Real Jobs You Can Have, According To The Bachelor

The 19th season of The Bachelor began last night, starring lovable and softspoken Chris Soules. He gracefully got dumped by Andi The Bachelorette last year, and the viewing public took to his good looks and earnestness about the possibility he wasn’t going to be chosen as The One out of 25 other guys, pushing him to the top choice as this year’s Bachelor.

Chris was known as the “Farmer from Iowa” on the show, because that’s what he was. On his hometown date, he brought Andi back home and they had a picnic in the cornfield and he lit’rally took her for a drive on his big green tractor. He went so far as to suggest there was a possibility for her to ‘be a homemaker’ in Iowa, despite the fact she’s a lawyer.

On the road leading up to Farmer Chris’ journey, ABC has aired numerous ads promoting the fact that he’s a farmer – him walking in cornfield and the like. Viewers are always reminded of contestants’ occupations during the season, as whenever they’re being interviewed, their name pops up on a chyron, reminding us who they are and what they do. This year, Chris will meet a WWE Diva-in-Training, a Sport Fishing Enthusiast, and a Cadaver Tissue Saleswoman. Because these are all real jobs. For some reason, people with odd occupations always get cast on this franchise, and while ‘cadaver tissue saleswoman’ is definitely the weirdest by far, there has long been a precedent of unique and frankly, questionable, occupations from those vying for the Bachelor/Bachelorette’s heart. Here are just a few notable ones before you’re introduced to the new batch of ladies tonight…

Kelly T. – Dog Lover

{Season 18 – Juan Pablo}

Kelly took her job so seriously that production even let her bring her work into the house. As in they let her have a dog.

 

Lucy – Free Spirit

{Season 18 – Juan Pablo}

Apparently ‘Free Spirit’ also means ‘Willing to be naked at all times’, because that’s what Lucy was all about.

 

J.J. – Pantsapreneur

{Season 10 – Andi}

His job is exactly what you think it is. I mean, look at those slacks. Slackstrepreneur.

 

Brad – Accountant/DJ

{Season 9 – Desiree}

I love a good combo job. Mundane accountant by day, turning down for what as a DJ by night. What can be better than that?

 

Nick R. – Tailor/Magician

{Season 9 – Desiree}

A tailor/magician is what can be better than that. I could tell this guy just wanted to give up his tailor job and go full-time magician. As seen by the legit tricks he did on the show.

 

Kyle H. – Outdoorsman

{Season 6 – Ali}

He couldn’t be dressing more the part of an outdoorsman in this flannel. And is that a bullet hanging from his necklace? Is that a necklace?

 

Alejandro – Mushroom Farmer

{Season 8 – Emily}

I remember Alejandro being a sweet guy, but it was always like, ‘really? a MUSHROOM farmer?’ Maybe IDK enough about how mushrooms are grown, but this is like a drug front, no?

 

Peyton – Sorority Recruiter

{Season 10 – Andy}

Again, maybe it’s because I have no knowledge of sororities, but what exactly would she be recruiting? As an adult not in college?

 

Erica Rose – Socialite

{Season 9 – Prince Lorenzo}

This bitch made for good TV. I only know her from the season of Bachelor Pad she competed in and it’s important that in addition to being a socialite, you know that she later became a lawyer. Hence the tiara AND the gavel.

 

Brit – Beer Chemist

{Season 12 – Matt Grant}

Any job involving alcohol never seems like a real thing to me. But obviously, our beer meeds chemist-ing.

 

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5 thoughts on “Real Jobs You Can Have, According To The Bachelor

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