Playlist of the Month: Singer Says What Now?!

A bit of a contrahversay went down recently when a Buzzfeed article pointed out that “everyone’s been mishearing one lyric on the iconic Jennifer Lopez/Ja Rule hit I’m Real song wrong for years. YEARS. Apparently a handful of folks thought JLo was saying, “Are you Ellie?” in the beginning, when in reality, she was saying, “R.U.L.E.”, because, you know, Ja Rule. I personally was offended by this post because duh, logically it makes no sense she would be asking Ja if he’s some rando named ‘Ellie’. And if she’s not asking Ja, who is she asking? Spelling out names in songs is cool and hip, which is why THOSE ARE THE REAL LYRICS.

But I get it. we all make mistakes. We all mishear lyrics from time to time, even if you realize just how dumb you sounded when you were singing the wrong ones. Here are a few we’ve mistakenly been “Ellie-ing” for years.

Listen to the entire playlist on Spotify!

Molly’s Picks

Roll To Me by Del Amitri

Let’s forget that the song is titled Roll To Me. I thought the lyrics were “the right time and the wrong me” from third grade through, oh, age 27 or so, when I tried to look up the song for a little nostalgia boost and couldn’t find it with the words I was using. But think about it: the video is the heads of the band members on babies. It’s the right time but the WRONG ME because he is still a BABY. Plus “right time, wrong me” makes sense whereas “roll to me” isn’t an expression … is what I thought for about 20 years.

Trap Queen by Fetty Wap

For over a year, I was completely positive that Fetty Wap was in the kitchen cooking prawns with his baby. Part of it is how he says “pies,” part of it is that everyone knows that you don’t cook a pie, you bake it. By the way, I learned this one via the change.org petition to have Fetty Wap perform this at Nancy Reagan’s funeral.

I Melt With You by Modern English

I learned I had the words wrong in the most embarrassing and most common way you can learn you have the words wrong: singing along with the song at one of my trashy house parties in college. One of my friends stopped, looked and me, and said “that’s cute, you’re changing the lyrics to be about me and you.” Nope. Just an idiot who thought that Modern English was saying “I’ll stop the world and marry you.” Evidently diction isn’t part of the Modern English curriculum.

Here Comes The Hotstepper by Ini Kamoze

You’re going to need to understand that leprechauns were having a moment in the early to mid 90s. The movie Leprechaun really elevated the tiny Irish guys to a menacing figure worthy of horror films and rap lyrics. That’s why I thought Ini Kamoze was professing to be the “leprechaun gangster” for over a decade. “We don’t die, yes we multiply” even sounded like the concept of a leprechaun-based B-movie.

The Shoop Shoop Song by Betty Everett

It’s not just that, throughout my childhood, I thought she was saying “if you want to know if he loves you so, it’s in his kids.” It’s also that I created an elaborate scenario where it was a song about a woman falling for a single dad. I watched a lot of Full House, yes.

Traci’s Picks

Paper Planes by M.I.A.

The chorus is lit’rally half sound effects, yet somehow I always thought the lyrics were: “All I wanna do is *Bang Bang Bang Bang*/And *Click* *Ka-Ching*/’Mathangi’ on my neck”. You know, Mathangi as in M.I.A.’s real name. Duh. Apparently I was over thinking it because the real words are: “All I wanna do is *Bang Bang Bang Bang*/ And *Click* *Ka-Ching*/And take your money”. Ok fine, that makes more sense.

Billie Jean by Michael Jackson

Anyone else think the words were, “But the jet is not my son”? I mean, obviously it doesn’t even make any sense, but I guess I didn’t matter to me because the song was so rad? But when I found out the real lyrics were actually “But the kid is not my son”, it totally changed the entire song meaning for me.

Lean On by Major Lazer Featuring DJ Snake & MØ

So I guess my main takeaway from this post is that I’m not reall good with lyrics involving guns? Because I thought the chorus went:  “Focus, fire a gun/We need someone to lean on”, when in reality it’s, “Blow a kiss, fire a gun/We need someone to lean on”. Whatever, she’s Danish.

You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette

In my defense, I’d bet there are a lot of people who also have no idea what Alanis is singing on this album. Right?

I want you to know, That I’ve had beef with you/I wish nothing but the best for you both

I know the virgin in me/Is she perverted like me?

Would she go down on you in a theater?

Does she speak Eloguquani (some type of Native American language?)/And would she have your baby?

I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother

… So, um… let’s take a look at the real lyrics:

I want you to know, that I am happy for you/I wish nothing but the best for you both

An older version of me/Is she perverted like me?

Would she go down on you in a theater?

Does she speak eloquently/And would she have your baby?

I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother

At least I think my version is a better look on Dave Coulier?

Work by Rihanna

Just, like, all the chorus. I’m not the only one in the dark here, right? I looked it up on Genius and apparently the reason why we think it’s garbled speak is because she’s singing in Jamaican patois. “Haffi” = have to, “ah guh” = is going to, and “Meh nuh cyar” = I don’t care. The music video makes much more sense now. Here are the real lyrics:

Work, work, work, work, work, work/He said me haffi
Work, work, work, work, work, work!/He see me do mi
Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt!/So me put in
Work, work, work, work, work, work/When you ah guh
Learn, learn, learn, learn, learn/Meh nuh cyar if him
Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurting

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Playlist of the Month: Songs That Need To Not Be Popular

If you listen to the radio at all, you’re familiar with a bunch of pop songs that are played way too much. And by too much, I mean played at all. For every good pop/guilty pleasure song, there’s another tune that doesn’t deserve to be put on repeat in cars or boom boxes across the country.

Here are a few of our picks for songs that should not be played as much as they are – so we’re just going to tell you about them so you can listen to them even more.

{Listen to all the tracks on Spotify!}

Traci’s Picks

We Are Never Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift

I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I strongly dislike Taylor Swift. So is it any surprise that she would be on my list? As I’ve stated previously, she does make catchy tunes (see: the time I listened to Trouble while singing outloud and shaking my head in shame). However while many point to her outstanding lyrical skills, I don’t think you can qualify this track for ‘Song of the Year’ at the Grammys. For any TSwift superfans that may be reading this in outrage, I’ll point out that this song earned her a ‘Record of the Year’ nom – which is the award for overall production of the track. ‘Song of the Year’ is reserved for the best song in both overall quality and LYRICS. Anyways, I just can’t get behind a track that has the phrase “We are never ever ever ever getting back together… Like, ever.”

Bubble Butt by Major Lazer

Call me crazy, but I am usually not a fan of songs that repeat the same two words over and over again for about 90% of the time, and not to mention, the song is about big booties on women.

In related news, this is the most disturbing video I’ve ever seen. I honestly can’t tell you why I watched all of it, either.

Stupid Hoe by Nicki Minaj

Nicki. I defended you when Super Bass came out, because that song was my JAM. However, this is not. The first two notes irk me so much and then she goes for that long ass “note” about 30 seconds in and I want to stab myself in the eye with some BARBed wire. GET IT???

Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey

Here’s the problem, Lana Del Rey: you are WAY too depressing for me. Every time I listen to one of your songs I feel like I need to take a Prozac after it. The words Summertime and Sadness shouldn’t even be in the same sentence.  AND there’s also a remix dance version that’s being played on the radio and it’s still not peppy enough for me to dance around in the club to it. Not that I even dance in clubs anymore.

Gentleman by Psy

The thing about Psy is… he should have been a one hit wonder. I get why Gangnam Style swept the world. He was a brand new artist from Korea – which besides the cult of K-POP, has not been mainstream in America. You have to hand it to the guy. Create a viral video with a song that only people who speak Korean can understand, and create a stupid dance, and you become a worldwide sensation.

But how did he manage to get a second song so popular? The video has over 500 million views and has broke some kind of YouTube record. Society, you have no one to blame but yourselves. Also, I suggest you watch the video with the sound off, and then ask yourself the question: WHY IS THIS FOOL POPULAR??

Molly’s picks

22 by Taylor Swift

Congratulations, Taylor. You’re 22. That’s great for you, but can you stop being so showy about it?  The only thing you’ve done to earn your relative youth is not dying for 22 years. Time passes all too quickly, and in a blink of an eye you’ll be 27, wondering how it could possibly be fun to dress up like hipsters and make fun of your exes when you can dress up in business casual and internet-stalk your ex’s The Knot profile, instead. From there, it’s just one foot in front of the other until the grave. So, enjoy 22, Tay!

What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction

My main issue with this is the logical fallacy. Not knowing she’s beautiful is what makes this girl beautiful, so then the One Directions go and TELL her which I think makes her ugly by the end. Also, I’m pretty sure that if you’re beautiful, you know it. Because people will tell you – like, for instance, One Direction. If you have been waiting forever for a pop tune about a girl with body dysmorphic disorder who eventually gets made ugly by a flock of little British boys, you probably like this song.

Redneck Crazy by Tyler Farr

This summer there was a lot of outrage about Blurred Lines, and I was like “guys, can we please get mad about Redneck Crazy instead, because it’s way worse and also I think Robin Thicke is really appealing?” This song is narrated by a man who was cheated on, so he drives his car to her front lawn, drinks on the hood of his car, shines his headlights through her windows, throws beer cans at her shadows, and is the kind of man “that shows up at your house at 3am.” The last part is the worst. I hate when people use “that” instead of “who.”

Crazy Kids – Ke$ha

All of Ke$ha’s songs sound the same, and she always looks like she slept in garbage then threw glitter at herself. I don’t feel bad for saying that because I think it’s on purpose. Also, I hate that she styles her name with a dollar sign in the middle because typing shift+4 really slows down my typing. This one’s awful because of that part where she whispers “we are the crazy people” and sounds like a pop star from a bad dream — only we’re all far too awake.

Radioactive – Imagine Dragons

There’s nothing exactly wrong with this, I’m just sick of it. It sounds like it was recorded to play in one of those dark indoor roller coasters. The band name “Imagine Dragons” sounds like the fake band of three 8-year-old boys who are really into Lego.