumsky, Veep

 Traci’s Pick: Kate Mulgrew, Orange Is The New Black

Since this is the first year for OITNB in the Emmys, I feel like they’ll walk away with at least a few trophies. The brilliant Uzo Aduba (Crazy Eyes) has already won the Guest Actress in a Comedy Series prize, and hopefully Red will follow. Also, if Kate McKinnon wins I will run around my room screaming of happiness.

Molly’s Pick: Anna Chlumsky, Veep.

Sometimes I pretend I’m a Selina but I’m really more of an Amy. I will join you on your victory lap if Kate McKinnon wins. Or Kate Mulgrew, actually. 

WINNER: Allison Janney, Mom

T: Allison Janney – love ya girl, but I didn’t realize that the 90s trend of velour is back in style. I mean I knew it, but I refused to believe it. You know what would make this speech amazing? If she did a version of The Jackal. That’s a little The West Wing ref for you folks.

M: Holy velour. It can stay in 1994 with choker necklaces. Someone wore one at the VMAs (Katy Perry??) and now that the 90s are over, the only people wearing chokers should be teen ghost girls from R.L. Stine books who need them to hold their heads on.

Also, Mom is a show on television, apparently.

T: OH FUCK. This Parenthood promo just made me cry. A 20 SECOND COMMERICIAL.

M Me too, because I somehow didn’t know it was the farewell season?? NO.

T: Unforunately, yes. Parenthood AND Parks ending in one year is basically the end.

M: Shit. Maybe I need to start watching Mom.

I appreciate that the folks at NBC are giving us a countdown until Jimmy Fallon shows up.

T: So this directing win for Gail Mancuso for Modern Family is actually worth it for this speech.

T: Billy! I hope Elena shows up!

M: Like Elf, the Billy On The Street where he goes caroling with Amy Poehler is a Christmas thing that I could watch basically all year for a mood lift.

T: “Goble” OMG I AM CRYING.

M: Billy: “Miss, You’re a lesbian, you’re watching Orange Is The New Black?”

Lady: I am, but I’m not a lesbian.

Oh, ma’am. Your haircut says, at the least, that you entertained the idea in college. 

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Ricky Gervais, Derek

Matt LeBlanc, Episodes

Don Cheadle, House Of Lies

Louis C.K., Louie

William H. Macy, Shameless

Traci’s Pick: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Just realized 5 out of 6 of these nominees are on cable, which is really interesting for this category. Remember the days of Fraiser and Everybody Loves Raymond? Anyways, I’m just saying Jim because he won last year.

Molly’s Pick: Louis C.K, Louie

This is literally the only show on this list I watch so that’s where my brain is. Also The Big Bang Theory makes me feel icky.

WINNER: Jim Parsons

M: I hope he says “Did I do that?” or whatever the hell his nerd catchphrase is.

T: Ugh. I hope Jim’s pay raise is worth all this. #Bazinga.

M: Ah yes, there it is.

T: I really like when Seth introduces his guests as “my good friend {insert name here}”. He’s good friends with a lot of people, I’ve found.

Ok, I need Jimmy Fallon elaborate on the whole Miley Cyrus homeless teen thing last night at the VMAs bc Jimbo looked mad confused.

M: “Amy Pueblo, Parks And Recreation”

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series

Lena Dunham, Girls

Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Taylor Schilling, Orange Is The New Black

Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Traci’s Pick: Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Just like at the Golden Globes earlier this year, I’m saying Amy just so it’s out there in the universe in hopes she’ll win her first Emmy. If JLD wins, that’s cool too, but come on. Amy.

Molly’s Pick: Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

I’m also using The Secret on this one and picking Poehler. Agreed about JLD.

WINNER: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep 

T: Oh boy. We love Amy, obvs. But JLD always makes her acceptance speeches worth it. (Also I just stood up in hopes that would help Amy Pueblo win)

M: The comedy actress category always gives me a knot in the stomach. I feel like Venus and Serena Williams’ parents must feel.

Outstanding Reality-Competition Program

The Amazing Race

Dancing With The Stars

Project Runway

So You Think You Can Dance

Top Chef

The Voice 

Traci’s Pick: The Voice

My heart will always and forever be with SYTYCD, but I don’t think it ever has a chance of winning. Hopefully I’m proved wrong.

Molly’s Pick: The Voice

Oh God. There are so many categories in this damn awards show.

WINNER:The Amazing Race

T: It’s like an Amazing Race to get up to the stage, amirite?  (SYTYCD WAS ROBBED. YET AGAIN.)

M: Since SYTYCD didn’t win, the absolute only thing I cared about with this category was that Mindy Kaling and John Mulaney presented it.

T: Everything that comes out of Melissa McCarthy’s mouth is pure gold. Everything.

M: This bit is reminding me of the Q and As in the Carol Burnett show. All of my references are things your weird old aunt would say.

T: COLIN! CECILY! FRED!! I WANT TO BE IN THE SNL CORNER!!!

M: New awards show format idea. Just read out the rest of the nominees real quick then let us listen to the SNL corner talk amongst themselves for the next 2 hours.

T: I’m into it.

T: Do you think Larry Kramer is in the corner cursing and on his way back to NY right now?

M: I wish this was the Golden Globes so he and Amy Poehler could just get drunk together and talk about how they deserved to win. 

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Frances Conroy, American Horror Story: Coven

Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Coven

Angela Bassett, American Horror Story: Coven

Allison Tolman, Fargo

Ellen Burstyn, Flowers In The Attic

Julia Roberts, The Normal Heart

Traci’s Pick: Allison Tolman, Fargo

Allison won the Critics’ Choice Award earlier this year and has been getting a lot of buzz, so I’m voting for her. But Ellen Burstyn always wins…

Molly’s Pick: Allison Tolman, Fargo

Friendly neighborhood reminder that Flowers In The Attic was really, really bad.

WINNER: Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Coven 

T: No but really, are these “fun facts” about the winner just about where they were born? Is it supposed to be funny?

M Fun fact: Kathy Bates lost a significant sum of money when her husband came home drunk as a pig celebrating and lit a fire on their money. (She’ll always be Molly Brown to me.)

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Colin Hanks, Fargo

Jim Parsons, The Normal Heart

Joe Mantello, The Normal Heart

Alfred Molina, The Normal Heart

Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart

Martin Freeman, Sherlock: His Last Vow

Traci’s Pick: Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart

I guess someone from The Normal Heart will walk away with this. Hopefully it will go to Matt Bomer because he was phenomenal and made me cry like a bebe.

Molly’s Pick: Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart

That was a tough call. I hope the votes don’t get split up among the nominees from The Normal Heart.

WINNER: Martin Freeman, Sherlock: His Last Vow

 T: WHOOOAAAAAA That is a total upset for The Normal Heart. Also, this makes be believe the TV Academy has turned into the Oscars Academy – aka all old white men.

M: Waittt….. so you mean old white men are in charge of something? This changes the whole game…

T: I know, it’s a different group of folks than usual, you know, like the super diverse government with women and minorities.

M: Well, I for one think it’s time we give those crusty old coots a chance.

Doesn’t anyone realize that Normal Heart was really, really good? I mean usually they just assume things on HBO are really, really good without necessarily even watching them.

T: AMYY Honestly always excited when she appears on my television screen.

M: Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson planned their outfits together harder than me, in fifth grade, before a dressdown day. Because why wear street clothes if you can’t wear matching courduroy overalls with your best friend. Or muted jewel tone suits, as the case may be. 

T: I think the sequel to True Detective should be a buddy cop comedy version of the first season with these two fools.

M: Literally every one of our TV ideas has been better than most of what we’re seeing tonight.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Chiwetel Ejiofor, Dancing On The Edge

Martin Freeman, Fargo

Billy Bob Thornton, Fargo

Idris Elba, Luther

Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart

Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock: His Last Vow 

Traci’s Pick: Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart

Probably Mark Ruffalo’s best performance ever.

Molly’s Pick: Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart

Although if Idris Elba wins we all get to watch him for a minute or two – so in that case, everyone wins.

Winner: Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock: His Last Vow

M: I’ll admit it. I’m probably going to lose any internet cred I ever had. But I’m not in any of the appropriate fandoms to know why Benedict Cumberbatch is so magical. Like I take everyone’s word for it.

T: Yup. agreed. We’re gonna get trolllllssss! Can’t wait.

M: Oh, man. This is going to be worse than that time I wrote about the top scrubs of the tv movie about TLC.

T: IMPORTANT: I FEEL CHEATED OUT OF SEEING IDRIS ELBA IN A TUX.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Coven

Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Coven

Helena Bonham Carter, Burton And Taylor

Minnie Driver, Return To Zero

Kristen Wiig, The Spoils Of Babylon

Cicely Tyson, The Trip To Bountiful

Traci’s Pick: Helena Bonham Carter, Burton And Taylor

Honestly, I just want Wiig to win this, but did anyone see The Spoils of Babylon? Especially the Emmy voters?

Molly’s Pick: Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Coven

Or maybe Jessica Lange? Let’s just take a moment to appreciate how great all of these nominees are. I mean in general. Not in these projects, because I haven’t seen them (except AHS).

WINNER: Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Coven 

M: Weird Al is making up lyrics to instrumental tv theme songs, and isn’t this something everyone does already? No, just me? I’m also learning that it’s one of those things that’s only entertaining when you’re doing it in front of your tv waiting for a show to start. Not as an awards show segment.

But nice S/O to Claire Danes’ ugly crying!

T: What in the actual fuck is this medley? Remember how much better this was last year with the choreography category? It also feels super out of place. There has been no singing and dancing a la NPH or Jimmy Fallon, so this is coming out of nowhere and doesn’t fall within the tone of Seth’s comedy…

Outstanding Miniseries

American Horror Story: Coven

Bonnie & Clyde

Fargo

Luther

Treme

The White Queen 

Traci’s Pick: Fargo

I’m basing this on the fact this show got a lot of nominations.

Molly’s Pick: Fargo

Yeah, I think critics were really into it. Bonnie & Clyde was OK I guess.

WINNER: Fargo

M: I know I probably should have watched this, but the last time I watched some Minnesota-talking people hang out where it’s cold was Sarah Palin’s Alaska and that was quite enough for me, thanks.

Outstanding Television Movie

Killing Kennedy

Muhammad Ali’s Greatest Fight

The Normal Heart

Sherlock: His Last Vow

The Trip To Bountiful

 Traci’s Pick: The Normal Heart

Because if you haven’t seen this movie yet, you are missing out on an important piece of American history.

Molly’s Pick: The Normal Heart

Honestly, if The Normal Heart doesn’t win…

WINNER: The Normal Heart

M: Nice work, Old White Guys. Maybe you fellas are going to make it after all. 

Speaking of white guys, Ricky Gervais is here to give us the giggles after we all (read: I) cried a bit for a while there. He reads the speech he would have given, calling out “Joey from Friends” and “Louis from Louie, spelled slightly differently.”

Sarah Silverman wins for writing of a variety special and opens with “wow, this didn’t occur to me!” Me either, Sarah. And I think she’s hilarious, I just didn’t think she’d win. She seems pretty energetic so I think she maybe didn’t hit her vape pen yet, but then she calls us molecules hurtling through the universe or something. But she does it SO MUCH QUICKER than Matthew McConaughey would have.

T: Guys. Sarah Silverman is high right now. Like legit. Like she showed Giuliana Rancic her “liquid pot” vape on the red carpet. Which, I didn’t even know was a thing.

M: Yeah, that’s why all those vaporizer stores keep cropping up. It’s not for the weird flavored tobacco.

T: Guys did you know that Jordan Peele and Chelsea Perretti from Brooklyn Nine-Nine are dating? Just found out the other week.

M: CUTE! And hilarious, probably. I did not know that.

T: Chris Hardwick s/o to internet trolls.

 

M: Is it the center part? Is that why I can’t recognize Gwen Stefani? Or is it because she doesn’t have her posse of creatively dressed young Asian girls? (Does she still have them? Not sure.)

T: It might be the lit’rally thousands of Swarovski crystals hanging from her Versace gown…

Outstanding Variety Series

The Colbert Report

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Real Time With Bill Maher

Saturday Night Live

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Traci’s Pick: The Colbert Report

I don’t think shows besides Colbert and Jon Stewart are allowed to win this category.

Molly’s Pick: The Colbert Report

Yeah, I agree. But I’d love for Fallon to win.

WINNER: The Colbert Report

Photo Aug 25, 9 07 32 PM

T: JIMOTHY. DIDN’T EVEN SEE HIM COME UP. I appreciate that Jimbo and Amy Pueblo keep popping up even though they both aren’t winning tonight.

M: I was looking at my computer and then I was like “wait, a Colbert guy sounds just like Jimmy Fallon… wait a second!”

T: I cannot with Sofia Vergara. Everything she does is hilarious. No one is listening to this Academy guy.

M: Okay, THANKS. I know a lot of people who think she’s over-the-top or schtick-y but she has straight-up Lucille Ball vibes a lot of the time. I love her.

T: YES. Def Luicille Ball vibes. If anyone hasn’t seen her “Cover Girl commercial” with Ellen, watch that now. Or you know, at a commercial.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series

Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad

Jim Carter, Downton Abbey

Peter Dinklage, Game Of Thrones

Josh Charles, The Good Wife

Mandy Patinkin, Homeland

Jon Voight, Ray Donovan

Traci’s Pick: Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad

AP ❤ I just want to see him cry and talk about how much he loves the BB cast and his gorge wife. If anyone else has a chance, it’s Josh Charles (for dying) and Mandy Patinkin (probs for the beard).

Molly’s Pick: Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad

I don’t watch GoT (yet) but I think Peter Dinklage seems like a real gem, so I wouldn’t mind if he won.

WINNER: Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad

M: Do Aaron Paul and Chris Pratt have a secret pact to spread happiness, joy, and belief in true love across the nation? Because it’s working.

T: If they do, it’s the best secret society to ever exist. I’m gonna throw up because I’m excited for you too, Aaron. And to reiterate for the 10 millionth time, the love AP has for his wife is utterly disgusting and amazing and I’m just super jealous.

M: Here is his wife’s foundation that he mentioned. What a couple of dolls.

M: I can’t be sure there’s anyone even left in Hollywood after watching that In Memorium. Man, we lost some good ones this year.

T: Oh boy here we go. Honestly shed more tears during Ryan Murphy’s The Normal Heart speech. Does this make me a horrible person? The Robin Williams, tribute however…

M: Right before it started I was about to write “fortunately, I must have missed the Robin Williams part of the In Memorium so I’m still doing okay.” Damn it.

 T: Guys Cary …F… True Detective director. Ok quick story: after I finished watching True Detective, I looked this guy up and was SO SURPRISED to see how HOT he is (and that he briefly dated Michelle Williams of Dawson’s Creek). But he’s currently sporting some sort of long braid which is… not hot. Speaking of Michelle Williams, the “fun fact” for Cary was that he was a PA on the set of the Destiny’s Child Survivor video. I really can’t tell if these are supposed to be jokey or not.

M: Fun fact: that’s how I do my goddaughter’s hair if it’s a day she’s going to be out playing a lot.

T: I’m sure Cary will be doing a lot of playing/partying tonight.

M: Well then I hope he used the fun glitter hairspray, too. Really keeps things in place on the playground in STYLE. (Hair aside: he’s a looker).

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series

Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad

Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey

Lena Headey, Game Of Thrones

Christine Baranski, The Good Wife

Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

 Traci’s Pick: Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad

Like OITNB’s winning streak as a new Emmy show, BB’s final season will (hopefully) pick up statues for all involved.

Molly’s Pick: Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad

Process of elimination pick

Winner: Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad

T: Uh… did Katherine Heigl win an Emmy for Greys?

M: Not sure. Maybe for Roswell? Also I could have sworn she was introduced by the voice of Amy Poehler but I may be losing it like that one Full House episode when D.J. sees Steve everywhere when they go to Disney.

T: Just confirmed – she won Supporting Actress in a Drama Series in 2007. Ugh. I mean she was good, but really? Okay. 

Outstanding Writing For A Drama Series

Vince Gilligan, Breaking Bad

Moira Walley-Beckett, Breaking Bad

David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, Game Of Thrones

Beau Willimon, House Of Cards

Nic Pizzolatto, True Detective 

Traci’s Pick: Moira Walley-Beckett, Breaking Bad

Moira Walley-Beckett wrote Ozymandias, the third to last episode with the showdown in the desert, and probably one of the best hours of television I have ever seen in my life. The ep Vince Gilligan is up for is the series finale, which is also good, but I watched Ozymandias like 3 times, which is saying something, because normal people don’t do this.

Molly’s Pick: Beau Willimon, House Of Cards

I DON’T KNOW OKAY. I hovered my cursor between this, Moira Walley-Beckett & Game Of Thrones for like a full minute.

WINNER: Moira Walley-Beckett 

M: Like, IS that Amy Poehler’s voice, or…? Moira Walley-Beckett does not pull off the phrase “mad skills, yo” very well. She does pull off that dress and writing compelling television, so hey, everyone can’t do everything. 

T: How are we running so late already? Let the woman speak! I blame Weird Al. 

M: I WAS JUST ABOUT TO BLAME WEIRD AL. 

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series

Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey

Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Claire Danes, Homeland

Robin Wright, House Of Cards

Lizzy Caplan, Masters of Sex

Kerry Washington, Scandal 

Traci’s Pick: Robin Wright, House Of Cards

I’m over Claire Danes winning. I really, really want Kerry to win, but compared to the other ladies’ shows, Scandal seems like a soap opera. But whatever, Kerry deserves it. So in saying that, it’s going to Robin Wright.

Molly’s Pick: Kerry Washington, Scandal

Who do I think will win? Probably not Kerry Washington. Just so we’re clear, my picks are a hodgepodge of people I want to win and people I predict are most likely to win.

WINNER: Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Photo Aug 25, 9 10 40 PM

T: Bless you Kerry Washington for having the best ‘I didn’t win but I’m so happy for Nurse Hathaway’ face.

M: Everyone’s into this contouring makeup now with the bronzer to show us where your cheeks are or whatever, but in 20 years we’re all going to look back on the 2010s as the time when everyone’s face looked kind of dirty. This goes out to, honestly, most of those lovely, talented actresses in that category.

Mindy knows what I’m talking about.

T: Update: apparently after Aaron Paul gave a shout out to his wife’s nonprofit, the website legitimately crashed. Perfect human. (KindCampaign.com)

M: I know! I went to it to try to link to it when I was posting and kept getting an error message. Great job, buddy! Ugh they really are the perfect couple.

T: Kevin Spacey brought a cane with him tonight. Just FYI.

 M: His bow tie looks like Samantha Parkington’s hairbow. I wonder if the cane is more of a fashion thing or a function thing. 

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series

Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad

Kevin Spacey, House Of Cards

Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom

Woody Harrelson, True Detective

Matthew McConaughey, True Detective

 Traci’s Pick: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad

I keep changing my choice for this, so I would be fine if either Bryan or the McConaissance win. If Emmy voters are feeling sentimental this year, it’ll go to Bryan Cranston. If they want to see headlines of Matthew saying ‘Alright Alright Alright’ and saying it’s his year for winning an Oscar AND Emmy within months, it’ll go to him. Or Jeff Daniels could win and ruin everything. This is probably the category to watch for the entire night.

Molly’s Pick: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad

I have McConaughey fatigue.

WINNER: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad 

T: Legit clapping very loudly for BryCran right now (I am by myself. At work.).

I think it’s funny that Jay Leno is supposed to be like this big ‘surprise’ guest. No one cares. Bye Felicia.

Outstanding Comedy Series

The Big Bang Theory

Louie

Modern Family

Orange Is The New Black

Silicon Valley

Veep

Traci’s Pick: Orange Is The New Black

Again, I need a show to break Modern Family’s winning streak.

Molly’s Pick: Orange Is The New Black

I really hope OITNB or Veep wins. Or Louie. I’m so bored of Modern Family winning. And you all know how I feel about The Big Bang Theory.

WINNER: Modern Family

posting this pic, because, kerry.

T: UGH MODERN FAMILY GTFO (I will say that Las Vegas episode was one of the best ever, though).

M: Guys, you don’t have to act surprised. Let’s not Taylor Swift it, here.This cutoff music, though. It makes me want to use that Miss Manners-y expression, “poor planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part.” If I won one of the biggest awards I wouldn’t cut my speech short because they let Weird Al make shit up for 7 minutes.

Outstanding Drama Series

Breaking Bad

Downton Abbey

Game Of Thrones

House Of Cards

Mad Men

True Detective

Traci’s Pick: Breaking Bad

A well deserved one last hurrah for Walter White and co., please.

Molly’s Pick: Breaking Bad

Downton and Mad Men weren’t at Emmy winner caliber this year, TBH.

WINNER: Breaking Bad

T: YO BITCH THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE JUST STOOD UP FOR A TV SHOW. When does that ever happen? I can tell you when it didn’t happen – when Modern Family won.

M: Yes, but when you have laurels like Modern Family, you rest on them.

So, overall: I was happy with some of the wins, but I have to say that a lot of winners – and frankly, nominees – prove that the Emmy voters are not watching the same tv (or in the same way) as the rest of us.

Can’t win ‘em all, I suppose. Thanks everyone for joining us and tune in tomorrow for our Best/Word Dressed picks and the rest of the week for our TV-themed posts!!

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5 Things You Missed At The VMAs

Missed the VMAs yesterday? Don’t worry, because I got you covered. And it’s probably for the best because there was a good amount of people on the red carpet that I had absolutely NO IDEA who they were. I am old.

Also, before I go into the top moments from the show, can I just share something that’s annoyed me since I started watching this awards show back in the day? WHY is it called the VMAs – as in Video Music Awards? Shouldn’t it be MVAs – Music Video Awards?? Someone from MTV get back to me on that.

Anyways, the storied “VMAs” headed back to NYC and for the first time were held in Brooklyn at Barclay’s Center – aka the place where Jay Z’s basketball team plays. To me, MTV goes hand in hand with New York, probably because of the TRL days, so it’s great that the show was back in the Big Apple.

People are probably going to be talking about things that happened during the show, so here’s a breakdown of the things that went down on Sunday so you can talk to your 20-year-old co-worker/intern about what happened…

5) Amen! Hallelujah! Praise Yeezus

^click for video^

Kanye is on hand (without North or Kimmy K) to sing Blood on the Leaves. He starts off with a red light on his face as he raps into a mic, and then pans out to show just his shadow against this background, and it’s actually really great. Just him performing without all the extra shit. If anyone saw him on Kris Jenner’s show on Friday, he talked about how he went to art school, had three scholarships, and considers himself an artist above anything else. This performance just proved it.

4) Taylor Swift is still an asshat (see here)

So the very first award of the night is for Best Pop Video. Presenting is One Direction, and among the nominees is Selena Gomez. If you haven’t put it together yet, Selena is BFF with Taylor (hence them sitting next to each other) and Taylor used to “date” Harry in 1D (the most famous one with the brown shaggy hair). As 1D was talking, the cameras went to Taylor and Selena, and Taylor said this:

You first.

Selena incidentally won the award, and politely kissed Harry on the cheek.

Later, Taylor won the award for Best Female Video, and said this during her speech:

When winning Best Female Video, Taylor says, “I want to thank the person who inspired this song – who knows exactly who he is – because now I got one of these.”… CUT TO HARRY STYLES LOOKING AWKWARD.

TAYLOR YOU ARE 23 YEARS OLD. GET IT TOGETHER. Even Selena’s over your complaining – look at her face. You always make it look like you’re the victim, but here you are standing in front of the world practically bullying your ex-boyfriend. Just a simple ‘thank you’ would have been sufficient. The girl really needs to learn the art of letting go…

3) Lady Gaga out Gagas Gaga

Gaga opens the show and the very first sight you see of the MTV VMAs is this:

And then this:

 Okay Stefani, you look creepy even for Lady Gaga standards. You look like an extra on a kids’ daytime show like the Teletubbies or something. But if you’re not disturbing by that sort of thing, watch the whole performance.

Oddness aside, I appreciated the fact she kicked off her performance by singing without overproduced beats in the background and just showcasing her voice. But then she broke out into Applause. Through a series of quick on stage costume changes she kind of goes through her discography from Poker Face to Telephone and finally to Artpop. Also all her dancers look like Mike Myers’ Sprockets sketch from SNL.

PS: Another reason to love Gaga despite her odditties – when One Direction won for Song of the Summer, apparently people were booing, and she was not okay with it. She even told the boys themselves.

2) Miley Cyrus twerks with Robin Thicke

click on image for the performance that will damage your brain

First off Vanessa Bayer shows up with her Miley Cyrus impression and it’s the best thing to happen so far (you know, like 20 mintues in). If you wanted more Miley twerking besides that one video of her in a onesie, here it is. Miley’s been toting around this huge stuff bear Boo (like the one in the video), and now the entire stage is filled with bears. Miley breaks out into We Can’t Stop in her furry swimsuit and her mohawk pulled into tiny buns like Gwen Stefani during the Tragic Kingdom days.

Incidentally, this was at the VMAs in 1998

And then she sheds the furry thing off to reveal a bathing nude bikini akin to the girls in the Blurred Lines video, and she begins to twerk on Robin Thicke while they duet on his song. I am uncomfortable, mainly because Hannah Montana should be wearing more clothes and not humping a married man that maybe could be her dad. If Liam hasn’t broken up with her yet, he should now.

But really, the audience reactions were the best. And they were more or less the same.

if your eyes haven’t burned out yet…

Drake bobbin his head, but not being able to actually look at her out of longterm damage

Second hand embarrassment from 1D and high as a kite Rihanna barely understanding what’s happening and if Miley is stealing her moves

Jaden’s face is usually like that, but entirely appropriate for this occasion…

1) Justin Timberlake proves he’s meant to be a solo artist aka *NSYNC reunites

look into JT’s eyes & click the pic for video!

First off, my boy Jimmy Fallon is (fittingly) giving this award to JT. We start off in the lobby and it looks like a love lip dub – and ironically similar to the opening number Jimmy did at the Emmys a few years ago. Basically I just want a posse of dancers to follow me everywhere I go. He then goes into an epic medley of his greatest hits and it is amazing. I had the chance to go to the Legends of Summer tour at Fenway Park in Boston a couple weeks ago, and it was seriously the best concert I’ve ever been to. I think sometimes we forget that JT has so many hits until he sings them in succession and you end up knowing every single word to all his songs. That’s a legend right there. At the VMAs, he spent a minute or two cover a bunch of his hits, making each one seem like its own mini concert.

And then came *NSYNC. Too bad they couldn’t keep that a secret, because it would have been awesome to be surprised when these four other guys joined him on stage. But I get it – they wanted to make sure they got the *NSYNC fans to watch – slash any viewers they could get. Speaking as a Backstreet Boys fan, I even felt like they could’ve been up there longer. But as my friend Meghan (a *NSYNC fan) said, ‘Pretend you hadn’t seen BSB for 10 years. That 90 seconds was well worth it.’ So I suppose the 90 seconds was better than nothing. But at least they came out singing songs I actually liked (Gone, Girlfriend). Chris proved that he should’ve been training for this reunion since the day they broke up because boy needed to keep up with the rest of the group (also, apparently Chris’ trap door failed…). And what was with JC sneaking in a riff at the end? But since JT wasn’t done, the four others went back on their platforms, and slowly descended back down into the pit of being in Justin Timberlake’s shadow.

JT continues his 20 minute medley and the cameras keep showing Taylor Swift singing and dancing in the audience. Okay, so at the Grammys and the CMAs (or country like awards show) they kept doing the same thing and showed TSwift awkwardly dancing. THIS IS A FORMAL PETITION TO START BANNING HER FROM DANCING AT ALL AWARDS SHOWS. NAY, THIS IS A PETITION TO STOP ALL PRODUCERS OF AWARDS SHOWS FROM SHOWING HER IN THE AUDIENCE EVER. I WANT TO SEE AS MUCH JT AS POSSIBLE. GOOD DAY SIR.

Finally it comes to an end and Jim Jam comes back on the stage hyped as ever and legit going to lose his voice from pumping up JT so much. Worth it. Bros ❤ JT is as humble as ever, even thanks his boys of *NSYNC for being the reason why he was up there in the first place. “I don’t deserve this ward but i’m not gonna give it back” Fair.

Honorable Mentions

 – Macklemore and Ryan Lewis promote equality with Mary Lambert and Jennifer Hudson. Those harmonies between the ladies tho.

Katy Perry roars under the Brooklyn Bridge. NGL, I love that song. I felt like I could wrestle a lion after that.

– A collective ‘Who da fuck is that??’ from all the millennials who were tuning in to see the *NSYNC reunion.