Coachella? #Nochella!

The Coachella music festival, the annual gathering of the hippies and wannabe hippies, ends this weekend after another successful year among music fans who enjoy moshing in the desert. In my years living in Los Angeles, I’ve come to know these two weekends in April as a mass exodus out to Indio, with a bombardment of over-filtered photos at the fest on Instagram, and I’m sure you’ve come across that too.

I’ve never been the type to find interest in weekend-long outdoor music festivals, so while I get the appeal, I don’t get the appeal, but that’s perfectly fine with me. I’d much rather stay at the comfort of my own home and get updates on what happens there from afar. And apparently this is a trend that’s caught on. I introduce you to: #NoChella.

I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s possible to have fun without being at Coachella! Just ask all the folks who have opted to create their own fun in the comfort of their own homes. Even celebrities are getting into the #NoChella fun with ragers that include hanging out with friends and drinking and listening to music because that is essentially what people are paying hundreds of dollars for at the actual Coachella.

But for those who have even the slightest twinge of Coachella FOMO, here are just some ways you can celebrate #NoChella without the hassle of actually going to Coachella.

Desert Life

Gather as many of your friends as you can, have them dress like contemporary hippies who are toeing the line of offending Native Americans and cram into a sauna.

Live Music

Attend a concert at your local small venue! Or, if you really need to see Chicano Batman, Lucent Dossier Experience, and Night Terrors of 1927 perform a set (real bands, btw), it’s streaming on YouTube all day.

Celebrity Sightings

Make a list on Twitter with celebrities including but not limited to: Katy Perry, Aaron Paul, Sarah Hyland, Paris Hilton, the Jenners, Gossip Girl alums, Vanessa Hudgens (she won’t be there, but she’ll tweet about it anyways) and follow all their posts. It’ll be like seeing them IRL.

Fashion Judging

Follow the Coachella Style or Coachella Fashion tags on Tumblr or lit’rally any fashion website because they will have all the outfits on fleek or not on fleek.

Drinking and Drugs in Excess

While Coachella isn’t exactly the unlucky festival like Electric Daisy or Ultra in Miami where unfortunate drug and alcohol and overcrowding events have occurred, it still has its fair share of that going on. No one wants to be part of that, so drink responsibly.


This could be us…

but you playin. Us/me instead:

General Hygeine

For those who go all in and do Coachella camping style, they will have to rely on port-a-potties and portable showers (as seen above) for the weekend. Basically, if you want to try this at home, don’t shower and possibly pee out in the woods somewhere.