Best of 2016: Hamilton’s Cabinet Battle #1 (As Kanye Rant Tweets)

We all know Kanye West isn’t afraid to hold back from saying what he wants both in life and on the Internet, and it was no different when he went on a rant against Wiz Khalifa – his ex Amber Rose’s ex. Naturally, we combined this Twitter rant with our recurring series Hamilton Explained, where we break down tracks from the hit musical’s soundtrack to give more background and insider info on the lyrics. Oh Kanye, history has its eyes on you, even a year later and years to come.


Hamilton Explained: Cabinet Battle #1 (As Kanye Rant Tweets)

Welcome back to Hamilton Explained! It’s been a minute. When the Hamilton soundtrack was released all of these historical and musical references were jumping out at me and I wanted to start unpacking some of them here. I wasn’t counting on a whole community of people doing this very thing over at Genius. Instead of duplicating the efforts from Genius (check out their annotations if you haven’t!) here’s Cabinet Battle #1, explained through tweets from Kanye West’s epic January 27, 2016 rant against Wiz Khalifa.

Stand with me in the land of the free
And pray to God we never see Hamilton’s candidacy
Look, when Britain taxed our tea, we got frisky

7th I am your OG and I will be respected as such

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

Imagine what gon’ happen when you try to tax our whisky

6th don’t ever come out the side of your neck at me

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

WASHINGTON:
Thank you, Secretary Jefferson. Secretary Hamilton, your response

HAMILTON:
Thomas. That was a real nice declaration

Welcome to the present, we’re running a real nation
Would you like to join us, or stay mellow
Doin’ whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello?

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Hamilton Explained: Cabinet Battle #1 (As Kanye Rant Tweets)

Welcome back to Hamilton Explained! It’s been a minute. When the Hamilton soundtrack was released all of these historical and musical references were jumping out at me and I wanted to start unpacking some of them here. I wasn’t counting on a whole community of people doing this very thing over at Genius. Instead of duplicating the efforts from Genius (check out their annotations if you haven’t!) here’s Cabinet Battle #1, explained through tweets from Kanye West’s epic January 27, 2016 rant against Wiz Khalifa.

WASHINGTON:
Ladies and gentlemen, you coulda been anywhere in the world tonight,
but you’re here with us in New York City.
Are you ready for a cabinet meeting???

The issue on the table: Secretary Hamilton’s plan to assume state debt
and establish a national bank.
Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor, sir

JEFFERSON:
‘Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’
We fought for these ideals; we shouldn’t settle for less
These are wise words, enterprising men quote ‘em
Don’t act surprised, you guys, cuz I wrote ‘em

8th I made it so we could wear tight jeans

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

JEFFERSON & MADISON:
Oww

JEFFERSON:
But Hamilton forgets
His plan would have the government assume state’s debts
Now, place your bets as to who that benefits:
The very seat of government where Hamilton sits

HAMILTON:
Not true!

JEFFERSON:
Ooh, if the shoe fits, wear it
If New York’s in debt—
Why should Virginia bear it? Uh! Our debts are paid, I’m afraid

Don’t tax the South cuz we got it made in the shade

Oh niggas must think I’m not petty cause I’m the best that’s ever made music

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

In Virginia, we plant seeds in the ground
We create. You just wanna move our money around

14th Nigga it’s called creativity #youshouldtryitsomeday

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

This financial plan is an outrageous demand

Second, your first single was corny as fuck and most there after

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

And it’s too many damn pages for any man to understand

3rd no one I know has ever listened to one of your albums all the way through

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

Stand with me in the land of the free
And pray to God we never see Hamilton’s candidacy
Look, when Britain taxed our tea, we got frisky

7th I am your OG and I will be respected as such

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

Imagine what gon’ happen when you try to tax our whisky

6th don’t ever come out the side of your neck at me

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

WASHINGTON:
Thank you, Secretary Jefferson. Secretary Hamilton, your response

HAMILTON:
Thomas. That was a real nice declaration

Welcome to the present, we’re running a real nation
Would you like to join us, or stay mellow
Doin’ whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello?

If we assume the debts, the union gets
A new line of credit, a financial diuretic
How do you not get it? If we’re aggressive and competitive
The union gets a boost. You’d rather give it a sedative?
A civics lesson from a slaver. Hey neighbor

11th I showed you respect as a man when I met you

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

Your debts are paid cuz you don’t pay for labor
“We plant seeds in the South. We create.”
Yeah, keep ranting
We know who’s really doing the planting

Bro first of all you stole your whole shit from Cudi

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

And another thing, Mr. Age of Enlightenment

Don’t lecture me about the war, you didn’t fight in it

10th don’t you ever in your fucking life speak sideways about a nigga that’s fighting for us I do this for all of us

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

You think I’m frightened of you, man?
We almost died in a trench

maybe I couldn’t be skinny and tall but I’ll settle for being the greatest artist of all time as a consolation

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

While you were off getting high with the French

15th Nigga I tried to call you and you changed your number

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

Thomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the President
Reticent—there isn’t a plan he doesn’t jettison
Madison, you’re mad as a hatter, son, take your medicine
Damn, you’re in worse shape than the national debt is in
Sittin’ there useless as two shits
Hey, turn around, bend over, I’ll show you
Where my shoe fits

Don’t ever ever ever come out the side of your mutherfucking neck bro or bruh or however you say it Mr. Waves

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

WASHINGTON:
Excuse me? Jefferson, Madison, take a walk! Hamilton,
take a walk! We’ll reconvene after a brief recess. Hamilton!

HAMILTON:
Sir!

WASHINGTON:
A word

MADISON:
You don’t have the votes

JEFFERSON/MADISON:
You don’t have the votes

JEFFERSON:
Aha-ha-ha ha!

JEFFERSON/MADISON:
You’re gonna need congressional approval and you don’t have the votes

JEFFERSON:
Such a blunder sometimes it makes me wonder why I even bring the thunder

MADISON:
Why he even brings the thunder…

WASHINGTON:
You wanna pull yourself together?

HAMILTON:
I’m sorry, these Virginians are birds of a feather

WASHINGTON:
Young man, I’m from Virginia, so watch your mouth

9th me and Cudi created this shit

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

HAMILTON:
So we let Congress get held hostage by the South?

WASHINGTON:
You need the votes

HAMILTON:
No, we need bold strokes. We need this plan

WASHINGTON:
No, you need to convince more folks

HAMILTON:
James Madison won’t talk to me, that’s a nonstarter

WASHINGTON:
Winning was easy, young man. Governing’s harder

HAMILTON:
They’re being intransigent

WASHINGTON:
You have to find a compromise

HAMILTON:
But they don’t have a plan, they just hate mine!

You have distracted from my creative process

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) January 27, 2016

WASHINGTON:
Convince them otherwise

HAMILTON:
What happens if I don’t get congressional approval?

WASHINGTON:
I imagine they’ll call for your removal

HAMILTON:
Sir—

WASHINGTON:
Figure it out, Alexander. That’s an order from your commander

Golden Globes 2016 – Best and Worst Dressed

Awards season was off to a (slightly censored) start last night with the Golden Globes, and now that we’re officially promised ceremonies filled with Kate and Leo reunions for the next few weeks, I’d say it’s looking pretty good. Also looking pretty good – a number of the ladies in designer gowns. We’re back to bring you our picks for Best and Worst dressed from the booze-filled ceremony, capes and all.

Best Dressed

Molly’s Picks

Brie Larson in Calvin Klein

Like our 2003 Junior Prom, dresses with cutouts in the midsection are really in – and like our 2003 Junior Prom, just having good abs isn’t enough to pull off the look. Take a closer look at the beading – this is one marvelously well-executed dress and the color is perfect on Brie’s complexion.

Alicia Vikander in Louis Vouitton

To be more specific: I love this on Alicia Vikander- it’s so fresh and minimal it almost looks like a light summer dress instead of a formal gown until you look at how beautifully executed the pleats are. It’s really deceptively simple, but if it were tailored just a bit less well we’d be in pinafore territory: that’s what makes this such a success in my book.

Jaimie Alexander in Genny

The Golden Globes are a bit more playful (read: boozy) than the Oscars, and it’s just the place for a bold geometric pattern like this. I can’t get over how perfect this emerald green color is on Jaime, and I’m almost amazed that the combination of the large pattern and low neckline isn’t over the top. I think the otherwise simple construction keeps it from crossing the line. Good work, Genny. Whoever you are.

Jennifer Lawrence in Dior Haute Couture

Every awards show has one gown that waffles between my best dressed and worst dressed list, and this is the one for Golden Globes 2016. My thought is, Jennifer Lawrence has been a staple at every awards show for the past 4 years, but she’s still young and I’m happy to see her take a few risks. So combining a swing top with cutouts seems like a good thing to do – and good on her for balancing it with simple, classic hair and makeup.

Lily James in Marchesa

Lowkey trend of the past 2 years: capes on the red carpet. But in tulle, it looks new and downright angelic. If this dress were simply white it wouldn’t make my list, but look at it in a few different photos – it’s actually rainbow pastel like Lily is the queen of the unicorns or something.

Traci’s Picks

Jenna Dewan Tatum in Zuhair Murad Couture

After clearly beating her husband at Lip Sync Battle the other night despite it being a tie, Jenna knocked it out of the park again on Sunday with this gorgeous flowing navy blue gown. It gives off serious Starry Night vibes to me, which just makes me think of romance and glamour.

Laverne Cox in Elizabeth Kennedy

When you’re tall and skinny like Laverne a dress like this makes you look like a freaking Grecian goddess. I love that collar, too. She knows how to work this gown.

Olivia Wilde in Michael Kors

Glittery dresses seemed to be in fashion last night, and one of my favorite looks came from this beauty, in a to die crimson colored dress. It fits her body perfectly and I’m loving the complimentary eye makeup. The whole ensemble makes her looks sexy yet sophisticated at the same time.

Jennifer Lopez in Giambattista Valli

I went through a mustard phase a few years ago, and I still stand by it. The color doesn’t look great on everyone, and I don’t think J Lo’s worn a lot of dresses in this color, but she looks great in it. With the Angelina Jolie leg and the Lupita cape, I love all of it.

Taraji P. Henson in Stella McCartney

I judge a lot of my Best/Worst dressed on how the person carries themselves in said gown. If it looks like the dress is wearing you, I’m more apt to put you on the Worst list. If you know how to rock a simple yet stunning gown like Taraji, you’ve made the Best dressed. She came into the ceremony to slay, and even managed to hand out cookies on her way up to get her trophy too.

Bonus: Michael B. Jordan looking fine af.

Worst Dressed

Molly’s Picks

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy

I think it’s supposed to be 1920s fringe meets 1930s Old Hollywood, but I feel like she’s the fanciest barmaid in the whole saloon (not into THIS MUCH fringe, even on someone like Cate Blanchett).

Melissa McCarthy

First of all, she looks absolutely beautiful except for the dress. Second, the dress isn’t exactly her fault – these awards shows really emphasize that a lot of designers don’t know what to do with anyone over a size 6 or so. Third, I still wish Melissa would find a way to stay away from these dresses that look like garbage bags.

Kate Hudson in Michael Kors

Remember when I referenced my 2003 prom talking about Brie Larson? Yeah. This one is actually straight off of an early 2000s prom rack. It reminds me of something Britney Spears or Keira Knightly would have worn 13 years ago, which isn’t soon enough for a revival in my book. The matching choker doesn’t help.

 

Giuliana Rancic in Alex Perry

Take the same dress, give it cap sleeves, and it would be fine (-ish).

 Wiz Khalifa in Thom Browne

Wiz Khalifa looked like he was having a blast, which is great. I just wish he’d take off the sunglasses, wear long pants, and tidy up his tie.

Traci’s Picks

Taylor Schilling in Thakoon

As I mentioned with Taraji, sometimes the outfit wears you instead of the other way around. Taylor made my best dressed both at the 2014 Emmys and 2015 Golden Globes, but I’m not feeling it this year. That blazer – and I know she loves low-cut tops – and the glitter pant combo? Sorry, not for me.

Patricia Arquette in Paule Ka

Instead of putting a bird on it, Patricia misheard and put a *bow* on it.

Jane Fonda in Saint Laurent Paris

Jane Fonda is 78 and has a rockin bod. Remember this electric gown from Cannes last year? While this kind of shows her frame off, that top is not doing her any favors. She looks like the roof of a Spanish style house.

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy

Cate Blanchett – amazing actress, okay red carpet star.

Regina King in Krikor Jabotian

As much as I love a cape, it needs to be utilized in the right fashion. Lupita’s GG cape? Yes. J Lo’s GG cape? Yes. Regina’s sheer fabric ‘cape’? Nope.