Academy Awards 2014: Best and Worst Dressed

Happy post-Oscar day! The 2014 Academy Awards were sort of amazing in that almost everyone who we all thought would win actually won. The winners were deserved and everyone looked amazing! So, for those of us who got 4-5 hours of sleep because of this fiasco asking if last night was really worth it, I think it was. Here are our picks for Best and Worst dressed, because we couldn’t each pick Lupita Nyong’o five times for Best Dressed and Liza Minnelli five times for Worst Dressed. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t want to!

Traci’s Picks

Best Dressed

Lupita Nyong’o in Prada

Ever since she showed up lookin FIERCE at the Golden Globes with the red cape situation, all eyes have been on Lupita on the red carpet. Somehow, she never disappoints. This particular dress is Prada, and she said she picked it because it reminded her of Nairobi, her hometown in Kenya. It already has sentimental value to it, so you can’t go wrong. And whoever her stylist is, you deserve your own Oscar, because I almost teared up seeing her on the red carpet for the first time at the Academy Awards. Maybe it’s because I’m overly emotional and cry at anything, but you know how some actresses just have a dress that makes it look like they’re going to win that night? It was JLaw’s Dior cloud dress from last year, Julia Roberts’ black and white Valentino, Halle Berry’s Elie Saab gown in ’02, these are iconic dresses that you remember forever. And we’ll aways remember Lupita, not only for her excellent acting, but her excellent style choices, especially the ones that land her in the record books.

Kate Hudson In Atelier Versace

Speaking of fierce capes – well this isn’t really a cape, it’s more of a fierce shawl. Kate took it off when she presented (right?) but I so prefer this look over sans shawl. She looks so old school Hollywood glam, and what better place to do it at the Oscars?!

Charlize Theron in Dior

Glam bam thank you ma’am. I mean Charlize is already beautiful but this silhouette gown? Beyond.

Naomi Watts in Calvin Klein

Apparently the night’s theme was ‘Frozen’ in multiple ways. Of course Frozen won twice but on the red carpet, white and light colors were in. But Naomi Watts did it best. I love love love everything about this: the gown, the Bulgari jewels, the two-toned clutch. To die. Judging by the close up pix, I feel like it would look even more stunning in person.

Portia de Rossi In Naeem Khan

Whoooaaaa Portia! This screams: my wife is hosting the Oscars and I’m so proud and sexy so haters to the left. I’ve never really considered Portia an expert in style per se, so I guess that makes this look all the more amazing. Again, she’s in the white/off white ‘color’ of the night, and the detail in the dress is EXQUISITE (sorry for the douchebaggery). I had a hard time not staring at the patterns because it’s just ridiculous.

Honorable Mention: Calista Flockhart in Andrew Gn. As the Plus one to hubs Harrison, it was the perfect dress to stand out yet make sure it wasn’t all about her. Just like Naomi, I bet this dress looked stunning up close.

Worst Dressed

Liza Minnelli in Vintage Halston

Oh dear. This picture pretty much sums up Liza’s Oscars night.

Lady Gaga in Atelier Versace Couture

My frustration with Gaga is that I like her. I think she has a great voice, I appreciate she goes balls to the wall with her creativity, even if it’s super weird and slightly scary, but the bottom line is she’s talented and that’s why she deserved all the attention, fame, adoration, etc. However, I also know she’s a pretty girl. She is legit wearing a weave here, and even though this is a very conservative outfit for Gaga, it doesn’t really match her personality or style.

Anne Hathaway in Gucci

No. Last year, no. After party last year, no too. This year’s after party – girl you should’ve worn this gown in 2013 AND 2014.

Elsa Pataky In Elie Saab

Mrs. Chris Hemsworth is pregnant with twins, which explains the protruding belly. But lest us all take a page out of Kerry Washington’s pregnancy style bible and remember that while you should embrace your new curves, you shouldn’t flaunt them to excess.

Pharrell in Lanvin

Imma be real with you. I didn’t think there were a lot of horrible dresses this year. Many were amazing and many were meh. Which is why Pharrell is on here. I get that he’s a superstar musician and can do whatever da fuq he wants, but these shorts are more Grammys style. Honestly, I’d rather have you wear the hat all night, because that’s your thing.

Molly’s Picks

Best Dressed

Lupita Nyong’o in Prada

Everyone looked so wonderful last night that there’s no need for repeats on our Best Dressed lists – but I HAD to talk about Lupita Nyong’o. Lupita actually helped design this dress, inspired by champagne bubbles and Nairobi. So, whatever it is you’re best at in life, I’m pretty sure Lupita Nyong’o could do it better and more beautifully than you. It must have been a lot of pressure being expected to be the best dressed of the night, but this was better than I could have even imagined. As a fellow bony-chested lady, I cannot tell you how delighted I was by that plunging neckline – a real victory for us gals with scrawny sternums. As we said in the live blog, Lupita is an Audrey Hepburn in a Hollywood full of Tori Spellings.

Cate Blanchett in Georgio Armani

The real trend this year was nude-colored dresses with beading and like … fluffy things. There’s a lot of texture going on in 2014, and Cate Blanchett wore the trend perfectly. As her effortless acceptance speech showed, Blanchett is an old pro at this. She picked a fantastic silhouette, went with her standby designer, and managed to look both perfectly modern and perfectly classic.

Jennifer Lawrence in Christian Dior

There wasn’t a lot of color on the red carpet last night, and this orange number was a delight. I don’t care what mean internet people say, I think that short hair really suits J.Law. My only complaint is that this dress looked a LITTLE less beautiful when falling than her other dress did.

Amy Adams in Gucci

There was a split reaction on this dress, with some people thinking it was sort of a yawn. But I’m of the mind that elegance is refusal — see also Bullock, Sandra. I especially loved the pops of color in Amy’s earrings and bracelet.

Matthew McConaughey in Dolce & Gabbana

Men’s fashion is just not as exciting as women’s fashion, and there’s only so much you can do — any attempt you make to step outside the box will leave you wearing a rumpled colored tux or stupid shorts. This is an example of Creative Black Tie done well, in my opinion. The well-fitted white jacket over the crisp formal vest, shirt and tie wouldn’t look out of place at a 1920s dinner party or 1940s jazz club. Well done, Pastor Matt of the Church Of McConaughey.

Honorable Mention: Naomi Watts in Calvin Klein Collection. As I said, I’m trying to avoid repeats, but I at least have to mention this. She looks like a beautiful glittering snow queen, for goodness sakes.

Speaking of snow queens, Kristen Bell deserves a mention for the best accessory of the night – a purse with a burrito in it. Bless. Oh, she looked lovely, as well.

Worst Dressed

Jared Leto in Saint Laurent

I’m told I’m supposed to like this, but sorry, I’m not feeling it. The look does fit Leto – forever Jordan Catalano, but also frontman of 30 Seconds To Mars. A more clean-cut look probably wouldn’t suit him. Still, the jacket was a little too cream-colored and the shirt a little too white for my taste, and the red tie and pocket square didn’t work for me either. I gotta hand it to him, though: Leto has gorgeous hair and beautiful eyes and just like… a great general face area.

Christian Bale

Theodore Lawrence, what happened? This is what I mean about creative black tie – it’s like guys have to choose between looking boring yet appropriate, or just kind of … off. I’ve never been a fan of black on black male formalwear, but it’s not just that. The whole thing looks rumply and ill-fitted. The shirt looks stretched and the pants look too big. Get thee to a tailor, Bale.

Liza Minnelli in Halston

As with Lupita, I’m trying not to do repeats here but I’d be an idiot not to address this. Between Liza and Gaga last night, does the gay community even have a true fashion icon left? It’s not Johnny Weir, is it? Oh, gosh. It’s Johnny Weir.

Whoopi Goldberg

This look was stupid when Julia Roberts wore it at the Golden Globes, and it’s still stupid now – but now it’s stupid AND uninspired. The knotted pearl necklace from Costume Warehouse’s flapper outfit isn’t helping.

Penelope Cruz in Giambattista Valli Haute Couture

The good: that soft pink color, the pretty draping. The bad: I think if this dress existed without the back panel draped over her arms, I might love it. Was it just how she was posing? Close but no cigar, here.

Honorable Mentions: Charlize Theron – I loved everything about this except the shoulder strap situation. It doesn’t really belong on my worst dressed, but I just wanted to point out that the top of it looks like someone was dressing a paper doll, but didn’t know they had to fold the tabs over its shoulder.

Also, while not worst by any means, sometimes Kerry Washington’s dress looked like it was a cruddy taupe color, but in still shots you could tell it was a muted lavender/mauve. Blame the lighting, not the dress. Kerry was, of course, stunning even when I thought she was wearing that boring terra cotta color that everyone painted their family room in 2001.

This is neither best nor worst, here nor there, but I just found out that Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski were there and I felt like I had to share this information with everyone. Johnny Weir is dressed as Liberace dressed as a matador dressed as an old-timey oil baron, because of course.

And finally… Kim Novak’s face. Yes, she’s clearly had some plastic surg, but I want everyone who’s ever criticized a celebrity for starting to look old to take a good, hard look at themselves and say “I caused this.”

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