That’s Professor Angelina Jolie to You

Posted in Entertainment by Traci

Angelina Jolie recently announced she’s going to be a professor at the London School of Economics. Yeah, you read that right. Ok, I guess there’s more. She’ll be a visiting professor at the school and will teach a master’s class at the Center for Women, Peace and Security. Angelina is expected to discuss the role of women as they work alongside governments and the United Nations. If you’re wondering, the job is unpaid. So that all checks out.

I can only imagine that first class – as a student, impatiently waiting for a full-blown Hollywood superstar to come through the door and teach you about the world. It would be surreal and I don’t know how anyone could manage to easily pay attention. And that’s Angelina Jolie. I don’t even fangirl for her that much. But what if your faves stood behind a podium and taught you a college course? Or ever worse – one of your least faves walked in to give a lecture?

I’ve compiled a list of just some celebs I think would be great professors, and some… that should maybe stick to their day jobs.

Best: Lin-Manuel Miranda

Fact – Lin used to be a substitute English teacher at his former high school, so he already has the skills to be a real professor. He’s always engaging, always interesting to listen to and is a literal genius. Not to mention he’s already taught millions of people around the world about an American founding father. Sure, we might have known he was shot in a duel, but without Lin’s creative way of infusing history into pop culture, we would probably never known Angelica Schuyler’s full story or stanned over a real dude named Hercules Mulligan. Lin’s a professor of life, y’all.

Worst: Quentin Tarantino

I just imagine him talking way too much and spending an extra 45 minutes over class time explaining why The Grim Reaper is the most underrated of all of Bertolucci’s films.

Best: Bryan Cranston

He played a high school chemistry teacher, so why not? You know, if you forget the whole drug dealer lit’rally breaking bad thing. IRL, Bryan never fails to entertain – I dare you to find an interview in which he’s not charming and hilarious. He’d be the cool professor that would be okay with you stealthily drinking wine out of a tumbler.

Worst: Kanye West

A 45 minute rant on art and business and fashion? Pass. I’d be ok with a 45 minute concert from him tho, TBH.

Best: Kerry Washington

Ah the queen. She’s obviously a phenomenal actress, but her philanthropy and passion to speak out about important causes like women’s rights and equality and education is energizing and I just want to learn how to be as much like her as possible.

Worst: Stacey Dash

http://tearthatcherryout.tumblr.com/post/140219049413

I think that speaks for itself.

Worst: Idris Elba

https://www.instagram.com/p/t5UjohEiU5/

Let’s face it, I wouldn’t get anything done. I’d spend the whole class picturing him naked, which is probably not a good way to pass a class. Maybe auditing is the way to go.

19Feb2014

Some People Just Look Better In Glasses

Posted in Outfit Girl by Cookies + Sangria

Even before I wore glasses, I was a glasses person. As in, during my second grade eye exam, I tried to fudge the results so I could get a pair [word to the wise: they can tell when you do that]. So, when years of higher education and internet addiction finally caught up with me, I wasn’t too bummed that I finally needed a prescription. Far from the dorky glasses stereotypes, I’ve found that I get more compliments on days when I wear my glasses. This just confirmed what I already knew — some people just look better in glasses.

Take, for instance, the following celebrities. They all look great with two eyes, but even better with four. For our fellow glasses-wearers, we’re also including our picks for which frames we’d recommend to our favorite bespectacled celebs – or just those of us who would like to look like them.

Zooey Deschanel

Our pick: Walker in Canton Blue from Warby Parker’s Spring 2014 Collection

Glasses are a staple in Zooey’s adorkable persona, and with her quirky, old-school sense of style we think she’d look awesome in these fun, colorful frames.

Idris Elba

um sorry rando girl, no one’s looking at you…

Our pick: Preston in Red Canyon from Warby Parker’s Palm Canyon Collection

Smooth, sophisticated, and intelligent … and the glasses look really nice, too.

Tina Fey

Our Pick: Finch in Grenadine from Warby Parker’s Spring 2014 Collection

The petroleum industry owes Tina Fey a lot of money, because demand for plastic probably increased like crazy after she started wearing her black frames behind the Update desk. We’re sticking with her slight cat’s eye shape, but switching to a bolder color that we don’t think is too over-the-top for a no-nonsense funny lady.

Rashida Jones

Our pick: Duckworth in Revolver Black Matte from Warby Parker’s Palm Canyon Collection

Rashida really has fun with her glasses – she’s even been seen in some awesome clear plastic frames – but if you like her slim black frames, this is what we suggest. You still get the feel of the ever-popular chunky black frame, but in a size that won’t overwhelm smaller features.

Hilary Duff

Our pick: Kimball in Marzipan Tortoise from Warby Parker’s Spring 2014 collection.

How great are Hilary’s bold tortoiseshell frames? I think tortoiseshell looks great on everyone, but as a pale redhead I especially appreciate how the lighter tones are more forgiving on my complexion. Like Hilary’s glasses, these ones have an exaggerated tortoise pattern for those of you who want marbled frames but don’t want to look like your grandpa.

Andy Samberg

Our pick: Burke in Sugar Maple from Warby Parker Spring 2014

If you have a narrower face like Andy, you may be tempted to go for teeny-tiny frames, but you actually have a great face to show off oversized, 70s-throwback specs.

Ryan Gosling

Our pick: Seymour in Whiskey Tortoise from Warby Parker Spring 2014

I mean Ryan Gosling doesn’t need to ‘look better’, but I’m just saying he’s *that much* hotter with them on.

Donnie Wahlberg

Our pick: Winston in Cognac Tortoise from Warby Parker’s Palm Canyon Collection

See how these glasses have rectangular lenses and a slightly triangular nose? This is a great way to add some angularity to softer features without going all the way to being like “hey, I’m wearing shapes.”

Christina Hendricks

Our pick: Marcel in Plum Marblewood from Warby Parker’s Spring 2014 Collection

So, I do realize that Christina Hendricks and Joan Holloway-Harris (-Holloway again?) are two totally different people. Still, it’s hard to picture her in anything other than 60s style. For Christina, we’d go with frames with a 60s vibe (the slightly upturned corners) and a modern twist (an unexpected dipped bridge). We’re keeping her in multicolored frames (albeit subtle ones) – once again, a non-solid color is worth a try if you’re fair-skinned.

Of course, we couldn’t let the post go by without some gratuitous photos of our favorite glasses-wearing guys. We don’t really have any suggestions for these gents, except possibly that they wear their glasses more:

Justin Timberlake

Donald Glover

Matt Bomer

Anderson Cooper

8Aug2013

Celebrities, Will You Accept This Rose?

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by Traci

Listen. It’s no secret I watch The Bachelor. The ninth season of The Bachelorette came to a close on Monday, as Desiree Hartsock became engaged to Chris Siegfried after a seriously dramatic two part finale. I personally felt like this season was lackluster up until last week’s shit show where Brooks suddenly peaced out, so now that we’re closing Desiree’s (mostly boring ) chapter, we can look forward to The Bachelor.

Luckily for Bachelor Nation, this year’s fan favorite – Venezuelan-pro soccer playing-single dad- rico suave Juan Pablo Galvais was announced as the next Bachelor, and the crowd literally went crazy upon hearing this news. Scanning Twitter, ladies were saying left and right, ‘Where do I sign up?’ Even past Bachelorettes have offered to sign up again (I’m looking at you Emily Maynard).

Juan Pablo, Latin Lover – hater of shirts. PS: He went to Roberts Weslyan College in our hometown of Rochester to play soccer. So I mean, six degrees.

This got me thinking: who would I go crazy for and actually submit an embarrassing audition tape just for the chance to go on a group date with them? Of course I would absolutely never do this, but in the event celebrities decide to try out these reality TV dating shenanigans, I’m available. If Charlie O’Connell can do it, so can these guys, right?

Taylor Kitsch

Oh Tim Riggins. Just the thought of you makes girls across the world swoon. And while 33 may have been a player on Friday Night Lights, Taylor Kitsch has kept his love life on the DL ever since he became popular. So is he dating someone? We wouldn’t know. We would know if he became The Bachelor, and ladies would literally swoon during the rose ceremony. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Leo DiCaprio

We all know Leo exclusively dates models. So how entertaining would it be if he was The Bachelor? I guess I wouldn’t be able to join in on the fun – but on the plus side, it could be a mix of Bach + America’s Next Top Model, and Tyra Banks would still be there to be a crazy woman third wheel.

John Stamos

Because he’s 49 years old, and deserves love. Also, who wouldn’t want to date Uncle Jesse?

Idris Elba

oh, to be that smart water bottle.

To add to the older men of the list, Idris is 40 years old and may have a daughter, but as we’ve learned on The Bachelorette, a lot of people are okay with that. I would be okay with that if I could hook up with Idris Elba.

Nick Jonas

NO APOLOGIES FOR THIS PHOTO. NONE AT ALL.

Listen, guys. I am unapologetic for the fact that I like the Jonas Brothers. And while I was never a total fangirl over them, I appreciated their music, and most importantly, I appreciated Nick Jonas. He recently posted that photo above, and everyone was all, ‘whoa, when did Nick Jonas get hot?’ He got hot when he turned 18, that’s when he got hot. And recently he confessed he’s into older women because ‘they know what they want.’ Um ok, there’s only a six year difference between us Nick, so I’m totally down for a “cougar” version of The Bachelor.

2 Chainz

Although it would probably end up more like Flavor of Love, I just want to see 2 Chainz hand out roses/gold chains to his potential girlfrans, then shout 2 CHAINZZZ out loud.

Chris Harrison

The host of The Bachelor franchise is single and ready to mingle, so wouldn’t it be great to see the tables turned on him? He’s said he’d never do it, and it would be hard to fill his own shoes as host/therapist, so maybe it wouldn’t work. But so many soccer moms would line up to get a rose from him.

9Jul2013

Actors That Have Tricked You Into Thinking They’re American

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by Traci

Listen, we can’t all have a keen ear about these things. It happens to the best of us. One minute, you’re trusting the hardass CIA deputy director to Claire Danes, and the next thing you know he’s a classically trained British chap, who (semi-spoiler?) may or may not be a bad guy . What’s with all these actors and their constant lying? Shouldn’t we have a right to know if the people on my TV are American citizens?!?

Well my friends, I’m here to help you find out the truth. We don’t deserved to be lied to any longer and it’s coming to an end right now.

Hugh Laurie

British <- click to reveal their real accents!

Let’s start off with a pretty obvious one. Most people know him from House. I didn’t really watch House, but I had seen him and his convicing dribble as a psychopathic doctor. But when House became really popular, I realized I had seen Hugh Laurie before his breakout role. BECAUSE – he was the guy who sat next to Rachel Green on the plane when she was heading to London to break up Ross’s wedding. Hugh Laurie saying “Pheebs” is all you need in life.

Idris Elba

British

tall drink of water, amirite ladies??

First of all, smokeshow. Second of all, I was introduced to Idris when he was guest starring on The Office as Charles Miner. Incidentally, the gals of the office all fawned on him, especially Kelly & Angela (for some reason) that it was like they were thinking exactly what every woman at home was thinking. Then I found out he is British and it made him even hotter.

Ed Westwick

British

“I’m Chuck Bass.” Now imagine that with a British accent. The part was always an American, but when Ed came in, as seen in the video linked above, they asked him to use his natural accent as well. And for some reason, it’s just so much better as an America.

Damian Lewis

British

Nick Brody, terrorist? If you’re not caught up with Homeland, I won’t answer that question. But one thing we d know is that while he may not be a terrorist, he’s most certainly not originally from the U.S. And to make your mind blown even more, he’s married to Helen McCrory, the woman who played Narcissa Malfoy in Harry Potter!

David Harewood

British

This lit’rally blew my mind when I found out he wasn’t an American. I mean the deputy director of the CIA’s counterterrorism department isn’t actually from the U.S.?! Isn’t that illegal or something? This dude went to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. No wonder he’s successfully tricked us into thinking he’s one of us.

Matthew Rhys

Welsh

Oh Kevin Walker. You were 1/2 of one of my fave gay TV couples of all time with Scott MacFarlane’s Scotty Wandell. After five seasons with the crazy Walker family in California, he moved on to being a Russian spy in the 1980s with Felicity in The Americans. He’s played such convincing Americans that I still can’t believe his accent when he starts talking.

Rachel Griffiths

Australian

Speaking of Brothers and Sisters, Matthew’s on-screen sister is also not born and bred in Southern California. Her other iconic roles in Six Feet Under and the cousin in My Best Friend’s Wedding were so flawlessly American that I legit almost forgot to to put her on this list.

Kevin McKidd

Scottish

McDream, McSteamy, McKidd? Surprise – Cristina Yang’s on-again, off-again hubby has a seriously thick Scottish accent. Like they recruited him to be a voice in Brave.

Jesse Spencer

Australian

Hugh Laurie wasn’t the only trickster on House. Smokeshow Jesse Spencer is now off being a smokeshow in Chicago Fire. He doesn’t even have to talk to get my attention. SIDENOTE: JESSE PLAYS VIOLIN. AND SINGS. LIKE LEGIT. HELLO?!

Sam Palladio & Clare Bowen

British & Australian

What’s more American that being a country music star? Nothing (ok, maybe being President.). Which is why I feel jipped knowing that Nashville’s power couple are BOTH not ‘Mericans!

Tammin Sursok & Sasha Pieterse

Australian & South African

These two don’t really get along on Pretty Little Liars, but they do have one thing in common – they’re not originally from the U.S. Maybe that’s part of the reason why they’re toururing the PLLs??! Could they actually be working together? OMG I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON IN THIS SHOW.

Georgia King

British

Most convincing American accent by a female actress goes to Georgia King in The New Normal – RIP. You should’ve watched it when we told you to.

Dominic West

British

I’m currently watching The Wire for the first time, and did not put it together that Dominic West, who plays Jimmy McNulty on the show, is the same guy from 300, John Carter, and The Hour. AND he’s British? Never would’ve guessed.

28Feb2013

HBM: It’s a Thing You Should Get With

Posted in Entertainment, Lists by Traci

Warning: This is a super girly post, so apologies in advance if this doesn’t appeal to you.

I’m a big fan of acronyms. Circa 2005, I was super into them, and would basically try to converse using only letters. I was dumb. However, they can be super helpful, and act as a secret code with friends if need be (Ask me about MSP some time).

When I was studying abroad in 2006, I remember my pal Caitlin telling me on a bus in London about her favorite HBMs. What is a HBM you say? It stands for Hot Black Man. Totes a way of objectifying sexy black guys, but whatever. I’m a fan, so deal. Here’s a list of my favorite HBMs, because this blog doesn’t have enough mindless eye candy on here. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Taye Diggs

Idina Menzel, you lucky bitch. Also, these pix of him and their kid. And this super HOT video from Private Practice where he makes out with Audra McDonald on a table (!)

Donald Glover

He’s funny. He’s a rapper. He’s half hipster. He’s a smokeshow. Also, he’s usually shirtless at his Childish Gambino shows. ‘Nuff said.

Reggie Bush

This was the photo used on the cover of Essence magazine, which I bought awkwardly at CVS in ’10. And just in case you forgot he went out with Kim Kardashian, here is the hottest couples photoshoot (besides the Beckhams) you will ever see.

Boris Kodjoe

Why isn’t Boris Kodjoe more popular??? The man even speaks four different languages, including Germany where he was born. Probs the only man who can make that language sexy.

Michael Ealy

Ever since Barbershop, I’ve been staring into those dreamy eyes ❤

Jesse Williams

Speaking of nice eyes, here’s the prettiest of them all. Before he was shirtless on Grey’s, he was shirtless on Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, as the naked model Rory Gilmore had to draw in art class.

Idris Elba

You know what makes Idris Elba hot, besides his wicked sense of style and British accent? The fact that he’s a legit DJ. Really.

Tyson Chandler

I AM A CELTICS FAN. REPEAT: I AM A CELTICS FAN. But lawd help me if this Body Issue cover isn’t the hottest thing. Plus he seems like a really nice guy, so I mean, there’s that.

Lenny Kravitz

I’m just gonna leave this pic here, and you can go on from there.

Michael B Jordan

From Vince on Friday Night Lights to the boyfriend Haddie never deserved on Parenthood, he’s the best looking non basketball playing Michael Jordan there is.