25 years ago, parents started bringing their daughters to the one place they went to get away from their kids – work.
Take Your Daughter To Work Day started in 1993 by the Ms. Foundation for Women, in an effort to expand young girls’ career horizons and increase visibility of adult women in the workplace. In 2003, they expanded the day to include boys, officially renaming it Take Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day, because #MensRights.
Growing up, I’d spend a number of days in my mom or dad’s office (official holiday or not), and because I was a nerd, I liked playing with office supplies and drawing on that old school green and white striped printer paper. Playing “office” in an office was some next level shit. But sitting in the corner of a cubicle listening to the soft rock radio station is nothing compared to going to work with people who have much more “interesting” jobs than my parents. Here are just some kids I’m jealous of, whose day probably won’t include playing with a printing calculator.
Blue already seems like the type of kid who goes to work with her parents on the daily anyways, but to get an all access pass to Jay and Bey’s work life? Sign me up. Get up, work out in Ivy Park gear, lay down a track in the studio, rehearse for the upcoming tour, have a meeting with a top Hollywood executive, then attend the Met Gala at night? Yes. But let’s be real – I would go to work with Blue Ivy any day of the week.
Hazel and Violet Krasinski {Daughters of Emily Blunt and John Krasinski}
You know how you just know people are going to be good parents? Like they were always meant to be parents, but they just didn’t have the kids yet? That’s how I feel about Emily and John – two people I do not know personally. They both seem like warm, loving people who are good humans, and therefore would raise good humans. Bonus: I wouldn’t be surprised if John willingly plays dress up and tea with his two daughters with no shame at all.
Sebastian Miranda {Son of Lin-Manuel Miranda and Vanessa Nadal}
We haven’t even seen Sebastian Miranda’s face, but if you follow Lin at all, it’s pretty clear their tot is a genius. Which makes sense given his dad is a Tony/Grammy/Emmy/Pulitzer winner and his mom is a scientist who got bored so she decided to get her law degree. What is it like to have such smart parents? I’d love to get a glimpse of Lin’s creative process then follow him on set with Emily Blunt on Mary Poppins Returns (DOES SEBASTIAN PLAY WITH HAZEL AND VIOLET?), and then shadow Vanessa and understand absolutely nothing about the law? That would be a bit of a day.
Prince George and Princess Charlotte {Royal kids of Prince William and Princess Kate}
As Americans, part of the reason why we obsess so much over the royals is because we don’t really have the equivalent of them here. Maybe Jay and Bey? But it’s not the same. So the fascination with Wills and Kate and their two offspring is astonishing. I get that they do a lot of humanitarian work and travel all over the UK and the rest of the world, but just to see what a normal day in the life of a Princess would be an American girl’s dream.
North and Saint West {Kids of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West}
Kim Kardashian has such a public profile that you’ve got to wonder if there’s anything she keeps to herself, or if her personality among friends and family is the same that you see on TV. Meanwhile, her husband may shy away from the reality TV show cameras and in-depth interviews about the details of his life, but he’s obviously not afraid of going on long-winded Twitter rants or IRL rants. Sure, going to the studio with Ye or a photo shoot with Kim would be fun, but honestly, what are they like as parents without the cameras around?
Luna Legend {Daughter of Chrissy Teigen and John Legend}
The opportunity to have John Legend sing to me all day while Chrissy works on recipes for her new cookbook in the kitchen? You’d have to be nutso to decline that.
Alice and Penelope Richmond {Daughters of Tina Fey and Jeff Richmond}
TBH, I’d hang out with Alice and Penelope without Tina and Jeff, but in terms of a workload, I imagine both of their schedules are insane. Tina’s working on the upcoming season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and she’s executive producing new sitcom from 30 Rock/The Mindy Project alum Tracey Wigfield Great News, and also a pilot (starring Casey Wilson & Busy Philipps!), while she and Jeff are working on adapting Mean Girls into a musical – due to hit the stage this fall in D.C. I just want a sneak peek of the musical.
Sasha Obama {Daughter of Michelle and Barack Obama}
Sure, would it have been a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go to work with your dad at the White House when he was still the leader of the free world? Yeah. But post-presidency Barack – the most low key Barack of them all – is the one I want to know all the things about. He’s technically not working, but it seems like he’s living his best life kitesurfing with millionaires, attending Broadway shows with Malia, and hanging out on yachts with other millionaires like Oprah and Tom Hanks. Maybe it’s just because I miss him and Mich a lot. Maybe it’s both.
Baron Trump {Son of Melania and Donald Trump}
Barron Trump is an enigma. But I just want to see for myself exactly how much (how little) work his dad is doing. Then get out of there ASAP.
The 68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards were last night and per usual, there were a lot of highlights and lowlights of the ceremony. But unexpectedly, a lot of our favorites took home the gold, and that’s why they helped make the Emmys one to remember. Here are some moments that we need to revisit today, and many days after today.
T: Handing out PB&J sandwiches on bicycles was an OK touch, but letting Gaten, Millie and Caleb take the stage to show their true talents of singing and dancing is the real win.
M: These kids are so pure and delightful I almost want to send them to 1983 to grow up there.
Hillary Clinton Wins An Emmy
T: Cue the first tears of the night. I legitimately rewound this reaction shot three times in a row right after it happened, and continue to be mesmerized by this GIF. Her speech was a tear jerker, but there was a cynical part of me that had me thinking… Kate truly deserved this for her performances this year, right? Listen, I love Kate and think she does great work on SNL, but part of me feels like Emmy voters partially gave the win to her because of Ghostbusters? Call it the Melissa McCarthy Effect. Remember when she won an Emmy the year she was in Bridesmaids? Yeah. But again, Kate is super talented and deserves all the praise she can get.
M: Kate is one of those SNL cast members who I noticed from her very first weeks and predicted that she’d be one of the great ones. She’s just that obviously good.
T: Did anybody else notice JLD didn’t seem herself when she got up to accept her award? She was shaky and looked like she wasn’t even planning a bit – then it all made sense when she talked about her dad. Out of her six acting Emmy wins, I feel like this might be her most memorable.
M: After her speech, I remembered how sad she looked at the end of Kate’s speech and it was right when Kate had mentioned her dad. I know we say this a lot, but we just love JLD.
T: In all seriousness, I am so so glad Aziz and Master of None co-creator/writer Alan Yang won for Best Writing. I wrote about the episode they won for, Parents, last year, and I’m just glad Emmy voters and viewers alike paid enough attention to a show which features so much diversity and the untold stories of first generation kids. My only gripe is that Aziz didn’t get to give his speech at all.
T: Remember how our beloved Amy finally won her very first Emmy last week? Well she did, and she’s sharing it with her color-coordinating comedy wife Tina, and we were #blessed with their presence last night. Ever more #blessed that Amy called them out for nominating her 18 times without ever giving her a legit trophy.
M: They coordinated their dresses, right? I just think it’s really cute if they coordinated their dresses.
Sarah Paulson + Holland Taylor 4Ever
If I'm watching…?? If I'm WATCHING??? YES, I'm watching–!!! good LORD! … I LOVE you!!! pic.twitter.com/63341mz81C
T: There was a time when these two didn’t publicly acknowledge each other as their significant others, and here we are, living in a world where all of the Internet can swoon in jealousy over their love. Yes, Sarah was for sure the right person to win an Emmy, but another thing I know for sure – I have a new ship.
M: I think we’ve had a WCW post about Sarah Paulson in our drafts for like a year and I’m not even sure which one of us did it. I love that after years of working steadily, Sarah’s had this massive boost in her career lately.
T: You gotta give it up for Leslie Jones who continues to get back up every time assholes attempt to knock her down. And when she does get back up, she laughs it off and makes all of us laugh with her.
Bill Cosby Isn’t Here
M: Jimmy announced that Bill Cosby was coming on stage and Tina Fey was all of us:
T: Matt Damon continues to ruin Jimmy Kimmel’s life. As soon as he came out eating that apple, I KNEW he was going to make a Good Will Hunting Reference.
T: I don’t watch Mr. Robot, but I did watch Rami in the one episode of Gilmore Girls, and he is great. I refer to Molly for this one.
M: Thanks, Traci. Okay here we go:
Mr. Robot is a show you should be watching if you aren’t already (I’m going to specifically recommend it to fans of Orphan Black). There’s this incredible ensemble cast but the whole thing rests on how amazing Rami Malek is. His character has a tenuous grip on reality, but he’s also broken and kind and incredibly intelligent – miles away from the “complex lonely guy” archetype. IRL, Rami just seems like a real gem of a human in addition to being good-looking and all that. His cousin was his Emmys date, he really loves his mom, and he interrupted an actor roundtable because everyone kept using male pronouns when discussing directors. He deserved to win and I’m so happy for him. PS he has a twin brother. Back to you, Traci.
T: I can barely look at any videos or pix or GIFs or tweets from her co-stars because I start to tear up. I am so proud of this talented angel of a human in a way I would be proud if one of my nearest and dearest won an award.
M: I was so used to Tatiana not even getting nominated that I didn’t think she would win (SHOULD win, yes). I almost feel like she went so long without a nomination/win because she’s so amazing: as though voters who don’t watch the show couldn’t really understand that she was playing all of these characters, and none of them a caricature.
It was such a blur after she won that I had to rewatch her speech Monday morning because I forgot what she even said.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS HOT MAMA. THE DRESS, THE HAIR, THE BUMP?! I wish to look like her any day of the week.
Kristen Bell in Zuhair Murad
It’s like if Princess Anna was a modern day TV star and nominated for Best Actress in a Limited Series.
Yara Shahidi in Clara Rotescu
I don’t watch black-ish, but I am kind of obsessed with Yara? She seems like such a poised, smart, talented young lady who is ready to become a role model to girls (and women) of all backgrounds. This dress is perfect for a 16-year-old who’s still young and playful but also an actress on the verge of being a grown-up. Also, she’s the type of stunning that makes you feel like a creep because you’ve been stalking her on Insta for too long what
Priyanka Chopra in Jason Wu
I mean, come on. I love how this plays off of the diaphanous, one-shoulder trend that’s been going on for a few awards seasons but puts it in vibrant color.
Rami Malek in Dior
White dinner jackets have made a comeback in the past few years and with the new slimmer tailoring, they’re not looking like your dad’s wedding outfit from 1975. IMO, black pants are crucial to keep it from looking like a first communion suit.
Sarah Paulson in Prada
We all have those celebs who are hit-or-miss for us on the red carpet (Kerry, Kirsten, I’m looking at you). Sarah Paulson is one of mine, but when she looks incredible she looks really incredible. I love a nice vibrant green and Sarah, Tina and Amy were looking like the queens of the Emerald City last night. There are so few times you can wear a gown embroidered in crystals and stones, you know?
If we could snap our fingers and end up in any movie moment from this holiday season, we absolutely would have gone to the world of the Ellis sisters’ teenage bedroom in the Paula Pell / Tina Fey / Amy Poehler comedy, Sisters (what, did you think we would say a Star Wars thing? We have some catching up to do before we’re ready for that).
While we’re holding our breath for an extended DVD feature with the set designers, we can’t help but wonder what was inside the sisters’ high school yearbook … which we’re sure was lurking somewhere beneath the banana clips, L.A. looks gel, and those weird circular things you used to gather long t-shirts to the side. Here’s our best guess at the characters’ senior superlatives, activities, and quotes – plus some bonus teen photos of some of our favorite funny people.
Kate Ellis (Tina Fey)
Clubs/Extracurriculars:After-Prom Committee, Ski Club*, Fashion Club (founder, first quitter), Saturday Detention Club (social liaison)
Quote: “Man, living at home is such a drag.” – Beastie Boys
Superlative: Most Casual
*This was a lie for the benefit of college applications. Florida.
Maura Ellis (Amy Poehler)
Clubs/Extracurriculars: Field Hockey, Lacrosse, French Club, Newspaper (Editor), Yearbook (Editor), Model Peace Corps (Somalia), Big Brothers/ Big Sisters, Adopt a Grandparent, Adopt a Highway, Amnesty International (Student Chairperson), Mock Arbitration
Quote:“You don’t have to be famous. You just have to make your mother and father proud of you.” – Meryl Streep
Superlative:Hardest Trier
Brinda (Maya Rudolph)
Clubs/Extracurriculars:Drama Club, JV Cheerleading, Student Realtors Of America, Culture Club
Quote: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around once in a while you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Superlative:The Worst
James (Ike Barinholtz)
Clubs/Extracurriculars:Drama Club, Shop Club, Swim Team
Quote: “With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.” Rodney Dangerfield
Superlative: Most Heartbreaking
Kelly (Rachel Dratch)
Clubs/Extracurriculars: Yearbook (photographer), Class Archivalist
Quote: “Hold on to 16 as long as you can” – John Mellencamp
Superlative: Best Years Of Her Life
Sam (Kate McKinnon)
Clubs/Extracurriculars:Softball, Teen Orienteering, Shop Club, Junior Survivalists, Bowling
We’ve written about our comedy deity numerous times on the blog before – the queens that are Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Instead of writing about how much we adore and look up to these wonderfully smart, talented, confident women before their BLOCKBUSTER movie Sisters comes out on Friday (against Star Wars – #YouCanSeeBoth), let’s talk about the person who is responsible for bringing our First Ladies back together, the writer of Sisters, Paula Pell.
totally normal, casual photo
For comedy nerds, Paula and her impressive career shouldn’t be news to you. But for those who aren’t as geeked as us, here’s a brief intro to this hilarious human. Paula’s first big break was in the mecca itself, Saturday Night Live. She started as a writer in 1995 and continued working there until 2013, but she occasionally writes a few sketches here and there (and rumor has it she might be returning this weekend when Tina & Amy double up as hosts!). But more on SNL later.
Paula’s writing has spanned into her own webseries Hudson Valley Ballers, and she was hired by Judd Apatow to tweak, or “punch-up” the scripts for Bridesmaids and This Is 40. Plus she’s a great follow on Twitter.
On screen, you might remember her as Ron Swanson’s mom, Tammy Zero, on Parks and Rec:
or Pete Hornberger’s problematic wife Paul on 30 Rock:
But back to SNL. In her nearly 20 year tenure at the show, she wrote some of the most iconic sketches in the show’s history, and you’ve probably quoted her lines at least one point in your life.
Starting with the most recent, she returned for the SNL 40th Anniversary special, joining forces with longtime SNL writer/producer & Tonight Show announcer Steve Higgins and Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake for the musical journey through SNL history in the cold open:
And Paula’s work was mentioned multiple times throughout that song, since he work is so prevalent in SNL history. Here are just some of the sketches she’s written throughout the years. If you like any of these, you’ll probably like Sisters too. #YouCanSeeThemBoth.
Bobbi and Marty Culp
I remember truly getting into SNL when I was in 6th grade, when the main players included folks like Will Ferrell, Tracy Morgan, Tim Meadows, Ana Gasteyer, Molly Shannon, etc. Needless to say, it was a solid time for the show. During this era was a sketch featuring The Culps, a husband and wife team of music teachers and frequent random school assembly performers. Their shtick was to cover “hip” pop tunes but still sing it in a ridiculous way, and still to this day, sketches like The Culps and a few below have special places in my heart that feel like a warm hug.
Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri’s over enthusiastic and under qualified Spartan cheerleaders are two of the most recognizable and beloved characters to come out of SNL, and Paula helped bring them to life. She and Will and Cheri would write all the sketches together, and Paula has even said their late-night sessions even led to Will taking off his shirt in delusion. Oh to be in those offices. For the genius in the making – not shirtless Will Ferrell. To be clear.
Paula helped create possibly Rachel Dratch’s most memorable role as the depressing Debbie Downer who just could not catch a break. Years later, I feel like the term “Debbie Downer” is still used in regular vocabulary to describe anyone who is just downright miserable. Which I think is ironic, seeing as how Debbie Down only brings us joy to our lives. Plus, I will still watch that classic Lindsay Lohan episode every few months.
In 2003, Justin Timberlake was coming off ‘N Sync and setting himself apart as a solo artist. But when he signed up to host SNL for the first time, he also had to prove his acting and comedic chops. Little did we know he blew us all away and went on to become a member of the prestigious Five-Timers host club. In that very first ep he hosted in ’03 when he knocked it out of the park, he did a sketch called Omeletteville, in which he dressed up as a giant omelette in order to promote a nearby breakfast restaurant. His rival? Chris Parnell, dressed as bacon and eggs and also keen on getting customers into his diner. The sketch was such a hit, that JT has gone back to do it five more times, including visits to Homlessville, Wrappinville, Veganville, Liquorville, and more.
Paula’s sketch featured the emergency room where redneck folks who got into redneck medical issues would go to be healed. I feel like this sketch was so odd and obscure and weird and off-kilter that it was brilliant.
Paula continued her streak of writing iconic characters for cast members with Gilly, A mischievous schoolgirl with an afro and questionable facial expressions played by Kristen Wiig. The initial unassumingness of Gilly, the use of repetition, and Kristen’s natural comedic talent make this such a great character, and Paula is the one to credit.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is one of those shows that you put on a pedestal and expect great things from because it has all the ingredients for your next new TV obsession. Interesting/unique plot? Check. Likable actress as the lead? Check. Tina Fey and 30 Rock crew on board? Check. But it’s very rare that shows like this not only meet your expectations but exceed them. Luckily, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt does just that.
When UKS came on Netflix at midnight Friday, I watched the first episode at 1am and had to physically stop myself from staying up all night to watch the rest of the short 13-episode season. It’s like sunshine crack and you can’t get enough of it. UKS soon was watched by thousands of other Netflix subscribers over the weekend and has gotten a lot of positive reviews from both critics and fans alike. If you’re not one of them, get on board, because this show certainly won’t let you down.
Basic Plot
Kimmy Schmidt (Ellie Kemper) was kidnapped when she was in 8th grade and taken by a doomsday cult leader, who had kept her and three other women in an underground bunker. The pilot takes place years later when Kimmy is 29, and she and the other “Indiana Mole Women” are rescued from the bunker. The show centers on Kimmy adjusting to life again as an adult in New York City.
Filling The Void
30 Rock ended a little over two years ago and we lost Parks and Recreation less than a month ago. While some of us are still in mourning for both of those shows, I’m happy to report that while Kimmy Schmidt will not be able to bring back Liz Lemon and Leslie Knope for good, it will help cure the pain. Kimmy is surprisingly positive and optimistic for having spend most of her formative years underground and secluded from the world, and she has the similar ‘Knope We Can’ attitude in life as Pawenee’s favorite political figure. She’s also like Kenneth the Page – actually she and Kenneth would probably get along rull well. Meanwhile, UKS itself has the same unique, “bizarre” tone as 30 Rock had, the same pacing the same joke after joke after joke storytelling style that is so clearly Tina Fey and nowhere else on television. Put those two together and you have a force to be reckoned with in Kimmy Schmidt.
Unbreakable Ellie Kemper
Like Friends and “The One…”, every episode title of UKS ends in an exclamation point. Kimmy Goes Outside! Kimmy Gets a Job! Kimmy Gets Venereal Disease! (JK about that last one) But the exclamation is totally and completely necessary because Kimmy lives life in an exclamation point. When one is rescued from a crazy cult (as one does), you can go in two directions. As Kimmy says, “You can either curl up in a ball or die” or “you can stand up and say, ‘We’re different! And you can’t break us!’ And Ellie Kemper is the perfect person to carry out the latter. Like Erin in The Office and Becca in Bridesmaids, Ellie in real life is just as lovable and quirky and has the ability to make you smile without even realizing it. Her natural excitement for life is shown through Kimmy’s own positive outlook on the new life she has. I don’t think Ellie is as naive as Kimmy, but she has a similar pureness to her. Kimmy is a girl who exclaims “What in the ham sandwich – I just got a job!” Ellie can pull that sort of ridiculous and childlike curse replacement without making it seem obnoxious, and it’s why she’s perfect as Kimmy.
Jane Krakowski Fabulousness
Jane of course has history with Tina, having played the egotistical yet affable Jenna Maroney on 30 Rock, a role that has earned her 4 Emmy nominations. As Jacqueline Voorhees in UKS, there might be more nominations in her future. While not quite as insane as Jenna, Jacqueline is a rich housewife with a son whom Kimmy is the nanny to. Despite the fact that Jenna and Jacqueline have a lot of similarities, Jane (a lot of Js going on) is proving she’s not just one dimensional as an actor. Although Kimmy is the main character, expect a great B story with Jacqueline, especially when it comes to her background.
30 Rock Realness
Speaking of which, UKS is just as offbeat as 30 Rock was. I mean it’s a show based on a girl who escaped a doomsday cult in a bunker. Not the type of show you will see on CBS’ Monday night lineup. And since Tina is still the brains behind the who shebang, it’s littered with her ‘odd’ sense of humor. There’s a new Sabor De Soledad in the Febreeze-like product Buh Breeze, and like Jenna Maroney’s impersonator-turned-husband Paul L’Astname, there are larger than life characters like Kimmy’s roommate Titus Andromedon and Tristafé the spiritcycle instructor. There’s a whole storyline where Titus and his other furry friends band together to go against a swindling costume shop owner. It looks ridiculous on screen, and only this type of show can make it as funny as it is. Speaking of Tituss, he played Da’Fwan, one of Angie Jordan’s crew on 30 Rock, and now he’s getting the role he deserves as Kimmy’s roommate/best friend. As an aspiring Broadway star (IRL, Tituss is actually a Broadway star), Tituss helps Kimmy back into the real world but also provides for some wacky stories.
90s/00s Refs Up The Whazoo
Because Kimmy has been literally living under a rock (of the earth) for 15 years, her brain is still stuck as a middle schooler, so all her pop culture and life references are from the 00s and before, that don’t make as much sense or are as relevant in 2015. And it’s amazing. Some things mentioned throughout the series include, but are not limited to:
American Girl
Light up sneakers
Moesha
“As If”
Tamagotchi
“Opposite Day”
Mavis Beacon
Frasier
The Breakfast Club
Cults
If you’re into like, learning about Scientology or the Illuminati or true crime or the Duggars, just watch this knowing it could be real and you’ll love it. The leader of the Mole Women cult is a guy named Richard Wayne Gary Wayne (classic Fey), and they’re actually dressed like they could be a Duggar. Naturally, they’re odd and have been taught weird things but also do normal activities like have secret santa, because, priorities.
Netflix to the Rescue
Tina and her 30 Rock partner Robert Carlock originally had a deal with NBC, but the UKS pilot wasn’t picked up to series. Luckily, not only did the fine folks at Netflix pick it up, they picked it up for a second season. As you can imagine, this is good in a number of ways for UKS – not only have they already known their fate, they can undoubtedly be a little more risque on Netflix as opposed to network television, which is saying something, because Tina’s crew is the one that brought you hard-hitting comments on sexism and race couched in comedy, James Franco’s infatuation with his Japanese body pillow, Margaret Cho as Kim Jong-il who kidnaps a popular U.S. newsanchor, and a pornographic video game, among others. Netflix will be different. Better different.
Theme Song
I’m not even going to link to it because when it first appears in the pilot it happens so naturally and it was one of those moments when a light bulb with heart eye emojis appeared over my head and I knew I was going to love the show. Plus when you binge watch, it gets stuck in your head.
It’s a good thing I get President’s Day off, because otherwise I’d be taking a mental health day today. The SNL 40th Anniversary Special had me up to my eyeballs in feelings. I knew it would, because I remember how it felt watching the 25th Anniversary Special as an SNL-obsessed toddler teenager. Obviously we were primed to love everything on our screens last night, but here’s what I loved the most of the most:
Opening Musical Number with Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon
Did you start off counting the throwback references and quit because the number was so jam-packed? There were shout outs to Lazy Sunday, Dick In A Box, the Ambiguously Gay Duo, Matt Foley, the wild and crazy guys, Debbie Downer, the cheerleaders, the “don’t make me dance” lady, the Blues Brothers, cowbell, Mary Katherine Gallagher, and a bunch more.
The Opening Credits
The only thing missing was Don Pardo. Yes, I’m talking about the list of people who would appear in the show. During our high school masses sometimes they’d roll out the litany of the saints, where the school chorus would just bust out a list of Catholics. The opening introduction of SNL 40 was the closest I’ll get to a personally relevant litany of the saints. But with Sarah Palin in there also.
The Bass-o-matic
Do you ever have that dream that you’re on stage and you’re supposed to be performing a play you were in years ago? And you worry that you’ll screw up your lines and blocking, and in the good version of the dream as soon as you’re out there it all comes rushing back. I bet this felt like a real-life good version of that dream to Dan Ackroyd.
Jeopardy
ALL of my favorite Jeopardy idiots in one go? AMAZING. From Kate McKinnon’s spot-on human piddling puppy Justin Bieber, to Sean Connery’s filthy misreads of Let It Snow and Who Reads (Le Tits Now and Whore Ads), it was hilarious and – success! – went on for exactly the right amount of time.
Audition Reels
If there’s one thing that makes me verklempt (and there are a billion things, we did a whole week on it), it’s seeing successful people during those little tenuous moments before things started for them. Just the idea that they were living a normal-isn life and couldn’t know how much things would be changing is so sweet. The one that really got me was seeing a baby-faced, slightly nervous looking Amy Poehler. Andy Samberg as a jogger from 1982, Jimmy Fallon looking like he took a cab over after junior high, Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig debuting some of their most famous characters – it was like when you see baby pictures of people you’ve only seen as adults.
The Californians
Everyone I know loves the Californians, and I only ever just liked it. This one was different. Laraine Newman cracked me up, Betty White making out with Bradley Cooper was the best thing I’ve seen in weeks, and even Taylor Swift’s wacky accent and hair-mustache were hilarious.
WEEKEND UPDATE DREAM TEAM!
Highlight of the night, here. I had hoped for a Tina/Amy reunion, or a Tina/Jimmy, Amy/Seth showdown, but I hadn’t even dared to dream we’d get Jane Curtin. Watching the clip reel of past Update moments, it’s really clear that some people are just better at it. They have the right combination of charisma and crisp, sharp delivery to make the jokes land hard. I’m not here to name names of the people who weren’t as good (though let’s just say that everyone I listed was amazing, and I think Cecily Strong had the makings of being darn good too). Anyway, whenever anyone starts the job, I think they should sit in a room and watch tape of Jane to see how it’s done.
[Sidebar: my favorite Jane Curtin story is also a Gilda Radner story. Compared to the coked-out masses of the early Not Ready For Primetime Players, Curtin was always very straight-laced and diligent. She had a stable marriage and was basically just normal. Gilda would go over to Jane’s house just to watch Jane and her husband Patrick Lynch make dinner and act like regular people. Jane felt like it was a little weird, but of course she let Gilda keep coming over because she so loved seeing regular, happy people in their natural habitat. So while Jane Curtin pulls off the stern, ball-busting news anchor thing, she’s a giant sweetheart at the same time.]
The celebrity tributes to their favorite characters was an adorable way to bring back Roseanne Rosannadanna (Emma Stone, who nailed it and looked like she was living a Gilda fan’s dream) and Matt Foley (Melissa McCarthy, physical comedy for DAYS). They were perfectly framed not as an attempt to replace Chris Farley and Gilda Radner, but as recognition of what all fans did growing up, impersonating recurring characters. And of course, no Update segment would be complete without the return of Seth Meyers and Stefan and the land shark at the update door.
Maya Rudolph as Beyonce
With appearances by Garth and Cat, Marty Culp and Bobbi Mohan-Culp, Opera Man, What’s Up With That, the Love Theme from Jaws, and the Blues Brothers.
Jerry Seinfeld Q and A
The audience Q and A is a classic SNL opener, and this one with an all-celeb audience was great. Ellen Cleghorne really stole the show though, didn’t she?
Tracy Morgan
Yes, I shed a little tear when Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin introduced a clip of Tracy Morgan, who is still recovering from last year’s car accident and couldn’t be there last night.
Digital Short: That’s When You Break
Andy Samberg and Adam Sandler are a perfect pairing, and it felt so right to celebrate the many times cast members have cracked up over the years. But mostly Fallon and Sanz.
In Memoriam
Look. I cannot watch Gilda Radner without my heart breaking and singing at the same time. I knew that part would make me cry a bit, and it did. There are some other cast members, like Phil Hartman and Jan Hooks, who were taken far too soon. But I was especially touched to see the tributes to the crew members who have passed on. Next time you watch SNL, pay attention to one non-performing aspect of the show, whether it’s sets or costumes or props or cue cards. The show wouldn’t have made it 40 years if they didn’t have one of the best crews in television. It felt so special to acknowledge their efforts, especially in a room full of performers from all different eras who knew firsthand how important these workers were. It was also fitting to end with a moment of levity, mourning the untimely loss of John Lovitz.
Mega-Goodnight
I should probably watch the goodnights in slow-mo, because it was like a Where’s Waldo of awesome people who I love. The whole night was, really.
Happy Golden Globes day, friends! We look forward to this day every year, for a few reasons. It kicks off the start of awards season, it mixes the Hollywood elite with the charming folks of television, there is drinking involved, and for the past two years, our queens Amy and Tina have been the glorious hosts.
T: I’M ALREADY CRYING AS SOON AS AMY AND TINA APPEAR ON THE RED CARPET.
T: Hi Emily Blunt is gorge but why is JKras avoiding the interview??
T: I am dying over Amal Clooney’s white gloves, y’all. Like when is someone making a Twitter account for this? Also, when Ryan Seacrest asked who her gloves were by she said, “They’re my own.” OF COURSE THEY ARE.
M: YES. You can almost see Amal thinking “this is all very cute, but just so you all know, I have a REAL job.” Except more gracious.
T: She’s so much better than this. The woman wore a Dior Haute Couture gown because, and I quote, “In solidarity with the French people who have gone through a terrible week.” Like, you’re a better person than everyone on this carpet.
M: My over-the-top love for Amal Clooney finally makes me understand how baby boomer women feel about George Clooney.
T: Agreed. And mine is a newer love for her, kinda like the time everyone was freaking out about Kate Middleton and their wedding and I was all WTF she’s just human then I started watching it and next thing you know I’m up at 4am watching it and DVRing every possible special on their matrimony.
M: I tuned in around 7:30 only to be greeted by Emma Stone’s brother(?) wearing a men’s headband (headman-d?) and chewing gum. Queue my memory of our Italian high school Spanish teacher – got that? – telling us that chewing gum makes you look like a horse.
M: Reese Witherspoon is wearing a pretty silver number and walking with real-life Wild. Okay, not sure what her name is. Anyway you know how usually in biopics the actor is a significantly more attractive version of whoever they’re playing? Not here! Wild is really pretty.
M: Please, just one time, can Jennifer Aniston just say screw it and show up with The Rachel?
M: Lupita Nyong’o. Human flower petal. Jeeeez.
T: So clearly, if you watched the E! Red Carpet, Guliana’s love for George Clooney has pushed her to drinking multiple shots of his tequila and now she’s shitfaced. She’s the girl who you can tells is trying super hard to concentrate but is completely gone.
M: Also, Guliana is saying “selfie” like my parents do. Like, you can hear the quotes around it. Like it’s on this week’s vocab quiz.
M: Melissa McCarthy… first of all, beautiful. Second of all, sort of Annie Hall meets caterer or All-County Chorus? Maybe I’ll like it more tomorrow. Hair and face-wise, she’s looking amazing though.
T: Honestly though, as it gets closer to the beginning of the Golden Globes, I feel like a little kid on Christmas Day, but instead of opening presents, we’re opening the pure joy and delight of Tina and Amy.
T: THE QUEENS ARE ALREADY IN THEIR SECOND OUTFITS FOR THE NIGHT! Amy said on the red carpet, “We have about 50 outfit changes and 10 emotional changes”.
T: I don’t think I have seen Wes Anderson before? Maybe? Either way, yeah that’s what he should look like. Even his velour black tie is askew.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie
Uzo Aduba, Orange Is The New Black Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Freak Show Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey Allison Janney, Mom Michelle Monaghan, True Detective
Molly’s Pick: Uzo Aduba
Is it even a question?
Traci’s Pick: Uzo Aduba, Orange Is The New Black
Uzo Aduba all day son. All friggin day.
WINNER: Joanne Froggatt
M: Anna had a hell of a season and all but I never thought Joanne Froggatt would have won.
T: Me either. I lit’rally said out loud: WHAT?!
M: Aw, she seems sweet. So I’m not TOO mad about Crazy Eyes.
M: Yes, Jennifer Lopez. We KNOW. You wear dresses like that.
Best Mini-Series Or TV Movie
Fargo The Missing The Normal Heart True Detective Olive Kitteridge
Molly’s Pick: The Normal Heart
I should probably watch True Detective, right?
Traci’s Pick: True Detective
For the record, I want The Normal Heart to win all the awards.
WINNER: Fargo
M: So, is Twitter alight with ‘Golden Globes’ jokes re: J. Lo’s boobs? Because those suckers are SPHERICAL.
…and I was typing that her co presenter Jeremy Renner just made one.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie
Martin Freeman, Fargo Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart Billy Bob Thornton, Fargo Matthew McConaughey, True Detective Woody Harrelson, True Detective
Molly’s Pick: Mark Ruffalo, The Normal Heart
Because I don’t think you should have to listen to a McConaughey acceptance speech unless you’re stoned.
Traci’s Pick: Matthew McConaughey, True Detective
Oblig McConissance, Alright x3, Time is a Flat Circle, etc.
WINNER: Billy Bob Thornton
M: This is that time every year or two when we all remember that Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie used to be a thing, and she wore his blood in a vial around her neck. I remember THAT but it’s a crisis every time I have to remember where my phone charger is.
M: If you missed the bit with the “North Korean journalist” and Meryl taking an iPhoto with a magazine so the show could continue… Check tumblr. I’m sure there will be a gif by the time we post this.
M: When they announce Lena Dunham’s nomination, all I can look at is the plate of tiny, beautiful cookies on her table. Oscars are classier but the Globes are definitely the show I’d want to be at.
T: MY EYES WENT TO THE COOKIES TOO.
Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series – Comedy Or Musical
Lena Dunham, Girls Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin Taylor Schilling, Orange Is The New Black
Molly’s Pick: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
What I really want is an acceptance speech written in the voice of Selina Meyer.
Traci’s Pick: Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin
Remember when Andy Samberg won last year? And everyone was like WTF (even tho I love him)? I feel like Gina is the wildcard this year to illicit the same reaction.
WINNER: Gina Rodriguez
T: Guys, I’m crying, and I don’t even watch Jane the Virgin.
M: I’m not just tearing up I am straight up CRYING. I mean to watch it, if that counts.
Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy
Girls Jane the Virgin Orange Is The New Black Silicon Valley Transparent
Molly’s Pick: Orange Is The New Black
How have we never discussed our mutual love of Poussey Washington?
Traci’s Pick: Orange Is The New Black
#PousseyWashingtonFTW
WINNER: Transparent
M: So, Transparent winning might be that extra push I need to finally subscribe to Amazon Prime.
T: LAWD THE TEARS AREN’T STOPPING. I didn’t realize this year’s Golden Globes was an episode of Parenthood.
M: YOU AREN’T KIDDING. Again, don’t even watch Transparent. This year’s Golden Globes scores a five on a scale from one to five Crying Dawsons.
M: I even saw St. Vincent, yet every time they mention it I expect to see the musician by the same name.
T: Melissa McCarthy used her fashion skills to take the skirt from an old gown and mix it with that collared white top to make her dress tonight. I can barely sew up a hole in my leggings.
M: I have a shirt where the seams are ripping and I’m like “alright, we’ve had a good run, enjoy your new home at the Goodwill drop off shed.”
T: Johann Johannson (best name of the night, tbh) is from Iceland and for some reason I expected him to come out speaking like the Swedish chef. #typicalamerican
M: Yeah, and I also expect that everything he says will be all quirky and Bjorky. False advertising, Iceland Travel Bureau.
T: WTF Prince? Even Allison Janney was like fangirling and completely confused as to why he’s there.
M: The nominees in the original song category, though! Patti Smith?! Between that and Prince I’m caring way more about this category than I expected to.
Is Common the first person to thank God yet? That’s my favorite awards show trope. But his speech is great! Also, I was listening to the speech but hadn’t looked up at the screen yet, and I thought John Legend was speaking, and let me tell you, seeing Common when you’re expecting to see John Legend is a weird sort of jolt.
M: Joey Potter bought a LOT of hair to wear tonight. Also, I cannot see her without remembering Tina Fey’s story about how she said she was a good tap dancer, and was not. Hope they had a dance off backstage!
T: Reminder that BOTH Joey and Pacey are at the Golden Globes right now.
M: I’m going to need a picture. #OTP
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie
Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart Alan Cumming, The Good Wife Colin Hanks, Fargo Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge Jon Voight, Ray Donovan
Molly’s Pick: Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing.
Traci’s Pick: Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge
Again, The Normal Heart, all day every day, but Bill Murray is one of those people like Ellen Burstyn that is iconic enough that people will vote for him.
WINNER: Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart
M: YAY! Well, there go the waterworks.
T: Matt Bomer and The Normal Heart haven’t won enough awards, IMO.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical
Amy Adams, Big Eyes Emily Blunt, Into the Woods Helen Mirren, The Hundred-Foot Journey Julianne Moore, Map to the Stars Quvenzhane Wallis – Annie
Molly’s Pick: Emily Blunt, Into The Woods
Amy Adams was great in Big Eyes, but I’ve never seen the Baker’s Wife be so lovable and funny and just fantastic.
Traci’s Pick: Emily Blunt, Into the Woods
I was just so enchanted with Emily Blunt in Into the Woods. I mean I’m always enchanted by her (and J Kras as a couple), but even more so in this film. Like everyone else, I didn’t know she could sing, and mix that with her excellent acting skills, she’s a standout in the movie.
WINNER: Amy Adams
M: Dude, “Quevenjohnny?” NOPE.
T: Yeah, still saying it wrong, man.
M: Yay! While I would have loved to see Emily Blunt win, Amy Adams was incredible in Big Eyes. My only qualm is that it didn’t read as a “comedy,” really. If we want to talk about comedic roles this year, I think the best might have been Jenny Slate in Obvious Child. Just understated and lovely.
M: We’re now at the Little Miss Nepotism portion of the evening (Miss Golden Globe, the child of a famous person, who does nothing).
Best Animated Feature Film
Big Hero 6
The Book Of Life
The Boxtrolls
How To Train Your Dragon 2
The LEGO Movie
Molly’s Pick: The LEGO Movie
I liked Big Hero 6 a lot, but the two nephews I went with (ages 5 and 3) hated it. Like, they were traumatized not by the movie but by the depth of their own hatred for it.
Traci’s Pick: The LEGO Movie
EVERYTHING IS AWESOMEEE
WINNER: How To Train Your Dragon 2
M: I’m of the mind that nothing with “2” at the end of the title should ever receive an award.
T: Ahem *Sister Act 2*
M: Point taken. His eye really WAS on that sparrow. All the awards.
M: I have so much trouble remembering which one is Kate Hudson and which is Katherine Heigl.
M: Jared Leto’s hairline and eyes are so perfect and even that he looks like a limited-edition doll from the Ashton Drake galleries.
Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Patricia Arquette, Boyhood Jessica Chastain, A Most Violent Year Keira Knightley, The Imitation Game Emma Stone, Birdman Meryl Streep, Into the Woods
Molly’s Pick: Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
Admittedly I haven’t seen A Most Violent Year, so Jessica Chastain could be a dark horse here.
Traci’s Pick: Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
This gal has been racking up awards this season, so unless Meryl pulls a Meryl, Patricia’s got this in the bag.
WINNER: Patricia Arquette
M: Whenever a celebrity thanks their kids, their names just sound like random sounds.
T: Patricia Arquette also has odd yet not Banjo odd kid names. Ugh, celebrities.
M: Yeah, not like fruit name-odd. Hey, everyone. As in all things, when naming a human being, be more like Meryl, Tina and Amy.
T: I just watched The Skeleton Twins the other day, and if you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you put it on your Netflix queue. Bill and Kristen are delightful and will make you laugh and cry. Who doesn’t want that in their life?
M: Seconded. It’s the perfect mix of laughing and crying. Joke with a tiny target audience: ” Kristen Wiig graduated from Brighton but she’s looking more Aquinas tonight… RIGHT?” (See, Kristen Wiig is from our hometown, and everyone at our high school was really tan all the time, whereas her school… Whatever. She’s TAN. OKAY?)
T: CLASSIC AQ V. BRIGHTON JOKE.
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
Birdman Boyhood Gone Girl The Grand Budapest Hotel The Imitation Game
Molly’s Pick: The Imitation Game
Traci’s Pick: Birdman
I haven’t seen Birdman, but sure, they’ve been winning a lot, so add this one to the trophy case too.
WINNER: Birdman
T: Oh my, Alejandro Inarritu’s accent is fantastic. He did the thing where people add an ‘s’ to the end of words, like “Thank you to Amy Ryans”. So glad he’s a frontrunner so we can experience more of his speeches in the next few months.
M: My favorite use of the superfluous S is in the movie Selena, because screw it, let’s just keep dating ourselves here. Selenasssss.
M: I was going to write something about Lily Tomlin but I put my cursor down and the only words I could form were LILY TOMLIN. Lily Tomlin. I feel about my childhood comedy heroes the way other people feel about Mr. Rogers or their first really great teacher.
T: Jane Fonda – proving her workout videos actually work since 1982.
Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series – Comedy Or Musical
Louis C.K., Louie Don Cheadle, House of Lies Ricky Gervais, Derek William H. Macy, Shameless Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent
Molly’s Pick: Louis C.K., Louie
Wishful predicting: I expect to be bored for about half of this show and think a speech from Louis would really liven things up.
Traci’s Pick: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent
On my list of ‘shows I should probably watch during the summer hiatus’
WINNER: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent
T: HERE COME THE WATERWORKS AGAIN.
M: Ha. I was just going to ask how you were holding up. Me too.
T: So the announcer took a struggle bus to say those guys’ names who won the Best Foreign Film award.
M: it’s like when a kid from the slow reading group would get called on to read aloud in elementary school. Cringe city.
T: You know that feeling when someone goes up to a microphone and they start talking and you get a feeling that they’re about to say something cringe-worthy and you just grip your seat hoping it doesn’t become embarrassing? Yeah, that was me with Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Best Television Series – Drama
The Affair Downton Abbey Game of Thrones The Good Wife House of Cards
Molly’s Pick: House Of Cards
I love Downton but Traci’s right.
Traci’s Pick: House of Cards
I like Downton and all, but why are we still nominating them for things, folks?
WINNER: The Affair
T: Diane Kruger is exceptionally excited for Joshua Jackson’s win, so much so that I’m beginning to think he’s not actually still with Joey Potter…
M: Nah, Pacey & Joey forever. All my notebooks from 1998 can’t be wrong. It looked like some sort of funhouse with everyone filing in through a mirrored hallway.
Best Performance by an Actor in a TV Series – Drama
Clive Owen, The Knick Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan Kevin Spacey, House of Cards James Spader, The Blacklist Dominic West, The Affair
Molly’s Pick: James Spader, The Blacklist
How have I seen NONE of these?
Traci’s Pick: Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
I feel like this is a weird category, maybe it’s because none of these are traditional network shows, but hey, that’s where TV is going these days. Anyways, Kevin Spacey is a scary breaking the fourth wall motherf’er.
WINNER: Kevin Spacey, House Of Cards
M: I’ll take your word for it, HFPA.
T: Too QT that Kevin and Kata Mara came together. #NoSpoilers
M: I can’t even figure out what could have gotten bleeped in that speech.
T: “It’s about fucking time?” Purely a guesstimate/wish of him saying that
M: I’d like that.
T: OMG I JUST REALIZED NURSE HATHAWAY IS PRESENTING THIS LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD TO GEORGE CLOONEY. ONE OF THE OG OTPS.
“We all want to be a ‘F.O.G.’ (Friend of George) is that a thing that people say?? Also I feel like George is too “young” to be receiving this award? He’s like 50 something. People that get this award are like the old guy from The Holiday (RIP).
M: yeah, me too! You have to be collecting social security at least, but ideally be likely to die of natural causes inside of a decade.
Wait. The old guy from The Holiday died????
T: IRL, yeah. Last year. Eli Wallach 😦
M: Man. I usually don’t start my Sunday Night Cry til 11 or so.
T: I INTERRUPT GEORGE’S SPEECH TO ANNOUNCE THAT JARED LETO IS SPORTING A BRAID TONIGHT.
M: And he clearly did some kind of texturizing spray or backcombing.
T: WAIT I’M CRYING AGAIN BC GEORGE WAS JUST SINCERE WITH THAT SPEECH TO AMAL. I’M DYING.
M: George seems awesome, but I just wanna hang out with Amal and talk about when the US will ratify the Convention On Rights Of the Child, and nuclear nonproliferation, and what Oscar de la Renta was like. God I love Cool Lawyers.
Best Director – Motion Picture
Wes Anderson, The Grand Budapest Hotel Ava Duvernay, Selma David Fincher, Gone Girl Alejandro González Iñárritu, Birdman Richard Linklater, Boyhood
Molly’s Pick: Richard Linklater, Boyhood
He may not be a likely winner but I’d like to see innovation awarded; just thinking of the directorial process when you’re working on the same story for a decade makes my head spin.
Traci’s Pick: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Birdman
The Hollywood Foreign Press Association always has a tendency to like foreign people, so give it to this Mexican director, por favor.
WINNER: Richard Linklater, Boyhood
M: Dream couple here. Let’s skip the award and talk to the Pratt-Faris family.
Best Performance by an Actress In A TV Series – Drama
Claire Danes, Homeland Viola Davis, How To Get Away With Murder Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife Ruth Wilson, The Affair Robin Wright, House of Cards
Molly’s Pick: Claire Danes, Homeland
I hope that Viola Davis wins because I love her… But I’m also a proud member of the National Association Of Law School Graduates Who Couldn’t Get Through One Episode Of HTGAWM
Traci’s Pick: Viola Davis, How To Get Away With Murder
HOOWWWW TO GET AWAYYYY WITH WINNING EVERY AWARD AS A HBIC.
WINNER: Ruth Wilson, The Affair
T: IDK if it’s because I don’t really like her character on The Affair, but I’m annoyed.
M: if you don’t get Showtime, is The Affair worth finding an, um, alternate way of watching it?
T: I exclusively find alternate ways of watching premium cable shows.
M: Yes, I’m a subscriber to “my parents don’t even know their HBO subscription comes with HBO GO” myself.
T: Also, this is how Viola Davis handled her night (as did Diane Kruger, which explains a lot). Oh hey Octavia Spencer. Love that they’re still friends.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical
Ralph Fiennes, The Grand Budapest Hotel Michael Keaton, Birdman Bill Murray, St. Vincent Joaquin Phoenix, Inherent Vice Christoph Waltz, Big Eyes
Molly’s Pick: Michael Keaton, Birdman
Everyone I know who saw it is either super into Birdman or super NOT into it, but I’ve heard overall positive reviews of Keaton.
Traci’s Pick: Michael Keaton, Birdman
A guy who played Batman IRL playing a fake actor who was famous for playing a super hero? Yeah, it’s about time he win a Golden Globe.
WINNER: Michael Keaton, Birdman
M: Is E Michael Keaton’s SL? Everyone’s eyes are saying “I have no clue what is happening.”
Best Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical
Birdman The Grand Budapest Hotel Into the Woods Pride St. Vincent
Molly’s Pick: St. Vincent
Taking the middle approach between Birdman (likely winner) and Into The Woods (crowd pleaser). Besides, I really enjoyed this one.
Traci’s Pick: Birdman
Again, haven’t seen this, but I’m assuming the HFPA loves it.
WINNER: The Grand Budapest Hotel
T: Whoa. Grand Budapest Hotel coming in from behind! (That’s what she said) AND homeboy has a speech prepared. Also that movie’s cast is apparently a total sausage fest.
M: I liked Grand Budapest, I mean it was fine, but I think I like when Wes Anderson works in a smaller scope (see, eg, Moonrise Kingdom).
M: Does Matthew McConaughey always speak like a VoiceOver of Civil War soldier reading an old letter in a Ken Burns documentary?
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Jennifer Aniston, Cake Felicity Jones, The Theory of Everything Julianne Moore, Still Alice Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl Reese Witherspoon, Wild
Molly’s Pick: Jennifer Aniston, Cake.
I can’t decide whether to pick who SHOULD win, who WILL win, or whose win would really make me happy based on what I’m Netflix binging. So, Jennifer Aniston.
Traci’s Pick: Julianne Moore, Still Alice
I’m afraid to watch Julianne Moore play a woman with alzheimer’s because it’s probably going to make me super sad, but I love her and she deserves this.
WINNER: Julianne Moore, Still Alice
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
Steve Carell, Foxcatcher Benedict Cumberbatch, The Imitation Game Jake Gyllenhaal, Nightcrawler David Oyelowo, Selma Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything
Molly’s Pick: Steve Carell, Foxcatcher
Holy NOT Michael Scott. But hey, maybe David Oyelowo?
Traci’s Pick: Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything
TBH, my choice is Steve Carell in Foxcatcher, because he was creepy as hellll and the polar opposite of everything you’ve seen him in. But Eddie Redmayne did the same thing, so he should win too.
WINNER: Eddie Redmayne
T: ‘Wow, what a category’ – Gwyneth Paltrow. Just gonna leave that there.
T: “How much are we gonna miss Amy and Tina” – Queen Meryl about Queens Tina and Amy’s last time hosting the Golden Globes. They still didn’t get enough air time, TBH.
M: I don’t know if I’m just greedy or what, but it seemed like even less this year.
T: Tina and Amy have been drinking since 10am this morning, let’s be real. Also if we’re being real, that Cho North Korea gag went on for too long. It also provided for less Tina/Amy time.
M: yes! I love her, but at an awards show I want quips, not gags.
Best Motion Picture – Drama
Boyhood Foxcatcher The Imitation Game Selma The Theory of Everything
Molly’s Pick: Boyhood
Well, it’s what I want to win, anyway.
Traci’s Pick: Boyhood
If you haven’t seen Boyhood, go right now or get it on DVD or whatever, because it is fantastic and nothing like I’ve ever seen before.
WINNER: Boyhood
T: Anyways, I’m really glad Boyhood won, because it’s one of my favorite movies of the year.
M: Agreed! Also, I’m now realizing that all of the movies and tv I watched this year were pretty lowbrow. Thanks, Hollywood Foreign Press Association!
Thanks for reading & watching with us! Until next time!
I have been waiting YEARS for someone to tell me how to get to Sesame Street. They drop the question in the theme song, but the show debuted 45 years ago today and still nobody has answered it.
When I was 3, one of the kids who hung around Mr. Hooper’s store looked like my neighborhood best friend, and I stewed for days over how she got on the show.
In preschool, Sesame Street led to my first ever wave of nostalgia. On a class field trip, my teacher turned on Sesame Street for us in her conversion van, and I realized that the show was still airing every day without me – when I was stuck playing duck duck goose with a bunch of sticky-handed tots who couldn’t even read yet. Remember, this was 1990, when there were no 24-hour children’s networks or YouTube clips. The only way to get to Sesame Street was to stay home from school.
A few years after that, one of my friends was convinced she was going to be on Sesame Street because of a donation her mom made during the annual PBS drive. Nope, that’s not how you get to Sesame Street either!
And now, as a full adult, I’d like to get to Sesame Street more than ever. Sure, part of it is that it represents a time in life when you could watch t.v. in your pajamas during the day. But mostly, these days it’s all about the guest stars. These clips make me feel as mad as I did in 1990, realizing that Sesame Street dares to go on without me every day:
Comedians Are On Sesame Street!
Jon Stewart delivered the fake, fake news.
Amy Poehler exercised (sort of!) with Elmo.
Ricky Gervais says “stumble” so many times it no longer sounds like a word.
And Cedric The Entertainer makes me wonder whether canteens are more relevant to kids’ lives than I realized. I grew up in the era of juice boxes.
Tina Fey is some sort of a book pirate.
What’s more adorable than Jimmy Fallon? Jimmy Fallon with Elmo. It’s all a bit much for me.
Maya Rudolph raps, sings and dances with Elmo. Also I think she has a real future in children’s television, if she wants it.
Conan O’Brien does startlingly good dog impressions.
Even Saturday Night Live itself is on Sesame Street.
Actors Are On Sesame Street!
John Kraskinski talks about the meaning of the word soggy, interacts with a non-Elmo Muppet, and is just generally as cute as a bug’s ear.
And he’s not the only cast member of The Office to make the trip from Scranton to… is it supposed to be New York? Steve Carrell teaches us about the importance of voting and snacks.
Melissa McCarthy learns choreography from a penguin with Elmo and it’s exactly as delightful as it sounds.
Jonah Hill is making sure today’s youth are aware of the inexplicable mustache trend that’s sweeping the nation.
Benedict Cumberbatch is just generally rakishly charming, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Tom Hiddleston. See comments re: Cumberbatch, Benedict.
Kristen Bell instructs us on the word “splatter” but does not instruct us on how she has managed not to age since Veronica Mars.
Our hometown hero, Taye Diggs, makes a three-year-old puppet drive him around.
Musicians Are On Sesame Street!
Remember when you couldn’t get away from Call Me Maybe? Well, it even made it to Sesame Street (no Carly Rae Jepsen, though).
Bruno Mars doesn’t want you to give up if you’re the kind of child who is bad at catching balls.
Usher teaches the alphabet and it’s just really, really good.
Even Queen Bey herself made it to Sesame Street, during her Destiny’s Child days.
You may remember this Katy Perry performance because a bunch of parents got mad that their toddlers, who stopped breastfeeding probably under 2 years ago, were exposed to Perry’s boobs. I really don’t know.
Delightful tap-percussioned group Tilly And The Wall even swung by for kids parents who are a bit more into the indie scene.
Political Figures Are On Sesame Street!
Sandra Sotomayor is hanging out with Abby Cadabby, melting my cold lawyerly heart, and letting kids know that princess isn’t a job.
Kofi Annan suggests that the muppets resolve their conflict “the United Nations Way”; thereby creating a “choose your own punchline” moment for the grownups watching.
Michelle Obama does a little light gardening.
And lest you think Sesame Street is partisan, Laura Bush reads a book.
Assorted famous people of 1991 are on Sesame Street!
We focused on currently famous folks, but Sesame Street has been hosting celebs since before the age of the remote control. This video features a number of early 90s superstars, but if you search through the Sesame Street archives you can find many more guest stars who were on the show while you were stuck in school, wishing for another field trip so you could hop in a conversion van and get to Sesame Street via the grainy tv set.
Well folks, she made it. Lindsay Lohan is celebrating her 28th year on earth today and we’re all alive to witness it. We’ve watched LiLo grow up in front of our very eyes – from The Parent Trap to acquiring an annoying celebrity nickname to befriending Oprah, Lindsay’s roots as a child star have putting her in the precarious position of being scrutinized in the public eye while still attempting to have a professional career. And while her heyday came between the late 90s and early 00s, Linds has still been in a number of films and TV cameos in her nearly 20 year career in the business, and many with exceptional co-stars. But let’s be real, how many of these outstanding co-stars deserved better than Lindsay Lohan? Hint: almost all of them. But in honor of Lindsay’s 28th birthday, here’s a definitive list of which of her former castmates deserved way better than a (in some cases, future) drug and alcohol addled LiLo to share the screen with.
28) Megan Fox from Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Who knew Megan Fox would turn into one of Hollywood’s sexiest and most profitable stars? Well she did, even though it may have been hard to tell when she played opposite Lindsay in this teen musical movie. Actually, as I’m looking at this picture, maybe Lindsay’s hat should’ve been on the list instead.
27) Tim Gunn in Project Runway
Linds served as a guest judge on the season six premiere of the fashion competition series, but let’s be real – the best part of Project Runway is Tim Gunn. And his fabulousness was wasted on Lindsay – like what even are those pants? She couldn’t even make those work.
26) The garbage can she fell into in Mean Girls
Warning: this is just the first of a few Mean Girls co-stars on this list – but I feel like one of the most iconic scenes from the movie is this one, with Lindsay’s legs just sticking straight up in the air. Who falls into a garbage can like that? And what ever happened to the garbage can after filming?
25) Bette Midler in Bette
If you don’t remember this show, it’s because it didn’t last long – Lindsay played Bette Midler’s daughter in the pilot, but when production moved from New York (where she was based) to LA, she had to pull out. Probably for the best since the show was short-lived and Bette probs could’ve found another child star.
24) Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday
Jamie Lee Curtis: THE scream queen and certified babe of the 1980s/1990s. She quickly became an A-list actress and then she decided to do this Disney movie with LiLo? Not to mention she came from Hollywood royalty (Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis).
23) Woody Harrelson in A Prairie Home Companion
I have a renewed love of Woody Harrelson after seeing him in The Hunger Games and True Detective. This guy can act. He’s not just the bartender from Cheers anymore (is that a reference people still make these days?) But his acting skills are severely undervalued and he should be playing quality roles like True Detective more often.
22) Natasha Richardson in The Parent Trap
To be fair, The Parent Trap kicked it all off for Lindsay, when she was still young and full of promise, so working with the great Natasha Richardson before her death is such an honor. Like Jamie, she’s Hollywood/possibly British royalty (Tony Richardson & Vanessa Redgrave) and was taken way too soon – Natasha seemed like a breath of fresh air when watching her on screen and made a simple kid’s film into a movie full of heart and hope.
21) Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls
Rachel McAdams is the actress that Lindsay should’ve become, if it weren’t for the, you know, downward spiral and all.
20) Jane Fonda in Georgia Rule
When Georgia Rule was made, Lindsay was in her prime – it was a post-Mean Girls world and she had so much hope and promise as a young actress that it’s obvious why Jane Fonda, a longtime veteran of the industry would want to work with her. It’s just that also around this time, Lindsay could barely work with herself.
19) Jimmy Fallon in SNL
After appearing in this classic Debbie Downer sketch (its first appearance on the show ever!), Jimmy has always been a fan/supporter of Lindsay – although who ISN’T he a fan of? Anyways, she’s appeared on his show multiple times and even participated in bits like Ew! JFal is one of the greatest comedians of our time and Lindsay’s just lucky he likes her.
18) Chris Parnell in Labor Pains/ SNL
I will say this about Lindsay: she’s actually been pretty good every time she hosts SNL. She’s not afraid to make fun of herself and always goes all in. Except for that last time she hosted – it was like Britney made her first public appearance since the meltdown and you could TELL she was on all these drugs to keep her sane. Anyways, SNL is clearly the breeding ground for the best comedians in the game, so when acting alongside the likes of Chris Parnell, you gotta step your game up. I know it’s hard to be funny sometimes, but you can’t win ’em all.
17) Lily Tomlin in A Prairie Home Companion
True story: when we were in high school, we decided to see this movie in the theater solely based on the fact that Lindsay was in it and singing. It was probably one of the most boring movies of our teenage lives, and a lesson on why you should never go to see a movie you’re not interested in (plot wise) just because there’s an actor/actress in it that you want to see. Anyways, revered funnywoman Lily Tomlin is in this and she sings with Lindsay.
16) The Danny DeVito Chick in Mean Girls
Because Danny DeVito lookalikes are hard to come by these days and she was severely underused.
15) James Franco in the fake movie in The Holiday
Lindsay and James Franco made a surprise appearance via movie trailer as the stars of the film that Cameron Diaz’ character was editing. Like Lindsay, James had already appeared in a bunch of TV shows and films prior to The Holiday, but let’s face the facts – only one of these people has earned an Oscar nomination.
14) Chad Michael Murray in Freaky Friday
Ah, Chad Michael Murray: The teen heartthrob so nice, they named him thrice. It’s hard to believe, but when Freaky Friday came out CMM was in his early 20s and seemed a bit old for Lohan. Only five years had passed since The Parent Trap, and little did we know that in five more years, LiLo would be filming such classics as Labor Pains.
13) Ashton Kutcher in That 70s Show
Take yourself back to 2004. Lindsay Lohan was THE teen queen – I mean, she even had a public feud with Lizzie Maguire herself, Hilary Duff, for goodness sakes – and the teen king of the day was none other than (technically 26-year-old man-child) Ashton Kutcher. Of course, Lindsay’s real That 70s Show love was Wilmer Valderrama. We’ll address that later.
12) Ana Gasteyer in Mean Girls
Imagine what could have happened if Ana Gasteyer had been able to sub in as Lindsay Lohan’s actual mother instead of Dina “Not Really A Rockette” Lohan.
11) Wilmer Valderrama in That 70s Show/Real Life
Wilmer Valderrama dated fresh-faced, attractive, pre-train wreck 2004 Lohan. This makes him fare better, dating-wise, than any other guy named Wilmer – past or present.
10) Chris Pine in Just My Luck
Remember Just My Luck? It doesn’t even air on TBS or ABC Family, but it was a sort of TV movie-quality theatrical release. It was an early attempt to turn LiLo into a RomCom leading lady a la Meg Ryan or Katherine Heigl (WHY ARE NONE OF OUR REFERENCES CURRENT? Do they even still make these movies? I feel like the last one I saw was in about 2009). Anyway, Chris Pine was a beautiful newcomer at the time.
9) Joshua Jackson in Bobby
Pacey Witter, Dream Man? Now it’s personal.
8) Jared Leto in Chapter 27
I don’t care if it’s skinny Jordan Catalano, ombre-haired Jordan Catalano, or chubby Jordan Catalano, Jared Leto will always be some incarnation of Jordan Catalano to me. But you, Ms. Lohan, are no Angela Chase. Arguably, Rayanne Graff if things really went south for her, but I always imagined she’d find her niche and really ~thrive.
7) Lizzy Caplan in Mean Girls
Proving that “slow and steady wins the race” (s/o to Aesop!), you didn’t hear too much from Lizzy Caplan right after Mean Girls, except for effusive praise from her co-stars. Now she’s winning acclaim for her role on Showtime’s Masters Of Sex, while Lohan is garnering attention for her factually inaccurate list of sex partners.
6) Maya Rudolph in A Prairie Home Companion/SNL
Maya Rudolph is one of those actors who’s able to make anyone she’s working with look good. Plus, she seems like a really fun and nice person. We’re jealous.
5) A Pre-Drugs Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap
The frustrating thing about Lindsay’s long, horrible demise is that at one time, she was really good. So how lucky were the people who got to work with Lindsay before all the troubles? Among those lucky people: Lindsay herself, really Orphan Black-ing it as Hallie and Annie in her film debut.
4) Meryl Streep in A Prairie Home Companion
Before Lindsay was accidentally calling out Jennifer Lawrence for saying “I beat Meryl!” at the Golden Globes, Lohan was costarring with Streep herself! But make no mistake: A Prairie Home Companion was still boring. Or, I mean, we thought so when we were 18 anyway.
3) Tina Fey in Mean Girls/SNL
Look, if you can’t build a viable career after Tina Fey wrote your breakout role, I don’t think anyone can help you. And don’t say that Tina didn’t try. Around the era we were all first realizing Lindsay wasn’t doing so great, Tina Fey and the other SNL folks even staged an intervention for her. Remember that show Intervention? If they’d had Tina Fey as the coach instead of that random guy they did have, they probably would have had a 99% success rate.
2) Amy Poehler in Mean Girls/SNL
Again, if having Amy Poehler as a potential mentor cannot help you rise above, I am not sure what can. I mean, Ask Amy videos alone are responsible for thousands of women Lindsay’s age (I mean… teen girls, who are the target audience, right?) getting their shit together.
Even before I wore glasses, I was a glasses person. As in, during my second grade eye exam, I tried to fudge the results so I could get a pair [word to the wise: they can tell when you do that]. So, when years of higher education and internet addiction finally caught up with me, I wasn’t too bummed that I finally needed a prescription. Far from the dorky glasses stereotypes, I’ve found that I get more compliments on days when I wear my glasses. This just confirmed what I already knew — some people just look better in glasses.
Take, for instance, the following celebrities. They all look great with two eyes, but even better with four. For our fellow glasses-wearers, we’re also including our picks for which frames we’d recommend to our favorite bespectacled celebs – or just those of us who would like to look like them.
Glasses are a staple in Zooey’s adorkable persona, and with her quirky, old-school sense of style we think she’d look awesome in these fun, colorful frames.
The petroleum industry owes Tina Fey a lot of money, because demand for plastic probably increased like crazy after she started wearing her black frames behind the Update desk. We’re sticking with her slight cat’s eye shape, but switching to a bolder color that we don’t think is too over-the-top for a no-nonsense funny lady.
Rashida really has fun with her glasses – she’s even been seen in some awesome clear plastic frames – but if you like her slim black frames, this is what we suggest. You still get the feel of the ever-popular chunky black frame, but in a size that won’t overwhelm smaller features.
How great are Hilary’s bold tortoiseshell frames? I think tortoiseshell looks great on everyone, but as a pale redhead I especially appreciate how the lighter tones are more forgiving on my complexion. Like Hilary’s glasses, these ones have an exaggerated tortoise pattern for those of you who want marbled frames but don’t want to look like your grandpa.
If you have a narrower face like Andy, you may be tempted to go for teeny-tiny frames, but you actually have a great face to show off oversized, 70s-throwback specs.
See how these glasses have rectangular lenses and a slightly triangular nose? This is a great way to add some angularity to softer features without going all the way to being like “hey, I’m wearing shapes.”
So, I do realize that Christina Hendricks and Joan Holloway-Harris (-Holloway again?) are two totally different people. Still, it’s hard to picture her in anything other than 60s style. For Christina, we’d go with frames with a 60s vibe (the slightly upturned corners) and a modern twist (an unexpected dipped bridge). We’re keeping her in multicolored frames (albeit subtle ones) – once again, a non-solid color is worth a try if you’re fair-skinned.
Of course, we couldn’t let the post go by without some gratuitous photos of our favorite glasses-wearing guys. We don’t really have any suggestions for these gents, except possibly that they wear their glasses more:
Justin Timberlake
Donald Glover
Matt Bomer
Anderson Cooper
[If you’re glasses shopping, we’ve made it easy – our recommendations all come from Warby Parker’s Spring 2014 and Palm Canyon Collections.]
Cookies + Sangria 
