2018 Winter Olympics Drinking/ Exercise Game

There’s nothing like the Winter Olympics to remind you that you are not, in fact, an elite athlete. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun… or work on your fitness. If you’re having a raucous Olympics party, A) invite us and B) feel free to play the drinking game version (responsibly, and without driving, and you can use water). If you’re feeling a little less-than fit watching all of these grade A humans, dip into our exercise game instead!

One Sip OR One Set of Mountain Climbers (* A set is what you say is a set!)

You wouldn’t know what the event was called if they didn’t tell you, but it could be described as going down a mountain.

You wouldn’t know what the event was called if they didn’t tell you, but it could be described as doing tricks on snow.

You wouldn’t know what the event was called if they didn’t tell you, but it could be described as doing tricks on ice.

NBC kindly lets us know about The Grinch, a movie coming out in a year, or Mamma Mia, a movie coming out in some months.

You find yourself trying to do what the athlete just did in your living room (turns out I can only land a single lutz in my socks)

You spy an athlete’s parent or significant other.

You cry.

 

One Huge Gulp OR One Set Of Bicep Curls

An Olympian is tenuously connected to your hometown (e.g., grandparents live there, went to college for a few semesters, etc).

Rachel Platten and/or Fight Song.

Image result for rachel platten olympics

You see the Korean Handmaid Cheerleaders.

Image result for korean cheerleaders

An Olympian has a personal mascot (e.g., Hanyu with Pooh),

Image result for hanyu olympics pooh

An athlete collapses to the earth after finishing.

Johnny Weir’s outfit is extra even for him.

You see the Olympic mascotImage result for pyeongchang mascot

You ship it.

Image result for virtue moir olympics 2018

Take a Shot OR One Set Of Bicycle Crunches

An Olympian is from your hometown, for real.

A Russian is of such a higher caliber than the other athletes that it feels like they’re doing a different sport.

Image result for medvedeva

A competitor has what you, personally, consider a baby name. So all those toddlers named Mikaela grew up over the past twenty years?

Image result for mikaela shiffrin

Yep. Definitely a grownup.

The announcer is so fired up that they’re shouting like their house just exploded.

There’s innuendo about the Olympic Village.

You see the Korean Handmaid Cheerleaders’ minder.

You’re watching at a time that you consider totally bonkers.

 

Pour A Little Out For Your Favorite Team/Athlete Who Was Robbed OR Sun Salute

An Olympian is over age 30.

An Olympian who’s roughly your peer is now the commentator.

Image result for tara lipinski johnny weir olympics

Leslie Jones sighting

A commentator says the exact opposite of whatever you just said about the event.

The human interest footage includes clips of the athlete doing their sport as an adorable little tot.

Image result for adam rippon childhood

A competitor has a sibling who is also competing in the games.

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The human interest footage tries to make the athlete seem like just a normal person (like an average teen, family man, grad student, etc).

An Olympian is not actually from the country they represent.

Scandinavian Olympians and coaches are knitting.

Chug OR Two Sets Of Burpees

An Olympian is over age 40

The commentators repeat whatever you just said

An Olympian has a sibling who is also competing in the games… for a different country.

Image result for sisters hockey olympics

An Olympian is not actually from the country they represent AND their connection to the country is something you, personally, consider pretty weak (e.g, it’s where their husband is from).

There’s a team from a counter-intuitive country (e.g., Jamaican bobsled)

There’s a competitor who clearly isn’t qualified to be there (this “Hungarian” “skiier”)

 

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The Margaret Abbott Awards For Baffling Treatment of Female Olympians

There’s been a lot of talk surrounding the sexism that’s been happening at the Olympics over the past week, with men being “responsible” for female athletes’ victories and descriptors such as “wife of famous football player”, etc. So with this in mind, we decided to take a look back at the history of females at the Olympics, and we have learned a lot, y’all.

First of all, despite the fact the first Olympics kicked off in Athens in 1896, women were not included in the competition. Obviously. It wasn’t until 1900 when the second Games were held in Paris and 22 of the 997 athletes were females. They eased into the competition by only participating in “ladylike” sports such as golf, tennis and yachting.

Among the athletes was golfer Margaret Abbott, who was the first American woman to win an Olympic event (she even beat out her novelist mother Mary Abbott, who placed seventh). But we can’t even call her a “gold medalist”, because the 19000 Games were the only Olympics at which winner received valuable artifacts instead of the gold, silver or bronze. Instead, Margaret went home with a porcelain bowl.  On the plus side, there was some gold in it…?

But the gag here friends is that Margaret didn’t even realize she was competing in the Olympics. She lit’rally died not knowing she was a “gold medalist”, let alone the first female to win such an honor. Since it was just the second Olympics ever, the Games were more or less what we call a “shit show”. First of all, they took place over a five-month period between May and October during the 1900 World’s Fair in Paris. The French sports union decided they were in charge because the Games were taking place at the World’s Fair. The International Olympic Committee, which was fairly new at the time, was all, ‘I guess they’re right, we should give them control’. Because of this, most of the Olympic Games didn’t even have the word “Olympics” attached to it, with the press using terms such as “International Championships” or “Grand Prix of the Paris Exposition”.

So it makes sense Margaret thought it was just another competition like any other. She died in 1955, and it wasn’t until after her passing that historical research established the event and her win as an official Olympics victory. Can you imagine?? Mags is a historical figure in the world of sports and she probably just used that porcelain bowl to serve her husband a fresh summer salad!

While women’s sports has clearly come a long way since 1900 (thankfully that long skirt uniform has been done away with), we’ve still got some ways to go with equality, and that’s unfortunately been prominent in Rio over the past few days.

In recognition of Margaret and her lack of knowledge as an Olympian, we’ve decided to introduce The Abbies in honor of her achievements that went unrecognized – by giving it to the folks who have made some questionable sexist comments throughout the Games so far. Just like the 1900 Games, we’re handing out bowls, but these are based on level of baffling commentary from critics who should just take a seat. With these bowls at their side.

Gold Bowl = Ultimate dirtbag in dirtbaggery contest

Silver Bowl = Sucks the big one

Bronze Bowl = Still not OK, but willing to let slide


Dan ‘He’s Responsible’ Hicks

Longtime NBC commentator Dan Hicks hit headlines after the 400m individual medley in swimming, when Hungarian swimmer Katinka Hosszu won the gold but also shattered the previous world record. During the program, he noted that Katinka’s husband and coach, Shane Tusup is “the man responsible” for making his wife the swimming champion she is today. Viewers were quick to take note of Dan’s wording, because, homegirl just killed it in the pool, yet this dry dude on the sidelines is “responsible” for the gold medal? OK. Dan Hicks later clarified his comments, saying, “It is impossible to tell Katinka’s story accurately without giving appropriate credit to Shane, and that’s what I was trying to do.”

There’s also more of a backstory with this couple, because apparently Shane’s poolside enthusiasm can turn scary, with other swimmers noting his extreme anger, calling it “inappropriate” and “not OK”. But again, Dan Hicks has an interesting view on his hard love, “It’s been a little disturbing to some of the other swimmers who have observed it,” he said on-air, according to the AP. “But he has turned her into a tiger in the pool.”

Dan Hicks is awarded… The GOLDEN ABBIE

Perfect for: The blood, sweat, and tears of Katinka, Shane Tusup in mini-form to stay afloat for all eternity

The Journalist Who Wrote This Headline

“Corey Cogdell, wife of Bears lineman Mitch Unrein, wins bronze in Rio”, is what Tim Bannon wrote as the headline to his article on Monday. Listen, as someone who writes news for a living, I have to play devil’s advocate here. This is a story for the Chicago Tribute, where the Chicago Bears are the kings and a point of reference that everyone reading will get. If his headline read, “Corey Cogdell wins bronze in Rio” everyone would be like, ‘WHO?’ ‘WHY DO WE CARE?’ then move on to the next article. Their angle is that Bears fans would be interested in someone close to the Bears organization is a medallist in the Olympics. That being said, I also understand why there has been such an uproar about this. She’s obviously much more than a football player’s wife and is her own person. It’s akin to when we say things like, “Calvin Harris’ ex-girlfriend, Taylor Swift” as opposed to “Multiple Grammy-winning artist Taylor Swift”. It subconsciously tells the reader that the person the article really is about is a secondary character in the narrative, which is clearly not the case. It’s just a necessary evil to write things like this sometimes.

Chicago Tribune Writer is awarded… The BRONZE ABBIE

Perfect for: A selection of better words

It’s About To Be A What? A Girl Fight

(Sidenote: do y’all remember that Girlfight song? No? Ok, moving on) Majlinda Kelmendi of Kosovo became the country’s first ever Olympic medallist after winning the gold in judo, which according to a BBC commentator is not a sport, but rather a “catfight”. Or at least that’s what he described the match as. A “CATFIGHT”.

BBC Commentator is awarded… The GOLD ABBIE

Perfect for: The remains of the BBC commentator if he ever had to be in a real “Catfight” with gold medallist Majlinda.

“Female Michael Phelps”

Katie Ledecky, 19 years old,  won four gold medals and a silver in the 2016 Olympics. She set a world record for the 400-meter freestyle … then she broke it herself. She finished the 800-meter freestyle so quickly that she had 11 seconds to cool her heels before the silver medalist even reached the wall. All of this is enough for the Daily Mail to name Ledecky the “female Michael Phelps.” For its part, NBC commentator Rowdy Gaines remarked that “some people say she swims like a man” before telling us why that’s false. Few things here:

A.) “Some people say” is a tired vehicle for introducing opinions a journalist or commentator doesn’t want to own (see also: “some people say women aren’t funny” in any interview with a female comedian).

B.) “Some people” need to stop saying a woman does something “like a man” when she does it well. Clearly Katie Ledecky swims like a woman since she, you know, is one.

These Male Rita Skeeters are awarded… The SILVER ABBIE

Perfect for: Serving alphabet soup so they can figuratively eat their words.

NBC Doesn’t Think Female Sports Fans Exist

Annoyed by NBC’s tape delay and bizarrely packaged primetime coverage? Blame women. According to NBC chief marketing officer and slant-smiled bag of dirt John Miller, we wanted it this way so the Olympic events would remind us less of sports and more of the Bachelorette: “The people who watch the Olympics are not particularly sports fans. More women watch the games than men, and for the women, they’re less interested in the result and more interested in the journey. It’s sort of like the ultimate reality show and miniseries wrapped into one.”

NBC also broadcasts NFL football (45% female viewership) and NHL hockey (42% female viewership). But since they don’t think women are “particularly sports fans,” perhaps they wouldn’t miss nearly half of their audience if we went elsewhere.

John Miller is awarded … The GOLD ABBIE

Perfect for: Potpourri made of the discarded petals of past rose ceremonies.

Let’s Go To The Mall!

The U.S. Women’s Gymnastics Team – the Final Five – are a group of powerhouse athletes who easily won the team gold medal, the gold and silver all-around individual medals, the vault gold and the beam silver and bronze. In addition to their superhuman strength and tremendous drive, the teammates are kind and supportive of each other, offering hugs and encouraging words because when one of them succeeds, they all succeed. Or, in the words of NBC gymnastics announcer Jim Watson when the team was talking among themselves on the sidelines, “they might as well be standing around at the mall.”

While we always welcome an opportunity to burst into a chorus of Let’s Go To The Mall, we have to point out that these athletes don’t really hit the mall too often what with their focus on world domination. Watson followed up “Don’t boys hang out in malls too? I did.” They do, but something tells me Jim wouldn’t have said the same thing about, for instance, the US men’s basketball team.

Jim Watson is awarded …. the SILVER ABBIE

Perfect for: Serving Orange Julius, one of the premier mall foods.

 

 

Trolls Go Low

During the Olympics it’s fine to express your opinions on the games and the athletes on social media — within the bounds of decency. If you’re complaining about or even complimenting someone in a way you wouldn’t face-to-face, don’t @ them and theoretically force them to respond. And if the range of things you WOULD say to someone’s face includes racist or sexist insults, don’t @ them then either… in fact, don’t write it at all. During the games, some viewers have decided that Gabby Douglas was disrespectful to the flag or unsupportive of her team. That, alone, isn’t really the problem. It’s the onslaught of truly vile Twitter trolling that has followed.

Considering the trolling has included the complaints that Douglas doesn’t smile enough, needs to change her hair or has had breast implants, it’s safe to say that the online harassment has taken a gendered edge.

The Internet is awarded … the Silver Abbie

Perfect for: A nice helping of Alphabits cereal, any random 140 characters from which you could create better tweets.

Fox News Had To Say Something Too

It wouldn’t be a celebration of journalistic disappointments if Fox News didn’t crash the party. Fox, a network that doesn’t broadcast the Olympic games, got in on the action with a segment about whether or not female athletes should wear makeup. Sure! Or don’t! Who cares!

On their website, Fox News frames the question as why female athletes “feel the need” to wear makeup, as though they might not just want to. Or not. Again, who cares.

Weighing in on the issue: Bo Dietl and Mark Simone, two men.

Fox News is awarded…. the GOLD ABBIE

Perfect for: stashing some nice cold cream to take all that makeup off. I prefer good old Pond’s.


We’d love to call this our first and last Margaret Abbott Awards For Baffling Treatment Of Female Olympians, but let’s be real. This picture of Margaret Abbott was taken over 100 years ago, and seems to depict her standing around waiting for a man to get with it.

Friends, I think she’s still waiting. Chances are, we’ll be back at it awarding another round of Abbies for the 2018 Winter Olympic games. And possibly for regular sports before that. Change is coming, but if ol’ Maggie Abbott has taught us anything, it’s that sometimes you have to wait 50 years to find out what that porcelain bowl was for.

Pop Culture Phenomena Of The 1996 Olympics: Where Are They Now

Once an Olympic year has ended, most of the athletes move off of my radar. Within the next four years some of my favorites always retire. Others morph, within the span of 3 or 4 Olympic cycles, from teenage wunderkinds to competitors in their prime to the aging stalwarts of their field. I’m almost 30, so this year I am watching my dewy-faced peers from 2004 become respected veterans contemplating retirement.

Nothing highlights this passage of time more than the 1996 Olympic games. We have images burned into our memories of tiny teenage gymnasts accepting their gold medals, and it’s hard to fathom that they are now married mothers on the cusp of middle age. Tennis scamp Andre Agassi is 46. Michael Johnson works for Arsenal – imagine that.

I think we’re all a little stunned that the last summer Olympics to be hosted in the U.S. happened a full twenty years ago. Because of that, Where Are They Now features for the top athletes of the Atlanta games have abounded. I still had some unanswered questions, though: remember Whatizit? Where’d they put the cauldron? And does Bela Karolyi still think I can do it? Let’s investigate:

Whatizit

Izzy, officially known as Whatizit, was the baffling, bug-eyed mascot of the ’96 games. I’m not sure why the Olympic Mascot can never just be, like, a regular cartoon kitten or an animated tiger, but for whatever reason they always go for amorphous CGI blobs – a tradition that started with Izzy. Prior to the Atlanta Games, mascots always were cute or at least identifiable, but the new millennium was on the horizon and we were really proud every time we managed to computer-generate something.

In the 20 years since the Atlanta Olympics, Izzy’s legacy has endured. The 2004 mascot: an abstract take on an ancient Greek doll; looks like a BBC cartoon from the late 80s that PBS would air before Mr. Rogers. 2008: I don’t even get it, they each correspond to a word of Welcome To Beijing but ALSO to five elements but ALSO they bear a wish but ALSO they represent the color of the Olympic rings. Obviously had quite a committee there. 2012: just terrible; standing blobs more or less. Look what Izzy started.

After the games, Izzy appeared in a 1997 special, Izzy’s Quest for Olympic Gold, which aired on TNT one time. There was a computer game (on CD Rom, naturally) and a video game (Super Nintendo, as was the fashion).

As of 2016, Whatizit can be found on eBay for relatively uninflated prices, since nobody really liked him (her?) in the first place.

The Cauldron

In 1996, Muhammad Ali lit the cauldron and ushered in the modern Olympic Games on their 100th anniversary.

Cut to 20 years later, and former Atlanta mayor Andrew Young is calling the cauldron an “embarrassment” and comparing it to “the bridge over the river Kwai.”

Basically, a bunch of architects were put into a team to design the cauldron. The result was kind of funny looking, further illustrating why group work is the actual worst. GROUP WORK. Ugh.

The Cauldron is now perched on the edge of Turner Field at the top of some kind of a steel staircase that looks like the steps to a water slide.

 

The Macarena

The Macarena fad celebrates its 20th birthday this year, but in 1996 it was the cool dance craze sweeping the nation. Delegates at the Democratic National Convention bounced along, every kid in America knew the steps, and – in what I will call the high point of its existence – the Magnificent 7 performed the dance at the gymnastics arena. Somehow, Dominique Moceanu even manages to move her hands like she’s doing that weird vogue stuff they always do in the corner during a floor exercise. Shannon Miller rounds it off with a sassy flip. Kerri Strug avoids putting weight on her ankle, still in a brace after her injury. Dominique Dawes, objectively speaking, is the best at it.

Macarena quickly met the fate of all cool dance crazes: old people learned how to do it, it became terminally dorky, and it is now standard fare at weddings.

Bela Karolyi

We’re not discussing athletes here, but coaches are fair play. Besides, in the public sphere Karolyi was not just a coach, he was a pop culture phenomenon. Remember how the phrase “you can do it” took off as a catch phrase after Bela encouraged poor, injured Kerri to finish her event?

As could be expected, in the years that follows allegations of Karolyi’s harsh – even abusive – coaching style began to surface. He became the team coordinator of USA Gymnastics, publicly reviled for his intensive camps while still somewhat respected for his professional success. Karolyi’s wife Marta became the U.S. team coordinator in 2001, a position she still holds. Bela has served as a gymnastics commentator occasionally and continues to own the infamous Ranch. A NBC Sports documentary about the Karolyis is forthcoming.

The Olympic Village

I don’t have the talent, drive, or correct height to become any kind of Olympic athlete, but I would give anything to experience the international camaraderie of the Olympic Village. It always seems like such a downer to see photographs of the village months and years after the games – abandoned, crumbling into ruin, a waste of planning, budget and infrastructure.

But not in Atlanta! The city built athletic facilities with the future in mind, then retrofit them for the games. As a result, almost all of the sites are in use today (except for the tennis courts, which don’t look great.)

My favorite reuse has to be the Olympic Village dormitories, which are now Georgia Tech housing. I can think of no better afterlife for Olympic dorms – I’m just trying not to think about how most of the people using them now weren’t even alive for the ’96 games.

 

All The Best Uniforms At The Rio Opening Ceremonies

It’s almost time for the Rio Opening Ceremonies, and you know what that means – costumes.

Okay, more specifically the Parade of Nations, where the athletes from the participating countries process into the arena wearing some kind of weird modern take on their national dress, like muscly Madame Alexander dolls or a sexy It’s A Small World ride.

I love it.

While a number of countries have released photos of their team uniforms – especially when there’s a high profile sponsor involved – it’s too soon to tell which looks will make the Parade of Nations. Still,here are a few to keep your eye out for:

Great Britain in Stella McCartney/ Adidas

Who’s making redcoats redder? Stella McCartney, I guess. I’m just so thrilled we can finally bring back Britain’s colonial-era nickname. The Adidas uniforms forego the typical Union Jack in favor of a coat of arms combining the thistle, rose, leek and flax, as well as a lion, the national animal of England even though England doesn’t have lions. The fabric is lightweight and there are fun leggings. The female athlete third from the right is not impressed.

I still can’t believe they make Wales be a leek. Pee-ew.

Canada in Hudson’s Bay and D-Squared

 

There are a lot of stereotypes about Canada and one of them is that Canada doesn’t really have cities. That’s why it’s so fun to see Canada go a little urban with their outfits. It’s a real mix-and-match collection combining smart jackets, jaunty track suits and even graphic tees. If I have one complaint it’s that the pants look weirdly saggy at the knee – but just look at what they’re wearing for the Opening Ceremonies:

South Korea

If I were an Olympic athlete, I would proudly compete in a prison jumpsuit or footie pajamas if it was Zika proof. Lucky for South Korea, their uniforms are fairly cute AND Zika-repellant. I like the uniforms to the right, like they’re activity leaders at a nice country club. The slim fit cropped pants are cute.

Here’s where I was going to complain about socks with boat shoes, but ZIKA. Gotta cover those ankles. Good job.

Sweden in H&M

There’s so much to love. First of all, that Sweden is wearing H&M. Second, that a relatively small(-ish) Scandinavian country can be one of the world’s biggest exporters of cool fashion and musicians. Third, these fabrics are sustainably produced and recycled. I love that there’s a fun athletic dress and the leggings and socks are just too good.

Spain

They look great – almost like street clothes but a bit more polished, with sassy scarves and tie clips. The woven belts are excellent too, and the contrasting accents on the blazers and the buttons.

I do wonder why, in a world where red and blue seem to be the most popular national colors, a country that actually has a different color scheme going for it opts for red and blue.

Italy in EA7 by Emporio Armani

Unlike Spain, I can’t even quibble that these aren’t the national colors (except for the bits of red and green on the collar) because the black and white just feels so Italian. The giant 7s are the most conspicuous branding I’ve seen so far on the team uniforms, but it also can kind of just read as some stripes maybe?

Brazil 

Say what you will about Brazil’s preparedness or suitability to host the 2016 games: there is a special place in my heart for a country that will deck men out in florals. Granted, I was even more excited when I thought that the ascot was the lining of his blazer instead.

France in Lacoste

Remember when you wouldn’t see a fashionable, city-dwelling European caught dead in athletic wear in public? The recent trend for sleek, well-designed athleisure clothing has turned that around a bit, and France’s simple and tidy look shows how well it can be done.

USA in Ralph Lauren

Not my favorites, but not horrible; these get points for the sheer American-ness of red-white-and-blue stripes and pushed up sleeves on Oxford shirts.

Australia

The word Slytherin has been thrown around a few times for these uniforms, as has “ice cream lady.” But me? I just hope they make it back to Malibu Sands in time to help Stacey Carosi’s dad out at the big volleyball tournament.

 

Most teams haven’t released photos of their uniforms yet, so tune into the Opening Ceremonies tonight to find out who the REAL best-dressed are.

 

The Worst: Olympics Fashion Through the Years

THE OLYMPICS START TOMORROW! THE OLYMPICS START TOMORROW!!!

Here’s a little known fact I don’t think Molly nor I have ever touched upon in this blog: we love the Olympics. Like straight up obsessed. In fact, the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics (read: Apolo Anton Ohno) was one of the bonding experiences we had in high school. Needless to say, we’re excited about the start of the Sochi Olympics on Friday.

So to prep you for the next couple of weeks, here’s a guide on what you will probably notice first whilst watching the Opening Ceremony on Friday: the official outfits.

For example: This is what you have to look forward to from Norway in the coming weeks:

Say hello to the Norwegian curling team. No, this is not a joke. Yes, those are their real uniforms.

Don’t believe me?

This is what the team wore when they won their silver medal in Vancouver in 2010. Like, they went up on the podium like that as they were handed the world’s second best prize in men’s curling.

But this is just the beginning.

Unfortunately, the Norwegians aren’t the only ones who are forced to wear hideous attire as they represent their homelands. And while it may hurt our eyes while we watch the athletes parade around the Olympics, it’s totally worth it to see what kind of getups the folks are wearing these days.

Like this outfit volunteers in Sochi have to wear:

I know Russia can be a little behind the times and all, but this looks straight up from a 1992 TGIF sitcom

And America, doing it big with Ralph Lauren:

So before we get our first glimpse of what ‘hot Olympic fashion trends’ are like during the Opening Ceremony tomorrow, here’s a look back at some of the absolute worst throughout the years.

USA {Rome 1960}

1960: The year we were really into barbershop quartets. Specifically the hats.

 

Canada {Sapporo 1972}

Listen up, Canada. We get that you like to tout the fact that -30 degree weather is like your summer, but put some damn pants on.

 

USA {Sarajevo 1984}

Nothing says America like dressing up the athletes in cowboy outfits that looks like Ennis Del Mar in Brokeback Mountain. They wore almost the exact same thing four years earlier in Lake Placid. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO QUIT YOU, SHEEPSKIN JACKETS.

 

Australia {Barcelona 1992}

Yup, that’s 1992 alright.

 

Canada {Barcelona 1992}

Come on Canada, you’re better than this. Bonus for the fanny packs though. ’92’s opening ceremony looks totally rad.

 

Canada {Lillehammer 1994}

Well, apparently Canada is NOT better than this. I think the designer thought they were making uniforms for athletes in communist Russia.

 

Japan {Sydney 2000}

Do Japanese people have pride parades? If so, that’s probably where they got these outfits.

 

Japan {Athens 2004}

I mean, could you BE anymore Asian.

 

France {Beijing 2008}

Uh, can you can be more Asian. What’s up with the sumo belts, Frenchies?

 

Poland {Beijing 2008}

Fun Fact: All of Poland’s athletes from this Olympics were rhythmic gymnasts.
Another Fun Fact: The preceding fact is false.

 

Hungary {Beijing 2008}

To me, these outfits scream, ‘DON’T FORGET US. WE’RE A REAL COUNTRY TOO’. Shhhhh Hungary. Shhhhhhh.

 

Czech Republic {Vancouver 2010}

If you stare at the pants long enough it turns into a Magic Eye illusion

 

Ukraine {London 2012}

Ukrainians: We’re two wild and crazyy guyyssss

 

Great Britain {London 2012}

The Brits secretly stole these from ABBA’s costume museum in Sweden.

 

Czech Republic {London 2012}

What I’ve learned from this is that the Czechs basically need a new designer. Who thinks, ‘You know what would make these better? BLUE PATENT LEATHER BOOTS!’