I know someone out there is thinking it – where was my childhood? – but here’s the thing. Somehow, between 1986 and 2004, I aged from 0 to 18 and never saw The Princess Bride. I even did high school theater, where it was decided – by secret ballot, I assume –  that everyone on stage crew would love The Princess Bride. I knew the Inigo Montoya line and all, but believe it or not nobody ever produced the DVD during theater sleepovers (probably because if theater kids’ love for The Princess Bride was eclipsed by one thing in the early 2000s, it was Moulin Rouge). Like almost all of our pop culture blind spots, this wasn’t intentional, but it happened and I’m rectifying it today.

• This is still how I default to imagining video games looking. I’m not saying that as someone who hates video games, I’m saying that as someone who has an OG NES in her living room.
  

  This image links to a site directing Fred’s bedroom so there goes my afternoon.

   

• I know I had seen Fred Savage’s awesome 80s bedroom set before, yet I still thought this took place entirely in … vaguely in the Middle Ages.

• “When I was your age, television was called books.” – Fred Savage’s grandpa. I already love this.

• I feel more uncomfortable during the eye sex between Wesley and Buttercup than I do during actual sex scenes, in the ‘I’m not meant to be watching this’ way.
  

  Some of the more effective eye-acting I’ve seen.

   

• Eye Sex Wesley died already? Even though he looks like a gentle English singer-songwriter?
  

  Cary Elwes, whom I now have a belated crush on. WHERE WAS MY CHILDHOOD?

  

  Johnny Flynn, whose songs I sometimes cry to.

   

• When the guys on stage crew were obsessed with this, it was definitely the Andre the Giant/ Wallace Shawn / Mandy Patinkin sass humor I was thinking about.
• Buttercup was basically gonna be kidnapped by that king or kidnapped by these guys then, huh? Also, I never noticed before how very pretty Robin Wright is.
• I like how the sets with the cliffs and the ocean are super fake looking. I don’t mean that in the sense where people say “I like how” when they mean “I hate how.” It has a storybook quality and also reminds me of movies from the 30s-60s.
  

  Just the right kind of fake.

• Do high school stage crews still love The Princess Bride? Somebody find out. I can’t, as I’m 30.
• Is the Shrek Puss In Boots modeled after this Zoro Guy? They have the exact same vibe:

• If this doesn’t end in the princess winning her own freedom and outsmarting everybody I’ll be pretty disappointed.
• [I really loved The Paper Bag Princess in my youth, ok.]
• But surely it will end with her getting together with the Johnny Flynn-looking guy who isn’t dead after all?

A. DID NOT AT ALL see Zorro being Westley and I don’t even think it was supposed to be a surprise. The joys of watching a movie so old that nobody cares enough to spoil it.

B. DID NOT AT ALL see Westley being a sass-pants – I thought his main thing was being subservient.

C. His mustache and ponytail are bad.

D. The movie isn’t even half over, so I clearly called this one wrong.

• Actually I am liking the ponytail within a few minutes.
  

  But it IS that awkward length when you’re growing out a bob and it doesn’t all fit back easily.

• I wonder how Buttercup feels about Westley now that he tells long stories instead of doing chores for her. (The story about getting the ship from some guy who was also not the Dread Pirate Roberts was funny.)

• Sure, Buttercup is chilled out about her gown getting caught on fire, but the Jim Hensons Workshop-looking giant weasels give her the willies. Honestly, same.
• Fred Savage says that Buttercup doesn’t marry Humperdinck. I agree. He says it wouldn’t be fair because of all that Westley did for her. I resist the urge to rage at baby-Fred-Savage-from-the-past because a human is not a reward.
• (I agree that Humperdinck sucks and Buttercup and Westley are endgame, obviously.)
• Are there gifs of the homeless lady saying Boo, Boo, Boo?

Not only are there gifs and videos, the character is named THE ANCIENT BOOER.

• So Westley may get to marry Buttercup, if he gets the mail fast enough?
• JK he never sent the ships. Buttercup’s gonna throw down. It’s all happening.
• What is Fred Savage sick with? Why is he so sick that his elderly grandpa has to come read stories at him? Honestly a little distressed that Fred Savage has some serious chronic illness that they haven’t addressed.

• I think it’s beautiful that the two people with the speech impediments have each other.
• Ewww they had better get there before they “escort her to the honeymoon suite.” Gross.
• [Obviously the mawiage part is funny but I knew it was coming. See comments above re: high school theater. Carol Kane is a dream. As is the makeup artist, because Kane was only 30-something.]
• I want an interactive art installation that is Fred Savage’s bedroom and you can go in and touch everything. 10/10 best set decoration ever.
• WHAT is this boy sick with. Seriously.
• Wow, I truly didn’t know that Rob Reiner directed it.

Okay, this is the thing we hope for every time we do a Pop Culture Blind Spot: I LIKED this. We don’t do these to make fun of other people’s beloved favorite movies, we do them to catch up on some popular or cult classics that somehow got by us. Now I am wishing we had shelved Moulin Rouge during at least ONE of those sleepovers so I could have seen this sooner.

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