Golden Globes 2017 – Best Dressed

Annddd we’re back! Not only with new content for 2017, but content that includes our annual kick off to awards season with the Golden Globes! Last night saw some good times (Meryl Streep! Donald Glover!) and bad times (y’all see Hidden Fences?), but as always, we kept an eye on the fashion. Here are some of our faves from the 2017 Golden Globes.

Best Dressed

Molly’s Picks

Emma Stone in Valentino Haute Couture

Every year, we debate over contributing our true top picks and making sure that we don't have any repeats because there are plenty of gorgeous gowns to go around. And just about every year, we end up with one gown that neither of us can, in good conscience, leave off of our list. This time it's Emma Stone, a city of stars unto herself. I love the soft champagne color, the crenelated skirt (so 20s and 30s! so perfect for this role, in particular), and the understated hair, makeup and jewelry. Emma almost always makes our best list, and I'm thrilled she'll be on every red carpet this year because I think she's positively refreshing, both in her exquisite fashion picks and in her laid-back but kind personality.

Every year, we debate whether to contribute our true top picks or make sure that we don’t have any repeats, because there are plenty of gorgeous gowns to go around. And just about every year, we end up with one gown that neither of us can, in good conscience, leave off of our list. This time it’s Emma Stone, a city of stars unto herself. I love the soft champagne color, the crenelated skirt (so 20s and 30s! so perfect for this role, in particular), and the understated hair, makeup and jewelry. Emma almost always makes our best list, and I’m thrilled she’ll be on every red carpet this year because I think she’s positively refreshing, both in her exquisite fashion picks and in her laid-back but kind personality.

 

Natalie Portman in Prada

While my picks after Emma Stone follow in no particular order, I had to make sure Natalie Portman was on my best dressed list somewhere, if only because I was a bit confused by the dislike for this gown. Maternity fashion is tricky: go to bulky and you'll just look oddly shaped instead of pregnant; some go all the way the other direction but I always find skin-tight or crop-tops on pregnant woman to look uncomfortable. I like that Natalie chose a middle approach: tailored, crisp and cheerful, with a 60s boatneck vibe as a tribute to the one and only Jackie O. The feathery beading and midi sleeves made this feel like something I'd imagine a pregnant Audrey Hepburn wearing - or Jackie, of course.

While my picks after Emma Stone follow in no particular order, I had to make sure Natalie Portman was on my best dressed list somewhere, if only because I was a bit confused by the distaste for this gown. Maternity fashion is tricky: go too bulky and you’ll just look oddly shaped instead of pregnant; some go all the way the other direction but I always find skin-tight or crop-tops on pregnant woman to look uncomfortable. I like that Natalie chose a middle approach: tailored, crisp and cheerful, with a 60s-style boatneck as a tribute to the one and only Jackie O. The feathery beading and midi sleeves made this feel like something I’d imagine a pregnant Audrey Hepburn wearing – or Jackie, of course.

 

Donald Glover in Gucci

What I love: the brown velvet is such a beautifully smooth color that you could almost dive into it like melted chocolate. Also, Donald manages - at the same time - to look both like an old-school debonair gentleman, and a walking huggable teddy bear. This suit is a reminder that you don't have to go all the way to patterns or beading to explore a statement beyond the classic black tux. Plus that burgandy bow tie?! This is one of the biggest nights in Donald's career, and I just love that he is dressed for it.

What I love: the brown velvet is such a beautifully smooth color that you could almost dive into it like melted chocolate. Also, Donald manages – at the same time – to look both like an old-school debonair gentleman, and a walking huggable teddy bear. This suit is a reminder that you don’t have to go all the way to patterns or beading to explore a statement beyond the classic black tux. Plus that burgundy bow tie?! This is one of the biggest nights in Donald’s career, and I just love that he is dressed for it.

Lily Collins in Zuhair Murad Couture

We all love a simple black dress, but I also love when celebs take the red carpet invitation to seriously go for it. Stunning embroidery, piles of fabric, and an almost Victorian feel that's modernized by that fantastic neckline. Pair it with Lily's signature bold eyebrows and a red lip, and the look keep from going to

We all like a simple black dress, but I also love when celebs take the red carpet invitation to seriously go for it. Stunning embroidery, piles of fabric, and an almost Victorian feel that’s modernized by that fantastic neckline. Pair it with Lily’s signature bold eyebrows and a red lip, and the look keep from going to “80s bridesmaid” and lands in “coolest modern debutante on the block.”

Viola Davis in Michael Kors Collection

Viola Davis is flawless in everything, from Fences (SEE IT), to introductory speeches (I repeat my request that she make radio speeches weekly for the next 4 years to keep us steady), to this one-shoulder canary yellow gown. You can seldom go wrong pairing a vibrant color with a streamlined style and beautiful - but minimal - accessories. Also it would be a crime to cover up those arms.

Viola Davis is flawless in everything, from Fences (SEE IT), to introductory speeches (I repeat my request that she make radio speeches weekly for the next 4 years to keep us steady), to this one-shoulder canary yellow gown. You can seldom go wrong pairing a vibrant color with a streamlined style and beautiful – but minimal – accessories. Also it would be a crime to cover up those arms.

Millie Bobby Brown in Jenny Packham

This makes my list because it's fun, it's glitzy, it fits perfectly, and it's wonderfully age-appropriate. I'm dying a bit over the sheer layer at the hemline and all that beading, not to mention the sweet sandal-style heels. I'm typically not into tea length dresses on adults on the red carpet (though there are exceptions), but it's the perfect way for a child to look dressed up without looking like they're, well, playing dress-up as an adult.

This makes my list because it’s fun, it’s glitzy, it fits perfectly, and it’s wonderfully age-appropriate. I’m dying a bit over the sheer layer at the hemline and all that beading, not to mention the sweet sandal-style heels. I’m typically not into tea length dresses on adults on the red carpet (though there are exceptions), but it’s the perfect way for a child to look dressed up without looking like they’re, well, playing dress-up as an adult.

Traci’s Picks

Emma Stone in Valentino Haute Couture

For the first major awards show of the season, it’s only fitting the La La Land star picked a gown that features silver stars, since, ya know City of Stars and whatnot. Love the light pink color too – the stars are enough ‘bling’, and any other bright color would’ve been too much.

Mandy Moore in Naeem Kahn

God I am so glad Mandy Moore is back looking glam on red carpets where she belongs. Despite the fact she didn’t go home with a trophy, she’s still dressed like a winner in this gorgeous dress. Plunging necklines were a trend this year, and Mandy killed it. I also love the faux cape and sheer material that gives it another sexy edge for a full length gown.

Gina Rodriguez in Naeem Kahn

If I were Gina Rodriguez, I would spend the entire night shimmying left and right to get those beads movin like a 1920s flapper. She looks amazing from head to toe, and is working it like the true star she is.

Felicity Huffman in Georges Chakra

You can't really tell in this photo, but those are pants. And Felicity gave a simple explanation as to why she skipped a gown this year, and it's why she deserves a spot on the best dressed list (it's also v pretty).

If you can’t really tell in this photo, those are pants. And Felicity gave a simple explanation as to why she skipped a gown this year, and it’s why she deserves a spot on the best dressed list (it’s also v pretty). “I got a pantsuit in honor of Hillary. Love you, Hillary. I’m with her.” {x}

Issa Rae in Christian Siriano

Insecure is still on my To Watch list, but I really like Issa Rae based on interviews alone. And as a first-time nominee, she fits right in with this sleek Christian Siriano gown. Also, please note her flawless skin. It’s unreal.

Milo Ventimiglia in Ralph Lauren

That is Milo Ventimiglia and this is us saying goodbye to the #GoldenGlobes. ✨👋

A post shared by E! News (@enews) on

MILO. VENTIMIGLIA. IS. A. SMOKESHOW.

Sterling K. Brown in Kenneth Cole and Ryan Michelle Bathe in David Meister

photo-jan-08-11-34-37-pmDo yourself a favor and follow Sterling K. Brown on social media if you don’t already. Today’s Insta story featured him getting ready with his wife (also on This Is Us!) and they are #couplegoals AF. I mean look at these two hotties – his blue suit and her amazing pink sequined gown?! This is a screenshot of a boomerang and it doesn’t even do them justice. Neither does the screenshot below of Sterling’s time lapse of him putting his clothes on…
photo-jan-08-11-33-32-pm

Advertisements

Things We Need to Revisit From the 2016 Emmy Awards

The 68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards were last night and per usual, there were a lot of highlights and lowlights of the ceremony. But unexpectedly, a lot of our favorites took home the gold, and that’s why they helped make the Emmys one to remember. Here are some moments that we need to revisit today, and many days after today.

Stranger Things Kids Continue To Be Totally Rad

T: Handing out PB&J sandwiches on bicycles was an OK touch, but letting Gaten, Millie and Caleb take the stage to show their true talents of singing and dancing is the real win.

M: These kids are so pure and delightful I almost want to send them to 1983 to grow up there.

Hillary Clinton Wins An Emmy

T: Cue the first tears of the night. I legitimately rewound this reaction shot three times in a row right after it happened, and continue to be mesmerized by this GIF. Her speech was a tear jerker, but there was a cynical part of me that had me thinking… Kate truly deserved this for her performances this year, right? Listen, I love Kate and think she does great work on SNL, but part of me feels like Emmy voters partially gave the win to her because of Ghostbusters? Call it the Melissa McCarthy Effect. Remember when she won an Emmy the year she was in Bridesmaids? Yeah. But again, Kate is super talented and deserves all the praise she can get.

M: Kate is one of those SNL cast members who I noticed from her very first weeks and predicted that she’d be one of the great ones. She’s just that obviously good.

President of Tears

T: Did anybody else notice JLD didn’t seem herself when she got up to accept her award? She was shaky and looked like she wasn’t even planning a bit  – then it all made sense when she talked about her dad. Out of her six acting Emmy wins, I feel like this might be her most memorable.

M: After her speech, I remembered how sad she looked at the end of Kate’s speech and it was right when Kate had mentioned her dad. I know we say this a lot, but we just love JLD.

Score one for Long Duck Dong

T: In all seriousness, I am so so glad Aziz and Master of None co-creator/writer Alan Yang won for Best Writing. I wrote about the episode they won for, Parents, last year, and I’m just glad Emmy voters and viewers alike paid enough attention to a show which features so much diversity and the untold stories of first generation kids. My only gripe is that Aziz didn’t get to give his speech at all.

You Turkeys

T: Remember how our beloved Amy finally won her very first Emmy last week? Well she did, and she’s sharing it with her color-coordinating comedy wife Tina, and we were #blessed with their presence last night. Ever more #blessed that Amy called them out for nominating her 18 times without ever giving her a legit trophy.

M: They coordinated their dresses, right? I just think it’s really cute if they coordinated their dresses.

Sarah Paulson + Holland Taylor 4Ever

T: There was a time when these two didn’t publicly acknowledge each other as their significant others, and here we are, living in a world where all of the Internet can swoon in jealousy over their love. Yes, Sarah was for sure the right person to win an Emmy, but another thing I know for sure – I have a new ship.

M: I think we’ve had a WCW post about Sarah Paulson in our drafts for like a year and I’m not even sure which one of us did it.  I love that after years of working steadily, Sarah’s had this massive boost in her career lately.

Fred Armisen? More Like FredArminstein

T: Fred showed up in a hearse. And with bolts in his neck. Never change, man.

M: The “Armenstein” joke was cute, Traci.

Leslie Jones Slays All Day

T: You gotta give it up for Leslie Jones who continues to get back up every time assholes attempt to knock her down. And when she does get back up, she laughs it off and makes all of us laugh with her.

Bill Cosby Isn’t Here

M: Jimmy announced that Bill Cosby was coming on stage and Tina Fey was all of us:

So was Ellie Kemper:

Don’t worry, Bill Cosby wasn’t there.

How Do You Like Them Apples?

T: Matt Damon continues to ruin Jimmy Kimmel’s life. As soon as he came out eating that apple, I KNEW he was going to make a Good Will Hunting Reference.

Oh, We’re ALL Seeing This, Rami

T: I don’t watch Mr. Robot, but I did watch Rami in the one episode of Gilmore Girls, and he is great. I refer to Molly for this one.

M: Thanks, Traci. Okay here we go:

Mr. Robot is a show you should be watching if you aren’t already (I’m going to specifically recommend it to fans of Orphan Black). There’s this incredible ensemble cast but the whole thing rests on how amazing Rami Malek is. His character has a tenuous grip on reality, but he’s also broken and kind and incredibly intelligent – miles away from the “complex lonely guy” archetype. IRL, Rami just seems like a real gem of a human in addition to being good-looking and all that. His cousin was his Emmys date, he really loves his mom, and he interrupted an actor roundtable because everyone kept using male pronouns when discussing directors. He deserved to win and I’m so happy for him. PS he has a twin brother. Back to you, Traci.

Give TatMas 12 Emmys For Each Clone Pls

T: I can barely look at any videos or pix or GIFs or tweets from her co-stars because I start to tear up. I am so proud of this talented angel of a human in a way I would be proud if one of my nearest and dearest won an award.

M: I was so used to Tatiana not even getting nominated that I didn’t think she would win (SHOULD win, yes). I almost feel like she went so long without a nomination/win because she’s so amazing: as though voters who don’t watch the show couldn’t really understand that she was playing all of these characters, and none of them a caricature.

It was such a blur after she won that I had to rewatch her speech Monday morning because I forgot what she even said.

Also, we love Canadians.

Also also, she and her boyfriend are very cute:

 

A few Best Dressed faves:

Kerry Washington in Brandon Maxwell
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS HOT MAMA. THE DRESS, THE HAIR, THE BUMP?! I wish to look like her any day of the week.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS HOT MAMA. THE DRESS, THE HAIR, THE BUMP?! I wish to look like her any day of the week.

Kristen Bell in Zuhair Murad
It's like if Princess Anna was a modern day TV star and nominated for Best Actress in a Limited Series.

It’s like if Princess Anna was a modern day TV star and nominated for Best Actress in a Limited Series.

Yara Shahidi in Clara Rotescu

I don’t watch black-ish, but I am kind of obsessed with Yara? She seems like such a poised, smart, talented young lady who is ready to become a role model to girls (and women) of all backgrounds. This dress is perfect for a 16-year-old who’s still young and playful but also an actress on the verge of being a grown-up. Also, she’s the type of stunning that makes you feel like a creep because you’ve been stalking her on Insta for too long what

Priyanka Chopra in Jason Wu
I mean, come on.  I love how this plays off of the diaphanous, one-shoulder trend that's been going on for a few awards seasons but puts it in vibrant color.

I mean, come on. I love how this plays off of the diaphanous, one-shoulder trend that’s been going on for a few awards seasons but puts it in vibrant color.

Rami Malek in Dior
White dinner jackets have made a comeback in the past few years and with the new slimmer tailoring, they're not looking like your dad's wedding outfit from 1975. IMO, black pants are crucial to keep it from looking like a first communion suit.

White dinner jackets have made a comeback in the past few years and with the new slimmer tailoring, they’re not looking like your dad’s wedding outfit from 1975. IMO, black pants are crucial to keep it from looking like a first communion suit.

Sarah Paulson in Prada
We all have those celebs who are hit-or-miss for us on the red carpet (Kerry, Kirsten, I'm looking at you). Sarah Paulson is one of mine, but when she looks incredible she looks really incredible. I love a nice vibrant green and Sarah, Tina and Amy were looking like the queens of the Emerald City last night. There are so few times you can wear a gown embroidered in crystals and stones, you know?

We all have those celebs who are hit-or-miss for us on the red carpet (Kerry, Kirsten, I’m looking at you). Sarah Paulson is one of mine, but when she looks incredible she looks really incredible. I love a nice vibrant green and Sarah, Tina and Amy were looking like the queens of the Emerald City last night. There are so few times you can wear a gown embroidered in crystals and stones, you know?

 

Live Blog: Academy Awards 2016

Hi pals! It’s that time of year again – watching the Academy Awards and liveblogging it, despite the fact we haven’t seen half the movies. Relive the memz with our liveblog!


12:08 AM

That’s a wrap, everyone! Thanks for joining us, and please stop by tomorrow while we discuss our best and worst dressed picks! Promise we won’t list Leo 10 times in a row for Best Dressed. Probably.


 

12:05 PM

Best Picture

The Big Short

Bridge of Spies

Brooklyn

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Martian

The Revenant

Room

Spotlight

Traci’s Pick: The Revenant

Because Leo needs this.

Molly’s Pick: The Revenant

I will go down with this ship.

Winner: Spotlight

M: Okay, that was my second-most-likely pick.

T: Same. except I haven’t seen it.

M: Hmm. I.. well, I think I’m really happy that this is going to get a lot more focus on the abuse in the church. But strictly AS A MOVIE I wasn’t blown away, if that makes sense?

M: Chris Rock invited everyone to the BET Awards. No, but what if everyone shows up? Little Jacob Tremblay. His hot parents. Those guys with the skull necklaces. Leo. His mom.

T: What’s happening here the winners were forced to come out and literally get a golden shower

M: It reminds me of the end of the telethon episode of Full House. Ugh. I’m not even cultured enough to properly WATCH the Oscars.

T: It’s a memorable episode, TBH.

M: As was this evening. IDK, just still very happy for Leo.

WAIT. They’re playing Public Enemy’s Fight The Power. AHAHAHAHA


12:05 AM

T: I’M SO NERVOUS I’M ABOUT TO VOMIT

M: I CAN’T THINK OF NORMAL THINGS TO SAY, just Titanic quotes.

T: WIN IT FOR KATE. WIN IT FOR MR. ANDREWS.

M: FOR CORA. LITTLE CORA.

T: FOR THAT SWEET OLD COUPLE WHO DIED IN THEIR BED.

M: AND THAT MOM READING THE STORY TO HER TWO CHILDREN.

T: AND THE STRING QUARTET THAT DIDN’T STOP PLAYING

M: THEY WENT DOWN WITH THAT SHIP AND SO WILL I.

Best Actor

Bryan Cranston, Trumbo

Matt Damon, The Martian

Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant

Michael Fassbender, Steve Jobs

Eddie Redmayne, The Danish Girl

Traci’s Pick: Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant

I S2G IF LEO DOESN’T WIN.

Molly’s Pick: Leonardo DiCaprio

I’LL NEVER LET GO.

Winner: LEONARDO DICAPRIO

T: KATE BUT WAIT KATE KATEEEEEEEEE

M: WHERE IS KATE.

T: HE SAID “CATON?” AND I THOUGHT HE SAID KATE

M: AHAHAHA ME TOO.

M: You know what else was about man’s relationship with the natural world? Titanic.

M: Ahhh, there she is.

Seriously, very classy of the producers to let Leo talk without cutting him off. It’s midnight EST, we’re all about to turn into pumpkins anyway.


11:50 PM

M: Current state: “Now I have the steady hand” Rachel Green.

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett, Carol

Brie Larson, Room

Jennifer Lawrence, Joy

Charlotte Rampling, 45 Years

Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn

Traci’s Pick: Brie Larson, Room

The Academy could pull a surprise and pick faves Cate or Jennifer, but Brie’s been slaying left and right. It’s her year.

Molly’s Pick: Brie Larson, Room

Let’s make up for Jacob Tremblay’s non-nomination.

Winner: Brie Larson

M: And there I go again (crying, naturally). Mostly because of how beautiful and honest her performance in Room was.

ALSO: 

She just seems like a peach.

T: Just think, Brie wins an Oscar AND Jacob Tremblay. She’s also incredibly composed for just winning an oscar.

M: That’s what I said about her in the preshow – that she always seems so calm! Someone get me the number of Brie Larson’s yoga teacher or meditation…guy?


11:40 PM

M: I always feel like awards shows are the west coast’s revenge, because they usually get the raw end of live tv.

Which is to say, I’m in New York and I’m tired.

T: God bless time zones.

Best Director

Adam McKay, The Big Short

George Miller, Mad Max: Fury Road

Alejandro G. Iñárritu, The Revenant

Lenny Abrahamson, Room

Tom McCarthy, Spotlight

Traci’s Pick: Alejandro G. Iñárritu, The Revenant

Two-peat for Alejandro?? Probs.

Molly’s Pick: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Revenant was the best movie I’ve barely been able to watch.

Winner: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

M: Yay! I hope this means we hear a lot more Revenant for the rest of the awards (read: Best Actor).

T: To be clear, Kate and Leo are separated by one aisle and a Cate Blanchett. Just so we can get an idea of the floorplan for whatever happens next.

M: I’ve never more wanted to be Cate Blanchett. Or an aisle.


11:32 PM

M: Quincy Jones is one of the most powerful people in the entertainment industry but I look at him and think “wow. Rashida’s dad.”

T: same. SAME.

T: Is Pharrell’s hair blonde???

M: Confirmed: Pharrell’s hair is blonde. Somehow makes him look even MORE like an ageless vampire-person than usual.

Best Original Song

“Earned It,” 50 Shades Of Grey

“Manta Ray,” Racing Extinction

“Simple Song #3,” Youth

“Til It Happens to You,” The Hunting Ground

“Writing’s on the Wall,” Spectre

Traci’s Pick: “Til It Happens to You,” The Hunting Ground

We’re in the middle of a Gagaissance, and she’s has been campaigning for her first Oscar hard. One step closer to EGOT, Gaga.

Molly’s Pick: “Til It Happens to You,” The Hunting Ground

I don’t know any of these songs.

Winner: “Writing’s on the Wall,” Spectre

M: Truth, this was a boring-ass song and I LOVE Sam Smith.

T: Awww I’m happy for Sam despite the fact I don’t care too much for this song. *disclosure (no pun intended) we wrote that at the same time

M: 11:28 PM EST. But thanks for all your little sketches, Oscars.

Sacha Baron Cohen’s bit fell flat right?

T: WHAT YEAR IS IT, ALI G???

T: Just realized how many exes Rachel McAdams is surrounded by tonight. Two, by my count?

M: Before you finished, I was about to reply “HOW MANY EXES,” so thanks for anticipating that.


11:17 PM

T: Honestly, Jacob  Tremblay, I want to put you in my pocket and and bring you around with me all day.

M: “I loved you in Madagascar!” Jacob Tremblay, my son. (Just kidding, I’m sure Jacob Tremblay’s hot parents love him very much.)

T: Speaking hot parents – or maybe not – this Irish dude is QT.

M: Agreed.

T: The academy: “We didn’t nominate any black folks, so here are “International stars Sofia Vergara and this Korean actor I’ve never seen in my life’ presenting Best Foreign Language Film. BOOM, DIVERSITY.”

M: “I don’t think you understand, here is an ENTIRE TROOP BEVERLY HILLS OF COLOR.” – The Academy

M: Is this gonna be the year everyone realizes they love Joe Biden?

T: JOE BIDEN JUST SAID, “HEY MATT, HOW ARE YOU” AND POINTED AT MATT DAMON.

M: Man. I wish Joe Biden was running for President. Too late for Biden to be making a surprise Oscar night, pre-Super Tuesday announcement? No?

T: GOD that would be a GD dream.

M: Gaga is doing basically a fancy version of the song Paige won the talent show with on Degrassi. (IDK I’ve muted it but I’m almost positive.)

T: Really glad I didn’t wear make-up today!

M: I’m not wearing any makeup; I also had to mute the TV and read the internet instead of watching that, so I really covered all bases.


11:00 PM

M: Didn’t they used to do the honorary Oscar during the show? On one hand those always run like 20 minutes, on the other Gena Rowlands is one of the best actresses alive and I wouldn’t have minded seeing her.

T: Did you see her during the pre-show? She was talking to Ryan Seacrest and he showed her a photo of The Notebook cast and someone had to remind her what she was looking at. Bless.

M: Like, apparently, Gena Rowlands herself, I forgot that she was in The Notebook.


10:46 PM

M: On one hand, I can usually take a joke at my expense. On the other, if I were a documentary short subject nominee, I probably wouldn’t love Louis C.K. riffing on how poor and unimportant I am?

M: Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy is winning her SECOND Oscar, so whatever, C.K. The Pakistani PM said he would change the law on honor killing after seeing this documentary, so I guess I’d drive a Civic if my movie was going to do something like that.

Best Documentary Feature

Amy

Cartel Land

The Look of Silence

What Happened, Miss Simone?

Winter on Fire: Ukraine’s Fight for Freedom

Traci’s Pick: Amy

I have yet to see What Happened, Miss Simone? but Amy was truly insightful and heartbreaking, and included a lot of footage I’ve never seen before. Plus I found out I’m like two degrees away from Amy Winehouse after watching this movie.

Molly’s Pick: What Happened, Miss Simone?

I haven’t seen this, but I feel like this and Amy have been the most buzz-y and I didn’t think Amy was edited and cut all that well.

Also the way the nominee names go from shortest to longest is very visually pleasing.

Winner: Amy

M: There were 2 Amy Winehouse documentaries on Amazon and I’m starting to wonder if I watched the wrong (non-nominated) one?

M: What better way to highlight how white the Oscars are than to make fun of Asian children for being good at math?


10:33 PM

T: I am HERE for Kate and her glasses.

M: Sexual orientation: Straight + Kate Winslet In Glasses.

T: Whoa Kate Capshaw is serving with that bow tie and suit.

M: Also sexual orientation: Mark Ruffalo Winking. What? I usually hate winking.

M: Wow. I really don’t like Chris Rock’s man on the street segment. You’re not Billy. (Note: I like that he turned it into an #OscarsSoWhite thing, but the segment itself is whatever)

T: This woman with the purple wig is going to be a viral hit in approx 5 minutes.

M: Real headline on the Daily Mail right now: “Olivia Munn shows off 12 pound weight loss.” Do you really show off 12 pounds lost? Can people even tell? Because if I gain that, I go off the assumption that nobody can.

T: 12 you can totally tell, it’s 11 pounds where it’s unrecognizable.

M: That’s why you’re our Hollywood-based correspondent.

T: Also, real tweet from Stacey Dash:

M: Dionne. Shhh.

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale, The Big Short

Tom Hardy, The Revenant

Mark Ruffalo, Spotlight

Mark Rylance, Bridge of Spies

Sylvester Stallone, Creed

Traci’s Pick: Sylvester Stallone, Creed

This is Sly’s third nomination, after getting nominated for the first Rocky as Best Actor and Best Original Screenplay. He has the best chance at winning this category, since he’s a Hollywood fave. For once, he’s not an underdog.

Molly’s Pick: Sylvester Stallone, Creed

Personally I’d vote for Tom Hardy, or maybe Mark Ruffalo, but there’s a lot of buzz about Sly and a lot of times the Academy can’t resist the sentimental pick.

Winner: Mark Rylance

T: Frreal. digging Sly’s black and blue suit. But also, his face when he didn’t win was v “ugh, you can’t win ‘em all.” ALSO I’M GETTING NERVOUS FOR LEO.

M: Was not expecting this. Obviously. Also Mark Rylance was great and I didn’t see Creed, so I’m not sure why I felt a little disappointed that Sly didn’t win.


10:19 PM

M: Bonus Jacob Tremblay’s Hot Parents sighting.

M: Are Chris Rock’s adorable daughters really selling Girl Scout cookies? I would willingly be part of a dumb awards show bit if I got cookies at the end. Especially, but not limited to, Samoas.

T: Can these girl scouts deliver to a 30-year-old woman approx 3 miles away watching Minons present an award at the Academy Awards? kthx

T: Bear Story: The prequel to The Revenant

M: 2016: not a great Oscars for people of color, AWESOME for bear-actors.

T: I’m unexpectedly tearing up at the sight of Buzz and Woody. EFF YOU Toy Story 3.

M: Oh yeah. That movie screwed me up but good.

Best Animated Feature

Anomalisa

Boy and the World

Inside Out

Shaun the Sheep Movie

When Marnie Was There

Traci’s Pick: Inside Out

Emotion if this clear favorite doesn’t win: Lewis Black. Like all of Lewis Black as Anger.

Molly’s Pick: Inside Out

Hi, still crying over this one.

Winner:  Inside Out

M: I didn’t ACTUALLY expect to tear up the instant that was announced but I ACTUALLY am.

T: Inside Out, also screwed me up but good.

M: It’s such a useful and important movie for kids, too. Like, for helping them identify their emotions – my little niece is going through a really tough time and when we were watching Inside Out for what felt like the 20th time, she said “actually, I’m sad but I’m still mostly made of joy.” TEARS. Bless this movie.

T: Did they bleep out Kevin Hart for saying “damnit” or am I making that up?

M: I thought my TV just cut out but I feel like that’s, in fact, what happened.

M: The Weeknd’s performance is like Phantom Of The Opera + Cirque du Soleil + Fosse.


10:03 PM

M: OH WOW. Ex Machina, A movie other than Mad Max, just took one of the technical awards.

M: I hope this doesn’t read as shade because it isn’t: the inventions from the tech awards sound amazing. (BTW, my sister-in-law’s uncle won one one year; it’s on his mantle and fun at Christmas parties).

M: Favorite segment of the hour: Tina Fey’s commercial.


9:54 PM

M: If I didn’t already have a headache, I’d have one after that sound editing intro. Their tactic was, I guess, to include every sound that ever appeared in the nominated films.

T : Um give these dudes a reality show about sound and skull necklaces

M: Observation: the technical winners LOVE gothic and renaissance themed accessories.
Oh God. They’re doing the thing again for the Sound Editing category. (Mad Max, naturally, wins).


9:45 PM

T: Oh boy I would not ever want to mess with Suge Knight, y’all.

T: Michael B. Jordan. what  GD DREAM MAN.

ok, get them in a romance movie pls

T: The way they’re shooting this cinematography category feel like I’m on a ride at Universal Studios.

T: Man The Revenant’s cinematography was so beautiful and breathtaking. I would’ve been so upset if it didn’t win.  

M: Likewise. I actually thought to myself “wow, this is some gorgeous cinematography” while I was watching it. (Not a thought I always have during movies.)

M: Mad Max just won for editing. Definitely going to be the biggest winner of the night, unless The Revenant sweeps the big categories.

“Mad Mad was the best reviewed film of 2015. Audiences loved it.” RUB IT IN, WHY DON’T YOU.

T: HOLY SHIT ARE THEY LAYING IN ON WILL SMITHohjk Jack Black.

T: “The Minons are on their way” FUCKING FINALLY, said absolutely no one.

M: In case anyone’s looking  for some reading during the music segment, here’s why nominee Anohni won’t be there.

(I had a moment of “I don’t know who that is,” but I do and you probably do too: she was formerly known as Antony Hegarty, of Antony and the Johnsons).


9:32 PM

Best Costume Design

Carol

Cinderella

The Danish Girl

Mad Max: Fury Road

Traci’s Pick: Mad Max: Fury Road

IDK, it’s probably impressive to create costumes for a time period that hasn’t happened yet.

Molly’s Pick: Cinderella

The costume designer has won a few times before, and that blue dress is pretty legit. But I’ve also heard Carol is all about the costumes, so.

Winner: Mad Max: Fury Road

M: Like I said before, I got maybe 20 minutes into Mad Max and I just couldn’t do it. The costumes were part of it. There was a man wearing a weird hat or a … crazy mask? …  I forget… making a proclamation on a mountaintop and I was like “I’m sorry, I tried. I cannot.”

T: Of COURSE the Mad Max costume designer is wearing a bedazzled leather jacket.

T: So there’s a big change this year with nominees given the opportunity to hand in a list of names of the people they want to thank but it didn’t happen with that woman that just won?

M: The scroll I’ve been complaining about for a half hour doesn’t even work. Sorry, Academy. You tried a new thing. Not as new as nominating people who aren’t white, but newish.

T: Is a Tina/Steve Carell reunion a subconscious way for Hollywood to know they want a Date Night sequel?

M: I’d love for Tina Fey and Steve Carrell to become a popular buddy duo, a la Tina and Amy, and make dozens of movies together.

Mad Max just won for production design. The minutes I watched were mostly deserts and jalopies, but presumably that changes.

M: Makeup and hairstyling… we didn’t do guessing but probably Mad Max again?

T: um Magic Mike XXL, not Magic Mike 2, jared leto. get it straight.

M: His strength was all in his hair, Traci.

Well. Mad Max just won again. It wasn’t a bad movie, just a movie my ears and eyeballs couldn’t put up with.

T: This portion of the show was sponsored by the Australian tourism board.

T: After introducing The Revenant as a Best Picture nominee, they shot to a bear clapping in the audience, and no one laughed. Alejandro was confused, Leo is still crying over Kate not winning, and that officially became the second fake bear joke that’s failed this awards season.


9:16 PM

T: WAIT UPDATE POEHLER IS THERE AND SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL NOBLE LAND MERMAID

M: I know prerecorded comedy bits are what make the show run over – and what I retroactively hate about the show around 11:15 PM – but I’m just so thrilled to see Leslie Jones. I also love that despite nominating only white actors, the Oscars has ended up with the largest non-white presence in the show probably ever.

M: NEVER MIND. STACY DASH.

T: That joke…. did not land…. at all. We are all The Weeknd.

M: 9:03 PM. 2 minutes of Sarah Silverman doing a James Bond bit (Sarah, I love you but I’m going somewhere with this). 11:03 PM: The actual winners of the biggest awards in film being ushered off the stage after 30 seconds.

It feels like every year there’s a song from James Bond, and (1) I didn’t know a James Bond movie came out, (2) the song is boring as hell. This year is no different.

M: For those of you only really following the main categories, Best Supporting Actress should be up next, then like 10 awards you won’t care about.

T: “My favorite song is Father Figure” ugh come on. Enough. We get it Sam Smith and George Michael are both gay and British.

M: Getting super nervous about this category. #ShipWatch2016, get your looking glass and binoculars ready.

Confession: I saw Spotlight last week when I was REALLY sick and I dozed off for about, I’d say 4-7 minutes. Which included the scene they just showed for Rachel McAdams, apparently.

Best Supporting Actress

Jennifer Jason Leigh, The Hateful Eight

Rooney Mara, Carol

Rachel McAdams, Spotlight

Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl

Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

Traci’s Pick: Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

I haven’t seen Steve Jobs (and neither have a lot of people, I guess), but Kate Winslet is always great in what she does. Alicia Vikander was transcendent in The Danish Girl, but I low key also want Kate to win so she takes pix with her new gold statue and *fellow winner* Leo.

Molly’s Pick: Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

Word on the street is the race is between Kate Winslet and Alicia Vikander. On one hand I’m tempted to go with Alicia because the Academy loves giving Best Supporting Actress to unknown young actresses, on the other hand, they called it the ship of dreams. And it was. It really was.

Winner: Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl

M: I don’t like the thank-you scroll.

T: I saw The Danish Girl last week (not sick) and Alicia was really good. Did anyone see Steve Jobs? No? Ok, Kate still deserves it but whatever.

M: Based on our comments above, I think we knew it would be Alicia. I still say she’s a princess (specifically: Belle).
Maybe this is just because I majored in foreign languages, but I think it’s so fascinating how people’s accents differ depending on where they learned English: like how Alicia sounds like a mix of English with a tiny bit of Swedish, and completely different from the Swedish-Americans I know – yet you can hear the common Swedish accent underneath either the American or English accent.


8:55 PM

M: Well. It’s about time, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

(expect all the Titanic gifs)

T: This looks like the beginning of Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (I’ve never seen it).

M: I saw it in the theatre, despite reading a review entitled ‘Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium Is Really, Really Bad’ (that’s true).

Not to get too Titanic (oh, who am I kidding), but there’s a majestic, booming chorus sounds like when Titanic set sail from Southampton. There’s a deep cut for those of you who owned both the Titanic soundtrack AND the Back To Titanic Soundtrack (so, other girls who were born in 1986)

T: AKA the both of us

T: I’m glad they were able to sneak Magic Mike XXL in that (necessary) montage

T: *take a shot for #OscarsSoWhite ref*

M: Chris Rock always sparks the same reaction from me as kids on the Disney Channel: yes, you’re very talented, but would you PLEASE stop yelling?

T: i just had a flashback to chris rock hosting the ’99 VMAs. *what a time to be alive*

M: Ah, yes. I remember that from the VHS tape I made where I edited out the commercials. Cool kid here.

T: “EveryBODY GOT MAD!” We are witnessing peak Chris Rock right now.

M: Chris Rock: not fair that Will Smith didn’t get nominated, also not fair Will Smith “made $20,000 for Wild Wild West.” The truth of which makes Alicia Vikander look like she may cry.

T: *take a shot for Wanda Sykes ref*

M: “Hollywood is sorority racist. ‘We like you, Rhonda, but you’re not a Kappa.’”

T: A show where it’s only reaction shots from white people after a black comedian/enne makes a race joke

T: The #AskHerMore joke made me uncomfy for like the first 20 seconds, TBH

M: ME TOO, I was getting really nervous about where he was going to take it.

Where are all the seat fillers? I counted like 10 empty seats in the front center section.

T: Wait.. “Charice” Theron? Did Chris have an Adele Dazeem moment?

M People tend to get her confused with Charice, the teen singer who used to be on Oprah a lot.

T: “Charice Pempengco among most influencial singers in Asia”

M: When did that happen?! I missed some things.

T: BTW Emily Blunt is the most beautiful with that baby bump. Where is JKras tho?!

M: I hope he’s here! Traci, if I ever  have kids, I’ll pay you $5 to never say baby bump.

T: Give me it now and I’ll promise to never say it to anyone again.

M: Is this a friendship or a series of small bets and tiny transactions? Anyone’s guess.

Best Original Screenplay

Bridge of Spies

Ex Machina

Inside Out

Spotlight

Straight Outta Compton

Traci’s Pick: Inside Out/Spotlight

I feel like Inside Out is the most original in the truest sense of the word, but Spotlight might take it since it’s more Oscar-y that Inside Out.

Molly’s Pick: Spotlight

Inside Out was more innovative, but would they give best screenplay to a cartoon – even a really great one?

Winner: Spotlight

M: I know Spotlight is an “important movie” and everything but I’ll say it: I was really hoping for Inside Out.

M: With Best Adapted Screenplay, we get to the first overwrought banter of the night.

T: Ryan Gosling, Canadian treasure – please go hang out with Rachel McAdams and make everyone pass out. Titanic and The Notebook is too much for millennials.

M: #BirdWatch2016

Best Adapted Screenplay

The Big Short

Brooklyn

Carol

The Martian

Room

Traci’s Pick: The Martian

Because who doesn’t love a good, heart-warming comedy??

Molly’s Pick: Room

It’s not easy to adapt a first-person novel to a screenplay without relying too much on voiceovers, moreso when the narrator is 5 years old. I read the books & saw the movies for both Brooklyn and Room and both were great. I guess I just want a win for Ireland either way.

Winner: The Big Short

M: Okay, that screenplay was really good. WAIT. Why are they scrolling thanks along the bottom of the screen?! Is this going to happen all night?

T: The director of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy just won an Oscar.


8:26 PM

M: Mark Ruffalo uses his interview screen time to talk about basically every hot-button issue there is (OK, maybe just child abuse and #OscarsSoWhite). 

T: Where’s Bow Wow to accidentally throw to the live show 3 times?

M: Oh god. The show doesn’t even START for another 4 minutes. I feel like I’ve been watching this forever.


8:15 PM

T: V IMPORTANT Q: IS KATE LEO’S DATE? I KNOW HE SAID HE BROUGHT HIS PARENTS BUT WHY ARE THEY POSING FOR PIX ON THE CARPET TOGETHER BESIDES TRYING TO KILL ALL OF US SIMULTANEOUSLY

M: Who else would she be with, her husband Mr. ROCKNROLL?

(Why yes, I am still mad that Kate’s married to, not just not-Leo, but specifically someone named Ned Rocknroll)

T: Are you kidding me? We’re reporting on the fact that Chris Rock is using a RAINBOW PEN to make notes on his script?
M: Once people start filing inside, it’s like Christmas after you’ve opened presents. Fun’s over.


8:07 PM

M: First of all, Lady Gaga seems very sweet, right? Second, I feel like if you’re not into Lady Gaga, people who love her think that means you hate Lady Gaga. But sometimes you’re just not into her.

This is me saying I’m not into Lady Gaga, however I think she’s very talented and seems genuinely like a good person.

Oh, Naomi Watts. Sequins everywhere. Actually, kind of a lot of sequins this year overall? Which I love. There are so few places where you can wear sequins.

Thank the universe I’m not in a line of work where anyone will ever say that I “debuted my baby bump.” There are like 3 gross things right there.

Hang on. Jacob Tremblay posted a selfie of him and his improbably hot parents on the way to the ceremony. Cutest ever.

In the car! #Oscars With my mom @christina.tremblay and dad #jasontremblay

A post shared by Jacob Tremblay (@jacobtremblay) on

T: I’M ALREADY CRYING FOR LEO. WHATEVER HAPPENS, WE’RE ALL #TEAMLEO

M: I came up from changing over some laundry and LEO WAS ON SCREEN. I’m never washing my clothes again.

T: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GOODBYE #SHIPWATCH2016

M: You know what, Robin? Don’t use this as a time to plug the “dream in gold” slogan. This is Leo’s time.
We should say: our #ShipWatch2016 is, in full, the Frederick Fleet Memorial Ship Watch 2016, in honor of the Titanic’s watchman, because all of our cultural references are somewhere between 20 and 104 years old.


7:50 PM

T: Um has E! stopped interviewing people on the red carpet? I CANNOT MISS KATE AND/OR LEO. #SHIPWATCH2016 (note: I have to watch E! for work ughhhh)

M: On ABC, where they’re allowed to interview people, they’re speaking to Julianne Moore. She calls Carol a beautiful movie and for a second I think “wait, wasn’t she in that?” Cate Blanchett, everyone. They don’t even look alike.

T: UGH seriously, I haven’t even seen a glimpse of Julianne Moore! This is an outrage.

M: She looks great! Her gown is black with a sequin-trimmed bodice and a sort of diaphonous skirt.

M: TINA FEY IS HERE?!  She says she “literally started clapping” when she saw Charlize Theron, which incidentally was my reaction to seeing Tina Fey.  She’s wearing purple and a necklace with lots of hearts of the ocean. Okay, or blue stones. We’re in Titanic mode tonight.T: I HAD TO SWITCH OVER BC I SAW ON TWITTER TINA IS HERE. IS AMY HERE TOO BECAUSE INSIDE OUT?!

M: DON’T START, BITCH.

(What if she is?!)

Cate Blanchett is in a mint/aqua gown with feathery floral accents. She’s another hit/miss for me but she looks like a dream.

Are you a person even?


7:40 PM

M: Kerry Washington on the red carpet… first of all, she’s so gorgeous she can take any fashion risk she wants. Which is me saying that the constructed leather bodice on her gown isn’t my fav.  But even if I don’t always love what Kerry wears, I always like what she has to say. She says she respects the people who have chosen to boycott the Oscars, but feels like she’s most useful when her voice is at the table.

Aside: Red carpet interviews are where you really see which actors are ‘thinkers’ and/or went to school before beginning their work.

Matt Damon: “It wasn’t The Revenant”. Just setting our expectations for how his night’s gonna go really early.

Jimmy Kimmel and the host riff about Matt Damon. Feels like 2008 all over again. Jimmy: “Ben Affleck, who used to date Matt Damon back in the old days…”. (His post-Oscar special airs after your local news.)


7:30 PM

M: An Academy rep on diversity, stealing lines from me after a bad grade in 10th grade math: I’ll try harder; this won’t happen next time, etc.

An early congrats to Eddie Redmayne! Because his new niece was born a few hours ago. So really, either way he’s a winner (which is good, because he’s in a tough category, and also because he would make an ADORABLE uncle. I can just see it!).


7:22 PM

M:  Brie Larson always seems so calm! She’s wearing royal blue and my first thought was that I could see her winning in that gown. There’s been a lot of champaigne and off-white lately and a real COLOR makes more of a statement.

Rooney Mara tends to seem bored, and I don’t think she is, I think she just doesn’t have a very excitable demeanor. She usually tends a bit more avant garde on the red carpet but I’m just not excited about this look. I mean she looks gorgeous, but that goes without saying. 

Would it be weird to put Jacob Tremblay on our best dressed list?


7:12 PM

M: Hi Everyone! I’m watching the ABC preshow (and as someone without cable, I’m just thrilled that there IS a preshow for me to watch).

Let me start off by saying that I’ve seen all, or almost all, of the nominees. I only made it about 20 minutes into Mad Max. I’m sure it’s great – it’s nominated and all – but not for me.

Alicia Vikander: I can’t be sure if her Louis Vuitton  is going to go over well – it has that short-long, or “mullet” (ew) thing and is sort of a lighter canary yellow. I love it though. She’s an absolute princess.

Olivia Wilde’s gown is gauzy and white with crisp pleats and a lot of skin. She’s a presenter. That’s the time you can wear something like this:

Saoirse Ronan is wearing an emerald green sequined gown, with one white and one green earring. The green feels like a call back to her first Oscar nomination. Will the earrings be a hit? She’s young and I think it’s fun. Plus she probably has dozens of other Oscars to look serious.

Saoirse confirms that she wanted to wear green all along. Calvin Klein designed her gown.

Playlist Of The Month: Songs By 2016 Grammy Nominees

The 2016 Grammy Awards are tonight – the messy, reckless, unpredictable party of the awards season, where the actual awards take a backseat to the outfits, rivalries, and  performances. It’s bound to be the highlight of our Monday nights this year, especially with the amazing slate of nominees. This playlist contains only songs by 2016 Grammy nominees, so listen to it to evaluate the potential winners and get psyched up for tonight’s awards. Then, tune in tonight to witness the awards first hand!

Listen to the whole Spotify playlist here!
spotify:user:122917273:playlist:3CFELD66cFF5I452dHRBaX

Traci’s Picks

Nominee: Sam Hunt (Best New Artist, Best Country Album)
Song: Take Your Time

Y’all. If you are not acquainted with Sam Hunt yet – GET ON IT NOW. He’s a former college football player-turned-singer/songwriter-turned solo country singing superstar. He’s got so much working for him – he’s got a great voice, he can talk/rap (?) and make it sound cool, his songs are on fiiiire, and he is the most attractive crooning angel in country music. This song is baby makin’ music right here. If you want more, listen to the entire Montevallo album. Speakers. That’s all I’m saying.

Nominee: Disclosure (Best Dance/Electronic Album)
Song: Magnets ft. Lorde

The second I heart Latch by Disclosure & Sam Smith, I was hooked. Their Caracal album is an EDM/pop dream. In Magnets, Lorde brings her seductive/creepy tone to a dope beat that you can’t stop listening to.

Nominee: Kendrick Lamar (Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Best Pop Duo/Group Performance, Best Dance Recording, Best Rap Performance, Best Rap/Sung Collaboration, Best Rap Song, Best Rap Album, Best Music Video)
Song: Alright

Kendrick has the most Grammy nominations this year with 11, so chances are he’s going to walk away with one. Or two. Or almost all of them. Kendrick has a way of bringing life into every single song he records, whether it be through the inspiring and moving lyrics or multi-genre-infused instrumentals that prove he’s a true artist. With Alright, this has become not just a song but an anthem for millions, and that is the mark of a music icon.

Nominee: Florence + The Machine (Best Pop Duo/Group Performance, Best Pop Vocal Album, Best Rock Performance, Best Rock Song, Best Recording Package)
Song: Hiding

Florence made us wait four long years before releasing a new album, and it was well worth it. How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful has more of an ethereal vibe to it than her previous records, but I’m not complaining. Hiding is actually a bonus track that happens to be one of my favorite tracks so here it is.

Nominee: Miguel (Best R&B Song, Best Urban Contemporary Album)
Song: coffee

Nothing can top Miguel’s Grammy-winning song Adorn – in fact, topping his amazing 2012 album Kaleidoscope Dream is hard too, but coffee is a strong follow up. It channels the same feels from Adorn, but with a little more flair, and I’m so here for it.

Bonus:

Amy Poehler – Yes Please (the audiobook) because SHE’S GRAMMY NOMINEE, AMY POEHLER. I’ve only read the book and not listened to it, but based on this small clip, I want to give her all the Grammys. And because we’re still obsessed with Hamilton and excited about their performance at the show, I’ll also plug one of the many favorites off the album, Non-Stop. I mean that ending, tho.

Molly’s Picks

Nominee:  Hamilton (Best Musical Theatre Album)
Song: Wait For It

There’s no real best or worst tracks from the Hamilton cast recording, because it’s all very, very good. However, Helpless and Wait For It are the two songs that I think stand best on their own – if you aren’t familiar with the musical, don’t like musicals, or are just going to listen to one track instead of taking the whole two-act journey. Both remind me of the best parts of late-90s R&B.

As I write this I realize that Traci will probably pick a song from Hamilton too, but we’re basically a Hamilton blog now so I think that’s appropriate.

Nominee: Alabama Shakes ( Album Of The Year, Best Alternative Music Album, Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical,  Grammy Award for Producer of the Year, Non-Classical )
Song: Don’t Wanna Fight

Here’s a moment you realize you’re getting older: an artist appears on Saturday Night Live and you’ve never heard any of their songs. That was me with Alabama Shakes in 2015. I love the old-school Southern rock and bluesy vocals, mixed with a modern synth sound. Not ALL of their songs are exactly my cup of tea, but you can’t deny that they deserve their place with the other nominees.

Nominee: Taylor Swift
Song: I Wish You Would

I’m probably supposed to be embarrassed about this, but I sort of like Taylor Swift.  I don’t think her live performances are amazing, but she has a better grasp of how to write a really great pop song than most artists out there – in fact, she was under contract as just a songwriter as a teen. New!Taylor also knows who to partner with: I always thought I Wish You Would had sort of a Haim vibe, but it was actually produced with Jack Antonoff (fun) which works, too.

Nominee: James Bay (Best New Artist, Best Rock Album, Best Rock Song)
Song: Hold Back The River

I think James Bay is really excellent and is sort of this year’s Hozier, not that Hozier is going anywhere. I hope he sticks around for a good while and I really think he will. I have copied and pasted three different songs into this list so you really can’t go wrong with the entire album.

Nominee: Kacey Musgraves (Best Country Album)
Song: Biscuits

Kacey Musgraves is the future of country, and I like it. In a lot of ways she’s a throwback to the sassy, non-P.C. country of Loretta Lynn. Heck, one of Kacey’s early songs includes the lyric “my idea of heaven is to burn one with John Prine.” Other than the release of her album, one of Musgraves’ biggest moments in 2015 was performing Follow Your Arrow at an NPR Tiny Desk Concert the day the marriage equality decision came down. I don’t think Pageant Material got as much radio play as it maybe should have on country stations, but it didn’t go overlooked at the Grammys.

Golden Globes 2016 – Best and Worst Dressed

Awards season was off to a (slightly censored) start last night with the Golden Globes, and now that we’re officially promised ceremonies filled with Kate and Leo reunions for the next few weeks, I’d say it’s looking pretty good. Also looking pretty good – a number of the ladies in designer gowns. We’re back to bring you our picks for Best and Worst dressed from the booze-filled ceremony, capes and all.

Best Dressed

Molly’s Picks

Brie Larson in Calvin Klein

Like our 2003 Junior Prom, dresses with cutouts in the midsection are really in – and like our 2003 Junior Prom, just having good abs isn’t enough to pull off the look. Take a closer look at the beading – this is one marvelously well-executed dress and the color is perfect on Brie’s complexion.

Alicia Vikander in Louis Vouitton

To be more specific: I love this on Alicia Vikander- it’s so fresh and minimal it almost looks like a light summer dress instead of a formal gown until you look at how beautifully executed the pleats are. It’s really deceptively simple, but if it were tailored just a bit less well we’d be in pinafore territory: that’s what makes this such a success in my book.

Jaimie Alexander in Genny

The Golden Globes are a bit more playful (read: boozy) than the Oscars, and it’s just the place for a bold geometric pattern like this. I can’t get over how perfect this emerald green color is on Jaime, and I’m almost amazed that the combination of the large pattern and low neckline isn’t over the top. I think the otherwise simple construction keeps it from crossing the line. Good work, Genny. Whoever you are.

Jennifer Lawrence in Dior Haute Couture

Every awards show has one gown that waffles between my best dressed and worst dressed list, and this is the one for Golden Globes 2016. My thought is, Jennifer Lawrence has been a staple at every awards show for the past 4 years, but she’s still young and I’m happy to see her take a few risks. So combining a swing top with cutouts seems like a good thing to do – and good on her for balancing it with simple, classic hair and makeup.

Lily James in Marchesa

Lowkey trend of the past 2 years: capes on the red carpet. But in tulle, it looks new and downright angelic. If this dress were simply white it wouldn’t make my list, but look at it in a few different photos – it’s actually rainbow pastel like Lily is the queen of the unicorns or something.

Traci’s Picks

Jenna Dewan Tatum in Zuhair Murad Couture

After clearly beating her husband at Lip Sync Battle the other night despite it being a tie, Jenna knocked it out of the park again on Sunday with this gorgeous flowing navy blue gown. It gives off serious Starry Night vibes to me, which just makes me think of romance and glamour.

Laverne Cox in Elizabeth Kennedy

When you’re tall and skinny like Laverne a dress like this makes you look like a freaking Grecian goddess. I love that collar, too. She knows how to work this gown.

Olivia Wilde in Michael Kors

Glittery dresses seemed to be in fashion last night, and one of my favorite looks came from this beauty, in a to die crimson colored dress. It fits her body perfectly and I’m loving the complimentary eye makeup. The whole ensemble makes her looks sexy yet sophisticated at the same time.

Jennifer Lopez in Giambattista Valli

I went through a mustard phase a few years ago, and I still stand by it. The color doesn’t look great on everyone, and I don’t think J Lo’s worn a lot of dresses in this color, but she looks great in it. With the Angelina Jolie leg and the Lupita cape, I love all of it.

Taraji P. Henson in Stella McCartney

I judge a lot of my Best/Worst dressed on how the person carries themselves in said gown. If it looks like the dress is wearing you, I’m more apt to put you on the Worst list. If you know how to rock a simple yet stunning gown like Taraji, you’ve made the Best dressed. She came into the ceremony to slay, and even managed to hand out cookies on her way up to get her trophy too.

Bonus: Michael B. Jordan looking fine af.

Worst Dressed

Molly’s Picks

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy

I think it’s supposed to be 1920s fringe meets 1930s Old Hollywood, but I feel like she’s the fanciest barmaid in the whole saloon (not into THIS MUCH fringe, even on someone like Cate Blanchett).

Melissa McCarthy

First of all, she looks absolutely beautiful except for the dress. Second, the dress isn’t exactly her fault – these awards shows really emphasize that a lot of designers don’t know what to do with anyone over a size 6 or so. Third, I still wish Melissa would find a way to stay away from these dresses that look like garbage bags.

Kate Hudson in Michael Kors

Remember when I referenced my 2003 prom talking about Brie Larson? Yeah. This one is actually straight off of an early 2000s prom rack. It reminds me of something Britney Spears or Keira Knightly would have worn 13 years ago, which isn’t soon enough for a revival in my book. The matching choker doesn’t help.

 

Giuliana Rancic in Alex Perry

Take the same dress, give it cap sleeves, and it would be fine (-ish).

 Wiz Khalifa in Thom Browne

Wiz Khalifa looked like he was having a blast, which is great. I just wish he’d take off the sunglasses, wear long pants, and tidy up his tie.

Traci’s Picks

Taylor Schilling in Thakoon

As I mentioned with Taraji, sometimes the outfit wears you instead of the other way around. Taylor made my best dressed both at the 2014 Emmys and 2015 Golden Globes, but I’m not feeling it this year. That blazer – and I know she loves low-cut tops – and the glitter pant combo? Sorry, not for me.

Patricia Arquette in Paule Ka

Instead of putting a bird on it, Patricia misheard and put a *bow* on it.

Jane Fonda in Saint Laurent Paris

Jane Fonda is 78 and has a rockin bod. Remember this electric gown from Cannes last year? While this kind of shows her frame off, that top is not doing her any favors. She looks like the roof of a Spanish style house.

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy

Cate Blanchett – amazing actress, okay red carpet star.

Regina King in Krikor Jabotian

As much as I love a cape, it needs to be utilized in the right fashion. Lupita’s GG cape? Yes. J Lo’s GG cape? Yes. Regina’s sheer fabric ‘cape’? Nope.

 

Live Blog: Golden Globes 2016

Well folks, it’s that time of year again – awards season kicks off Sunday with the Golden Globes! Although it will be spearheaded by Ricky Gervais and not our queens Tina and Amy, we’re still chronicling the event with our live blog starting 8p EST/5p PST (friendly reminder to refresh this page every few minutes or so to see our live post!). Also join us on Twitter here to get up-to-the-second quips and comments!

Preshow:

M: Jaimie Alexander is wearing Genny and looks like a dream, proving that a lot of the times the lesser-known designers make the best showing.

But Eva Longoria is also wearing a lesser-known designer and it’s one of those dresses where I need someone to tell me how I feel about it because I can’t decide.

The show starts in 10 minutes and I’m getting very nervous that we won’t get Kate and Leo in the same frame. Just seat them together, give the people what they want.

Rooney Mara’s braid is so hefty and sturdy it took me a full minute to realize that she’s wearing Cinderella’s dress after the stepsisters rip it.


I don’t mean this as an insult even a bit: Kirsten Dunst just looks right with a Minnesota accent coming out of her mouth. I might be thinking of her American Girl doppelganger, Kristen Larson.

The Golden Globe Awards

M: Ricky Gervais opens with a glass of beer and quips about NBC being impartial (because nothing is nominated), Sean Penn (snitch) and Caitlyn Jenner (not doing much for women drivers).

Some more topics include child molestation and equal pay, we’re all having a blast here!

I want to watch this show in the context of a pajama party with Tina, Amy and a lot of snacks.

Channing Tatum is wearing a terrible undercut like I see on buses and trains a lot. Jonah Hill is wearing a terrible bear hat. I don’t know which is worse. Maybe let’s stop trying to be funny and announce an award.

T: There are more bleeps for this bear than Ricky Gervais’ entire monologue. What in the hell could they be saying.

M: There’s a wind storm here, I thought that was my tv!

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture

Jane Fonda, Youth

Jennifer Jason Leigh, The Hateful Eight

Helen Mirren, Trumbo

Alicia Vikander, Ex Machina

Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

Traci’s Pick: Alicia Vikander, Ex Machina

If you noticed, Alicia Vikander was nominated for two Golden Globes in two separate categories, so she’s clearly a favorite either way. But I think this movie will take the cake.

Molly’s Pick: Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

I’ve heard good things about her in this one.

Winner: Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

M: Kate. We don’t have to Taylor Swift it here, Kate. You win things sometimes.

T: BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS. WHERE IS LEO. This moment is also reminiscent of the time she won and was saying, ‘Composure’ to herself (or something like that). *Update – it was ‘Gather’, when she won for Revolutionary Road A MOVIE WITH LEO.

M: YES. I watched the whole time she was walking up to the stage waiting for Leo to pop up.

~*NVR 4GET*~

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Limited-Series, or TV Movie

Uzo Aduba, Orange is the New Black

Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey

Regina King, American Crime

Judith Light, Transparent

Maura Tierney, The Affair

Traci’s Pick: Regina King, American Crime

I’m voting for the person who would give a great speech. Uzo follows closely behind.

Molly’s Pick: Uzo Aduba, Orange Is The New Black

Winner: Maura Tierney, The Affair

T: Oh man. 0 for 2 already. I’m off to a great start!

M: I almost picked her! If I’d known she was going to wear glasses tonight I would have. Very Serious Actress.

Maura Tierney just called herself a “four eyes,” like she’s Karen Brewer and and this is a Baby Sitter’s Little Sister Super Special.

T: Every time I see the crawls on the bottom of the screen promoting a new NBC show, it reminds me of that Community bit:

Best Actress in a TV Series, Comedy

Rachel Bloom, Crazy Ex Girlfriend

Jamie Lee Curtis, Scream Queens

Julia Louis Dreyfus, Veep

Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin

Lily Tomlin, Grace & Frankie

Traci’s Pick: Julia Louis Dreyfus, Veep

But really, Amy Poehler.

Molly’s Pick: Julia Louis Dreyfus, Veep

It seems like JLV wins every time nobody else is the clear favorite.

Winner: Rachel Bloom, Crazy Ex Girlfriend

M: NO WAY. I think she’s incredible in Crazy Ex Girlfriend but I never thought it was even on the radar.

T: The HFPA loves newcomers! Should I watch Crazy Ex Girlfriend tho?

M: You’d really like it!

T: Judging on that freeze frame Rachel just did at the end of her speech, I’d have to agree.

Best TV Series, Comedy

Casual

Mozart in the Jungle

Orange Is the New Black

Silicon Valley

Transparent

Veep

Traci’s Pick: Mozart in the Jungle

It’s worth noting that none of these shows are on a major network, which says a lot about the content that’s being created outside of the Big 5. Anyways, I think Veep had another excellent season, and I recently binged all of Casual, yet I have a feeling neither of those will win. Mozart in the Jungle is my pick, just because it’s weird enough. Is it weird? IDK, I’m assuming bc Gael Garcia Bernal is in it.

Molly’s Pick: Transparent

It’s really good, although I agree that Veep had a great season awards voters usually love voting for the first season of shows.

Winner: Mozart In The Jungle

M: I don’t even know what the premise is. Is there Mozart, even? Or a real jungle? Also what sort of weird order are these awards in.

T: The Mozart is the conductor… the jungle is… the venue.?

M: That’s some kind of bullshit.

M: Everything I think I know about Carol is actually from that Tina Fey/Amy Poehler sketch where Kenan is directing them to act like it’s The Jeffersons.

M: There’s really no In Memorium? I love it. I will listen to any old foreign man they want to bring out to the stage.

T: I could’ve sworn they’ve done it before! Also this dude is like Roberto Benigni’s older brother. Or he’s just Italian.

T: Ooooooohhh that was a low blow to Batfleck! But also probs true?

M: Oh, it’s absolutely true.

Best TV Movie or Limited-Series

American Crime

American Horror Story: Hotel

Fargo

Flesh and Bone

Wolf Hall

Traci’s Pick: Fargo

I heard Landry was good in it. Relatedly – should I watch Flesh and Bone? And American Crime?

Molly’s Pick: Fargo

Winner: Wolf Hall

M:  I don’t know what Wolf Hall is.

T: What is happening?? Wolf Hall is the sequel to Homeland, in which Brody is alive.

Best Actor in a Limited-Series or TV Movie

Idris Elba, Luther

Oscar Isaac, Show Me a Hero

David Oyelowo, Nightingale

Mark Rylance, Wolf Hall

Patrick Wilson, Fargo

Traci’s Pick: Idris Elba, Luther

It would be great if it was a tie between my bb Idris and the Internet’s new BF Oscar, but people love Luther.

Molly’s Pick: Patrick Wilson, Fargo

Winner: Oscar Isaac

T: Ughhh I was going to pick him too!! FOR THE RECORD: OSCAR ISSAC HAS BEEN SLAYING SINCE INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS. #Smokeshow

M: Yeah, he has, but this is the month we all got crushes on him, though, right? And by “we all” I mean both the internet and the HFPA.

T: Guys, it’s true. The Internet loves Oscar Isaac.

M: Tom Ford and Lady Gaga – if this isn’t a wardrobe category I’ll be disappointed. Wait, does Golden Globes even have those though? I want to say no.

T: Yeah, they do not. Unfortunately.

T: Alan Cumming werk those glasses.

M: He is such an adorable person.

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Limited-Series or TV Movie

Alan Cumming, The Good Wife

Damian Lewis, Wolf Hall

Ben Mendelsohn, Bloodline

Tobias Menzies, Outlander

Christian Slater, Mr. Robot

Traci’s Pick: Damian Lewis, Wolf Hall

Has anyone else finished this season of Homeland? It’s actually really good. Damian Lewis is still *SPOILER ALERT* dead.

Molly’s Pick: Alan Cumming, The Good Wife

I just really like him! (And no, I hadn’t seen this season of Homeland. Ahem. JK I haven’t seen an episode, that meant nothing to me).

Winner: Christian Slater

M: My concept of Christian Slater is frozen in like 1993, when I’d read about him in my sister’s 17 Magazines.

T: Christian Slater just gave Leo a handshake on his way up and that’s all I care about.

M: Oh, so Leo is WITHIN HANDSHAKE DISTANCE OF THE STAGE, KATE.

T: BITCH MISSED HER CHANCE. GIVE THE SHIPPERS WHAT THEY WANT.

someone actually made this

M: Oh great, there’s an adaptation of War and Peace coming out. Can’t wait! (JK never been into it.)

T: Jamie Foxx’s daughter is Miss Golden Globes this year, and I’d like to say that’s why he’s hamming it up right now, but let’s be real. He’s always like this.

M: Ugh Jamie you are EXHAUSTING. He just “read” Straight Outta Compton on the card, then held the real card up for all of us to read before announcing it. YOUR DAUGHTER IS EMBARRASSED.

T: Bless Lily James. What a delightful creature who has to deal with Jamie Foxx rn.

T: UGH QUENTIN. STOP I CANNOT WITH YOU. Nobody asked for this. Ennio’s name was on the envelope. IDEC that he’s not there.

M: Like 25% of the audience is making the face we are right now, and the other 75% want to but can’t because of face surgeries and injections.

T: Is Jane Fonda’s husband/boyfriend/male companion awake?

T: Yo, Jamie def just threw shade at Quentin for using the term “ghetto”. I knew he was going to get shit for that.

Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama

Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Rami Malek, Mr. Robot

Wagner Moura, Narcos

Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul

Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan

Traci’s Pick: Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Jon Hamm always and forever, both at awards shows and in my heart.

Molly’s Pick: Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Just give him a farewell Golden Globe, why don’t you?

Winner: Jon Hamm

T: I lit’rally just started clapping to myself for Hamm. Get it done sir… “Thanks for not taking my advice and ending the entire series on Chumbawumba. You picked the right song.” WHY DIDN’T MORE PEOPLE LAUGH AT THIS JOKE

T: A-Schu and J-Law is the best presenter match-up since Wiig & Ferrell in ’13

M: Love Amy’s celebrity couple names: Amy-Tom Ford. Amy-All The Hemsworthes. Fav celeb friendship, right there.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

Christian Bale, The Big Short

Steve Carell, The Big Short

Matt Damon, The Martian

Al Pacino, Danny Collins

Mark Ruffalo, Infinitely Polar Bear

Traci’s Pick: Matt Damon, The Martian

I honestly don’t know anymore – I haven’t seen any of these movies.

Molly’s Pick: Steve Carell, The Big Short

What the heck even is Infinitely Polar Bear? Sounds like a fake band name.

Winner: Matt Damon, The Martian

M: Honestly,  I should have picked him. But WHO IS AT TABLE 10? (Probably people from his movie, but.)

T: I haven’t seen The Martian, but honestly is it a comedy? Kristen Wiig and Donald Glover were in it, so yeah?

T: IT’S BEEN 18 YEARS SINCE GOOD WILL HUNTING??

M: NO WAY. It’s been AN ENTIRE ADULT PERSON since Good Will Hunting.

Also, Matt Damon, paraphrased: “Oh, I just make little movies nobody sees, la la la.”

Best Animated Feature Film

Anomalisa


The Good Dinosaur


Inside Out


The Peanuts Movie

Shaun the Sheep Movie

Traci’s Pick: Inside Out

*screams with tears* INSIDE OUT IS A FILM FOR ADULTS

Molly’s Pick: Inside Out

Why yes, I HAVE cried just thinking about it.

Winner: Inside Out

M: “Growing up is really hard and that’s a worthy subject to make a movie about” – best elevator pitch for an animated film, ever.

T: So technically Amy Poehler just won another Golden Globe, is how I just took this.

T: People are yelling “WOOWWWW” to Ryan Gosling & Brad Pitt on stage together, which, I mean is completely fair. ALSO BRAD IS ACTUALLY BENJAMIN BUTTON-ING

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture

Paul Dano, Love & Mercy

Idris Elba, Beasts of No Nation

Mark Rylance, Bridge of Spies

Michael Shannon, 99 Homes

Sylvester Stallone, Creed

Traci’s Pick: Sylvester Stallone, Creed

Ok I DID see two of these, including my bae Idris and Sly in Creed. Like I said before, HFPA has a sweet spot for veteran Hollywood stars, so they’ll want to give this to Rocky.

Molly’s Pick: Idris Elba, Beasts of No Nation

No clue. I just like looking at him.

Winner: Sylvester Stallone, Creed

M: Rocky films should win every award just because the music is so good for walking up to the podium.

T: This moment is why the HFPA votes for people like Sylvester Stallone. Everyone gives him a standing ovation because they know he deserves it for his career *not* just for Creed. Also, good publicity for the org. But I mean, he was great in the movie.

M: I’ve never seen any of the Rocky movies … I used to live like a 2 minute walk from the Rocky steps in Philly so the closest I’ve been them is watching tourists pose at the top. Still, he seems like such a stand-up guy (and they’re on my to-watch list I swear).

T: Mark Wahlberg hates that he has to do these bits, probably.

M: I might hate that he has to, too.

T: I feel like a writer found those 2016 glasses in the corner of the writers’ room and was like, ‘I mean I guess we could do a joke about these?’ That writer was Carrot Top.

T: UPDATE – LEO SAID THIS ON THE RED CARPET. OBVIOUSLY ABOUT KATE.

M: OTP.

T: Where even is Kate? Stop doing press and get back with Leo.

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture

Emma Donoghue, Room

Tom McCarthy, Josh Singer, Spotlight

Charles Randolph, Adam McKay, The Big Short

Aaron Sorkin, Steve Jobs

Quentin Tarantino, The Hateful Eight

Traci’s Pick: Tom McCarthy, Josh Singer, Spotlight

I need to see Spotlight.

Molly’s Pick: Tom McCarthy, Josh Singer, Spotlight

I haven’t seen Room, but I read the book and I’m secretly pulling for Emma Donoghue because it was great (also because I’d like her, Saoirse Ronan, and Caitriona Balfe to pull a massive sweep for Ireland).

Winner: Aaron Sorkin, Steve Jobs

M: While they were announcing this, I amended my wish to “anything but Quentin Tarantino”. Didn’t want to listen to him again.

T: SPEAKING OF PROPS. AZIZ WITH A BOOK TITLED ‘HOW TO LOSE TO JEFFREY TAMBOR WITH DIGNITY’ Like he legit had that made specifically for this moment. Praise. 

Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy

Aziz Ansari, Master of None

Gael Garcia Bernal, Mozart in the Jungle

Rob Lowe, The Grinder

Patrick Stewart, Blunt Talk

Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Traci’s Pick: Gael Garcia Bernal, Mozart in the Jungle

Thought process: he’s foreign> the Globes are decided by Hollywood Foreign Press> Gael.

Molly’s Pick: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

I always have a Dylan McDermott/Dermot Mulroney thing with Gael Garcia Bernal and Gabriel Garcia Marquez (except even more confusing because one is a Mexican actor and one’s a Colombian novelist).

Winner: Gael Garcia Bernal, Mozart in the Jungle

M: Really did think it would be Jeffrey Tambor!

T: Well, clearly my thought process has been validated.

T: FUCKING FINALLY

M: As far as I’m concerned we can all go to bed now.

T: I honestly forgot Ricky was hosting.

M: The latest joke (that Brad and Angelina will want to adopt Kevin Hart and Ken Jeong) goes over better than most of them have.

Best Actress in a Limited-Series or TV Movie

Kirsten Dunst, Fargo

Lady Gaga, American Horror Story: Hotel

Sarah Hay, Flesh & Bone

Felicity Huffman, American Crime

Queen Latifah, Bessie

Traci’s Pick:  Lady Gaga, American Horror Story: Hotel

I think the HFPA just want a reason to help Gaga EGOT.

Molly’s Pick: Kirsten Dunst, Fargo

She should win, anyway. She was incredible.

Winner: Lady Gaga, American Horror Story: Hotel

T: I’m gonna be honest with you I’m crying. I’ve never even seen the show.

M: I’ve only seen clips but I wasn’t impressed … and I STG Kirsten Dunst was amazing in Fargo.

T: IT IS SO QUIET IN THE BALLROOM BC HOLLYWOOD DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO REACT.

M: Gaga. You seem like a sweet enough person but nobody has to thank Ryan Murphy.

T: ALSO – GAGA KNOCKED LEO’S ARM AND HE REACTED IN A WAY THAT IS… I’M READY FOR THE GIF.


M: Have they been letting her talk for the past like 15 minutes? Gaga says she’s “truly speechless” but I don’t know, that was a lot of talking, Stefani.

M: If Zooey Deschanel’s going to grow out her bangs and part them in the middle and Katy Perry’s going to cut hers shorter and part them in the middle, eventually they’re going to merge and none of us will know the difference.

T: Sam Smith is snatching that EGOT. Get. it.

T: For those keeping track – in the past 15 minutes, Lady Gaga and Sam Smith won Golden Globes, and Katy Perry presented with a Bump It in her hair (seriously). Welcome to 2016.

M: I’ve forgotten to keep track of which celebs seem drunk and which seem high, but if I were there I’d be grabbing Ricky’s drink off the podium to get through this event.

T: “I love seeing Ricky every three years because it reminds me to get a colonoscopy.” What are the odds Mel hired a team of writers for that come back? Like in 2013? And they’ve been working on it ever since?

M: I just said “oh, no” out loud during the Mad Max segment because I’m afraid when it gets nominated for an Oscar I’m going to feel like I have to see it.

T: Ugh same.

Best TV Series, Drama

Empire

Game of Thrones

Mr. Robot

Narcos

Outlander

Traci’s Pick: Mr. Robot

My strategy has been and always will be ‘pick the weirdest, buzziest show/star to win the Golden Globes’. Mr. Robot is loved by critics and TV nerds. If any other show were to win, it might be Game of Thrones, but, like Molly, I’ve never seen it and it’s our best guess as to what’s going on in that show.

Molly’s Pick: Game of Thrones

Although since this is for season 1 of Empire, I’d like to see it win (season 2… nah).

Winner: Mr. Robot

M: Traci, can you explain what this is even about in a few words, because I have no clue?

T: Hackers. Internet. Christian Slater.

M: Hmm. I think I already have enough shows. Thanks.

T: Same. ALSO I just put it together than Emmy Rossum’s fiance is the creator/EP of Mr. Robot?

M: When did Emmy Rossum become the establishment, anyway?

T: …. Phantom? Shameless? I’m out.

M: Yeah gotta be Shameless. I feel like the only person who saw Phantom.

T: Just the two of us. *cut to Will Smith*

T: Give Tom Hanks an Emmy for this Denzel Washington impression. And for that whole speech.

T: HE GOT GAME WAS SO GOOD. I mean, all of Denzel’s movies, but also like, that one. Also also, there was a time when I met Denzel Washington and I always forget I did that.

M: I always forget you did too!

T: YOOOOOO IS THIS DENZEL’S SON (also i love that he brought his fam up)

M: Yeah I called Denzel’s adult children ‘adorable’ during the preshow and I stand by it 100%.

M: Denzel’s wife helping him read his writing like they’re all of our moms and dads instead of special, beautiful people, I love it.

M: Why doesn’t anyone in this crowd quiet down when someone starts talking? Waiting for a presenter to pull the teacher thing where they stand up there and say “I’ll wait” then stare at you.

T: Breaking: “What the fuck does sugartits even mean?” -Gervais to Gibson.

(btw: “What do you think you’re looking at, sugar tits?” – Mel Gibson to female police officer during 2006 DUI arrest)

M: What’s the point of this ‘banter’ that gets censored anyway? [but yes. What DOES sugartits even mean?]

T: According to Urban Dictionary (the go-to reference for 25+ humans)

  1. Describing a female with a deligtfully sweet bosom; a delicious pair of breasts.

“What do you think you’re looking at, sugar tits?” said the inebriated Mel Gibson to the arresting deputy.

M: I have obviously been watching this soulless awards show too long because that almost sounded sweet. (Except the Mel Gibson part.)

Best Director – Motion Picture

Todd Haynes, Carol

Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu, The Revenant

Tom McCarthy, Spotlight

George Miller, Mad Max

Ridley Scott, The Martian

Traci’s Pick: Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu, The Revenant

Thought process: he’s foreign> the Globes are decided by Hollywood Foreign Press> Leo.

Molly’s Pick: George Miller, Mad Max

Sometimes the HFPA goes for the director of these more “genre” films, so why not. But Inarritu is probably a better guess.

Winner: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, The Revenant

M: This also means I’ll probably feel like I have to see The Revenant, and I love Leo and I like nature OK but I’m just not interested.

Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama

Caitriona Balfe, Outlander

Viola Davis, How to Get Away With Murder

Eva Green, Penny Dreadful

Taraji P. Henson, Empire

Robin Wright, House of Cards

Traci’s Pick: Taraji P. Henson, Empire

Give this woman an award already.

Molly’s Pick: Taraji P. Henson, Empire

Again, especially because we’re talking about season 1. But if Caitriona Balfe wants to win the Irish trifecta I wouldn’t complain.

Winner: Taraji P. Henson, Empire

M: Did she bake these cookies or order them from a bakery because either scenario is adorable.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy

Jennifer Lawrence, Joy

Melissa McCarthy, Spy


Amy Schumer, Trainwreck



Maggie Smith, Lady in the Van


Lily Tomlin, Grandma

Traci’s Pick: Amy Schumer, Trainwreck

It’s going to be a tough call between the BFFs in the category, but I’m giving the edge to Amy, since the HFPA tends to like newcomers with a lot of buzz and really old people/Hollywood veterans.

Molly’s Pick: Maggie Smith, Lady in the Van

Who could ever choose between any of these ladies?

Winner: Jennifer Lawrence, Joy

M: … with Amy Schumer starting a standing ovation like a true pal.

T: Love it. But also maybe should’ve been a tie between them!

M: How I know I’m getting old: I look at celebs already well into their 20s (Jennifer Lawrence) and think things like “I’m so proud of how she’s growing up!”

T: “Welcome back to the Golden Globes, here is Tobey Maguire” aka remember this guy?? He used to be relevant once upon a time.”

T: Lit’rally four people in a row referenced Tobey & Leo’s “Pussy Posse” on Twitter rn.

M: Never forget. Even if you want to, you can’t.

M: The disconnect between Jim Carey’s head hair and beard hair textures is really throwing me off.

M: New theory: the round tables at the Golden Globes make it really awkward because half of the people have to either turn their chairs or sit sideways, so the most important people get the locations where you get to sit facing the stage.

T: Next thing you know, the censor’s going to bleep out the winner for Best Motion Picture, Drama

Best Motion Picture, Comedy

The Big Short

Joy

The Martian

Spy

Trainwreck

Traci’s Pick: The Big Short

The Big Short is critically acclaimed, but so is Trainwreck. The Globes are usually an indicator of who’s going to win the Oscars, so my bet is that Amy Schumer’s not going to win an Oscar any time soon (as much as I would love her to).

Molly’s Pick:  Joy

I saw Joy, and I guess I chuckled a few times but it wasn’t really a *comedy* in the same way Trainwreck was. Awards shows eat that shit up.

Winner: The Martian

M: As far as I’m concerned, the nominees were two comedies and three movies where maybe you chuckle a few times.

Martian “began with a very smart book.” You know, like ALL the best comedies.

T: I’ve checked out, Ridley Scott. Unless you’re going to burst out into song from Avenue Q in this speech, this film was not a musical nor a comedy.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama

Cate Blanchett, Carol

Brie Larson, Room

Rooney Mara, Carol

Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn

Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl

Traci’s Pick: Brie Larson, Room

I only hear great things about Brie Larson in this movie, so I’m going with her, even though I secretly want Saoirse Ronan to win because I could listen to her talk for days.

Molly’s Pick: Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl

I think Brie Larson and Alicia Vikander are the most buzz-y this year. But Cate Blanchett has a good shot if the voters go for the establishment. I also secretly want Saoirse Ronan to win, though. I just love her.

Winner: Brie Larson, Room

M: For the record, I have been watching my television for three and a half hours and haven’t heard Saoirse Ronan speak ONCE. Didn’t even know she was there til now. Anyway congrats, Brie.

T: She spoke on E! earlier and it was the highlight of the pre-show.

M: I’ve really got to get cable.

T: Brie Larson is such a delight! Before the show, she said she talked to Emma Stone who gave her a pep talk and said, “You’re gonna have the best time – you’re inside the TV!”. This is the type of speech I’m into.

M: Yes, everyone take a page from her book!

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama


Bryan Cranston, Trumbo


Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant


Michael Fassbender, Steve Jobs


Eddie Redmayne, The Danish Girl


Will Smith, Concussion

Traci’s Pick: Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant

Molly’s Pick: Eddie Redmayne, The Danish Girl

Unless he’s So Last Awards season.

Winner: Leonardo DiCaprio

T: YASSSSSSSSSS WHERE IS KATE. WHERE IS KATE. WHERE IS KATE.

M: YAYYY! But does this mean he’ll be even more cursed for the Oscars? Can they please show Kate? SHOW KATE.

IS KATE OKAY. WHERE IS SHE.

T: MAYBE SHE’S PASSED OUT BC THE LOVE OF HER LIFE JUST WON A GOLDEN GLOBE.

M: Yeah maybe she’s hidden behind a camera taking pics for her scrapbook.

T: Kate is at Eddie Redmayne’s table (I THINK) so like, just PAN OVER.

M: THANK KATE. I don’t care that she wasn’t in this.

T: I THOUGHT WHEN HE SAID “LASTLY” THAT IT WAS GOING TO END WITH “KATE WINSLET, WHO HAS BEEN WITH ME AND IN MY HEART SINCE 1996.”

M: I SAW. DID YOU SEE.

T: NO UGH I WAS LOOKING FOR LEO GIFS

M: He thanked the makeup artist or something and you could see a fuzzy Kate Winslet calling out a “woo!” so I like to think she was there just cheering at every damn thing he said.

T: I REWOUND IT. THIS IS THE GREATEST.

M: I know! Now I can picture her applauding throughout the entire speech.

T: Let’s just take a mo to remember when Kate professed her love for Leo (and kept saying “Gather” to herself) at the Globes a few years ago:

Best Motion Picture, Drama

Carol

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Revenant

Room

Spotlight

Traci’s Pick: Spotlight

Spotlight’s been picking up a lot of steam this awards season, but if any film is a close runner-up, it’s going to be Mad Max: Fury Road. Both of these movies I have not seen.

Molly’s Pick: Spotlight

It seems like the most likely candidate. I also haven’t seen it.

Winner: The Revenant

T: Well, I was going to see this anyways, but ok.

M: Usually the keywords “epic biographical Western” would put me off it, but for Leo, okay.

T: If we can’t listen to Saoirse, I’d listen to Alejandro.

M: Too bad, because I think they cut him off. Meanwhile we had to listen to a 5-minute speech for an award Quentin Tarantino didn’t even win.

T: Hollywood, amirite?

M: I legit almost ended with “that’s Hollywood” with a shrug-face emoji.

T: “From myself and Mel Gibson, shalom” Oh boy drag him, Ricky.

M: If for no other reason than sticking it to Mel Gibson, I think Ricky did an OK job.

T: Agreed. And now we all have Sugartits back in our vocabulary in 2016, so thank you.

Goodnight from our sugartits to yours (no? not using it right? need to look up the definition again?) and be sure to come back tomorrow for our Best and Worst Dressed post. Thanks for reading!

Live Blog: Golden Globes 2015

Happy Golden Globes day, friends! We look forward to this day every year, for a few reasons. It kicks off the start of awards season, it mixes the Hollywood elite with the charming folks of television, there is drinking involved, and for the past two years, our queens Amy and Tina have been the glorious hosts.

Also, if you want to follow along, fill out our handy dandy C+S Golden Globes ballot by clicking here!!

T: I’M ALREADY CRYING AS SOON AS AMY AND TINA APPEAR ON THE RED CARPET.

T: Hi Emily Blunt is gorge but why is JKras avoiding the interview??

T: I am dying over Amal Clooney’s white gloves, y’all. Like when is someone making a Twitter account for this? Also, when Ryan Seacrest asked who her gloves were by she said, “They’re my own.” OF COURSE THEY ARE.

M: YES. You can almost see Amal thinking “this is all very cute, but just so you all know, I have a REAL job.” Except more gracious.

T: She’s so much better than this. The woman wore a Dior Haute Couture gown because, and I quote, “In solidarity with the French people who have gone through a terrible week.” Like, you’re a better person than everyone on this carpet.

M: My over-the-top love for Amal Clooney finally makes me understand how baby boomer women feel about George Clooney.

T: Agreed. And mine is a newer love for her, kinda like the time everyone was freaking out about Kate Middleton and their wedding and I was all WTF she’s just human then I started watching it and next thing you know I’m up at 4am watching it and DVRing every possible special on their matrimony.

M: I tuned in around 7:30 only to be greeted by Emma Stone’s brother(?) wearing a men’s headband (headman-d?) and chewing gum. Queue my memory of our Italian high school Spanish teacher – got that? – telling us that chewing gum makes you look like a horse.

M: Reese Witherspoon is wearing a pretty silver number and walking with real-life Wild. Okay, not sure what her name is. Anyway you know how usually in biopics the actor is a significantly more attractive version of whoever they’re playing? Not here! Wild is really pretty.

M: Please, just one time, can Jennifer Aniston just say screw it and show up with The Rachel?

M: Lupita Nyong’o. Human flower petal. Jeeeez.

T: So clearly, if you watched the E! Red Carpet, Guliana’s love for George Clooney has pushed her to drinking multiple shots of his tequila and now she’s shitfaced. She’s the girl who you can tells is trying super hard to concentrate but is completely gone.

M: Also, Guliana is saying “selfie” like my parents do. Like, you can hear the quotes around it. Like it’s on this week’s vocab quiz.

M: Melissa McCarthy… first of all, beautiful. Second of all, sort of Annie Hall meets caterer or All-County Chorus? Maybe I’ll like it more tomorrow. Hair and face-wise, she’s looking amazing though.

T: Honestly though, as it gets closer to the beginning of the Golden Globes, I feel like a little kid on Christmas Day, but instead of opening presents, we’re opening the pure joy and delight of Tina and Amy.

T: THE QUEENS ARE ALREADY IN THEIR SECOND OUTFITS FOR THE NIGHT! Amy said on the red carpet, “We have about 50 outfit changes and 10 emotional changes”.

T: I don’t think I have seen Wes Anderson before? Maybe? Either way, yeah that’s what he should look like. Even his velour black tie is askew.

 

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie

Uzo Aduba, Orange Is The New Black
Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Freak Show
Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey
Allison Janney, Mom
Michelle Monaghan, True Detective

Molly’s Pick: Uzo Aduba
Is it even a question?

Traci’s Pick: Uzo Aduba, Orange Is The New Black
Uzo Aduba all day son. All friggin day.

WINNER: Joanne Froggatt

M: Anna had a hell of a season and all but I never thought Joanne Froggatt would have won.

T: Me either. I lit’rally said out loud: WHAT?!

M: Aw, she seems sweet. So I’m not TOO mad about Crazy Eyes.

M: Yes, Jennifer Lopez. We KNOW. You wear dresses like that.

Best Mini-Series Or TV Movie

Fargo
The Missing
The Normal Heart
True Detective
Olive Kitteridge

Molly’s Pick: The Normal Heart
I should probably watch True Detective, right?

Traci’s Pick: True Detective
For the record, I want The Normal Heart to win all the awards.

WINNER: Fargo

M: So, is Twitter alight with ‘Golden Globes’ jokes re: J. Lo’s boobs? Because those suckers are SPHERICAL.
…and I was typing that her co presenter Jeremy Renner just made one.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie

Martin Freeman, Fargo
Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart
Billy Bob Thornton, Fargo
Matthew McConaughey, True Detective
Woody Harrelson, True Detective

Molly’s Pick: Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart
Because I don’t think you should have to listen to a McConaughey acceptance speech unless you’re stoned.

Traci’s Pick: Matthew McConaughey, True Detective
Oblig McConissance, Alright x3, Time is a Flat Circle, etc.

WINNER: Billy Bob Thornton

M: This is that time every year or two when we all remember that Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie used to be a thing, and she wore his blood in a vial around her neck. I remember THAT but it’s a crisis every time I have to remember where my phone charger is.

M: If you missed the bit with the “North Korean journalist” and Meryl taking an iPhoto with a magazine so the show could continue… Check tumblr. I’m sure there will be a gif by the time we post this.

M: When they announce Lena Dunham’s nomination, all I can look at is the plate of tiny, beautiful cookies on her table. Oscars are classier but the Globes are definitely the show I’d want to be at.

T: MY EYES WENT TO THE COOKIES TOO.

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series – Comedy Or Musical

Lena Dunham, Girls
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin
Taylor Schilling, Orange Is The New Black

Molly’s Pick: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
What I really want is an acceptance speech written in the voice of Selina Meyer.

Traci’s Pick: Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin
Remember when Andy Samberg won last year? And everyone was like WTF (even tho I love him)? I feel like Gina is the wildcard this year to illicit the same reaction.

WINNER: Gina Rodriguez

T: Guys, I’m crying, and I don’t even watch Jane the Virgin.

M: I’m not just tearing up I am straight up CRYING. I mean to watch it, if that counts.

Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy

Girls
Jane the Virgin
Orange Is The New Black
Silicon Valley
Transparent

Molly’s Pick: Orange Is The New Black
How have we never discussed our mutual love of Poussey Washington?

Traci’s Pick: Orange Is The New Black
#PousseyWashingtonFTW

WINNER: Transparent

M: So, Transparent winning might be that extra push I need to finally subscribe to Amazon Prime.

T: LAWD THE TEARS AREN’T STOPPING. I didn’t realize this year’s Golden Globes was an episode of Parenthood.

M: YOU AREN’T KIDDING. Again, don’t even watch Transparent. This year’s Golden Globes scores a five on a scale from one to five Crying Dawsons.

5 crying dawsons

M: I even saw St. Vincent, yet every time they mention it I expect to see the musician by the same name.

T: Melissa McCarthy used her fashion skills to take the skirt from an old gown and mix it with that collared white top to make her dress tonight. I can barely sew up a hole in my leggings.

M: I have a shirt where the seams are ripping and I’m like “alright, we’ve had a good run, enjoy your new home at the Goodwill drop off shed.”

T: Johann Johannson (best name of the night, tbh) is from Iceland and for some reason I expected him to come out speaking like the Swedish chef. #typicalamerican

M: Yeah, and I also expect that everything he says will be all quirky and Bjorky. False advertising, Iceland Travel Bureau.

T: WTF Prince? Even Allison Janney was like fangirling and completely confused as to why he’s there.

M: The nominees in the original song category, though! Patti Smith?! Between that and Prince I’m caring way more about this category than I expected to.

Is Common the first person to thank God yet? That’s my favorite awards show trope. But his speech is great! Also, I was listening to the speech but hadn’t looked up at the screen yet, and I thought John Legend was speaking, and let me tell you, seeing Common when you’re expecting to see John Legend is a weird sort of jolt.

M: Joey Potter bought a LOT of hair to wear tonight. Also, I cannot see her without remembering Tina Fey’s story about how she said she was a good tap dancer, and was not. Hope they had a dance off backstage!

T: Reminder that BOTH Joey and Pacey are at the Golden Globes right now.

M: I’m going to need a picture. #OTP

f30c0-photoapr1311154am

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie

Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart
Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
Colin Hanks, Fargo
Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge
Jon Voight, Ray Donovan

Molly’s Pick: Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing.

Traci’s Pick: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge
Again, The Normal Heart, all day every day, but Bill Murray is one of those people like Ellen Burstyn that is iconic enough that people will vote for him.

WINNER: Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart

M: YAY! Well, there go the waterworks.

T: Matt Bomer and The Normal Heart haven’t won enough awards, IMO.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical

Amy Adams, Big Eyes
Emily Blunt, Into the Woods
Helen Mirren, The Hundred-Foot Journey
Julianne Moore, Map to the Stars
Quvenzhane Wallis – Annie

Molly’s Pick: Emily Blunt, Into The Woods
Amy Adams was great in Big Eyes, but I’ve never seen the Baker’s Wife be so lovable and funny and just fantastic.

Traci’s Pick: Emily Blunt, Into the Woods
I was just so enchanted with Emily Blunt in Into the Woods. I mean I’m always enchanted by her (and J Kras as a couple), but even more so in this film. Like everyone else, I didn’t know she could sing, and mix that with her excellent acting skills, she’s a standout in the movie.

WINNER: Amy Adams

M: Dude, “Quevenjohnny?” NOPE.

T: Yeah, still saying it wrong, man.

M: Yay! While I would have loved to see Emily Blunt win, Amy Adams was incredible in Big Eyes. My only qualm is that it didn’t read as a “comedy,” really. If we want to talk about comedic roles this year, I think the best might have been Jenny Slate in Obvious Child. Just understated and lovely.

M: We’re now at the Little Miss Nepotism portion of the evening (Miss Golden Globe, the child of a famous person, who does nothing).

Best Animated Feature Film

Big Hero 6
The Book Of Life
The Boxtrolls
How To Train Your Dragon 2
The LEGO Movie

Molly’s Pick: The LEGO Movie

I liked Big Hero 6 a lot, but the two nephews I went with (ages 5 and 3) hated it. Like, they were traumatized not by the movie but by the depth of their own hatred for it.

Traci’s Pick: The LEGO Movie

EVERYTHING IS AWESOMEEE

WINNER: How To Train Your Dragon 2

M: I’m of the mind that nothing with “2” at the end of the title should ever receive an award.

T: Ahem *Sister Act 2*

M: Point taken. His eye really WAS on that sparrow. All the awards.

M: I have so much trouble remembering which one is Kate Hudson and which is Katherine Heigl.

M: Jared Leto’s hairline and eyes are so perfect and even that he looks like a limited-edition doll from the Ashton Drake galleries.

Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
Jessica Chastain, A Most Violent Year
Keira Knightley, The Imitation Game
Emma Stone, Birdman
Meryl Streep, Into the Woods

Molly’s Pick: Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
Admittedly I haven’t seen A Most Violent Year, so Jessica Chastain could be a dark horse here.

Traci’s Pick: Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
This gal has been racking up awards this season, so unless Meryl pulls a Meryl, Patricia’s got this in the bag.

WINNER: Patricia Arquette

M: Whenever a celebrity thanks their kids, their names just sound like random sounds.

T: Patricia Arquette also has odd yet not Banjo odd kid names. Ugh, celebrities.

M: Yeah, not like fruit name-odd. Hey, everyone. As in all things, when naming a human being, be more like Meryl, Tina and Amy.

T: I just watched The Skeleton Twins the other day, and if you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you put it on your Netflix queue. Bill and Kristen are delightful and will make you laugh and cry. Who doesn’t want that in their life?

M: Seconded. It’s the perfect mix of laughing and crying. Joke with a tiny target audience: ” Kristen Wiig graduated from Brighton but she’s looking more Aquinas tonight… RIGHT?” (See, Kristen Wiig is from our hometown, and everyone at our high school was really tan all the time, whereas her school… Whatever. She’s TAN. OKAY?)

T: CLASSIC AQ V. BRIGHTON JOKE.

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture

Birdman
Boyhood
Gone Girl
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Imitation Game

Molly’s Pick: The Imitation Game

Traci’s Pick: Birdman
I haven’t seen Birdman, but sure, they’ve been winning a lot, so add this one to the trophy case too.

WINNER: Birdman

T: Oh my, Alejandro Inarritu’s accent is fantastic. He did the thing where people add an ‘s’ to the end of words, like “Thank you to Amy Ryans”. So glad he’s a frontrunner so we can experience more of his speeches in the next few months.

M: My favorite use of the superfluous S is in the movie Selena, because screw it, let’s just keep dating ourselves here. Selenasssss.

M: I was going to write something about Lily Tomlin but I put my cursor down and the only words I could form were LILY TOMLIN. Lily Tomlin. I feel about my childhood comedy heroes the way other people feel about Mr. Rogers or their first really great teacher.

T: Jane Fonda – proving her workout videos actually work since 1982.

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series – Comedy Or Musical

Louis C.K., Louie
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Ricky Gervais, Derek
William H. Macy, Shameless
Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Molly’s Pick: Louis C.K., Louie
Wishful predicting: I expect to be bored for about half of this show and think a speech from Louis would really liven things up.

Traci’s Pick: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent
On my list of ‘shows I should probably watch during the summer hiatus’

WINNER: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

T: HERE COME THE WATERWORKS AGAIN.

M: Ha. I was just going to ask how you were holding up. Me too.

T: So the announcer took a struggle bus to say those guys’ names who won the Best Foreign Film award.

M: it’s like when a kid from the slow reading group would get called on to read aloud in elementary school. Cringe city.

T: You know that feeling when someone goes up to a microphone and they start talking and you get a feeling that they’re about to say something cringe-worthy and you just grip your seat hoping it doesn’t become embarrassing? Yeah, that was me with Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Best Television Series – Drama

The Affair
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
The Good Wife
House of Cards

Molly’s Pick: House Of Cards
I love Downton but Traci’s right.

Traci’s Pick: House of Cards
I like Downton and all, but why are we still nominating them for things, folks?

WINNER: The Affair

T: Diane Kruger is exceptionally excited for Joshua Jackson’s win, so much so that I’m beginning to think he’s not actually still with Joey Potter…

M: Nah, Pacey & Joey forever. All my notebooks from 1998 can’t be wrong. It looked like some sort of funhouse with everyone filing in through a mirrored hallway.

Best Performance by an Actor in a TV Series – Drama

Clive Owen, The Knick
Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
James Spader, The Blacklist
Dominic West, The Affair

Molly’s Pick: James Spader, The Blacklist
How have I seen NONE of these?

Traci’s Pick: Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
I feel like this is a weird category, maybe it’s because none of these are traditional network shows, but hey, that’s where TV is going these days. Anyways, Kevin Spacey is a scary breaking the fourth wall motherf’er.

WINNER: Kevin Spacey, House Of Cards

M: I’ll take your word for it, HFPA.

T: Too QT that Kevin and Kata Mara came together. #NoSpoilers

M: I can’t even figure out what could have gotten bleeped in that speech.

T: “It’s about fucking time?” Purely a guesstimate/wish of him saying that

M: I’d like that.

T: OMG I JUST REALIZED NURSE HATHAWAY IS PRESENTING THIS LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD TO GEORGE CLOONEY. ONE OF THE OG OTPS.


“We all want to be a ‘F.O.G.’ (Friend of George) is that a thing that people say?? Also I feel like George is too “young” to be receiving this award? He’s like 50 something. People that get this award are like the old guy from The Holiday (RIP).

M: yeah, me too! You have to be collecting social security at least, but ideally be likely to die of natural causes inside of a decade.

Wait. The old guy from The Holiday died????

T: IRL, yeah. Last year. Eli Wallach 😦

M: Man. I usually don’t start my Sunday Night Cry til 11 or so.

T: I INTERRUPT GEORGE’S SPEECH TO ANNOUNCE THAT JARED LETO IS SPORTING A BRAID TONIGHT.

M: And he clearly did some kind of texturizing spray or backcombing.

T: WAIT I’M CRYING AGAIN BC GEORGE WAS JUST SINCERE WITH THAT SPEECH TO AMAL. I’M DYING.

M: George seems awesome, but I just wanna hang out with Amal and talk about when the US will ratify the Convention On Rights Of the Child, and nuclear nonproliferation, and what Oscar de la Renta was like. God I love Cool Lawyers.

Best Director – Motion Picture

Wes Anderson, The Grand Budapest Hotel
Ava Duvernay, Selma
David Fincher, Gone Girl
Alejandro González Iñárritu, Birdman
Richard Linklater, Boyhood

Molly’s Pick: Richard Linklater, Boyhood
He may not be a likely winner but I’d like to see innovation awarded; just thinking of the directorial process when you’re working on the same story for a decade makes my head spin.

Traci’s Pick: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Birdman
The Hollywood Foreign Press Association always has a tendency to like foreign people, so give it to this Mexican director, por favor.

WINNER: Richard Linklater, Boyhood

M: Dream couple here. Let’s skip the award and talk to the Pratt-Faris family.

Best Performance by an Actress In A TV Series – Drama

Claire Danes, Homeland
Viola Davis, How To Get Away With Murder
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Ruth Wilson, The Affair
Robin Wright, House of Cards

Molly’s Pick: Claire Danes, Homeland
I hope that Viola Davis wins because I love her… But I’m also a proud member of the National Association Of Law School Graduates Who Couldn’t Get Through One Episode Of HTGAWM

Traci’s Pick: Viola Davis, How To Get Away With Murder
HOOWWWW TO GET AWAYYYY WITH WINNING EVERY AWARD AS A HBIC.

WINNER: Ruth Wilson, The Affair

T: IDK if it’s because I don’t really like her character on The Affair, but I’m annoyed.

M: if you don’t get Showtime, is The Affair worth finding an, um, alternate way of watching it?

T: I exclusively find alternate ways of watching premium cable shows.

M: Yes, I’m a subscriber to “my parents don’t even know their HBO subscription comes with HBO GO” myself.

T: Also, this is how Viola Davis handled her night (as did Diane Kruger, which explains a lot). Oh hey Octavia Spencer. Love that they’re still friends.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical

Ralph Fiennes, The Grand Budapest Hotel
Michael Keaton, Birdman
Bill Murray, St. Vincent
Joaquin Phoenix, Inherent Vice
Christoph Waltz, Big Eyes

Molly’s Pick: Michael Keaton, Birdman
Everyone I know who saw it is either super into Birdman or super NOT into it, but I’ve heard overall positive reviews of Keaton.

Traci’s Pick: Michael Keaton, Birdman

A guy who played Batman IRL playing a fake actor who was famous for playing a super hero? Yeah, it’s about time he win a Golden Globe.

WINNER: Michael Keaton, Birdman

M: Is E Michael Keaton’s SL? Everyone’s eyes are saying “I have no clue what is happening.”

Best Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical

Birdman
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Into the Woods
Pride
St. Vincent

Molly’s Pick: St. Vincent
Taking the middle approach between Birdman (likely winner) and Into The Woods (crowd pleaser). Besides, I really enjoyed this one.

Traci’s Pick: Birdman
Again, haven’t seen this, but I’m assuming the HFPA loves it.

WINNER: The Grand Budapest Hotel

T: Whoa. Grand Budapest Hotel coming in from behind! (That’s what she said) AND homeboy has a speech prepared. Also that movie’s cast is apparently a total sausage fest.

M: I liked Grand Budapest, I mean it was fine, but I think I like when Wes Anderson works in a smaller scope (see, eg, Moonrise Kingdom).

M: Does Matthew McConaughey always speak like a VoiceOver of Civil War soldier reading an old letter in a Ken Burns documentary?

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama

Jennifer Aniston, Cake
Felicity Jones, The Theory of Everything
Julianne Moore, Still Alice
Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl
Reese Witherspoon, Wild

Molly’s Pick: Jennifer Aniston, Cake.
I can’t decide whether to pick who SHOULD win, who WILL win, or whose win would really make me happy based on what I’m Netflix binging. So, Jennifer Aniston.

Traci’s Pick: Julianne Moore, Still Alice
I’m afraid to watch Julianne Moore play a woman with alzheimer’s because it’s probably going to make me super sad, but I love her and she deserves this.

WINNER: Julianne Moore, Still Alice

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama

Steve Carell, Foxcatcher
Benedict Cumberbatch, The Imitation Game
Jake Gyllenhaal, Nightcrawler
David Oyelowo, Selma
Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything

Molly’s Pick: Steve Carell, Foxcatcher
Holy NOT Michael Scott. But hey, maybe David Oyelowo?

Traci’s Pick: Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything
TBH, my choice is Steve Carell in Foxcatcher, because he was creepy as hellll and the polar opposite of everything you’ve seen him in. But Eddie Redmayne did the same thing, so he should win too.

WINNER: Eddie Redmayne

T: ‘Wow, what a category’ – Gwyneth Paltrow. Just gonna leave that there.

T: “How much are we gonna miss Amy and Tina” – Queen Meryl about Queens Tina and Amy’s last time hosting the Golden Globes. They still didn’t get enough air time, TBH.

M: I don’t know if I’m just greedy or what, but it seemed like even less this year.

T: Tina and Amy have been drinking since 10am this morning, let’s be real. Also if we’re being real, that Cho North Korea gag went on for too long. It also provided for less Tina/Amy time.

M: yes! I love her, but at an awards show I want quips, not gags.

Best Motion Picture – Drama

Boyhood
Foxcatcher
The Imitation Game
Selma
The Theory of Everything

Molly’s Pick: Boyhood
Well, it’s what I want to win, anyway.

Traci’s Pick: Boyhood
If you haven’t seen Boyhood, go right now or get it on DVD or whatever, because it is fantastic and nothing like I’ve ever seen before.

WINNER: Boyhood

T: Anyways, I’m really glad Boyhood won, because it’s one of my favorite movies of the year.

M: Agreed! Also, I’m now realizing that all of the movies and tv I watched this year were pretty lowbrow. Thanks, Hollywood Foreign Press Association!

Thanks for reading & watching with us! Until next time!