What did YOU wear for the Superbowl? Me, I wore the heavy cloak of disappointment. Disappointment in the game itself, one of those ones where I was just rooting against the team that I wanted to lose most. Disappointment in that one Nationwide commercial, which only came in second on my list of Most Depressing Superbowl Moments because one year my grandfather died during the game. Disappointment in social media, where I assume the #LikeABoy hashtag was started by the same bros who thought up #ALLlivesMatter. But you know what? Not disappointment in the halftime show, really. It was good. Like any proper Katy Perry spectacle, the performance was full of over-the-top, fun costumes. Here are the best and worst.
Best Dressed
Katy Perry in the The More You Know symbol
Remember when you’d hear that “bing biiing bing BIIING” chime at the end of one of those PSAs when you were younger, and realize that that your favorite NBC stars had tricked you into learning something? Well, you probably had the same feeling seeing this symbol. Oh, shoot, there was a lesson in all of this?
A Human in This Cranky Ball Costume
“Hi Nana, it’s Stephanie! I got the job! I’m dancing with Katy Perry at the Superbowl!”
“The bucktoothed, downtrodden beach ball with the blue tights.”
“Nana? NANA?”
[These maybe should be on the “worst” list, but I’m just so happy that this was on my TV last night and my internet this morning.]
The Athenians, Probably in This Trojan Lion
While watching this entrance, I imagined that at some point the lion would open up and members of my favorite NFL team would spill out, taking over the game so that I could watch players I actually liked.
Missy Elliott in One Of Those Outfits She Wears
When Missy appeared on stage, even though the show was going well already, it felt like she … well … put her thing down, flipped it, and reversed it. The show was ON. And I’m so glad that she wore one of her classic Missy Elliott jumpsuits, along with a ball cap and hoop earrings. If I tried to wear her outfit, I’d look like I was in my jammies. But Missy looked like the rapper we all know, love, and really, really missed. How good does she look?!
By the way, I’m choosing to believe that one of her dancers was that girl from the Miss Elliott videos of the mid-2000s.
Lenny Kravitz in His Face And Body
This outfit also felt like a time-warp to 2004, but in a less positive way. But I do not care, because Lenny Kravitz was also sporting his face and body, which are both very nice.
Katy Perry in A Bathing Suit That Looks Like A Beach Ball From A Little Golden Book
Runner-up: The dancers in shark suits, because I had to wear a giant plush costume for work one summer and I appreciate their obvious discomfort for the sake of entertainment.
Katy Perry’s Microphone in A Wii Safety Strap
So she didn’t get too worked up and throw her microphone through the new TV.
Worst Dressed
A Dancer’s Hopes And Dreams in These Tree Costumes
There’s a certain silly joy in playing a dancing beach ball or a clapping shark, but playing a tree is just not a career highlight. The surfboarts were pretty bad too.
Katy Perry In Yule Log Screencaps
You have a Hunger Games budget, your flame dress shouldn’t look like a child’s drawing or a cheap fake fire place.
Those human chess pieces in my nightmares.
I can’t even parse out why, but the moment I saw these costumes my reaction was “I hate this.” It just seemed creepy. They also remind me of really sharp lego that you would step on when it’s dark. I don’t know. Just not a fan. Maybe it’s the pointy shoes?
Cookies + Sangria 