Category Archives: Outfit Girl

Michelle Tanner’s High-Fashion Fashions

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Remember Michelle Tanner’s outfits? They were the coolest – the oversized buttons, the sassy sweatsuits, the sunflower hats. Well, you can’t buy style that fly at The Children’s Place. Nope – those fashions went straight from the runway, to a seamstress who cuts down clothing for children and tiny adults, to your television. I didn’t believe it, either, but this week Ashley Olsen said:

We’d be in six-hour fittings three times a week, because we had to wear 12 different outfits. The majority of the wardrobe was made up of adult pieces, including Chanel and Marc Jacobs, cut to fit.

Now, I’d never call Ashley Olsen a liar (Mary-Kate, on the other hand…). It’s just that, even in the crazy 80s, I thought that Chanel and Marc Jacobs were a little more dignified than this:

Thanks to Olivia Newton John, aerobic wear was all the rage, and Givenchy went off the rails for a while there.

From Armani’s Fall/Winter 1990 “Cartoon Pandas And Whales” line.

The 90s were in full swing, and the House of Versace was all about these fetus-sized voodoo dolls with yarn hair.

Every student of fashion knows the 1992 collaboration between Jean-Paul Gaultier and Lisa Frank.

(L) Olsen in Oleg Cassini (Resort Collection); (R) Baby Jess Merriweather in Gymboree.

The running motif in Jil Sander’s poorly-received Spring 1991 line? Big-assed buttons.

Princess Diana wore nautical pieces on a Greek vacation, and the next season, Commes des Garcons was – in designer Kawakubo’s own words – “trying a thing.”

I thought that this was both twins, circa 1995, in Vera Wang. However, I’m told that this is a full-grown Mary-Kate Olsen, appearing alongside her paramour and an actual child. Honest mistake.

Vintage Chanel Couture.

You thought your third grade teacher was buying her Christmas sweaters at Christopher & Banks? Try Dolce & Gabbana.

‘You Know What? Everyone Just Give Up For A While’ – cover story of Vogue’s September Issue, 1989 – and the inspiration for this ensemble.

90s Fashion Myths vs. Realities

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** A lot of the pictures have broken since we first wrote this, and we see you, and we’ll be fixing it ASAP. **

Listen, young ladies on tumblr. You’re all into the 90s look, and that’s great, I suppose. I mean, from my perspective it’s the very definition of not great, because it means that I am now old enough to have worn a “vintage” trend the first time around, but bully for you.

Here’s the deal, though. You’re getting it wrong. Your romanticized version of the 90s is super cute, but that’s not how it was. It was awkward, frumpy, and all around unfortunate. Our shirts were too wide and short by a good stretch. Our jeans made us look ice cream cone-shaped. Regardless of season or latitude, everyone was dressed for a Seattle winter. Inspired by our live blog of Hocus Pocus, I present a fashion companion to all you tumblr girls who were born after the early 90s: You Weren’t There, You Wouldn’t Understand

Jeans

Myth:

Everyone wore distressed, slouchy “boyfriend” pants or sleek, high-waisted, taper-legged denim.

Reality:

Yeah. Our waists were high all right. But do you know what lay between the high waist and the tapered ankle? A foot-long butt. While the modern iteration of these pants has a slim fit, there was no “skinny’ in 90s jeans. Rather, there was a ton of fabric, so that your frame would blossom out after your waist, only to end in a vice grip around your ankles. We all looked like gorgeous ice cream cones.

In terms of denim, the acid wash and stone wash we wore had NOTHING in common with today’s distressed denim. It looked almost like the cover of a marble composition notebook. We didn’t do subtlety very well back then. And if you weren’t wearing that – and this never shows up on your tumblrs – you were wearing super-bright, almost indigo blue denim.

Flannel

Myth:

We all wore big, cozy flannel shirts a la Kurt Cobain or – let’s be real – Angela Chase.

Reality:

Well, we did… kind of. I remember being so excited in second grade to get a slouchy flannel for Christmas – so I could look like Cory Matthews. So, I want you to think less Nirvana and more TGIF. Most of us didn’t look like angsty grunge musicians, we looked like honor roll kids from nice families who were trying to stay comfy.

Leggings

Myth:

Underneath our Seattle flannels or stylish tunic tops, we showed off our toned, aerobicized legs in leggings, topped off with Doc Martins.

Reality:

Every kind of pants in the 90s made you look like you were wearing diapers. I think leggings had a little less elastic then, plus most of the ones we had were stirrup leggings. Yeah. In the 90s, stirrups weren’t just for horseback riding and your gyno’s office. So, pants were well secured at the waist and ankles, and kind of saggy and sad in between. On our feet? Keds.

Hair

Myth:

Our hair fell in long, devil-may-care waves and curls, kind of like Lorde.

Reality:

Those big 80s bangs didn’t really die until the mid-90s. We didn’t wear loose waves, we wore spiral perms. If you wanted to look really polished, you probably had The Rachel, and if you wanted to look really professional, you had Princess Diana’s haircut. In the late 90s, we didn’t wear long, subtle side bangs like all of you kids. We had light fringes that we painstakingly curled under with round brushes, so your forehead was under a protective hair-dome. There was a lot of half-up, half-down happening. Lots of claw clips. Scrunchies. Seasonal scrunchies, classy scrunchies, denim scrunchies. One of the first times I remember getting a big laugh in a crowded room, I was about 5 and was making up a commercial for scrunchies at Thanksgiving with my extended fam. “Scrunchies! Because real bracelets are for snobs! Scrunchies! Because you could put it in your hair later, maybe!” (See, the whole thing with scrunchies was that they just ended up on everyone’s wrists).

Businesswear

Myth:

The woman of the 90s wore a lot of power pieces – be it menswear-inspired suspenders, or tiny suits a la Ally McBeal.

Reality:

The woman of the 90s wore a lot of shoulder pads – it wasn’t just the 80s. She’s also responsible for that thing where you wear big, ugly sneakers with business clothes in order to go power walking. 90s women wore a ton of horrible flat-front khakis. The Adult Jumper was going strong, and not just for teachers.

Neon

Myth:

Totally radical!

Reality:

Totally dopey.

Riot Grrl

Myth:

We wore baby doll dresses as a subtle critique of the infatilization of adult women – ditto for those baby barrettes. These were paired with heavy, down-to-business boots. Zines as far as the eye can see.

Reality:

Sure. We all wore baby doll dresses with baby barrettes and boots — because Stephanie Tanner did. I’m sure it was different if you were in high school or college, but if you were a kid in the 90s you probably weren’t wearing these fashions to fight the patriarchy with Kathleen Hanna and Courtney Love. You just wanted to look like people on TV.

Music

Myth:

While we wore our sweet tumblr-y fashions, we listened to the latest indie tunes from mix tapes that we ordered from the back of a zine.

Reality:

Celine Dion. Natalie Merchant. A lot of pseudo-intellectualism: “tell me all your thoughts on God,” e.g. Harmonicas without irony. Actually, everything without irony. That’s what separates real 90s style from the (admittedly better) 2010s revival, and the best thing about the decade: we really, earnestly meant all of this.

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Signature Hairstyles: The Mark Of A Bad Bitch

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There was a time when I thought I was doing everything right to be a competent, professional lady. College? A breeze. Law school? Magna Cum Laude, like a boss (well, okay, I missed summa. But I said boss, not CEO.) Real job? Take that, tough economic times. I even have a shelter dog.

But something was missing. I was tripping on my way up the corporate ladder. I aimed my slingshot at the glass ceiling, only to find it loaded with Nerf pellets. What gives?

Well, there was one power move I seriously overlooked: the signature hairstyle. Throughout history, every lady who has done anything important has had a signature ‘do. It kills me that I’ve wasted 2 years of my career with my hair any-which-length. Learn from my mistakes, and take a cue from these distinctively-coiffed ladies:

Anna Wintour

Anna Wintour, when Princess Diana was alive.

Anna Wintour, hair unchanged 16 years after Princess Diana’s death even though we all swore we’d never be the same again after that.

Anna Wintour’s bob is as precise and razor-sharp as the steel wire that encases the empty place in her chest where her heart used to be (Because hearts are for fat people. Why do you think those heart-shaped boxes are filled with chocolate candy? To make you fatter. What can happen when you get fat, whether externally or with inner fatness? Your heart ATTACKS you. All ties together).

Cher

1966 – just before shit started to get real weird out there.

Well, this is depressing.

Cher’s crazy rich. She’s absurdly famous. And she’s had the same hairdo since the mid-60s. I think she owes her success, in part, to the signature ‘do. Do you think she’d have the same panache with a nice shoulder-length cut with some bangs? You know all that hair can’t be real. At this point she should just start a hair extension company, name it Gypsies, Tramps and Weaves, and be done with it.

Little Edie Beale

I know the theme of the list is successful ladies who have signature ‘dos, and I’d say that Edie fits the bill. If slowly decaying inside of a decrepit mansion surrounded by lots of cats doesn’t sound like your idea of “making it,” just remember that Edie was such a staunch character that she carried a documentary and inspired a telefilm and a musical. Plus, she looked oddly beautiful doing it. So you know what? I think this WOULD be the best costume for the day.

Susan B. Anthony

The B stands for “Badass.” Or possibly “Bun,” because she wore one every day – ending with when she died and starting, I picture, with birth. Suze here reminds us that when you’re really committed to a cause, maybe the best thing is to pick a hairstyle and then never waste your energy thinking about it again. Also that if you work really hard for something, and commit 40 or so years to it, then maybe a few decades after you die it’ll happen!

(Screw that; I’m not even patient enough to ever let my microwave timer run all the way down.)

Diana RossTo paraphrase Mean Girls, we all know why Diana Ross’s hair is so big – it’s full of secrets. As in, the secrets to success. If you look at old pictures of Ms. Ross, it almost seems like every year her hair gets bigger and bigger. It’s like it absorbs the love of her supporters and the scorn of her detractors, so that none of it gets to Diana.

Mary, Mother Of God

Look. I’m not trying to get into one of those “mommy wars” where we debate whether raising children is a job. I don’t need to. When, for 33 years, your full-time business was raising God – changing God’s diapers, sitting through God’s Little League banquets, silently judging God’s date to the Freshman Formal – I’m calling it: it’s a job. Mary is also the only person on our list whose ‘do is actually iconic. Like, in the literal sense: she appears on a bunch of religious icons. While not a “hair” do in the traditional sense, always styling your hair underneath the same long veil is a hair statement, and the gal never wavered.

Barbara Walters

Babs, 1975

Babs, present day.

Think of a classic wardrobe staple – let’s say, a blue blazer. In any time in recent history, you could have worn a blue blazer and looked legit. Sure, in the 70s the lapel would have been bigger, and in the 90s it would have been a boxier cut, but it’s still a blue blazer.

That’s Barbara Walters’ hair. There have been some variations on the theme through the decades, but if you scalped Barbara Walters and put her hair on a mannequin -whether in 1975 or 1992 or 2013 – you’d see it and say “yep, someone scalped Barbara Walters, I guess. And this is her hair.”

Sarah Palin

Hair as tall, shining and majestic as the peaks of Denali.

I don’t care what your politics are, you have to admit that this is some power hair. The biggest boon to Palin’s run for national office -and, possibly, the biggest drawback – was hair so distinctive that you could dress as her for Halloween without really trying very hard.

Whoopi Goldberg

If we have two panel members from The View on this list, it’s only because getting paid to sit in a semi-circle and talk over people is the true meaning of “having it all.” The last time I sat around every morning with my peers talking about the events of the day, I was in kindergarten, and I wasn’t getting paid for it. It was called Circle Time. Anyway, Goldberg is so known by her unwavering, tidy dreadlocks that when you see her with straightened, loose hair in Sister Act, it’s kind of unnerving.

Marie Antoinette

Ya know … maybe if people are about to behead you you shouldn’t make your head look so damn showy.

While I painstakingly catalog every premature gray on my head, Marie Antoinette was powdering her entire enormous wig. She knew what the rest of us haven’t figured out: Gray hair has gravitas. It has dignity. It has flair. It… will not keep the proletariat from chopping your head off. So remember, while you’re cultivating your signature ‘do, don’t neglect the little people – or the little people might kill you.

Louise Brooks (Counter-Example)

Louise Brooks, in her heyday.

Louise Brooks, in her dotage.

Louise Brooks had THE iconic bob in the 20s. She was also the toast of Hollywood. Then in old age, she grew her hair long and ditched the bangs. Result? She died in our hometown of Rochester, NY. See, that’s what happens when grow out your signature hairstyle. You become a reverse Samson, losing your power because you stop cutting your hair.

Emmy Awards 2013: Best & Worst Dressed

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Well folks, it’s the day after the 65th Annual Emmys (did you check out our live blog?), and if you’re anything like us, you’re still bitter about the (failed) results of your Emmy ballots.

One thing that we can’t lose at are our Best & Worst Dressed list, so here are our picks from last night’s ceremony with TV’s biggest stars.

Molly’s Picks:

Best Dressed

Tina Fey in Narciso Rodriguez

The dress so nice, we’re listing it twice. While we’re trying to keep repeats on our best/ worst dressed lists to a minimum, I’d be a fool not to include this on my best dressed list. Not only is Tina Fey smarter than almost everyone on this red carpet, and funnier than almost everyone on this red carpet, she’s also more stylish and prettier.

Kerry Washington in Marchesa

I had to sleep on this one – and so, apparently, did Kerry Washington, judging by the dress’s kind of rumply texture. I was on the fence about the dress last night, but the more I see it, the more I love it. Would’ve been a great dress to win in. Next year, Gladiators.

Kate Mara in J Mendel

This might show up on a few worst dressed lists, and I think maybe another year it could’ve ended up on mine. I think it’s just the overall styling that’s working for me – the dress with the simple hair and smoky makeup.

Elisabeth Moss in Dolce & Gabbana

I was really feeling these 2 trends that kept appearing: the separate or faux-separate skirt and bodice, and the black and white color blocking. Since Traci already covered my favorite black and white dress (read on to see who!), it only seemed fair to give space to my second-fav.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Monique Lhuillier

Last night, Traci said that this looked like a beautiful disco ball and I said that I wanted to touch JLD’s face because her skin is so pretty. I stand by both of those comments.

Honorable Mention: Claire Danes in Armani Prive

When I was writing my best dressed picks before work, I included this one. Post coffee, I cannot remember why. I’m keeping this on the list for my sleepy-eyed, 6am self who for whatever reason thought this was pretty. That 6am girl is also the person who dressed me today. She didn’t do so great.

Worst Dressed

Lena Dunham in Delia’s Prada

When Lena Dunham tweeted that her dress looked like it was designed by Delia’s earlier this week, I had high hopes for butterfly clips and butterfly print. But the thing that’s really Delia’s-esque about this is that Lena’s eyeshadow is matched to her dress. After 9th grade Lena -or someone around her – should know better.

Mayin Bialik in Oliver Tolentino Couture

Everyone else liked this, and I did until you got to the tinselly belt and cuffs. That made everything look kind of costumey to me, like she’d be playing The Giving Tree in a really nice Montessori school or Blanche Dubois in a less-nice Montessori school.

Julianne Hough in Jenny Packham

Remember in 2002, when girls used to walk around with visible thongs over their low-rise 501s, and you would think “what could be less hot than this?” This dress answers that question with “well, visible granny panties, of course.”

Zosia Mamet in Honor

I like everything about this until the giant faux mustache over her boobs.

Lily Rabe

Annie taught us that you’re never fully dressed without a smile. But you’re also never fully dressed without that other half of your dress. Besides, nobody was smiling last night. That was the most sorrowful, grim Emmy Awards I ever did see and that’s counting the time they postponed it because of 9/11.

Traci’s Picks

Best Dressed

Taylor Schilling in Thakoon

Daaannnnggg Chapman. You clean up well! Taylor was there for nothing but publicity and eye candy, but she sure made her mark on the red carpet. Simple, sexy, elegant – that’s how you do an awards show, folks.

Michelle Dockery in Prada

Lady Mary sure knows how to hit a home run on the red carpet. Or like, whatever the equivalent to a home run is in cricket. She always knows what styles and colors look great on her, and this is no different. Of course I LOVE color blocking, so maybe that’s why I adore her dress so much.

Tina Fey in Narciso Rodriguez

Listen. As much as I love Tina Fey. The first thing you think of her is that she’s funny. Not a fashionista. So while she has made some questionable fashion decisions in the past, she looks absolutely stunning in this bold blue dress. Suck on that, nerds.

Kaley Cuoco in Vera Wang

For me, Kaley Cuoco is usually a hit or miss for me at awards shows. But this Vera Wang dress is to die. It’s the perfect mix of sexy and classy, just like Taylor Schilling’s dress. And while a lot of ladies were going with white and black or pastels, she decided to go the other route with the fantastic burgundy.

Anna Gunn in Ramona Keveza

You know when someone who is nominated/expected to win first appears on the red carpet and they come out wearing a dress and you just KNOW they’re going to win in? Yeah, this is it. Julia Roberts. Jennifer Lawrence. Anna Gunn.

Honorable Mention: Kiernan Shipka in Delpozo

Guys, I can’t get over how much older and mature little Sally Draper looks! I’m obsessed with the style direction she’s going in as she enters her teens. She knows exactly what is age appropriate, but also always picks something that will stand out in a crowd of grown-ups. And if you ever watch her in interviews, she is the smartest 13 year old ever. More like 13 going on 30, amirite ladies/Jennifer Garner?

Worst Dressed

Melissa Leo

I just… did she think she was going to either a circus or not be on stage at all? Because she was on stage. And not at a circus.

Paula Abdul

Honestly… just when you thought she couldn’t get any crazier. Just like Melissa Leo, I tried researching the designers for each dress, but to no avail. Maybe they didn’t want the negative publicity.

Heidi Klum in Versace

Um, I’m pretty sure Heidi Klum is being attacked by her own sequined gown. Should someone help her?

Lena Dunham in Prada

Oh Lena. In all honesty, this still isn’t as bad as the poop brown Zac Posen gown she wore at the Golden Globes. But like she/I said in the live blog yesterday, this looks like a dress she would wear to a summer BBQ in 1994, courtesy of the Delia’s catalog – evening gown edition.

Julianne Hough in Jenny Packham

Jules. You’re a gorgeous girl who actually get her style choices right most of the time. Not so much now. When they showed her in the audience when Derek won, you could only see the waist up, and she didn’t look that bad. And then I saw this picture. I know you’re a dancer and all, but no need to bring your leotard to the Emmys. THE EMMYS. This is a black tie event, ma’am. Not the VMAs.

Celebs on the Frontlines: New York Fashion Week 2013

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New York City was abuzz with fashionistas last week, as the world’s best and brightest designers gathered in the Big Apple to show off their collections for Spring 2014. A lot of eyes are on the models that walk the runways, but it was also a time for celebrities to grab a front row seat at their favorite designers’ shows and prove that they care about clothes as much as the fashion editors sitting next to them. Not to mention that front row at a Fashion Week is usually the best time to see celebs together that you normally would in the outside world. For example, this picture from the Burberry show during Paris Fashion Week 2012:

(A confused) Aaron Paul, Dita Von Teese, Harry Styles, Dev Patel and Harvey Weinstein. Or, the next Ocean’s 14.

Here’s some of the best stars that were (sometimes uncomfortably) sitting in the coveted seats and the clothes that were modeled before them.

Photo Sep 15, 10 24 05 PM

Alexander Wang: Terry Richardson, a girl who might be Zoe Kravitz, Kanye and Miguel

Photo Sep 15, 10 43 11 PM

Herve Leger: Nicki Minaj taking a selfie instead of watching the runway show…

 Photo Sep 15, 11 54 11 PM

Y-3: Tunic wearing ex-boyfriend of Selena Gomez sporting a ‘mustache’

Photo Sep 15, 10 57 51 PM

Richard Chai: Zachary Quinto as the fourth (actually fifth) Jonas Brother?

Photo Sep 15, 11 07 27 PM

Opening Ceremony: RiRi, her bff Melissa Forde, Miguel and the beautiful rule breaking moth Ann Perkins/Rashida Jones (aka the bench i would most like to sit on)

Photo Sep 15, 11 20 32 PM

Tadashi Shoji: The moment when a 15 year old is older than a 40-year-old Alyssa Milano

Photo Sep 15, 11 31 57 PM

Alicia Keys, Anna Wintour and Maria Sharpova

Photo Sep 15, 11 41 10 PM

Victoria Beckham: Mr. Beckham, the real princess of the UK and Anna Wintour actually showing some human emotion

I’m Wearing White Tomorrow and You Can’t Stop Me

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Happy Labor Day everyone! Hope you’re reading this in the comfort of your own home or on vacation somewhere nice and attempting to not talk to your friends/family members by staring at your phone. While Labor Day is in honor of all of those who, well, labor, it also marks  a big transition into September.  It’s a sign that fall is on its way, that school is starting back up again, that people always have weddings over Labor Day weekend, and of course, most depressingly, that summer is over.

But Labor Day also is that date in the fashion calendars that end the wearing of all things white. Where did this all start anyways? Well a couple of origins stories include the fact that back in the day, people simply wore white in the summer because it would cool them down. Another story is that in the early 20th century, the well-to-doers would go up to their summer homes and don their white attire on vacation. When they headed back to the dreary city life, they’d take out their dark clothes to join all the city folk in their black attire.

Soon it became a hard and fast rule to wear white in the summer and immediately go back to dark the last weekend in August. And thus a rather ridiculous style rule was born.

You know what I say? I say screw the rules. Ima wear white when I wanna wear white, bitches. And I’m also gonna wear black with brown (if it looks appropriate) too, so suck on thatttt Anna Wintour.

However, if for some reason you think the fashion gods will smite you down and force you to shop at Ross (Dress for Less) the rest of your life, then here are some ways to still utilize those white items in your closet without completely breaking the rules of fashion.

For the Hipster Girl

White Hipster

For the Anthropologie Girl

Anthro White

For the Preppy Girl 

Preppy White

For the Jersey Shore/Guidette/Karma-Girl

Jersey Shore White

For the Vintage ‘I like retro but not shopping at thrift stores’ Girl

Vintage White

 

For the Granola/Crunchy/I wear Coachella Outfits year round Girl

Coachella White

So, [Insert Famous Person Here] Got A Haircut

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As we all know by now, Beyonce got her hurr did last week, and shocked everyone by posting this pic on the interwebz:

All hell broke loose once she posted the photos, and it legit became a worldwide trending topic on Twitter. The media was covering it like World War III had just started. You have to ask yourself – is this all really necessary? Beyonce gets a haircut and that’s all anyone can talk about? I obviously understand that more people care about Beyonce than the regular person, but still. Can’t wait for the day when a woman of star status cutting her hair doesn’t make headlines or define herself as a person.

But B isn’t the only celebrity who has received this much attention for shedding her locks. Check out these other folks who’ve made headlines just for their “drastic” haircuts.

Keri Russell

Before

After

I think it’s safe to say that if there was any one haircut that changed television, it was this one. And the ‘Rachel’ doesn’t count – that was a trend. No one was running out the door to get Felicity’s short cut. But Keri Russell, whose greatest role is probably Felicity (save the Mickey Mouse Club), became the center of controversy in 1999 when she cut off her trademark hair in favor for a different kind of trademark hair.

Keri took a photo of herself wearing a short hair wig as a joke to the producers, who then decided it was time for Felicity to have a dramatic hair change as well. Incidentally, that following season, ratings declined and many thought the haircut was to blame. Or it could be the fact that the storylines began to suck, but hey I’m not here to judge (yes, yes I am).

But this haircut became such a big controversy that it has been a constant reference in pop culture, and I probably didn’t even have to write this because you knew about it already.

Miley Cyrus

Before

After

I think out of all the celebrity haircuts I’ve been alive for, this one has been the most “shocking.” Adding to her evolution from Disney Princess to rebellious adult, Miles went for a totally punk rock look last year. TBH, I thought it wasn’t as bad as everyone was saying it was, mainly because it kinda fit her ‘real’ personality, but to go from long locks (which she put into a perfect bun) to this look, stunned to world over.

Emma Watson

Before

After

What’s the best way to celebrate the end of a 10 year job that changed your life? Cut off all your hair, of course. Emma explained that after years of being told what to do and when to do it, it was liberating to finally do whatever the hell she wanted. With that explanation, I personally approved of her pixie cut, especially when it grew out just a bit more. But for perfectionist Hermione, it was a rebellious act that could barely be fathomed. What’s that, now? Harry Potter isn’t real?

Lena Dunham

Before

After

Apparently after actors finish a milestone in their careers, they stun the public by cutting off their hair. When we first met Lena Dunham, she was the quirky, usually nude, multi-talented star of Girls. And then we watched the rest of season one and Lena Dunham became, well, Lena Dunham. After wrapping season one, she posted this pic on Instagram and wrote, “I Miley’d the shit out of this Saturday.” This is how celebdom works now. Miley Cyrus and her haircut are now verbs. Just take note people, don’t pull a Hannah Horvath and try to Miley the shit of your hair by yourself.

Demi Moore

Before

lol that tagline

After

The year was 1997. Demi Moore was still married to Bruce Willis and I was in sixth grade thinking I would be married to AJ McLean from the Backstreet Boys. Things have changed for Demi, not so much for me. Filed under: Willing to do anything for her craft, Demi was enlisted as the lead role in G.I. Jane, a Lieutenant in the Navy. Naturally, being in the military requires a buzzcut for men, but her character decided to do it anyways. Not only did she do it for real, she did it herself. If you want to put yourself in the 1997 mindset, just imagine Hanson in their heyday, and Demi as the highest paid actress in Hollywood at the time. That’s like if Angelina Jolie just decided to cut all her hair off down to a buzzcut for a movie role in one take.

Anne Hathaway

Before

After

Following in the footsteps of Demi, Anne also shed her hair for a role, which we all know now as Fantine’s 20 minute appearance in Les Miserables, which earned Anne an Emmy and every other award possible. I know Anne is a really polarizing celebrity, and I’m kind of indifferent about her, but for some reason, my Hathaway meter leans towards dislike with her short hair. It’s like she knows she has confidence and is better than all of us and hangs her Oscar from her car mirror. She even dyed it blonde (which I’m assuming was also for another role), which didn’t really help either.

Guess the (Ghastly) Goop Prices!

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I’ve always said that if I ever win the lottery or suddenly inherit loads of money, I would not buy extravagant things. I would probably still shop at places like Target and Forever 21 H&M, but just buy more stuff without having to think twice about it. None of that designer stuff for me.

But there are some people who do fall under the category of throwing money at random stuff – e.g. American Apparel shoppers. The ones that pay $24 for a tank top. I mean, obviously the quality is better etc. etc., but $24 just seems a little too extreme for some fabric.

If you happen to be one of these folks, I have just the site for you. Welcome to Goop.

goopIf you’re not familiar, Goop is a lifestyle website created by Gwyneth Paltrow. It started off as a newsletter, but has since expanded into a website for online shopping, recipes, parenting advice and more. However, Goop has been known to sell some pretty pricy items, which of course is nothing new. However, the site takes the American Apparel route to the next level, selling simple clothes (like tank tops) for twice as much. Here are a few ridiculously priced Goop products that Gwyneth is peddling to the masses. And just for funsies, try to guess how much each items is before looking at the actual retail price! Either highlight the space next to ‘Actual Retail Price’ or click on the pic to purchase it for yourself!

>Actual Retail Price: $175<

>Actual Retail Price: $98<

>Actual Retail Price: $91<

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Style Watch: Future Queens Of Europe

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This past spring, when some non-royal handed Duchess Catherine a teddy bear, she said “thank you, I’ll give it to my d…”.  As of July 22, 2013, Kate’s secret was out – we all filled in “daughter,” but apparently she was going to say “dog.” Yes, Middleton gave a stuffed animal from an adoring commoner to her pets.

I don’t want to be publicly on the record as saying I cared whether this baby would be a boy or a girl. I really don’t care, I promise. It’s just that little girls have such better outfits! Trust me – I have like 100 nephews (ok, 5) and 1 niece, and shopping for little boy clothes is just not that fun.

While we can’t start our wardrobe watch for a future British Queen, fortunately Europe is lousy with little princesses right now. Any of them would make a great match for little Prince George, provided they’re not too-too related. And ohmygoodness, look what they’re wearing!:

Infantas Leonor and Sofia, Spain

The princesses were big news in the Spanish tabloids when I studied in Madrid. With DNA from the ridiculously good-looking Felipe and Letizia, it’s no wonder these kids are adorable. Anyone who’s spent time in Spain knows that kids there are dressed beautifully, but even for Spain, this is good.

Like a walking Brooks Brothers children’s catalog.

Infanta Sofia wore this Nanos dress that her older sister sported on the family Christmas card a few years back. Royals – they’re just like the rest of us.

Princesses Catharina-Amalia, Ariane, and Alexia, The Netherlands

Royal blue dresses for their father’s coronation. Oh my goodness.

Can I get those matching blue/pink dresses in grownup size?

Best brunch outfits ever. That little plaid suit! I love over-the-top preppiness on little kids. Which means my future children will hate me by the time they’re 10 and go full-goth by the time they’re 15.

Princess Estelle, Sweden

This is Estelle on Sweden Day. I also love children in traditional national dress. Unfortunately, I’m from America, where our “traditional national dress” is, I think, yoga pants.

You might want to pop a few aspirin, because your ovaries are going to hurt from this picture. Out of the frame, there’s a blue flower applique on the skirt of that dress, but that just seemed like too much to do to all of you.

We all know that babies aren’t really sailors. And we don’t usually dress babies in other kinds of professional garb, like tiny mechanic jumpsuits or little power suits . But I’ll be darned if babies in sailor dresses aren’t the cutest thing ever.

Princess Ingrid Alexandra, Norway

See? National dress. Is it OK to dress your children like Madame Alexander dolls if you’re not royalty?

Rocking the white-on-white like a PRO. And I’m sorry, are those little brogues? Dead.

Second in line to the Norwegian throne, but already a fashion queen.

Princesses Elisabeth and Eleanore, Belgium

With all apologies to Zooey Deschanel, this is the best use of the Peter Pan collar I’ve seen in months.

Flawless pink trench coat.

So if the cut and color of these coronation dresses weren’t cute enough already…

THE FABRIC. Love.

And that’s how you wear a print.

Fierce Royal Baby Bump is Fierce

Posted in Lists, Outfit Girl by

IDK if you guys are aware or not, but we are on official royal baby watch!! At this very second, dozens of reporters are camped out in front of St. Mary’s hospital waiting for the first glimpse of the next heir. Funny story: a new report says they might be at the wrong hospital and Kate and Wills are going to a different one across town. Kind of hope this is true.

To preface, when Prince William and the Dutchess of Cambridge tied the knot two years ago, at first I couldn’t care less. But then I found myself watching it go down live at like 2am, and I legit couldn’t stop watching. I was so entranced by their love, Kate’s beauty, the official-ness of it all. It was fascinating to me.

I guess I didn’t realize that Kate was a normal girl who happened to fall in love with a future king – and is also gorgeous and flawless and can do no wrong. Ever since, I’ve kept an eye on the two. Especially Kate and her wardrobe choices. She always manages to stay classy yet fresh, royal yet modern, all while infusing her own personal taste. And that’s what made her one of the best dressed pregnant Dutchesses ladies in the land. So while we eagerly anticipate to find out if it’s boys or girls who’ll run the world, here are some of her best looks from over the past nine months.

January 11, 2013 – It’s obviously early on in her pregnancy, and while she still looks like she’s werking that Dukan Diet, she looks great in this crimson Whistles Sophie Rae dress and Episode black heels.

February 19 – There are very few people who can pull off the wrap dress look. Besides Lorelai Gilmore in DVF, Kate looks stunning in this MaxMara dress.

March 5 – Looking delightful in chocolate brown, both the Hobbs Celeste coat and Great Plains floral dress sold out under AN HOUR after she was seen in this outfit!

March 15 –  Odds are that no other young royal has ever work boots quite like the Dutchess. She may be wearing borderline fishnets, but the rest of her ensemble prove she knows how to keep it classy for a public event. Kate’s sporting a Joseph coat, Lock & Co Betty Boop hat, Stuart Weitzman Zipkin boots, Emmy Natasha clutch bag, and Cornelia James wool bow gloves.

March 17 – How cute is this look for St. Patrick’s Day?! I feel like this is the first real time we saw her bump, and  what a great reveal it was. For next St. Paddy’s Day, grab an Emilia Wickstead dress coat for St Patrick’s Day with a hat by Sylvia Fletcher for Lock & Co.

March 22 – What else makes a royal more down to earth than ‘normal’ people clothes?! Hat, leggings, and wellies? The second People’s Princess, y’all.

April 5 – Again with the fierce boots. Love these black suede Aquatella ‘Hi and Dry’ boots, especially paired with the scarlet Armani coat.

April 26 – This is for sure my absolute favorite outfit Kate has worn during her pregnancy. The fun and flirty Topshop polka dot dress was matched with a Ralph Lauren jacket. I legit tried to find this dress hours after these photos were taken, and it was already sold out. The Kate Effect is real. To make this particular scene ever better, she, Wills, and third wheel Prince Harry were visiting the Harry Potter Studios in London.

i mean can you even ❤

April 29 – Peachy Keen, jelly bean. How glowing does she look in this outfit!?

May 22 – Continuing her streak of Emilia Wickstead Marella coats, the Dutchess looked striking in sunshine yellow and a Jane Corbett hat. Really tho, not a lot of people can pull those hats off.

June 4 – I feel like a designer like Jenny Packham was made for the Dutchess, and this lace dress is a perfect example. She paired it with a perfect light peach coat that doesn’t cover up the bump too much. And see what I mean about the hat??

June 4 – I think seeing royals out in the wild wearing normal people clothes excites the commonfolk in all of us, but to make it even better, she’s wearing an Asos dress that costs approximately $34. Plus she knows how to color block like a pro.

June 13 – Kate went out with a bang for her final public appearance until the royal baby is born, donning a saucy animal print Hobbs coat and an edgy ‘facsinator’. Can’t wait to see what she puts the baby in!