Goodbye, Sochi: Olympics GIF Wrap Up

Well folks, the 2014 Olympics have come and gone incredibly fast, just like Shaun White’s hopes of making history and winning another medal (too soon?). We’ve seen the highest of highs, the lowest of lows. The underdog stories and the stories of world champs falling from grace.

So how could we possibly sum up everything that’s happened in two weeks? With GIFs of course! Here are some of the best moments from the Sochi Winter Olympics in animated form. Hopefully this will tide all of us over until the Summer Games in Rio in 2016…

Remember the opening ceremony? I bet whoever was in charge of these olympic rings will never forget this for the rest of his/her life.

Poor Bob Costas. The man who helms the Olympics for NBC was down with pinkeye. Well, make that pinkeyes because it spread from one to the other and he had to sit out on like three nights of primetime coverage. But he eventually got better, and we got this gif out of it.

I was watching this live, when a man climbed a tree to meet U.S. Men’s Alpine head coach Sash Rearick, who was hanging out in some branches Katniss style to get a better view of the course. And an NBC correspondent had to get a interview, because, ratings.

There were 14 new programs introduced this year, including this one, slopestyle snowboarding. This is American Jamie Anderson who won us a gold medal and taught us about Tinder in Olympic village (but hardcore Olympic fans already know that the village is a hookup hotspot)

And one of the first viral gifs out of this year’s Olympics is courtesy of U.S. luger Kate Hansen. She was spotted rockin out with her headphones in right before she sped down the icy ramp.

When asked who she was listening to, clearly, it was none other than Queen Beyonce.

Another American who went viral – figure skater Ashley Wagner. Clearly disappointed with her low score, she forgot that cameras were on her and also forgot that the internet thrives on reactions like this.

This is probs my favorite. This is a real pic from American bobsledder Johnny Quinn, who got locked in his Sochi hotel bathroom. To escape, he used his bobsled (and NFL training) to break through the door like the Kool-Aid man. The best part – he got stuck in an elevator a few days later.

And then there was Russia’s Yulia Lipnitskaya. A 15 year old who stunned everyone in the free skate during the team competition, helping them earn a gold medal, and made her the youngest Russian winter olympics gold medal winner. But really, that spin tho.

The biathlon/any cross country skiing seemed to be the absolute worst sport this year. People were literally collapsing at the finish line. Hilarious but, you know, not.

The weather in Sochi was a big problem this year. One day it would be foggy and cold, the next 60 degrees. Literally warmer than on the east coast and its polar vortex. This didn’t help the snow conditions, and athletes were having problems with the icy/hard/slush terrain. But the Russians did their best to keep up appearances.

The halfpipe wasn’t kind to Shaun White either. He was hoping for his third gold medal in a row, but to no avail. wah wah.

This is Gus Kenworthy, silver medal winner in slopestyle skiing. But who cares about the medal. He made friends with the stray puppies who the Russians were allegedly killing off, but Gus did this and wanted to take them back home to the U.S. with him. I mean can you even.

Not to mention when Gus won his medal, he was part of a U.S. podium sweep with Joss Christensen (gold) and Nick Goepper (bronze).

This is American slopestyle snowboarder Sage Kotsenberg. He is doing a trick called the ‘Holy Crail’, which is obviously very difficult, but has a stupid name. He also credited ‘mad snacks’ and Fight Club for helping him focus before winning the gold. Clearly there’s no doubt he’s a snowboarder.

The Dutch have always dominated speed skating, but more so this year. 23 speedskating medals. 8 gold. They’ve won at least one medal in every single speedskating category. Basically it was a lot of orange on the podium in the speed skating center.

There was a rare tie for gold in women’s downhill skiiing, between Slovenia’s Tina Maze and Switzerland’s Dominique Gisin. But more importantly, Tina Maze is a pop star, model and all around A-lister back home in Slovenia.

And then there was the couples’ ice skating. Russians Tatiana Volosozhar and Maxim Trankov brought the house down when they won gold. And also cast Angela Kinsey as Tatiana in her (eventual) made for TV movie.

I just included this U.S. skating pair of Marissa Castelli and Simon Shnapir (who obviously didn’t medal) because Simon and I apparently went to the same college. Go Lions!

This Swedish skiier, Henrik Harlaut, actually has dreads and XXXXL pants, and it’s really not surprising that he fell. Because COME ON.

Skeleton is probably the most badass sport, and Canada’s Sarah Reid has the best helmet to go down the ice giant ice slide.

Oh Evgeni Plushenko. The star men’s skater for Russia for… forever. He’s one of the country’s most beloved athletes, and won the gold in 2006. And even though he skating perfectly for the team competition and helped Russia earn the gold, by the time it got to his solo comp, his recurring back problem flared up and he decided to quit.

See- his back? He’s had surgery before, okay? We needed to see it to believe it. Anyways, he not only withdrew from the Olympics, but he announced it would be his last competition ever and officially retired.

Ah Jeremy Abbott. He fell, hit the boards, and stayed on the ice for a good 15 seconds. BUT THEN he got his ass back up and finished the routine. That’s the Olympic spirit, folks.

Meet rising star, American ice skater Jason Brown. Also the gayest of gays since Johnny Weir, and it’s a welcome addition. Also, this quote during the his program from one of the commentators: “He doesn’t have a quad turn, but he does have a ponytail that has its own Twitter account.”

And… this is Spain’s Javier Fernandez. Do with it what you will.

Women’s snowboardcross was an awesome competition to watch, as it was anyone’s game. In this GIF, the woman ahead is American Lindsey Jacobellis, who is a silver medalist from ’06, and favored to win again in Sochi after a failed attempt in Vancouver. Except she was so ahead in this race when one little slip up made her fall and her dreams to get another medal were dashed yet again.

If you’re wondering how Cool Runnings 2014 did (2-man bobsled of Winston Watts and Marvin Dixon), the Jamaicans literally placed last. Not a good trip for these guys.

But at least they got this catchy tune out of it.

Bode Gate: 2K14. Alpine Skiier Bode Miller, another veteran of the games, won a bronze medal in what is probably his last Olympics. Post his winning race, he spoke with a NBC correspondent about what the moment ment to him – especially since he dedicated it to his younger brother who died months before. He broke down and the reporter got a lot of heat for it, but Bode defended her. All’s good, he has his bronze medal, and NBC got its ratings scandal.

Belarus’s Anton Kushnir won the gold with this, and I’m just impressed anyone can physically fly that high and land and not die.

Guys, my new obsession is ice dancing. IDK why I never really paid attention to it before, maybe it was the whole Canada/USA rivalry this year, but it is fantastic. Speaking as a fan of dancing/former dancer, this is right up my alley. I introduce you to the ‘Shib Sibs’ aka Maia and Alex Shibutani, siblings who ice dance together, particularly to a Michael Jackson in this gif.

I think I’m starting to be obsessed with Canadians Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir. Like almost shipping them. Ugh, but they’re just so damn good. LOOK AT THESE TWIZZLES!

AND THE LIFTS!

And the Canadian flag that turned out to be a poncho! Virtue and Moir weren’t able to get their second gold medal in a row and were bumped to silver, But hey, they have each other.

Of course, the folks who won were American darlings/Disney characters Meryl Davis and Charlie White.

And then Mary Carillo’s documentary about Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan’s ’94 debacle aired before the closing ceremony on Sunday, and Tonya Harding looks just as guilty as she did 20 years ago. Like I said on Twitter, “2014 Tonya Harding is like the mini-van mom in suburban detroit who got caught shoplifting at her local k-mart.”

Remember that fog and bad weather I was talking about before? Yeah, this was it. Right before this Olympian was about to ski down a mountain.

IDK if the fog effected Austria’s Kathrin Zettel, but either way, she ran into a pole and the flag covered her face. Then it moved down to her waist and was on her person for like 5 more slaloms. Oops.

So you know what’s even more impressive than being an Olympic athlete? Being an Olympic athlete in both the summer and the winter games. Remember Lolo Jones from track and field/hurdles? Yeah, she’s become a bobsledder. But didn’t win a medal here either.

Curling, guys. Curling. Still don’t get it, but good to know suburban high school history teachers can get in on the action.

NBC, always explaining sports to the viewers in layman’s terms, which I appreciate. Basically gold medalist Ted Ligety has super impressive almost unhuman-like angles when he skis down a mountain, and that’s why he deserves all the awards.

I have no idea what’s going on here, but this is amazing.

Andreas Nodl of Austria slammed Norway’s Jonas Holos into the boards and legit shattered a pane of glass. This is why I can’t with hockey.

Can you say sob fest?? This heart on the half pipe was in honor of women’s freestyle skiier Canadian Sarah Burke, who died in 2012 due to injuries sustained during practice. She was considered a pioneer in the sport and helped bring freestyle skiing to the winter olympics. Her ashes were spread on the halfpipe in Sochi. {x}

Talk about a photo finish – the men’s ski-cross QUARTERFINALS (aka not even the big medal run) included a huge crash at the end between Russia’s Egor Korotkov, Sweden’s Victor Norberg and Finland’s Jouni Pellinen. As you can see, there is one clear frontrunner, Switzerland’s Armin Niederer, but second place (the only other person advancing to the next round) was a three way tie. The Russian eked out from the other two – because he flailed his arm across the finish line first.

And the so-called ‘crown-jewel- of the winter olympics, women’s figure skating came to a head. That 15-year-old Russian spin girl did the impossible – she fell. Oops. No medal for her.

Ashley Wagner, still not pleased with her results, but at least she’s more aware of her surroundings this time.

And the final standings: she came in sixth. “Not bad!”

Gracie Gold, America’s hope for, well, gold, didn’t exactly live up to her namesake. Fourth would have to do.

‘Queen’ Yuna Kim, the reigning champ from Korea, as beautiful as she skated, she just couldn’t hold on to her title. But really, she is so good, it’s upsetting.

And I think Katy Perry said it best, but 17-year-old Russian skater Adelina Sotnikova came in like a Dark Horse. Pre-Yulia dominating during the team competition, Adelina was an expected frontrunner. But Yulia took the spotlight and all the pressure that goes with winning a medal for your country IN the host country, and Adelina was like don’t forget about me bitches. This girl took home the gold and Yulia is busy listening to One Direction and already focused on South Korea 2018.

Can we talk about these two? Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir served as figure skating correspondents (obvs), but their outfits and clear BFF-ness needs to be put on a reality show or something. Or he can just have her on his show all the time.

This is the worst GIF, but after my boy and the ‘next-Apolo Anton Ohno’ failed to win anything on his own, he finally got a silver medal in the relay with the other boys in short track. Gold in 2018, my friend.

Closing Ceremony: In which Russia proved they actually have a sense of humor. Well fucking played.

So here’s the thing. This bear was one of the Olympic mascots – but in America, we didn’t know that because they never introduced them on NBC. So when this dude showed up at the closing ceremony, I bet a lot of people were confused and concerned they had taken drugs at some point during the night. Anyways, he’s been nicknamed “Nightmare Bear” because he’s so GD scary and looks stoned all the time. But here, he’s just expressing what a lot of us Olympics devotees are feeling right now – withdrawal that the games are actually over.

And there you have it folks. 17 days of elite competition in Sochi are now over. Until Rio in 2016, Vlad Poots thank you for your attention and time. As the Russians say, “Spasibo!”

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The Worst: Olympics Fashion Through the Years

THE OLYMPICS START TOMORROW! THE OLYMPICS START TOMORROW!!!

Here’s a little known fact I don’t think Molly nor I have ever touched upon in this blog: we love the Olympics. Like straight up obsessed. In fact, the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics (read: Apolo Anton Ohno) was one of the bonding experiences we had in high school. Needless to say, we’re excited about the start of the Sochi Olympics on Friday.

So to prep you for the next couple of weeks, here’s a guide on what you will probably notice first whilst watching the Opening Ceremony on Friday: the official outfits.

For example: This is what you have to look forward to from Norway in the coming weeks:

Say hello to the Norwegian curling team. No, this is not a joke. Yes, those are their real uniforms.

Don’t believe me?

This is what the team wore when they won their silver medal in Vancouver in 2010. Like, they went up on the podium like that as they were handed the world’s second best prize in men’s curling.

But this is just the beginning.

Unfortunately, the Norwegians aren’t the only ones who are forced to wear hideous attire as they represent their homelands. And while it may hurt our eyes while we watch the athletes parade around the Olympics, it’s totally worth it to see what kind of getups the folks are wearing these days.

Like this outfit volunteers in Sochi have to wear:

I know Russia can be a little behind the times and all, but this looks straight up from a 1992 TGIF sitcom

And America, doing it big with Ralph Lauren:

So before we get our first glimpse of what ‘hot Olympic fashion trends’ are like during the Opening Ceremony tomorrow, here’s a look back at some of the absolute worst throughout the years.

USA {Rome 1960}

1960: The year we were really into barbershop quartets. Specifically the hats.

 

Canada {Sapporo 1972}

Listen up, Canada. We get that you like to tout the fact that -30 degree weather is like your summer, but put some damn pants on.

 

USA {Sarajevo 1984}

Nothing says America like dressing up the athletes in cowboy outfits that looks like Ennis Del Mar in Brokeback Mountain. They wore almost the exact same thing four years earlier in Lake Placid. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO QUIT YOU, SHEEPSKIN JACKETS.

 

Australia {Barcelona 1992}

Yup, that’s 1992 alright.

 

Canada {Barcelona 1992}

Come on Canada, you’re better than this. Bonus for the fanny packs though. ’92’s opening ceremony looks totally rad.

 

Canada {Lillehammer 1994}

Well, apparently Canada is NOT better than this. I think the designer thought they were making uniforms for athletes in communist Russia.

 

Japan {Sydney 2000}

Do Japanese people have pride parades? If so, that’s probably where they got these outfits.

 

Japan {Athens 2004}

I mean, could you BE anymore Asian.

 

France {Beijing 2008}

Uh, can you can be more Asian. What’s up with the sumo belts, Frenchies?

 

Poland {Beijing 2008}

Fun Fact: All of Poland’s athletes from this Olympics were rhythmic gymnasts.
Another Fun Fact: The preceding fact is false.

 

Hungary {Beijing 2008}

To me, these outfits scream, ‘DON’T FORGET US. WE’RE A REAL COUNTRY TOO’. Shhhhh Hungary. Shhhhhhh.

 

Czech Republic {Vancouver 2010}

If you stare at the pants long enough it turns into a Magic Eye illusion

 

Ukraine {London 2012}

Ukrainians: We’re two wild and crazyy guyyssss

 

Great Britain {London 2012}

The Brits secretly stole these from ABBA’s costume museum in Sweden.

 

Czech Republic {London 2012}

What I’ve learned from this is that the Czechs basically need a new designer. Who thinks, ‘You know what would make these better? BLUE PATENT LEATHER BOOTS!’